Maraud
by AnOctoberPepper
Summary: "I know about the Order of the Phoenix, and I'm joining." - As Graduation looms closer the Marauders and Lily Evans search for a way to fight the impending darkness looming over the Wizarding world. But while learning to be adults and dealing with loss and love, being welcomed into the world of warriors may be more than they bargained for. Marauder Era Fic
1. Chapter 1: Order and a Flash in the Nigh

**Title** : Maraud

 **Summary** : "I know about the Order of the Phoenix, and I'm joining." - As Graduation looms closer the Marauders and Lily Evans search for a way to fight the impending darkness looming over the Wizarding world. But while learning to be adults and dealing with loss and love, being welcomed into the world of warriors may be more than they bargained for. Marauder Era Fic

 **Disclaimer** : Don't own anything, just enjoy playing with it.

 _A/N There is something unique about turning 22 in the Harry Potter Generation. You have this sudden realization that the "adult have-their-stuff-together marauders" had already told their story by this age. That you've already outlived Lily and James. Point being, why were they adults at this age and I am not?_

 **Chapter 1: The Order and A Flash in the Night**

"I know about the Order of the Phoenix."

It was a statement.

A quite clear statement issued from the mouth of Lily Evans on her 18th birthday. She wasn't taking "no" for an answer, "and I'm joining." She declared.

Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes stared at her, as she knew they would, over half moon spectacles. His long thin fingers steepled in front of his mouth, elbows resting on the table. Lily readjusted her stance to seem taller, more sure of herself.

Outside Dumbledore's office snow was falling in large flakes, but inside the air was warm and filled with the glow and crackle of a fire. It was a distractingly calm noise that wrestled under the tension of the situation.

The tension sat within the uncertain outcome, for there was no uncertainty in Lily Evan's mind. The last year had been long and tiring for her. Everything had fallen quickly out of control. Her mother had died in April, and she had floated in the turbulent storm of loss for months. The tempest followed her home as she and Petunia tried to visit one another over the summer, but without parents as a buffer there were raging fights and pools of tears.

School started again and while her sister fell for a beefy man with a mustache as large as his prejudices Lily found herself falling for a boy with wire-rimmed glasses and a surprisingly warm heart. Her sister's hastily written engagement announcement came on the same day Lily had said yes to James' first true invitation to dinner; the first one that wasn't pompous or on display for his friends, or the school. It was a quiet invitation under the old beech tree by the lake as he slipped her a stolen copy of an underground pamphlet against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They had gone to Madam PuddyFoots a week late, and without school permission. Their second date had been in detention.

Her life and plans had felt strangely out of control, but that changed on a dreary Thursday in mid November, during a long study session with the studious Remus Lupin. The once again sickly looking boy mumbled offhandedly a rumor, just that, a rumor, that there was an organization out there fighting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. "That's all I know" He had said with a shrug. "I don't even know if it's real." But Lily had wheedled one last thing out of him; That they might be called "The Order of the Phoenix." Something clicked in Lily's brain in that moment. Everything slid back in line.

Suddenly Lily felt her life fall back into place, a mission, a plan. She poured over books and newspapers, and she was embarrassed to admit it, but she used some of James's abundant sneaking knowledge to learn everything she needed to know about this Order. And now she was here. On her 18th birthday, ready to kick open the door to a new year. Ready to commit to the Order, so long as Dumbledore allowed it. Nothing in her life since her acceptance letter to Hogwarts had felt as right as this moment.

Across the room from her, behind an ornate desk, Headmaster Dumbledore's stare changed to a questioning gaze.

"We don't allow school-aged students to join the Order, Miss Evans." Dumbledore explained calmly.

Lily had expected this, but it didn't stop the floating feeling that unsteadied her as the wrinkle was tossed into her plan. She quickly covered her frustration, "I won't be in school long, sir." She breathed, "and it's my 18th birthday, I'm over a year older than legal. I want to join."

Dumbledore's expression didn't change. "Does the young Mr. Potter, who you have so recently begun spending time with, also know about the Order and have similar ambitions?" He asked calmly. Lily fidgeted and wrung her hands together behind her back. James Potter knew nothing about the Order. She hadn't told him because she knew exactly what he would do. She wanted to check it out first, learn more about the Order and then bring everyone else in, once she knew it was safe. The others could join once she knew it really was fighting for the right side, for the right reasons, with the right means. But did Dumbledore expect her to tell them, get them on board right from the start? The boys were hell-bent on fighting You-Know-Who, but they were still troublemakers. Once they graduated they would be assets. She knew that. But not before then.

"No." She answered, testing out the waters to see what the Headmaster expected of her.

He raised a quizzical eyebrow. "No?"

Should she tell him that she didn't think James would pass his NEWTs if he was distracted by fighting? Should she tell him she wanted James to practice quidditch, to fight Slytherin for the house cup this year more than she wanted him to fight Death Eaters? That it was hard enough to get him to show up for Head Boy duties without official Order spying missions to go on? Surely she shouldn't say she didn't trust the Order yet?

"I thought you would tell him eventually." She tried. Dumbledore only nodded quietly, knowingly, like he always did. As if he were planning something beyond the scope of her understanding.

"Perhaps that is better. They are an enthusiastic bunch." He said giving her a meaningful look. Lily nodded her agreement to the unspoken request. She shouldn't tell the others. "You are 18 today then Miss Evans?" He asked. She nodded. January 30th. As of today she was a year over the legal age and certainly old enough to be making this decision. Honestly she didn't know why she had waited this long. She had learned about the Order at the beginning of the month, but there was something about this date, her birthday that gave her the strength to face Dumbledore; made her ready to fight.

The two individuals waited in silence, each contemplating their choices. Lily felt exposed in the quiet space with only the sound of Fawkes and the tinkling of glass instruments surrounding her. She felt like Dumbledore was reading her past, her present and her future, then weighing it.

Eventually he nodded slowly and, she was nervous to believe it, was nodding approvingly. "Then might I wish you a happy birthday?" He said wistfully.

Lily returned a small smile, but was annoyed that he hadn't given her a straight answer. Her voice almost betrayed it when she said, "Thank you, sir."

Dumbledore's smile turned serious again. "Can you cast a patronus?" The question caught her off-guard. The patronus spell was one they didn't exactly learn in school. A seventh-year spell if they did. Remus could cast one, she thought, but that was from his own studying. She hadn't ever tried.

"Um?"

"Learn and then come back." Dumbledore stated.

Lily stuttered at the old man. "Patronus?" She asked for clarification, not knowing what the spell had to do with fighting Death Eaters. He nodded.

"Yes, just that one spell. Then come back to my office to show me the results."

She took a risk and asked. "But does that mean I'm in the Order?" Dumbledore pondered her as if looking for the answer in her green eyes, or her brilliant red hair.

"It means I have set you a mission that will benefit the greater good of the Order, and you should carry out that mission." He replied cryptically. Lily processed this. "Mission." That was as close to a yes as she could hope to get, she supposed. "You should get back to studying for your NEWTs Miss Evans I hear great things about you, and I wouldn't want your grades to suffer because you've been chatting to me." He added with a smile before reaching across his desk for a well-worn knitting magazine.

Lily stared for a moment then regained her composure. She thought about pressing for a more certain answer, but knew she would get none. Instead she turned to leave. As her hand rested on the brass doorknob Dumbledore added one more thing.

"I do think you'll make a swell addition. Do make sure to read up on you concealment charms?" And as Lily slowly pulled the door open to the descending staircase a smile spread across her face.

She was in.

* * *

The hallways, though not pitch black, were hard to navigate while running full speed, and Sirius careened into a third suit of armor with a deafening crash before finally deciding to take a stand. He wasn't afraid of the tall fuming figures hurdling after him, it was just that, he was, at the moment, sorely outnumbered. Five to one were far from good odds, and he was carrying a bag loaded with somewhat contraband party goods. Nonetheless he skidded to a stop and turned to the figures that had just begun creeping around the corner.

"Mulciber." Sirius smirked raising his wand before his face and trying very hard to stare down the group's leader. The Slytherin seventh-year had a puff of almost curly brown hair that he had never quite managed to comb over, atop an angular face and powerful body. His cronies fanned out behind him sneering and trying their best to look intimidating. Sirius saw Snape among them, but thankfully no Regulus. "Oh and Snivellus too, exciting. How are you doing? The hair color change potion in your breakfast not too upsetting for you I hope." Snape glared daggers at him. "Honestly I'm surprised it worked through the layers of grease." Snape's nostrils flared but he didn't make a move to fight. Instead Mulciber raised his wand, always one to fight to prove his own ability, or protect his cronies. Sirius stepped into a dueling stance, a piece of armor clattering away at his movement.

"Black." His adversary sneered, pointing his dark wand at Sirius's chest. The Gryffindor didn't move, or flinch, but continued to stare cheekily at the severe face of the other. Sirius knew he was in over his head when he had shot a plumage spell around the corner to a gathered group of Slytherins on his way back from the kitchen, but he didn't think they would chase him this far. He was amused when one of Mulciber's cronies spat out another mouthful of red and gold feathers. Mulciber looked over his shoulder at his coughing companion then back at Sirius, a new determination set on his face.

" _Alarte Ascendare_ " Mulciber shot. Sirius didn't bother with a shielding spell. He leaned lightly to the side and let the spell crash into the wall behind him sending sparks into the air. A terrified Duke in a portrait squealed and dove into a neighboring painting.

Next to Mulciber someone shot another spell. " _Calvario_ ".

Sirius angrily deflected this new attack, sending the spell into the ground before raising his wand at the fifth year who had sent it, and in the same tone his mother used when scolding him yelled, "Hey! None of that, you know the rules, no hair loss charms!" Sirius slipped the heavy bag off his shoulder, the bottles and bars of chocolate landing with a soft thud on the ground. He stepped forward menacingly. "Anyway, I had assumed we were long past silly games. Is this the best you have to offer?" Sirius gave the fifth year an unimpressed once over, before settling his attention back on Mulciber.

"Oh Sirius, if only we weren't on school grounds right now." Mulciber threatened smoothly.

"Is that what's stopping you?" A new voice asked. Sirius looked over his shoulder and smiled in delight as James rounded the corner stepping elegantly over the broken bits of armor. He tussled his hair nonchalantly and grinned at his best mate. Behind him Remus stalked out of the darkness, stuffing the marauders map into his cloak pocket, while Peter, smirking, followed. Off to the side an old wizard brewing a potion in a painting groaned and left the frame, knowing what was to come.

"How're the decorations coming James?" Sirius asked offhandedly. He propped and elbow onto the fifth year's shoulder with growing confidence.

"Wonderfully, but you were taking a bit too much time for my liking."

"Yeah, got a bit caught up." Sirius jerked his head at the Slytherins in explanation. He pulled his arm off the fifth year but stayed uncomfortably close to him. He sized him up like an afternoon snack then reached out to pull one of the boy's short curls with as much derision as he could muster. The Fifth year glared at him as Sirius let go and the curl sprang back into place. Sirius was just putting his arm down when the boy lurched back then took a swing at Sirius' face followed by bringing his wand up and screaming " _stupefy_ ". The stun missed as Sirius hit the floor and rolled. Without hesitation James petrified the boy before he could straighten up from his fight. Three wands were instantly pointed at Mulciber. The three remaining Slytherins held their wands aloft. Sirius regained his composure and lifted his wand making it four to four. Even odds.

James and Mulciber were seething, staring at one another; wands pointed at each other's chests. "Potter, this doesn't end well for you." Mulciber threatened.

"If that were the case, you'd have shot already." James countered. Sirius got to his feet and matched James's stance, a trickle of blood coming down the side of his face. Mulciber smirked looking for some way to provoke James into something.

"How's the crier?" he asked slyly, referring to Lily. James hissed in a breath, but Remus caught his wrist before he could strike.

"If we all leave now, we can spare ourselves having to explain anything to professors, or Filch. Call it a draw." Remus suggested, glancing at everyone in the hall in turn. The potion-brewing wizard cheered enthusiastically from next to unicorn in a painting down the hall. A few eyes flickered to the noise, but wands didn't move.

After several tense moments James broke the silence "Get out Mulciber?" He warned in a low voice. Mulciber moved in close to James's face and pointed his wand into James' neck, a threatening move he used often.

"Pity you have a collar on your boyfriend Jamie. Next time he may not be so lucky." James rolled his eyes at the weak threat and a few sparks flickered angrily out of Mulciber's wand flecking James' neck. In a valiant effort to not even wince at the small burns James watched Mulciber slowly lower his wand unbind the boy on the floor and drag him up by the scruff of his neck. Mulciber smirked as he turned. "See you all soon." He sang ominously into the dark hall. The Slytherins followed quietly behind.

As soon as they were around the far corner James' hand shot to his neck and a series of curses ran out of his mouth and into his cloak sleeve. Peter rushed forward lighting the tip of his wand, and with Remus they got James to stand up straight and take his hand away from his neck. Several red burns were bubbling his skin. Peter whistled at the look of them. "Magical injury, dittany might make a difference, aloe extract infused would be better. Pomfrey might have some." Peter rattled off.

"No. We've gotta get back to the Common Room, Lily'll be back any minute." James replied.

"Yeah, but it won't matter if you can't do anything fun because your neck looks like barbeque." Sirius pointed out walking into the light, his sleeve holding back the blood coming from above his left eye. Peter turned his attention to Sirius, letting James put his hand back on his neck before Remus pulled it off again and performed an icing spell.

"Jeeze Padfoot, you're gonna need a suturing spell." Peter whined looking at Sirius's head a little queasily. James squinted at his friend's forehead in the dim light. The injury slowly receded into shadow and James dragged Peter's wand closer once more, as the wand's owner looked resolutely at the far wall.

"Nice one Padfoot." James complimented.

Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, you know me." James touched the cut tentatively and Sirius winced.

"Damn! The kid punch you with a ring on?" James asked pulling his hand away.

"Probably. Wouldn't put it past a Slytherin to not fight fair." Sirius paused as James gingery touched the cut. "You should have cursed him when he called Lily that name though."

"Should have wiped his smug git face off the map." James agreed.

"Who even punches these day anyway?" Remus cut in before they could get into the nitty-gritty of their anger at the derogatory term. Criers, the Muggle-borns. They'd had so many funerals lately that the Slytherins had started calling them the Criers. A cruel term that was just another reminder of the letters written home every week by students to say, "I'm alive and I'm okay."

James shook his head at Remus's statement about throwing punches. They'd each been punched and thrown their fair share at Hogwarts, another strike was no surprise.

"I'll fix it. Hold still." James told Sirius, taking Peter's wrist and holding it so he had enough light. He pointed his own wand at Sirius's head and slowly sealed the cut. By the time he was done only a thin line and the blood remained. James stared at Sirius's face for a moment. "Lily's going to kill us." He realized.

"She is not. We show up like this all the time." Sirius pointed out as he tried to wipe away a layer of blood with his sleeve.

"Where's the stuff." James asked, and Sirius pointed at his bag at the foot of the crumbling suit of armor.

James checked the bag. Everything they would need and more was in it. "You're getting better at the bigger-on-the-inside spell." James smiled. Sirius bowed deeply at the compliment. Remus mumbled something under his breath as he and Peter magicked the suit back together. As soon as the head was reattached and began cursing them angrily they started back to the Common room.

"Moony, I think my neck is leaking." James whined feeling the thin layer of ice Remus had put on him melting into his shirt.

"Probably." Remus noted and James groaned knowing his friend would do nothing about it. Sirius tentatively poked his own forehead. Lily would probably not kill them, James tried to convince himself again.

"Sneezewort." Remus said as they neared the portrait of the fat lady, since James and Sirius were too busy comparing their incurred injuries to remember the password. Peter stepped through first followed by Remus and James. Sirius brought up the back carrying his bag of goods triumphantly.

"I have brought libations!" he declared to the room at large. Dozens of students from all years were standing in a confused silence. The common room was overly decorated with several zonkos whizzers charmed to spell "Happy Birthday Lily!" in multicolored sparks around the room, festive pointy hats, lilies James had ordered and several patches of balloons. "What? Is no one excited about this?" He asked disappointedly. Several people looked uncomfortable and eventually a small group near the fire place stepped aside to reveal Lily sitting on the edge of the coffee table, one leg crossed over the other and looking at her boys with a raised eyebrow. "Surprise!" Sirius tried.

"Surprise?" Lily smiled back. She looked over at James, and her bemusement turned to confusion. "You neck is melting." She stood up and walked over to him as people continued to mill about uncomfortably, unsure whether their Head Girl was going to send them all to bed early.

"Interesting actually. Remus said he could turn me into a popsicle, and I didn't believe him and now. . . Oh hey look at that!" James said turning Lily suddenly around and pointing to the fireplace where nothing spectacular was happening. Remus quickly unfroze his neck while Lily wasn't looking and Sirius _accio-ed_ a table to the center of the room where they were standing. Peter quickly decorated it with a few spells while Sirius began piling it with his kitchen findings. James spun Lily back around snuggling her tight under his arm and pointed to the now decorated coffee table. "Happy Birthday, darling." Lily stood dazed for a moment and on the verge of laugher. Then James added, "I got you something." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, finely decorated present.

Lily regained her footing, blinked at the new decorations then reached out slowly for the gift. "That's sweet" she cooed then caught something out of the corner of her eye, "And that's contraband." She added staring at the bottle of Watterman's finest Sparkling Blue Cider.

"But tasty." Sirius countered beginning to pour the blue shimmering liquid into glasses.

"And expensive." Peter muttered under his breath to Remus. Sirius poured four more glasses and handed them out. Lily took hers as the rest of the common room began to mumble amongst themselves, wondering if the marauders could once again turn the Head Girl to their side.

"To the finest lady in the room, may you have the most spelndiforous 18th birthday known to man and womankind." Sirius toasted with a wink.

"Well, it will be hard to match your slob fest last November, but we'll try." Lily said taking a deep breath, actively trying to turn off her desire to write everyone up. She turned to the room at large, where Gryffindors waited with baited breath, and raised her glass. "If I catch anyone under 17 drinking this stuff, I will send you to McGonagall before you can blame it on Sirius." She brought her glass down and sipped. It sparkled sweetly as it went down. Several people cheered and there was the sudden screech of a needle hitting the old phonograph machine before music kicked up. Lily couldn't help but grin, and Sirius gratefully added more sparkling cider to her glass.

James let her enjoy herself for a moment before nudging her to open her gift. Lily took a sip of her drink, set it down on the table and took a closer look at the box. Jewelry? It was long and skinny, a necklace? "Jut open it Lils, the box isn't all that impressive." James encouraged. The girl rolled her eyes just slightly and peeled back the layer of red paper to reveal the outside of a red velvet box. She shot James and unimpressed look but he just stayed staring at the gift nervously. Paper still half on Lily slowly opened the box revealing, to no ones surprise, a glittering charm attached to a glistening silver chain.

"It's a deer." Lily stated, confused.

"Stag." James corrected and slowly lifted the necklace from it's place. It sparkled neatly in his hand, and despite her confusion Lily found the charm beautiful and a little endearing. She looked uncertain but pulled her hair up to allow him to settle it around her neck. The three other marauders were watching her carefully. No one was drinking or smiling. Lily became suddenly more then unsettled, but tried to smile through it, pleased at James' choice in gifts.

"Why a stag then?" She asked trying to sound nonchalant about the sudden quiet.

James didn't pull himself together well enough to answer. "Well" He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. He looked to the others.

"Tomorrow?" Remus asked. The marauders seemed to agree enthusiastically with their eyes and Remus and Sirius leapt for the food table. "More food anyone?" They announced, handing around Honeydukes chocolate and Bertie Botts' Beans. Lily watched the boys scramble, surprised at their nerves.

"It's prongs." She stated trying to get in on what was going on. The group stopped moving. "What?" She asked in confusion. "You guys call each other by those silly nicknames all the time. So, it's a deer, like a stag or something." Sirius looked at Remus who glanced back at Peter who shrugged.

"Exactly" James finally exclaimed putting his arm around his girl and leading her over to the couches where a few of the Gryffindor seventh year girls were sitting, chatting up a storm.

After placing a drink in Remus's hand Sirius wandered to the phonograph and flipped on a few tunes. Remus considered the drink for a moment, then his homework, and finally swallowed it back before he and Peter delved into another round of who-will-lose-their virginity first. Peter had already lost, but Remus hadn't worked up the nerve to tell him yet.

The party was taking off. Dancing had started by the phonograph machine, charmed so the records wouldn't skip on the shaking floor. There was poker being played by the fire, and a few first years had cobbled together a makeshift version of bowling by the entryway while at least one couple had found a back corner in which to snog.

Sirius flung another record onto the phonograph before stumbling over to the coffee table. Because the party was going so swimmingly, he was smugger than usual. He waved off a sixth year girl with a peck on the cheek and casually slipped onto the coffee table in front of Lily who had just started ignoring Lucy and Loretta's conversation about him. He smiled charmingly at them before turning his attention to Lily. He was about to start asking her about her friends when she cut in.

"Who broke your face?" She asked touching her thumb to his forehead.

"Would you believe I walked into a low hanging doorway?"

"No, because James looks like he's been hit with a sparking spell in prime snogging territory."

Sirius smirked but didn't say anything to give himself away.

"You guys have got to be careful! Your hallway fights aren't going to be games in a few months. We're graduating in July." Lily explained for the hundredth time, worry wrapped around her words.

"and you're getting too serious for your own good on your 18th birthday, no thinking about bad things until tomorrow morning." Sirius chided. "Only fun things."

He fumbled around behind him for a cracker that had been leftover from New Years and pulled its string. Sparks and a hat with the number '78 atop exploded out of the end. He placed it on his head, and Lily's friends giggled as he winked at them.

"So you'll let me worry tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow, when we're all good and hungover. Moony!" Sirius exclaimed as the scruffy brown haired boy stumbled into the coffee table. He grimaced rubbing his shin as he sat down heavily. "Ima take that." Sirius said taking Remus's drink out of his hand and finishing it off for him.

"I think Jeanie likes Peter more than me, how did that happen?" He hiccupped.

"You keep your face in your stupid NEWT notes, how's anyone s'possed to like you?" Sirius said, giggling at his alliteration "NEWT notes" he laughed.

Remus tried to make a face at Sirius who was looking to the back corner of the room where Peter was smiling as Jeanie Johnson whispered something in his ear.

"Hey Remus?" Lily started leaning forward off the couch toward him. Remus looked up at her with his silver-grey eyes. "I need your help with something."

"Wazthat?" He asked leaning forward conspiratorially.

"I want to make a patronus." Remus gave her a look as if he had never heard such an odd thing.

"Right now?" he wondered.

"No stupid, like tomorrow or something. I need it." Remus finally dropped his confused look and shrugged. "Awesome, wait, how do _you_ not know how to do that?" Remus asked and Sirius slapped the back of his head.

"No wonder you can't get a girl, acting like that."

"I don't want _that_ girl." Remus replied motioning to Lily. "Not that you're not lovely." He slurred placing a hand drunkenly on her knee. "Prong's already got her!" Sirius looked at him as if he were an idiot. "And Wormtail's got Jeanie, sooo. . ." Remus and Sirius stared at each other for several seconds. "Patronus" Remus said to Lily realizing Sirius wasn't going to respond. He shot her a thumbs-up before getting up from the coffee table and fumbling off. He made it around the couch before the portrait-hole swung open and the room got eerily silent at the sight of Professor McGonagall.

Lily shot to her feet and within seconds James was by her side ready to take the blame for the party. The professor was in her nightgown, a blue cloak wrapped around her shoulders. Lily's stomach was sinking and her face began to burn red.

McGonagall's eyes scanned the room, it was as if she were counting, eventually her eyes bounced back to James and to everyone's surprise she asked, "Where's Peter?" James's eyebrows shot up but off to the side a sixth-year's finger pointed straight to the back corner. A few people shuffled to the side and Peter got clumsily to his feet, looking guilty.

"Oh thank heavens. Is anyone else out?" She asked the Head Boy and Girl. Peter looked briefly confused as the others looked at each other, racking their brains. Lily's jaw dropped in confusion.

James glanced hurriedly around the room "Harriet." He noted. "She has a Ravenclaw boyfriend."

"I'll check the dorms." A female voice called from the back. James recognized it as belonging to the fifth year prefect Jane Hart. He looked over to his left. "Martin go look for Lawrence and Jones. Check the rest of the dorms." James jerked his head to a boy near the stairs and before he knew it the boy had scampered up them in search of the few possibly missing Gryffindors.

"What's going on?" Lily finally asked the professor. She crossed her arms nervously over her chest and waited for McGonagall to collect herself.

"A family outside Hogsmeade was attacked. There are few details, but the mark was sent into the air about ten minutes ago." Several heads spun to look for a window. A couple who had been sitting on the couch nearest the Hogsmeade facing window got up and pulled the curtains back. They pressed their faces against the glass then stepped back with a gasp, their faces suddenly pale and sickly. Eyes were immediately upon their Head of House, a group shiver passing around.

"Lawrence, Jones, all the first years except Tony, some of the second years, and Tobias are in the dorms. " Martin announced leaning over the banister to the boys' dorms and reporting back to James. Remus and Sirius stumbled onto a coffee table in the back of the room and began counting heads. In the past year the marauders, in attempt to help Lily and James, had memorized each member of Gryffindor house. In a pinch they could name them all, but most of the time a head count sufficed. Several attacks and even more scares the previous year had put them into action. Lily's worrying had solidified the need.

"That's all the guys. Tim was up there?" Sirius clarified.

"The second year?" Martin answered and nodded. Seconds later the fifth year prefect slid to the end of the girls' hall "I don't see Harriet or Midge!" She called down. The marauders shared several looks before all turning to look at McGonagall.

"Where would she most likely be?" The professor asked. Sirius ran a hand through his hair, thinking.

"Behind the third floor tapestry." A voice called out. The secret passage usually reserved for quick snogs between classes must have doubled for a rendezvous point.

"And Midge is probably still in the library." Someone else noted.

Sirius was counting on his fingers, while next to him Remus decided "that would be everyone for the girls." He held up a questionable number of fingers, but Lily and James trusted his count.

"I will be back. All of you stay put." McGonagall stated plainly with a special look reserved for the seventh-year boys. Remus gave her two thumbs up. None of them had any intention of sneaking out. As soon as the portrait swung shut behind her everyone turned to James and Lily in the center of the room. Somewhere by Peter's couch there was the clatter of a chess piece falling to the floor as he stepped around the coffee table, but that was the only sound in the room.

"Okay, we stay here tonight." James started, unsure of what other directions to give.

"I. . . I think, we have to call it a night." Lily added and even Sirius didn't pose an argument. Instead he stepped off the coffee table then helped a stumbling Remus down as well.

"You really can't hold your liquor." The darker-haired boy noted under his breath.

"I drank more than you." Remus mumbled back slipping sideways into his fellow marauder. Sirius steered him into the center of the room where Peter was already staring at James and Lily nervously. Around them people began to pick up empty wrappers and bottles and stumble off to bed. Sirius pointed his wand at a fifth year who was trying to walk off with the cider, and he set it back down nervously.

When the room was mostly clear Remus bent forward resting his hand on his knees. "Merlin's beard, that's the…" He held four fingers into the air before his mouth could catch up. "Fourth attack this week." He said, standing up straighter.

"It's Monday Rem." Sirius pointed out quietly. Remus stood up straighter and looked at him through somewhat swimming vision.

"Fine, fourth one since." He paused and made a forward spinning motion with his finger in front of his face, a marauder code for a moon cycle. "Thing." He finished tiredly. Peter patted his friend conciliatorily on the back.

"Who do you think was attacked?" James asked.

"There are a few outspoken families in Hogsmeade, none of them would be out of the question. Pratts, Wartons, Marks." Sirius listed off the few families he knew of. No one else could add to the list.

"I can't believe this happened again!" James interlaced his fingers together on top of his head and looked up at the ceiling, exasperated. "Again? How many more before we all get our act together, and just go beat him down, really? How many?" He spat out bringing his hands down aggressively. Remus leaned into Peter. They were all watching James, knowing how he felt, and unable to dissuade any of his hopelessness.

"We would need an army." Sirius explained.

"Then we should get an army!" James argued.

"Maybe there is one, we just don't know about it." Lily interjected. She had taken a step away from the group and was leaning against the back of a red couch, staring at the ground. She still had her arms crossed over her chest, closed off and tired.

"Why would they be hiding? They should be out on the street recruiting." James growled.

"To protect their identity." Peter tried to reason. "If your family dies for what you believe, you're certainly going to want to hide your involvement." Peter glanced at Lily for a moment expecting her to add something, but she didn't say a word.

"We'll make one then, if there's not one already. We'll make an army and fight, won't we?" James looked at each of the marauders, his voice strong but pleading.

"'course we will." Sirius stated after a moment, as if he hadn't already told James this a million times. "Someone's gotta take down the bastard."

"Yeah, 'course we will." Peter echoed quietly.

"I, for one, would like to-" Remus managed to fish his wand out of his sleeve where he kept it and wobbly pointed it at a place behind James, "personally stun that son-of-a-gun to hades and back."

Lily grinned sadly, her eyes still on the floor. She knew exactly how they would fight.

"It's settled then." James declared. "We'll fight." Though this attack had only been the last of a string of them, James sounded like a weight the size of the Ministry of Magic had been lifted off of his shoulders. The marauders would fight. When it came down to it the Marauders were not going to turn tail and run like the rest of the wizards and witches of Britain, they would fight.


	2. Chapter 2: Patronuses

_A/N I thought I would get these first few chapters up pretty quickly, but the next chapter will probably not be up until late this week or next._

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Patronuses**

Breakfast the next morning was subdued. Everyone was there, waiting for Dumbledore to speak and expecting an owl from home with worry written all over it. Several students were finishing letters to their parents to send back. Two more students were to leave for home that day. There was worry and anticipation in the room, but relief as well. Hogwarts was still safe, and no ones' immediate family had been attacked.

James and Sirius were tearing through their Daily Prophet for details of the attack, just as many other students were tearing through theirs. There was no good news to report. It was an older couple, normally unattached to politics who had died. They had invited muggle relatives over for a short, carefree weekend visit, but instead the auror department had removed four bodies from the house that morning.

"Disgusting" Sirius hissed under his breath. "For having family over? How did they even know? Why would they give a damn about somebody's private life?" Everyone in Sirius's vicinity knew the answer; Sirius knew it better than most, blood purity, mingling with lesser beings. No one answered him.

Across the table Peter was writing furiously to his mother, his forehead creased with worry. He sealed the letter twenty minutes before the first classes of the day were to start, and just as Dumbledore finally rose to his feet.

"Good morning students, and what a morning it is." For a brief moment Dumbledore's eyes wandered to the ceiling where blue skies and a rare winter sun glinted off to one side. "I, as well as many of you, have been shaken by recent events. Let me assure you that within Hogwarts bounds you are quite safe, and with this let me also remind you that that protection extends only to the ends of our grounds. It would be wise not to venture further out." The marauders waited for the man's eyes to creep past their table before they looked up again.

"And therefore, I am most sorry to inform you that myself, and several other staff members here, believe it is within everyone's best interest to cancel the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend." There was general moaning across the hall. James looked to his left, Sirius was grumbling and leaning back in his chair, surely, like himself, planning their next, non-school-sponsored trip to Hogsmeade. Peter and Remus may not have even heard the news as Peter was trying to tie the note to his mother's grey owl and Remus was checking over a Potions essay. Across from him, Lily may have been the only person in the room smiling.

"Wonderful."

James looked at her, baffled and a little hurt. "Lily! We had a date! We had a date scheduled for that outing!"

Lily looked at him apologetically. "I know, I just. This will give me more of chance to keep up with NEWT work and it'll also give Remus a chance to teach me how to do the patronus charm." She looked to her right to Remus. James shot him an annoyed look.

"I guess that will work, it's not like I'm doing anything else now." Remus answered not looking up and putting a final touch on his essay.

James turned to gape at Lily. "Really? You'd rather spend the day studying than eating a meal with me at Puddyfoots?"

Lily shrugged. "It's not like we have a choice. It's not like we're going to sneak out to go there." She said matter-of-factly then gave James a meaningful we-are-not-sneaking-out look before rising from the table.

"Wait, when did Remus agree to teach you to make a patronus, and not us?" Sirius asked letting the front two legs of his chair fall back to the ground.

Remus gathered up his things for class. "Last night Padfoot, you were there." he reminded.

"How do you remember that, you were sloshed?"

"I wasn't, and anyway I have very good memory when I'm not at 100%" Remus said pointedly while standing up and gathering his things. He and Lily left the great hall heading for class and leaving James, Sirius, and Peter alone to think about their impending weekend and how they would be seemingly trapped on school grounds.

* * *

Time, as it always did, flickered on without care for the petty atrocities happening among the living, and the students carried on for there were classes to attend, notes to take, homework to finish, meals to eat, and late night detentions to serve. James and Sirius, not unusually, were expected in separate ones. They took their two-way mirrors, tucked away in their pockets, and as James scrubbed the floors of the potions classroom on his hands and knees and Sirius de-bugged the closets on the first floor they chatted.

The task favored James and he finished early heading back to the tower and when Sirius finally finished he stowed his mirror and headed back himself.

The hallways were quiet that evening but not deserted. Mixed house couples were sneaking off to slide behind tapestries, late night studiers were stumbling back from the library hidden behind the bindings of books. Sirius smiled at passing girls and got a few interested smiles in return, but nothing came of it. He was splotched in insect juice, smelled of acid stinkbugs, and was altogether not at his most attractive.

He whistled as he rounded the corner to at the top of the marble staircase, light hearted about his night of freedom, but was thrown off as he ran headfirst into a thin framed, black-headed student. The boy's books went flying out of his arms and he immediately dove for them. Their covers, Sirius noted, were dark and printed with skulls and cauldrons.

"Regulus?" Sirius said surprised, as the boy restacked the books and stood back up, staggering under their weight. The boy tried to hold a confident pose under his older brother's stare.

"Hello Sirius- Oh god what is that?" He asked backing up suddenly and waving his hand in the air as if something reeked. It did.

"Stink-bug I believe. Isn't it lovely? The fresh sent of a detention well spent, don't you think?" He replied, wafting the scent toward his brother.

"It's gross, go change." Regulus said pulling the collar of his shirt up over his nose.

"I was just heading there, but I thought I might knock your enlightening literature out of your arms first." Sirius said stepping forward and pulling the top book off Regulus's stack. " _Insipid Poisons and How to Brew Them_ " Sirius read the title. "Did you get this from the restricted section?"

"No." Regulus replied a little too quickly. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Regulus let his shirt fall from his face. "Why should that even matter?" he coughed at the scent of bugs hitting his nose again.

"Listen, I don't mean to ditch, but can I please have that back, I have a thing to get to." Regulus said reaching out for the book.

"A Death Eater meeting?" Sirius asked holding the book out of his brother's reach. He was delighted to find he still had a few inches on the smaller boy. Sirius considered flipping through the book to see what his brother was up to, but the cover reminded him of home, and honestly, it was making him a bit sick. He handed the book back to his brother holding onto just the corner as if it were covered in the nasty bug stink instead of himself. Regulus took the book lightly from his brother and set it upon the stack, but he didn't scamper off.

"Hey Sirius?" Regulus began, sounding solemn suddenly.

"Yes, dear brother." Sirius replied sarcastically, trying not to sound intrigued.

"I was just wondering if you still had the family tree broach? You wore it when you stormed out of the house." Regulus looked nervous. He and Sirius didn't speak much, and certainly not about the day Sirius had left.

Sirius scoffed, he had hoped his brother was about to ask him about something important. No, instead he was just interested in a family heirloom; worried his older brother would mock him for asking for it.

"What would you want with that?" Sirius grumbled, not sure he hadn't chucked the broach out of the Potter's third floor window.

"I could use it for a meeting." Regulus said, not saying what meeting it was for.

"What, so you can prove you're from the Noble and Most Asshole Family Black?" Sirius bit. Regulus shrugged. Guilty, Sirius decided. He briefly considered explaining to Regulus again just what he was getting into, but it wouldn't work, it never did. Instead Sirius glared up at the expansive ceiling. "I'll look." he agreed, walking past his brother, making certain to hit him hard in the shoulder as he passed.

A broach, his brother wanted a broach so he could prove he was a Black to his Death Eater friends. This bothered Sirius much more than he thought it would.

He reached the Gryffindor common room in a huff. There Peter and Remus were entrenched in a game of Wizard's Chess. James had pulled out his notebook where he kept his best schemes and was pouring over it thoughtfully. "Sirius take over for me?" Remus asked getting to his feet and looking over to the women's dorms.

"Date?"

"I've got Prefect duty," He explained. Sirius looked behind him. Lily was just coming down the stairs, her hair pulled back in a no-nonsense bun, and her head-girl badge pinned threateningly onto her robes.

"Sure." Sirius agreed dryly, while Remus smiled jovially at Lily and followed her out to the hall. He could hear Lily dive into an explanation of a book she had just finished and couldn't help but laugh at the pair. He turned back to James and Peter and noticed with surprise that James was also watching the pair, but not with amusement.

"What's got you so pissy?" Sirius asked sitting in Remus's abandoned spot at James's feet.

"Nothing. You?"

"Reg."

"Prick." They finished together. Despite everything, James was still the only person allowed to call Regulus that particular name. To everyone's surprise Sirius had hexed off a Ravenclaw's eyebrows the previous year after she called Regulus a good-for-nothing nutter. His reasoning was hard to explain, especially to James, but he'd been raised with the idiot, and up until five minutes ago he thought there might still be hope to win him over to their side. "What are you planning?" Sirius asked James, trying to distract himself from his brother's request.

"Date with Lily." Peter answered for him, making a move on the board. Sirius smirked and James kicked Peter lightly in the side.

"I want to do something special for her. I'm also trying to figure out an army." James said tilting his notebook to the side so he could better see his war plans scrawled sideways across the paper.

"We'll figure something out James, just give it time." Sirius replied scrunching his face and countering Peter's move. "Let's just enjoy being seventh-years first."

James shrugged half-heartedly then began sniffing the air. "What is that?" He asked making a face.

"Bug juice, mate."

"Gross!" James' face matched his words, and instead of leaving to shower Sirius pulled his robe off over his head, leaving himself standing in just his boxers and a t-shirt, before beginning to try and smother James with the garb. The other marauder retaliated by kicking, and soon Sirius and James were on the floor swearing and wrestling until the chess game was knocked over and forgotten, as well as the broach, and the war.

* * *

Besides the occasional profit article, or side conversation in the hallway the week passed without news about the Hogsmeade attack, but the week wasn't completely uneventful. To Lily's derision James and Sirius managed to stick all of Severus's books to the ceiling of the potions classroom. Remus found several more books to help prepare them for NEWTs, and Peter managed to survive one meal with Jeanie before she inevitably found conversation with a Hufflepuff more enlightening.

Peter sulked back to their section of the dinner table Friday night with a disappointed, drooping face. He plopped himself into an open seat next to Sirius and pulled the whole serving bowl of mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"Lost her already then?" Sirius asked consolingly. Peter nodded and used the serving spoon to bring a large portion of potatoes to his mouth. "She doesn't know what she's missing mate." Sirius tried to encourage. "Just think she's over there now, with some Hufflepuff kid, probably getting her ears talked off about ink. . or something."

"Probably the proper method to clean silverware." Remus tried.

"Cleaning. . . Only thing Hufflepuffs get jobs in anyway." Sirius agreed.

"Their first date's probably going to be homework." James added. "Which isn't a real date." he added as an aside to Remus. "Look at it this way, she's probably going to be miserable with him." Peter was the one who looked miserable though. No one pointed out that Jeanie was leaning halfway across the Hufflepuff table, very much interested in quidditch captain Gregory Aldricks's chiseled jaw.

"I don't want her to be miserable." Peter replied through a mouthful of potatoes. Sirius sighed.

"That's no way to be, you should want her to be at least as miserable as you."

"That's because you're terrible person Padfoot." Remus pointed out. Sirius faked offense and pressed his hand against his heart.

"Moony you destroy me."

"Someone has to." He said leaning over to fish a book out of his bag. Sirius turned back to Peter.

"Look Wormy. We have all weekend to do something fun. Dealer's choice, what do you wanna do?" Peter looked into his dinner.

"Eat."

James and Sirius rolled their eyes.

"No, something actually fun, not something girls do." Sirius explained taking the bowl of potatoes off Peter's plate and setting it in front of a group of staring sixth-year girls who made their disgust obvious.

"We could sneak off somewhere." Sirius said conspiratorially.

"We're not supposed to." Peter reminded, and to this both James and Sirius threw their hands in the air.

"There are laws higher than _shouldn't!_ " Sirius exclaimed.

"Like cheering up a bloke, who just lost his girl to an idiot." James reminded "At least go to the pitch with us tomorrow." He added after a pause.

"Yeah, James and I were gonna practice faking. You can ride his Nimbus around the pitch." Sirius encouraged. Peter shrugged. "We're not letting you mope, so we'll see you down at the pitch at nine tomorrow." James elbowed Sirius. "Ten, ouch, noon, we'll see you at noon. Prongs and I are going on a bender tonight because he doesn't have duty this weekend so we're gonna need to sleep that off, so noon." Sirius explained.

"Moony you coming?" James asked. Remus mumbled something from behind a book on ancient Runes.

"Moony we can't hear you when you've glued yourself into the binding of a book." Sirius said in a way that reminded James of his mother. Sirius reached across the table and lowered the book out of Remus face.

"I'm teaching Lils how to do a patronus tomorrow." He said closing his book and rubbing his bloodshot eyes. James squinted at his use of Lily's nickname, but didn't say anything.

"You're letting these NEWTs kill you mate, you should go play quidditch with us." Sirius insisted.

"I promised her."

"Fair enough, why don't we play quidditch and then you can teach all of us the patronus-thingy afterward?" James bargained. Remus's eyes bounced between his friends.

"Lily actually _wants_ to learn how to do this. I don't want her to be all messed up because you lot are acting like. . . .you lot."

"We won't act like ourselves, we'll act like yourselves." Sirius explained.

"Positively Prefect-like." James beamed.

"Knowing the patronus charm for the NEWTs wouldn't hurt." Peter stated uncertainly.

"You can come if you'll take it seriously." Remus conceded.

"So you'll come play quidditch?" James said.

Remus squinted at him "I don't think I agreed to do that."

"We're meeting at noon, we can do your thing at like-"

"Three –ish. Three work for you Prongs?"

"Works for me. Three it is." James and Sirius smiled at Remus, rather happy with themselves. Remus forked his last bite of desert grumpily and opened his book back up.

* * *

Lily was just beginning to get annoyed when not only Remus, but James, Sirius, and Peter tromped into the charms classroom twenty minutes late. They were sniffling, red from the cold, sweaty, dirty and carrying brooms. "Really?" She grumbled as James and Sirius laughed and started peeling off layers of winter clothing leaving them strewn on the classroom floor. Remus sat down before taking off his ratty hat and gloves a light smile dancing on his face.

"Sorry about that, it was a close game and someone had to win legitimately or we'd have to hear about it for the next week." Remus apologized nodding accusingly at James and Sirius who were mock shoving each other while trying to take off mud-caked boots.

"So Patronuses." Remus tried to jump in, pulling his coat off and standing back up. He rubbed his hands together and turned slowly, evaluating the space they were in; the usual charms classroom, with the raised seating around the edges. He decided, arbitrarily on the side of the room closest to the door and had them line up.

"This is a charm, used mainly for the defense against dementors." Remus began.

"We know what it is Professor Moony, just get on with it." Sirius reminded motioning for Remus to hurry up.

Remus coughed and jumped ahead. "Okay, so it's mostly a positive force of good, that-" Sirius motioned again, and Remus glowered at him. "So you'll need two things. One, the incantation and the right wand movements, obviously, but you'll also need the positive force, the good energy." James and Sirius snorted in disbelief.

"We just have to have a happy thought?" James asked.

"Like Stephanie Wilson?" Sirius winked, leaning on James shoulder as they continued to chortle.

"Like a really good one or you're gonna get kissed by a dementor, and no one wants that." Remus replied annoyed, then smoothly turned to the front of the class.

He breathed in then bellowed " _Expecto patronum!_ " James and Sirius's smirks dropped as a large wolf stormed from the tip of Remus's wand and skittered to a stop. With a nudge from Remus's wand it began to scamper around the classroom.

Remus's concentration was fully on holding the charm steady but as the wolf dashed around stopping to sniff Sirius Remus noticed how white his friend's face had become and before he could stop it the patronus flickered away in a puff of worry. There was a short moment of pause before Lily "wowed", and the marauders were drawn back into the charms room and away from thoughts of full moons.

Sirius and James stood straighter in their short line up. "A happy thought." Remus reiterated a little nervously. "And ' _expecto patronum'"._

Everyone mumbled it with him a few times and practiced the wand movements. Remus listened in on each person's repeat correcting Peter's _"patronus"_ with _"patronum",_ then told them once again to find a truly, unquestionably happy thought to fully concentrate on, then let them give it a try. Within three tries they had each produced a puff of smoke and James had gone so far as to have something that resembled an animal. After some more concentration and attempts with different happy thoughts James stopped them.

"We need to practice this with an actual dementor though? Right? Doing this now is all well and good, but you can't do this with a dementor actually breathing down your neck, can you?" Remus had to admit he had never tried it in such a dire situation. He shrugged.

"Where would we get a dementor?" Peter queried.

"Dunno. I'm just saying." James said spinning his wand between his fingers nonchalantly.

"You make a good point, but maybe you should actually get a patronus before you worry about facing down dementors?" Remus reminded then tried to turn back to their practice.

Sirius had just gotten an almost dog-like creature by the time they broke for dinner.

Afterward, Sirius, James and Peter elected to head back to the dorms to shower instead of continuing on with patronus lessons. James, at least, suspected he could have the charm down by the following weekend if he tried. Sirius just wanted to get the mud out of his ears, and Peter looked ready to fall asleep where he stood. Lily and Remus waved the three away as they continued back to the charms classroom.

"What do you think your patronus is going to be?" Remus asked glancing to Lily as they trudged up a flight of stairs.

She shrugged, "Yours was a wolf?" She asked, and Remus immediately regretted asking the question. He should have guessed it would lead back to his.

"Yeah, a wolf." He mumbled trying to find something else to say. "Did you hear about the French Minister denying asylum to those three half-blood families?" Remus asked suddenly. Lily shook her head. "Oh" Remus mumbled, they had gotten to the door of the charms classroom. He held the door open for Lily as they crossed into the room. "So you want to try it a few more times?" He asked.

Lily nodded with a smile, "I think I just need to find a really happy thought." She said, and she appeared to be thinking. Her head was tilted slightly to the side as if something was coming to her. "What was James's patronus again?" She asked. Remus didn't need to think hard about the answer, despite James's patronus never being full formed.

"A stag." He replied.

Lily smiled a little then prepared herself to repeat the incantation. " _Expecto patronum_ " she said clearly, and this time the puff of smoke from her wand almost took a form; four legs and smooth brown-tinged skin. Remus smiled brightly at the sight of it. The head girl tried to keep the form, but in her surprise at it having a form she became distracted and it fizzled quickly. "Wow!" She smiled delightedly. "That was-"

"It was a doe." Remus laughed. "You made a doe." He repeated looking at her a little oddly now. Lily was still staring eagerly at the place where the creature had just been.

"Wow." She whispered, as she moved to try it again, but she stopped when Remus's smiled faltered and he suddenly looked at her rather intently.

"You really like James don't you? You like him- for like the long haul?" Remus asked. He didn't blink and his stare didn't waver. Lily suddenly felt a pressing weight on her chest. She wasn't sure about Remus. There had always been something about him, but he had never made a move, and she had never wanted to, and then she fell for James. Fell hard. Eventually she nodded.

"Yes. I think I am." She whispered.

Something seemed to be halting behind Remus's eyes and Lily stumbled to fix whatever was going on. "I know. I know we-" She wasn't sure what to say to comfort him. "I know we have a history. We are both prefects, and you always seemed nicer than, well. . . and I know we've been studying together a lot this semester. It's just, we're good friends. Not . . " Remus didn't seem to be reacting to her words. He seemed lost in his own thoughts and just as she began to worry that he would do something completely out of character, he did.

"Lily I'm a werewolf." Remus told her in one breath, completely cutting off her rambling.

Lily's hands shot to her mouth and she involuntarily took a step back. Her brain was at war with itself. Severus's words, and pictures from Defense Against the Dark Arts, all juxtaposed against the boy who stood in front of her, one hand reaching out placating, pleading with her to stay calm, to stay put. He pulled out his wand and locked the door to the charms room nervously. Lily twitched at the sound of the lock clicking and Remus immediately sound proofed the room. A spell he could do without words.

When he finished the spell he looked at her with panic written on every line of his face. "That's why, that's what's. . " Remus tried to explain, but no words seemed right. "The necklace. We'll that's really James' story. . . Gah! I should have waited." Remus took panicked breaths and stepped away. "Dammit. I'm so sorry. I should have waited for Peter and James and Sirius before I told you. Lily. I'm so sorry." He stuttered.

Lily tried to shake out her hands, shake the confusion out of her head. She tried to run the last couple of sentences out of her head. Impossible. Her heart was beating as fast as her mind was reeling. _Werewolf._ There was nothing wolf-like about Remus Lupin. Not a sneer, not a curse, barely a word out of place, nothing but his name. "I'm so sorry." He repeated. She wanted to yell at him to shut up, wanted to call him a liar. She wanted to be mad at him for telling her this now, or for not saying something sooner, not saying something before she had the chance to get to know him. Before she cared about him so much.

Remus had slowly backed up to stand next to his pile of clothes draped over a chair. He looked more nervous than she had ever seen him in her life. _Werewolf._ Her brain reminded her. After several moments of breathing and shaking her head she managed to squeak out. "Not a prank." Remus shook his head sadly. "No, no, not a prank." Lily internalized, not sure if she was relieved or not. Her brain considered running from the room, but her legs didn't seem ready to comply. Nothing coherent came to her for several minutes.

To Remus it felt like hours. He shouldn't have told her, not here, not now. But he felt that if he hadn't spat it out at that second it would have never come out. He and the marauders would have gone to their graves, Lily's next to James's, keeping his secret from her. Now he had to comfort himself with the fact that she hadn't run.

When she still didn't speak he felt like he needed to get the most important information off his chest. "Lily this is a huge secret. You can't tell anyone." Once again she shook her head, looking as if she were trying to keep tears from forming in her eyes. He didn't know what the headshake meant. "You don't ever have to talk to me again after today. You can forget I exist. I'll leave you alone, whatever, I don't care." He pleaded. Lily's hand went back to her mouth. "I won't even sit with the guys, you can, you can have them." He choked out, trying not to think about the consequences of that promise, but he would give the world for her not to tell. He had five months left until graduation, something no werewolf had yet achieved and he would fight for it. But still the sound of this bargain rang hollow in his chest. "Lily please, don't tell."

Slowly she dropped her hands. She took in a deep, shuddering breath. Tears were now openly falling down her cheeks. "Lily?"

"Won't tell." She hiccupped through a sob looking directly at Remus for the first time since he had spat out the truth. Bright green eyes meeting grey, but the broken sincerity in his was like a punch to the gut. "Promise." She added as another stream of tears trickled down her cheeks and she had to look away.

She was sad for him. After everything she had felt she realized beneath it all she was hopelessly sad, and she didn't know what to do about it. Suddenly his poverty, ripped clothes, the patronus, his self-deprecating humor, maybe even his days in the hospital wing made sense, and it hurt. More than the anger at him for not telling her, or the fear, or the nerves, she was sad.

"Why?" She finally whispered.

Remus stood his ground on the far side of the room. She still hadn't fled. Carefully he started, "It was a werewolf, I don't know who. They were probably unlucky, just like me. I was young, and it just happened."

"No." Lily tried to explain what she was really asking. "Why you?"

Remus didn't know how to respond. What _did_ she mean? Remus couldn't think of what to do. She was crying so much. Should he reach out, hug her? James would hug her, of course he couldn't do that, especially now. He flustered next to his discarded winter clothes.

Lily looked around the room nervously for several seconds, pictures of claws, matted fur, screaming faces, and blood flashed across her memory until she couldn't stand to be in the charms room any longer. "I need to, um. I have to. . .go." She said turning and making sure she had everything she needed in her schoolbag before rushing out the door, Remus unlocking it with a flick of his wrist. Then he was left standing stunned as she raced back up to the common room.

She wasn't sure where she was going until she was standing, shivering in front of a clean and fresh smelling James Potter. He sat in his favorite chair in the back "plotting" corner of the common room.

"Lils?" He jerked, looking up at her from his quidditch strategy book where he was scratching notes. He stood quickly and rested his warm hands on her shaking forearms.

"Remus." She whispered, feeling tears burning in her eyes again, she sniffled. She was never a graceful crier. She looked James seriously in the eyes, and he guessed what had happened. The marauders had talked about it but Remus had jumped in without them. He internally cursed his friend. This was unexpected; it wasn't how this was supposed to go.

James sat back down on the large chair and pulled Lily into his lap. She curled into him, not saying a word. He wrapped his arms around her, kissed her warm hair and waited as she cried. "It's okay, I promise it's okay. It's still just Remus." He reminded her softly in her ear.

Lily's crying slowed and Sirius stumbled down the stairs still drying his hair on an ex-girlfriend's fluffy pink towel. He caught James's eye and his friend jerked his head to the door. Sirius mouthed "PMS?" James rolled his eyes and jerked his head to the door again. Sirius raised his eyebrows and James made his best werewolf face impression and jerked his head toward the door again. Sirius's eyes got wide and he looked at Lily then the door as if expecting to see Remus standing there in full werewolf form. Instead two giggling second years slipped through the portrait hole and scrambled for an empty couch in the corner. Sirius ruffled his hair and wandered back up to the dorm room. In a minute he was clambering back down the stairs pulling on shoes. "Pete's in the shower, send him after me when he's out, yeah?" Sirius asked as he wandered to the door. James nodded and ran his hand through Lily's red hair comfortingly.

"I promise it's going to be okay." James reminded again. Lily nodded into his shirt. She was breathing steadily again. She had cried herself out.

"Merlin." She said pushing herself away from his chest and staring at the tearstains darkening his grey Mooning the Centaurs band t-shirt. "He's okay?" She asked shutting her eyes from the post-crying headache she could feel coming on.

James nodded. "He's fine, he's just a little… off on the full moons."

Lily nodded slowly.

"How did you not tell me this earlier?" She asked, but before James could come up with something Lily answered herself. "I know. It's a secret." She said letting out a breath and opening her eyes to look at James. "You were going to tell me on my birthday?" She realized reaching up for the deer necklace around her neck and thinking about their nicknames.

"Yeah." James said briefly glancing at Lily's fingers wrapping around the silver chain and following their path down to the charm dangling from the end.

"What's with the deer then?" She asked.

James sat up straighter, bringing Lily with him. They readjusted as James glanced around for possible eavesdroppers. "We figured something out fifth year" he started, "that's prongs" he pointed to her necklace. He continued with the story glancing around as he went on to tell her of the marauder's greatest achievement yet.

* * *

Remus wasn't in the Charms classroom, and his discarded winter clothes had similarly disappeared, but James would have seen him if he had come into the common room, Sirius thought to himself. So where would he be?

He grumbled internally as he headed toward the library, the other boy's home-away-from-home. The idiot had told Lily without them! Sirius wondered what else he had told her, if anything. If "werewolf" was his opening act it didn't seem like there would have been much time afterward to break the news about the map or the invisibility cloak. He hoped Peter would be smart enough to grab the map before looking for them, because if Sirius had his way he was dragging Remus to the kitchen for chocolate cake, and Peter would be scouring the castle for hours looking for them.

The library was quiet and almost empty when he arrived. Nervous fifth-years hovered around tables and whispered about OWLS, but other students were in their common rooms enjoying their Saturday night. The librarian, an old man already in his striped pajamas, was snoring behind the desk.

Sirius didn't find Remus at his usual table, but did find a pile of his winter clothes. He picked up the boys faded Gryffindor hat that must have been second hand when he got it. He sighed and set it atop the pile, thinking.

"What are you doing here?" A voice mumbled from behind. Remus could sneak up on the best of them.

"Looking for you actually, need advice about a love potion, or a boiling, flesh-eating potion. I have uses for either." Sirius quipped.

"Shouldn't use love potions, and I don't want to know who the other potion might be for." Remus stated plainly setting a large stack of books down on the table. Sirius read some of the titles; " _Dark Creatures of Europe_ ", " _Registered Werewolves of London_ ", " _Species of the Department of Magical Beings_ ", " _Species of the Department of Beasts_ ", _"Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them."_

Sirius whistled "Just a bit of light reading you got there?"

Remus avoided eye contact and made as if he were headed back toward the stacks before Sirius could grab him and wheel him back around. "chat time." Sirius stated. He picked up the top book on the stack and opened it to a random page. Dust puffed out in a grey plume and Sirius tried to blow it away from his face, but ended up coughing and sending more dust into the air.

Remus stared, but didn't walk away, suspecting he would just be dragged back.

"What are you looking for anyway?" Sirius asked replacing the book.

"We found one once." Remus sighed motioning to the pile.

"One what?"

Remus stared for a second then explained. "A book that didn't" he paused, flustered, "make me sound terrible." He finished weakly. "I can't remember which one it was."

Sirius knitted his eyebrows, " _Of Wizards and_ . . something" he stated. "Yeah, James and I stole it from the restricted section, apparently someone had issues with people thinking werewolves could also be normal wizards." Sirius grumbled.

Remus threw his hands in the air defeated. "great."

"nah it's fine, we never returned it, we've been keeping it under James's bed for years." Sirius explained nonchalantly. Remus looked at him like he had grown a second head.

"We read that in third year."

"And parts of it every year since." Sirius said. "We pull it out when you're passed out in the infirmary." Remus continued to stare. "It's ironic!" Sirius tried joking.

"Well, then, can we give it to Lily, or let her read it or something?" Remus asked motioning to the pile of books. "These are rubbish and she's never gonna believe me, and-"

"You don't want to lose her?"

"No, I don't. I don't want to lose you guys either." Remus continued. Sirius looked surprised. "James would pick her." Remus explained.

Sirius looked horrified but thankfully an out of breath voice managed to chime in from between the stacks. "James might." it said "but I never would." Peter ruffled beads of water out of his hair and held the map up to show them how he had found them. Remus almost smiled at his oldest friend, standing nervously in between the ends of the stacks. Peter didn't do heartfelt well.

"James wouldn't have to pick." Sirius decided. "He'd find a way to choose both, but something tells me he won't have to."

Remus reached out and touched the worn binding of the top book. Who knew how many Hogwarts students had opened that book to the pages on werewolves, where teeth and myths about silver and constant bloodlust were woven? How many students at Hogwarts would accept him as he was?

"She was okay then?" Remus asked, assuming now, that Sirius had seen Lily at some point.

"She seemed okay when I left." Peter explained. "She was." He motioned to his neck. "Playin' with her necklace. Almost smilin' I'd say. I think he was explaining things better."

"See Moony, nothing to worry about." Sirius consoled reaching out and patting Remus on the shoulder.

Remus let go of the book edge and let out a breath he may have been holding since he had realized he would have to tell her someday. He nodded, reassuring himself that it would be okay.

"Let's get rid of these books and head back to the common room." Sirius said, but when Remus made to place them back on the shelf Sirius once again stopped him in his tracks. "I meant get rid of them." Sirius repeated more clearly. The dark-haired boy looked around for the librarian, then walked to the closest window. He gently opened it, letting in the cold night air. "This'll do." He said eyeing up the landscape.

"Sirius no, we're not." Remus started as Sirius walked back to them.

"Yes we are." Sirius countered and grabbed the top book. Flicking out his wand he walked over to the window, set the book alight with one of Remus's favorite spells, and chucked the flaming book into the night air. "Goodbye rubbish."

"Sirius that's a book!" Remus croaked in pain rushing to the window. The pages of the book were burning quickly sending pieces of ash floating into the air.

"It _was_ a shit book, now it's a fireworks show for all the kiddies snogging on the lawn." Sirius smirked walking over to grab two more books. Remus almost snatched them back, but stopped himself, swallowed and honestly thought about what was going on.

Back at the window now Sirius held out one of the books, enticing to the werewolf to join. Remus looked around again for the librarian, or any other witness and then stared down at the book.

"I'm not sure I can-"

"Shut up and do it" Sirius pressed. Remus flustered but grabbed the book out of Sirius's hand. He pulled out his wand and without speaking a word set the book alight in blue flames. It book caught quicker than he expected and Sirius had to almost yell at him to chuck it out the window before his sleeve could catch on fire. He was only slightly charred as he watched the flaming book flutter onto the snowy lawn below.

This time however, watching the book filled with misinformation about werewolves go up in flames was a surprisingly beautiful and cathartic sight.


	3. Chapter 3: Spies

**Chapter 3: Spies**

The weekend tumbled by with Lily busy buried in schoolbooks and Head Girl duties. On Sunday Sirius managed to get " _Of Wizards and Werewolves_ " to her during dinner, and she was warmed by the contents.

Another quidditch game was on its way and James' captain duties and practice time tripled. Peter convinced Remus to finish teaching him the patronus charm and by Sunday night he too had a shiver of a patronus, but nothing more. They left the charms classroom feeling tired, but accomplished.

"Have you thought about jobs for after Hogwarts?" Peter asked Remus as they headed back to the common room.

Remus made a face at the question, but eventually answered, "Yeah, but not optimistically."

Peter took a breath, "My cousin was actually telling me last week there are independently owned shops that don't require blood-status verification."

Remus glanced over, surprised that Peter had looked into this issue for him. He had spent months looking for jobs where he didn't have to check a box confirming he wasn't a werewolf, carrier of Dragon Cough, or been convicted of a crime. Only one of which applied to him, but it was enough to keep him from all Ministry or Ministry regulated work. "That's great" He said tentatively. "Did you get names of any of these places?"

"Nah, just thought we could send out letters asking for applications for you." Peter explained. "Start with Hogsmeade, and maybe Diagon Alley, I figure. James and Sirius are planning on living in London. I guess it would be fun to be near them." Remus nodded in agreement.

"I'll send out some letters, thanks. What about you?"

"Sent some applications to the Ministry, grunt work mainly. I'm waiting to hear back." Peter said, then added as explination "I'm good with paperwork." Remus smiled and patted Peter on the back. It was true, between the two of them they had kept all the paperwork and prototypes for the Marauders Map neatly organized while they were constructing it despite that all the while James and Sirius would take notes on anything they could get their hands on, arms, napkins, shoes. It was a clerical nightmare.

They gave the password to The Fat Lady and slipped into the common room expecting to find Sirius by the fire so they could convince him to finish his Potions homework. Sirius, however, wasn't in the common room, either in front of the fireplace or chatting up girls in a corner. Remus and Peter shared a look of mild surprise then traipsed up to their dorm room.

They heard the sound of objects clattering across the floor before they opened the door and found Sirius tearing through his possessions clearly in search of something. Clothes, food, books and boxes of Zonkos goods were strewn across the ground.

"Hey Padfoot, what's going on?" Remus asked trying to sound calming.

Sirius had his back to them "I need the stupid-" He held his hand over his shoulder and spread two fingers indicating something small. "Thing."

"I don't know what 'that' is." Remus said as he carefully made his way through his friend's belongings to get to his own bed.

"It's his thing, he's decided he wants it back, after all these years! The little prat sent me a letter this morning asking for it again." Sirius grumbled picking up and then tossing a pile of clothes onto the ground.

"We could help you look for it?" Peter suggested. Sirius ran a hand through his hair. With the long strands out of his eyes Remus noticed how shaken he really looked.

"He's going to get himself hurt." He mumbled just loud enough for Remus to hear. "The stupid-" Sirius said louder trying to find a word that would encapsulate everything he wanted to say about his lost brother. He rubbed his face with the palms of his hand as if trying to wash something off and turned slowly in a circle, breathing through his nose angrily.

"Regulus?" Remus clarified. He crossed his arms lightly and leaned into his bedpost, watching carefully his friend's distress.

Sirius stopped looking around. He finally turned so Remus could see his full face. To Remus's shock the animagus looked to be holding back tears.

"He's one of them." Sirius admitted his voice cracking on the last word.

Remus knew this. There was a group of them, baby Death Eaters, all poised to become full-fledged ones as soon as they stepped off school grounds. Regulus had been accepted into the fold the year before.

Sirius shook out his hand and let them fall to his side. He sniffed trying to get a grip on himself. "Idiot" he spat suddenly kicking a broom kit across the room. Small scissors and broom polish cascaded across the floor, ricocheting and skittering into different corners. Sirius let out a cursing scream that folded him over. Peter subconsciously took a step back, but Remus didn't so much as flinch. He didn't know why, but Sirius was taking his brother's request hard. When Sirius had stood up straighter Remus ventured to ask, "What did he want?"

"The stupid pin. The stupid fucking pin with the stupid. Fucking. Family. Crest." He put his hands on his head, trying to breath steadily. He faced Remus again, but didn't look him in the eye. Every piece of him was trying to hold a calm, to keep himself together, but it felt like the last piece of hope he had that his brother would come back to him had died with the second, more insistent request for the hideous broach. His heart felt like it had splintered and he didn't know if the rest of him would follow. "He needs it, for some meeting, or banquet. His official descent to hell. He wants to prove who he is." Sirius spat. "I don't even know why I have the fucking thing. I think I was wearing it when I bolted from the damned family party the summer I left. Merlin knows why I didn't destroy it!" Sirius breathed in, and then out, finishing his rant. Remus nodded slowly, taking it in.

Sirius didn't want tears to be prickling his eyes; he had given up on Regulus, he had stopped caring! It felt like eons ago that he had shut off any ability to feel something besides hatred toward his family, and for most of them he had, but with Regulus it was façade. One he held up for James, who didn't understand grey areas, and all the others fighting the good fight. A façade he clearly couldn't keep up. "I lost him." He finally whispered in disbelief.

The room became very quiet, the only sound being Sirius's distressed breathing. Remus tried to hold vigil for his friend, knowing there was nothing else he could do but that. Peter slowly sunk to the floor between his and Remus's beds, waiting for Sirius to pull himself together.

Ages passed before Sirius let his hands drop to his sides. He looked around the room as if he didn't know how it came to be in the state it was in. He was unsteady on his feet, tired from fretting. Remus walked over to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Together they stared around at the debris. "We'll check everything as we put it away, yeah?" Remus suggested. Sirius nodded silently. "and Reg will, well, he'll be okay." Remus tried to console. Sirius shook his head.

"I need to give up on him." Sirius decided instead. Remus patted him on the back and began sizing up the mess surrounding them.

As the sandy-haired boy stepped away from Sirius to pick up a stack of books the door to the room opened and James stepped over the threshold. "Did you find it yet? Wow, shit." James said his eyes growing wide at the state of the dorm.

Sirius shook his head and James took another step in. A small rubber-ducky on the floor squeaked under his foot and Sirius could feel something inside him crack. A smile broke across his face, and a laugh burst from deep within him; a barking laugh, at the duck, the mess, his overreaction, and James's confused countenance. His body was convulsing in laughter until he couldn't stop, and eventually James joined in, drowning the room in hysterics. It was cathartic, it hurt, and felt like floating all at the same time.

James eventually walked the rest of the way into the room and kicked open his own trunk. From a under a trick bottom he produced a quarter-full bottle of Firewhisky and proffered it up to Sirius who popped off the top and took a swig, and handed it back. James took a drink and passed it off to Peter.

"You're cracked mate." James said looking at his friend and the mess he was standing in.

"Hopelessly." Sirius agreed, wiping a delirious tear out of his eye. James bent over and picked up an old textbook of Sirius's. Both boys' handwritings were scrawled across the cover. He didn't bother reading the text but handed it over to Sirius who tossed it onto their already overwhelmed bookshelf.

Slowly they all began to pack Sirius's belongings back into his trunk and drawers. At some point they gave up looking for the broach. Regulus's success at his new life was not Sirius's problem, they agreed, with a round a shots. They finished off the bottle, cracking jokes and hatching impractical plans until the early hours of the morning when they fell asleep sprawled out, on, or around Sirius's four-poster bed.

* * *

The rest of the week was filled with group homework sessions, quidditch, and pranks, and slowly things began to settle into a reserved normalcy. By Thursday night Lily worked up the courage to ask Remus for another patronus lesson. Remus glanced at his friends waiting for one of them to offer to be with them, as they hadn't left the two alone all week, but each pretended to be too interested in chocolate frog cards or homework to say anything. Remus nodded and turned his attention back to his runes work.

The pair did meet that weekend, as a late winter snowstorm almost had James cancel quidditch practice. Within and hour Lily was more than successful at creating a quite graceful doe. It appeared with a burst from the end of her wand, and a giggle from its holder. The doe soon learned to move around the room at Lily's behest. After a few tries it floated to Remus who stood smiling off to the side. The doe stared then nuzzled his outstretched hand.

Lily quickly wrote to Dumbledore of her success, and also that of Sirius and James. Her first mission since joining the Order was complete.

February was rolling to a cold end before Lily got word back. She showed up Thursday a few minutes later than usual for breakfast. Remus was looking pale and grumpy, Peter was extra clingy, and James and Sirius were overcompensating with jokes and poorly timed pranks. Lily stopped short. The full moon must be that night she realized with a barely contained gasp. Her brain ricochet around finally landing on the memory that James and Sirius would be serving a detention for a greenhouse related incident involving enlarged slugs that night. They didn't seem at all worried by either situation.

As she carefully sat down on Peter's left Sirius handed her a small fluffy grey owl. "I think this is yours. It's been plucking around here for awhile, but bit me when I tried to take the letter."

Finally seeing it's intended recipient at the table the bird hooted happily and held out his leg. Sirius glared as she unwrapped a long skinny slip of paper addressed in thin scrawling handwriting. She read it while reaching for toast.

She put the toast in her mouth and stood back up. "I gotta go." She said taking a bite of her simple breakfast.

"What? You just got here." James protested.

"I need to talk to McGonagall before class."

"Talk to her after."

"Can't. I have a thing."

"A thing? What thing?"

"A thing." She said waving the slip of paper in the air and slipping off, putting the toast back in her mouth. James looked glumly at her retreating figure.

"Huh?" Sirius said. "Wonder what that was about." Peter on the other side of the table smirked.

James immediately turned his attention to Peter "What did it say?"

"Don't tell him." Remus commanded.

"What?-"

"Tell me." James demanded over top of Sirius's words.

"She's meeting with Dumbledore at lunch." Peter said conspiratorially.

"You were supposed to hold it against them!" Remus complained at Peter.

"What? They were giving me that look." Peter explained.

"We could have gotten something out of them. Like chocolate." Remus grumbled. Sirius rolled his eyes and reached for a chocolate muffin down the table. He chucked it at the werewolf who caught it and peeled off the paper with a predatory smile.

"So Dumbledore." James noted getting back to business and scratching his chin in wonder.

"Dumbledore." Sirius mimicked scratching his own clean-shaven chin.

"Lily Evens sneaks off to have a secret meeting about a secret thing with Dumbledore. I think we only have one option here gentlemen."

"What's that?" Peter asked.

"Maraud." James whispered slyly, his planning face already set in place.

"You do that, Ima take a nap." Remus said, finishing off his muffin and getting up from the table.

"Party pooper." Sirius chided, but Remus only half-heartedly glared back. "We have class." Sirius added as a reminder. Remus groaned and sat back down. He moved his plate onto Peter's half empty one, rested his head on the cold wood, and shut his eyes.

"Okay. What's the plan, Prongs?" Sirius asked turning his attention back to James.

"I'm thinking we just ask her." James said, his scheming face dropping for a more serious one.

"and then?" Sirius prompted dryly.

"When she doesn't tell us we follow her to Dumbledore's office under the cloak?"

"You're becoming pathetic, Prongs."

"Does she know about the cloak yet?" Peter asked, taking Remus's plate back off his and continuing to eat.

"Not yet." James said. The others looked at him, surprised. "What? We have four months of pranking left, and I don't want her getting in the way of it." There was a general murmur of agreement.

"What if it's just Head Girl stuff?" Remus said pulling his head off the table long enough to hold it up with his hand.

"I'm Head Boy." James shot-down.

"No like, never mind that was stupid." Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose with the hand his head wasn't in, and yawned. "What if. ." Remus scrunched up his face in concentration. "We can bug her?" Sirius, James and Peter all stared at him. "We could stick Wormtail on her somehow, no. . .but I've got a new spell that might be able to...One of us would have to get sent to his office before lunch."

"Done." Sirius said slamming a hand onto the table. Remus flinched then gave him a withering look. Sirius mouthed a "sorry" and Remus continued. "I'm not even sure it will work."

"Well what is it then?" James prompted.

"Two things really; your mirrors. We plant one in his office, listen in on the other."

"You have to have someone on the other side turn it on." Sirius reminded. "Or we would have done this before"

Remus shrugged, "I told you there's a modification. I read about an extension charm. You turn it on, charm it so the magic keeps it on, and plant it in Dumbledore's office somewhere, and then we have access to his office."

"How do we get it back?" Sirius asked.

Remus stared at Sirius for a second before answering as if it were obvious. "You get sent there more than the entire population of the school combined. You just pick it up next time you find yourself there."

"But then how am I going to talk to James tonight in detention?" Sirius whined.

"Yeah, what are we gonna do without each other for whole night?" James and Sirius were trying to hold serious faces but at Remus's utterly unimpressed stare, they broke. "Ah hell Moony, nothing can perk you up. Dumbledore will find it though. He's brilliant, probably has foreign magic censors all over the place." Remus contemplated this, then his eyes widened with an idea.

"break a chip of it off."

"What?" James snapped, offended that someone would suggest breaking his mirror.

"It'll still work right? We just break a piece off, stick it in Lily's pocket, and then she'll be the foreign bit of magic. Dumbledore won't notice. Better yet Sirius'll avoid another detention."

"Postpone another detention." Sirius corrected, disheartened.

"It'll be easy."

"We'll have to break our mirrors." James said looking unhappy about the prospect.

"Just enough to hear through." Remus certified.

"I'm not sure it matters that much. Lily'll tell us if it's important." James suddenly looked uncomfortable. Sirius looked at him questioningly.

"Really Prongs, you scared she'll skin you alive for butting into her business?"

"Yeah, a little. Come on. What could she be hiding? It's probably just something about NEWTs or graduation. Like Remus said." Remus raised his eyebrows at James's sudden interest in doing what's right, then lost interest in the conversation and set his head back down on the table. James turned to Peter, who opened and shut his mouth like a fish out of water a few times, but didn't take a side. James looked annoyed at the betrayal. "Padfoot, Lily will kill me if she finds out we were spying on her."

"We already did." Sirius reminded, pointing at Peter. "Why stop now?" James unhappily picked up a piece of toast and took a bite out of the corner. "I don't want to break my mirror." He mumbled.

"Awesome. We'll break mine then." Sirius said reaching into his bag and pulling out his mirror. With a spell he carefully sliced off a corner and held it up to admire his work. "So who's gonna plant it on her." In response Remus yawned, Peter looked like a deer in the headlights and James shook his head. "I'm gonna plant it on her!" Sirius decided happily as he pocketed the small sharp piece of mirror.

Remus charmed it to stay on as they walked to transfigurations. With a simple distraction in the form of a lanky, bespectacled boyfriend Sirius was able to magically stick the mirror to the inside hem of Lily's cloak without her noticing. There, she would neither see it nor feel it, and with any luck she also wouldn't cut herself on it like Sirius had. He was sucking the small wound as Professor McGonagall walked into the room.

"NEWTs are on the horizon." She reminded for the millionth time. "You should also all be meeting with your heads of house about post-Hogwarts careers. Several representatives from the Ministry and other opportunities will be here over the next few weeks to talk with you. Times and names are noted on the board." She said waving her wand at the blackboard where a piece of chalk began listing names, professions, dates and times. "Don't be like last year's class, make sure you show up to these events. They are important and here to help you." She looked around at the students sternly. A few of them, Peter included, were taking quick notes about the times and dates of events. James leaned back in his chair, lazily; his post graduation plans were set.

The rest of double transfigurations took forever, the time stretching on in anticipation for Lily's lunch meeting. While they worked on that day's project Lily kept swearing she heard an echo coming out of James's bag, but he denied her questions evenly. The marauders waved Lily on to her meeting and then, instead of heading to the Great Hall, rushed up to the common room to spy.

Lily made herself as presentable as possible on the assent to the Headmaster's office. As the rotating stairs stopped the door swung open lightly and she stepped in. Dumbledore was smiling warmly at her from behind his desk. "Lemon drop?" He offered holding out a small dish. Lily shook her head. "We are awaiting a very special witch." Dumbledore explained as Lily took another step into the room. "How are you?"

"I'm fine sir, how are you?" She replied back automatically, though 'fine' should have been a 'very nervous and week kneed, sir'. Before he could reply the flames of Dumbledore's fire burst green and a woman stepped out looking winded. Dark Brown straight hair hung around a middle-aged, smiling face. She wore dusty pants and a plain t-shirt under her unbuttoned and dirty, green mediwitch robes. "Melinda Bones" Dumbledore said delightedly, as an introduction for Lily. He stood up and offered a hand.

The woman dusted herself off and walked straight over to Dumbledore. "Albus!" She smiled and reached over his outstretched hand for a hug that Dumbledore seemed to resign himself to. She backed off him and began emptying her pockets. "I know how you feel about me carrying weapons into your school, but I just got off shift." She said guiltily as she began to pull potions vials, small knives and strangely shaped instruments out of her pockets. Lily hoped her "shift" had more to do with the Order and less to do with St. Mungo's.

"You have a wand Melinda, I'm not sure all of these are necessary." Dumbledore pointed out. Melinda merely looked at him then pulled a bottle of blue liquid out of a strap under her cloak. She pulled a final dagger out of the boot that she had unceremoniously lifted onto the headmaster's desk and remembered excitedly, "Oh I got you something." And out of an inside pocket in her cloak she pulled out small glistening glass scales. She set it lightly on his desk and tapped it with a cherry wand that she had pulled out of her sleeve. Within an instant it grew to cover the book it was sitting on. Dumbledore looked instantly delighted.

"Oh very nice, where did you find it?"

"Small pawn shop. Saw it on duty today, thought you would enjoy it." She grinned. The woman finally turned to scan the rest of the room, her eyes stopping when they found Lily, who was standing staring, a little shocked. "You must be the Evans girl." She said stepping down the small step to be level with Lily and offering her a hand. Lily nodded and nervously reached out her own. "Pleasure dear" Melinda said giving her a firm handshake. "You're a brave one then?" She asked.

"Um yes?" Lily said, not sure if it was a question or a statement.

"A Gryffindor. I meant you're a Gryffindor." Melinda clarified letting go of Lily's hand and pointing to the lion shield on the girl's chest.

"Oh! Oh, yes, Gryffindor." Lily fumbled.

"The man and I are taking bets on where our boy will be placed. He says Ravenclaw, because the boy can't get his head out of books, but I'm voting Gryffindor all the way, just like his Mum." Melinda winked at Lily and turned back to Dumbledore. "So when do I get 'er?" She asked stepping back up to Dumbledore's level and flicking a thumb over her shoulder.

"Not until after graduation I'm afraid." Dumbledore replied, feigning sadness. Melinda frowned and Lily could feel herself deflate. She was hoping this meeting would mean she would get to start doing something.

"Training though?" Melinda inquired. Dumbledore didn't say anything and Melinda plucked a lemon drop out of the saucer on his desk and unwrapped it into her mouth. "How good are you at dueling?" She asked turning back around to face Lily.

Lily thought for a moment then said "Okay. I guess. We had a dueling club a few years back and I was one of the best."

"We had to do away with the dueling club after tensions started running high among some of our more…" Dumbledore paused trying to think of the right word "enthusiastic students." He tried.

"James turned someone into a ferret, and the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor wasn't impressed." Lily explained. "Neither was the overseer from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement." Lily added.

Dumbledore couldn't help but crack a smile. "No he was not. But you're not here to discuss defunct clubs. Have a chat with Miss Evans. I shall grab the map." Dumbledore turned and wandered into one of his back storage rooms, and Melinda turned her attention once more to Lily. The lemon drop in her mouth switched sides and Lily could hear it clink around between the woman's teeth as she stepped closer.

"How's your decisiveness?"

Lily raised an eyebrow wondering if this was part of a test. "Um?"

"Are you 100% certain that you are ready to hand yourself over to an organization whose soul purpose is to take down the most feared dark wizards of our time?" Melinda was dead serious as she spoke almost directly into Lily's ear.

The head girl was fully nervous now. She didn't know what she could say that would prove her intentions, her certainty. Before she could stop herself however she glanced to the side where Melinda was leaning over speaking to her and said simply "Yes." She didn't explain herself or give a reason why she was prepared. Melinda didn't seem to mind.

The woman relaxed and said "Perfect." She flipped the lemon drop around in her mouth again as Dumbledore entered the room once more. He was holding a large rolled up piece of paper in his hand. "Dumbledore, I just remembered I'm cooking up some spinach tonight, fresh stuff. Ripe red tomatoes as well, it'll be delicious, you should come join us." Melinda started excitedly as Dumbledore wandered back to his desk looking slightly less thrilled about the vegetables she was offering.

"I may just have to take you up on that." Dumbledore smiled, placating her. "But of course tonight is pork chop night in the dining hall so-"

"Well, come later this year if you care to, Allison and I have started a garden! By July you can be eating fresh veggies straight from out dirt." Melinda paused "assuming I don't get busy and kill everything again." She mumbled under her breath. "Oh well, Allison's getting mighty good at gardening herself, maybe she'll spare us all this year." Dumbledore spread the map out on his desk, and Melinda walked over to peer over it with him. Lily wondered if she could follow, but instead stayed by the door and bounced onto her toes trying to see what was going on.

"There." Dumbledore finally announced, pointing one of his long thin fingers at the large map.

"No way! Some homeless guy used to sell, well, they say he used to sell feral cat parts as potions ingredients out of that old building." Melinda stated pointedly.

"Mundungus assures me that they weren't real cat bits." Dumbledore stated comfortingly.

"Knew it." Melinda said with a frown. "It's as good a place as any. I suppose. No one will want to come out there."

"Alastor tells me it would be simple to sure up, at least for the next meeting, maybe more."

"We'll do it then." Melinda agreed, still a little unhappily. "She know about the patronuses?" Melinda asked, jerking her head toward Lily.

"Ah yes. Lily tells me she has just perfected the spell." Dumbledore said with a soft smile. The adults both turned to her.

"Does she know what we use them for then?"

"Not yet. I thought you might enjoy the honor?"

"Course I would." Melinda stepped back down to Lily's level rubbing her wand between her hands excitedly. "Patronuses are wonderful for keeping off dementors, but they also have one other peculiarly helpful trick." Melinda removed her wand from her pocket and held it out. " _Expecto Patronum_ " she said with determination. Out of the tip of her wand something with several legs and a strange flat body began to crawl. Lily stepped back and took a double take as the creature floated in a crawl to Dumbledore's large desk then turned back around to its creator. "Sturdy little things, roaches are." The woman smiled, reaching out to tickle the bug's chin. It was larger than any roach Lily had ever seen, at least a foot long with wiggling pincers and a hard segmented back. It would have been mildly terrifying and repulsive if the woman weren't so sweetly taken with it. "Now the other neat trick is this-" she reached out her wand again and said " _Loquere nuntius_ ". Melinda then listed off several names and then with clarity, "231 Port Road". The monstrous bug reared up on its hind legs then turned and scampered out the closed window. Lily paused, staring at the space where the creature had just disappeared. "No one can mimic that kind of message." Melinda nodded with a quick wink.

"So it'll deliver it?" Lily asked in awe. Dumbledore and Melinda nodded. "Cool."

"Very safe too." Dumbledore replied. "So Melinda will be escorting you to the next Order meeting. I suppose you should both set up a time and place while you're here?" Lily tried to hide the smile that was threatening to break across her face; first Order meeting!

"I can see you're excited." Melinda said, a bit bemused. "Can you apparate?"

"Very well." Lily bragged.

"Perfect we'll meet at the gates then. 4:45 to get us there early."

Lily nodded. "4:45. Wait, what day?"

"Sunday."

"Great. I'll be there."

"Dumbledore, I still need to talk to you about the Prewetts." Melinda stated. Dumbledore nodded and walked around behind his desk. "Lily you should get on to Lunch."

"It was nice to meet you Lily." Melinda added. Lily was a little surprised at her sudden dismissal; wasn't there more? She waited for a half second but then nodded politely in the pairs' direction and with a small smile left the Headmaster's office.

The gargoyle staircase deposited her in the long, wide hallway and she couldn't help but punch the air in excitement as she headed for The Great Hall.

* * *

In the common room Sirius and James were staring gape-mouthed at James's mirror. Peter sat before them shocked, and Remus was sprawled out on nearby sofa, asleep. They hadn't quite sorted out what they wanted to do about the situation when they realized Lily was expecting to meet them in the Great Hall in less than a minute. Sirius, James and Peter grabbed their bags and shot out of the room electing to leave Remus to sleep. They stumbled down stairs and around corners until they skidded to the doors of the great hall and walked in.

Lily was standing next to the Gryffindor table looking around, apparently confused at their absence. When she turned back toward the door she smiled and waved. James rustled his hair nervously as he walked over and pecked her on the cheek. "You lot putting Remus to bed?" Lily asked as they sat down. They all nodded emphatically at her assumption, and started piling food onto their plates. "I assumed you would have already eaten." Lily said looking at them ravenously shovel food into their mouths.

"Nope." Peter said through a mouthful of peas.

"Not yet." Sirius agreed stacking another helping of sandwiches onto his plate.

"Okay, you're all acting weird. I hope you enjoy whatever detention you get for this. I'm going to pretend that I know nothing. Sirius could you pass the bread please?" Sirius handed her the plate of bread while slurping spaghetti into his mouth. None of them knew what to say, or how. Lily had been talking of Death Eaters and meeting points with Dumbledore and a woman named Melinda Bones. She was in on something, and they all wanted in as well, but saying so would prove they were spying, and James refused to let her know they were doing that.

It took James halfway through lunch before he realized that on top of the excitement and nerves that were coursing through him there was another layer of frustration. Frustration that Lily hadn't told him about this; that she had somehow been keeping anything this huge from him. They finished eating in a rush since lunch was almost over and they needed to poke a sleeping werewolf awake before their Care of Magical Creatures lesson. "Catch you after class?" James asked giving Lily as kiss as he got up from the table. Lily smiled a yes and watched the three boys headed off, bread and chocolate cake stuffed into their pockets.

* * *

 _A/N - Melinda Bones is OC. I imagine Edgar Bones actually just married a witch who wasn't involved in the Order maybe even a muggle?- but I wanted another woman and/or older mother around in the Order, so you get Melinda. She's still just a side character, so no panicking._


	4. Chapter 4: Order and Anger

**Chapter 4: Order and Anger**

"We have to do something. Trick her into telling us!" Sirius argued leaning back in his chair. His feet were up on the bottom rung of Remus's preferred Hospital wing bed. The curtains were pulled tightly shut. Peter's upper half was stretched out on the bed and his eyes were drooping shut. James was pacing around the room, unconsciously scratching the silver dittany off the scratches on his arms. This was the first Lily-free moment they had had where their minds weren't occupied with sneaking out of the castle or surviving detention. "James you're going to peel your arm off."

"You really think it's a secret organization? Maybe she's just researching something for a paper." James tried to reason crossing his arms so he would stop scratching.

"Prongs, this is exactly what we were hoping for. An army. Come on!" Sirius let the feet of his chair hit the ground. The noise made Remus jerk, but he didn't wake up. Peter's eyes flickered open, trying to follow the conversation. "We have an 'in' now."

"I know" James said starting to bite his thumbnail. "But I just feel like Lily would've told me if that were the case. She knows I want to join the fight. Hell, we promised each other we would right in front of her face." James started, picking at the dried paste on his arm again. "No. It must be something else, something smaller, less important."

Sirius racked his brain for a way to reason with him. He couldn't come up with anything. He very much wanted an underground army headed by Dumbledore to exist. There had always been whispers of something, a group, but no one knew where those rumors originated. Hagrid had even mumbled about something, but to their surprise they had never gotten much out of him. If an army was being created right under their noses, they were shoe-ins to become members. Dumbledore would have to take them.

"Order of the Phoenix." James and Sirius both whipped their head around to look at Remus. His cut face was still half buried in pillows and his eyes were still determinedly shut but when no one spoke he repeated, in a scratchy voice, "Order of the Phoenix."

"Merlin, you talkin' in your sleep now Moony?" Sirius asked, leaning in closer to look at his friend. He was pale and radiated warmth from a mild fever. It was very rare that he bothered saying anything until well into they day, and the sun had just barely risen.

"Is an organization." Remus breathed out. He slowly turned over onto his back with a groan and peeked through an eye at a form that he thought was probably James. The grey light of morning was still too much for him and he shut them again.

"Is that the group? Is Lily in the thing called the Order of the . . the?" Sirius started.

"Phoenix?" James helped. Remus gave one thumb up signaling "yes".

"And they fight He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" James continued. Another thumbs up. Peter slowly picked his head off the bed to look at Remus, a little surprised.

"And you knew about this?" Remus turned his thumb upside down then scrunched up his face. His thumb began to weakly waver between up and down.

"Merlin." James breathed out annoyed. "How?"

Remus didn't reply but instead rolled back onto his side with a groan.

Sirius stared at his friend's unmoving face for several seconds before translating for James. "I think he might tell us later."

A flicker of annoyance shot through James. They had been left in the dark about this by not one, but two people. He huffed at Sirius, who held his hands up professing innocence, then stormed out of the Hospital Wing stating simply that he needed to take a walk.

Sirius waited for his friend to return for half an hour, but when it became clear that he wasn't coming back before potions class Sirius poked Peter awake and together they wandered off to class.

James's mood hadn't improved by class time. He didn't speak to Sirius through all of potions and stormed out right after it was over. The not-so-subtle jokes from the Slytherin tables didn't make matters any better. Severus, leaning across a cauldron with Avery smirked along with Mulciber's jibes about Remus's absences and Peter's incompetence. Sirius had to hold James back from lobbing a hissing cockroach fang into Mulciber's cauldron at least three times before the class ended.

Sirius walked with Peter back up to the Hospital Wing after class for their free period. "Did you know what Moony knew?" Sirius asked. Remus disseminated knowledge in strange ways and sometimes Peter knew things James and Sirius never found out. Peter however was as in the dark as Sirius and James, and nervous as well. He hated moments when James was angry. It rarely ended badly, but it meant days of sulking and arguing. Peter would often be sent on dangerous errands alone, and would end up getting into more trouble than he would usually want.

"I know nothing." He admitted. Sirius sighed and Peter continued sulkily, "I should have never even read that stupid letter of hers." Sirius patted him on the back. The pudgier boy lived for those moments, when Sirius would make some gesture that made him feel slightly less outcast; a gentle reminder of their continued friendship.

"Not your fault mate. It's Lily's really, for keeping it from him." Sirius tried to console. "Don't tell James I said that, or I'll _actually_ be on his shit list." He said quickly. "This will be good for us. If everything's what it seems we'll have something to do after we graduate." He added with a comforting smile. Peter tried to look excited, but he was still too worried about the situation at hand to cheer.

They rounded the last corner and entered the Hospital wing where they were stopped in their tracks by an upsetting image. Madam Pomfrey was standing cross-armed between a furious James, and Remus who was still lying down but was adamantly throwing a signed message at James.

Peter sighed, not terribly surprised by the sight. James was upset and had the tendency to get angry when he was up all night, not to mention covering two late night prefect shifts for Remus leading up to this day. Remus had a tendency to, in lieu of actually flicking someone off, hold up two middle fingers in a phrase that, for the marauders now meant anything from "No I'm not doing it" to "I've have god-awful hangover and if you come any closer I may kill you". They called it the full-moon defense, as Remus had the tendency to use it to get out of running errands or to shut everyone up.

Madam Pomfrey sighed in relief when Sirius and Peter entered. "Sirius could you? Please." She motioned to James who stood a head taller than her. James paused in his loud ranting to glare at the incomers. Peter was glad he wasn't the one being asked to forcibly drag James out of the room. Instead he slipped by him and walked to Remus. He reached out for the resting boy's hand. His friend flicked his wrist at him to get him to back off, but Peter only flinched to avoid behind hit. Behind him Sirius was slowly dragging James out of the room by his robe collar. James wasn't putting up much of a fight, but was still glaring at Remus. Once they neared the threshold Peter reached out for Remus's hand and folded his middle fingers down. Remus let Peter guide his hand back onto the bed, then let out a long tired sigh.

"He hasn't gone after Lily then?" Remus asked after a pause. Remus's astuteness, even in his state of being half awake, always surprised Peter. The rest of them had learned, over the years, that James screaming at them was nothing more than (usually) misplaced frustration. But every time it happened Peter still felt rattled. Because of this he was thankful that he was rarely the receiver of James's anger. Sirius got the brunt of it, giving as good as he got, and Remus, occasionally would get it, but always took it in stride either ignoring James, which made it worse, or calmly talking him down. The full-moon defense was reserved for days he didn't have the energy for anything else. They all knew James couldn't truly yell at Lily, he was still in awe that she called him her boyfriend. He wouldn't do anything to damage that, much less get in a fully-fledged fight with her. Peter sat down wearily in the chair Sirius had abandoned before class.

"You knew something too, though." Peter ventured nervously. Remus almost made a derisive snorting noise, but in his weakness it came out as a stuttered exhalation.

"A name Pete. I knew a name. Lily must have figured out the rest or something. It never crossed my mind that it was real."

Peter nodded then added, "Sorry."

Out in the hall they were beginning to hear the telltale signs of a full blown Sirius-James screaming match. From the sound of it they would be lucky if both of the marauder founders showed up at dinner bruise free. They would, nonetheless, come to dinner and sit, as always, right next to each other, friends once more.

There had only been two fights between the pair that had been fierce enough for a truly worrying split to occur. The first barely counted since it was a second year squabble over a girl. The first and last time any of them had let that happen. The second had lasted a full two weeks at the end of their fifth year and could have been the moment the marauders broke completely. It was the survival of this fight that made Peter certain they could survive worse. He sighed and leaned his head against the wall, waiting for the quiet, or the sound of a fist hitting flesh.

James must have stormed off because ten minutes later Sirius walked in looking no worse for the wear. He stalked over to the side of Remus's bed and stood cross-armed trying to calm himself.

"You alright?" He asked after a moment. There was concern in his voice, but also a dose of annoyance.

Remus actually spoke the word "yes", then shielded his eyes from the light with his arm and looked up at Sirius.

"You should have told us." Sirius stated flatly.

"It was just a name." Remus repeated for the second time. Sirius nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, stressed.

"I'm going to go chase down James. Wormtail's here if you need anything." Remus covered his eyes with his arm and gave Sirius a thumbs-up with his other hand. Sirius tapped his side to tell him to take care of himself and left the hospital wing in a rush.

The floors of the hall were loud under his feet as he started off toward the common room, taking the usual short cuts. James, he knew, would wander in the direction of the common room, never making it. This would be especially true if he wanted to walk and be left alone more than he wanted to be in a chair in front of the fireplace surrounded by curious students.

Sirius trudged up and down stairs and behind portraits and tapestries. He walked along hallways until he started to wonder if he should just go back to the dorm for the Marauder's Map. He was headed down a short hallway when he caught his friend's back slipping behind a tapestry and into a semi-hidden stairwell. He followed quickly, still unsure what he was going to say, what could calm his friend down. He slipped behind the tapestry and immediately, and without thinking, blurted out. "What's your deal?"

James whirled around "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he snapped back, eyes narrowing.

Sirius automatically stepped back down a stair and took a surrendering stance. His words had come out angrier than he anticipated. He fumbled for something to say, wondering what he did mean. "Not about Remus or the Lily thing." He finally realized. He looked at his friend's eyes, wilder than usual behind his glasses. "You're bloody wound man."

"Wound?" James bit taking a step toward Sirius who nervously stood his ground.

"I don't know."

"Wound?" James repeated a little louder. Sirius didn't consider his options before spitting out the rest of his unconscious thought.

"All of the sudden, this year, it's like you've turned well..." Sirius tried to clarify, not sure he wanted to say what he meant.

"Turned what? Say it Sirius." James snapped.

"Boring!" Sirius exhaled. "and careful, and like anything you do is gonna break something!" Sirius finished loudly, motioning with his hands for emphasis. James looked irritated and neither boy said anything for a moment. Sirius looked up at the ceiling, then back at James, understanding how ridiculous the following sentence would sound. "You've become _responsible_ , but-" Sirius ran a hand through his hair "But not…arg…You didn't want to spy on Lily, she won't let you pick on Snivellus, you avoid pranking because you're worried about detentions and missing practice and I had to spend last week dying the Hufflepuff team's quidditch robes red with Wormtail because you were too busy spending time with Lily and-"

"Sorry if I want to spend time with a my girlfriend!" James started.

"Lily's not the point, James!" Sirius yelled, cutting him off.

"Fine, I'm sorry. I'm what? Acting like someone about to go out to fight a war?"

Sirius reeled back at James's reaction, caught completely off guard; war? What did that have to do with anything? They were students. The war was months away from truly bothering them.

"Fuck that!" Sirius finally said, a bit bewildered.

"I can't!"

"We're not fighting a war yet!" Sirius flustered.

"We will be." James countered.

"Like in a couple of months." Sirius paused then had to say, "I mean let's be idiots why we still can be!" He and James stared at each other, a little surprised that they were on such different sides of this issue.

"I can't do that." James said again trying to explain. "This war isn't going to kill _you_ Sirius, it's going to kill Lily, and Moony, and Delilah, and Mary and Patrick, people who don't deserve it." A sadness washed over James's face replacing the anger of a few minutes before.

"But you've stopped living!" Sirius exploded stepping up a stair to be level with James.

"It's because I have something to lose!"

"So do I!" Sirius screamed trying to stare down James. "I lost Reg." He flustered, knowing it wasn't the right thing to say. James almost scoffed. Regulus had been a pain in their side since he had arrived at Hogwarts, spouting pure-blood drivel and following the older Slytherins around like a puppy, hoping to win approval. "I need this." Sirius continued, ignoring James's derision. "Give me these last few months? I grew up steeped in this stupid war, and as much as I want to blow them to bits I want to enjoy my last few months of actual peace, of being irresponsible!" Sirius pleaded.

James looked at him sadly, "Sirius I can't." He said for the third time.

"Why not!" Sirius pressed, not expecting an answer. They were quiet suddenly; somewhere deep in themselves they knew they were both right, and very wrong at the same time. Sirius fell against the wall defeated. "I know you can't James." He finally admitted.

"I would if I could." James tried to meet Sirius somewhere in the middle. His friend sighed.

"Dammit, James. What's wrong with us?" Sirius said pushing away from the wall and looking down at the ground sadly.

"We're wound up." James conceded. He sighed and suddenly admitted, "I'm just a wreck Padfoot." He pulled his messy hair away from his face revealing the dark circles under his eyes. "All the sudden I'm the team captain, and a Head-boy instead of Moony, and Lily says yes to going out to dinner- and I can't lose her but students are pulling out of school, and there're jobs, and NEWTs, and apartments, and a war and I can't sort it out." James slipped down onto a stair tiredly.

"Lily's never gonna leave you." Sirius tried to comfort sitting down next to him. That was the only thing he could say, the only thing he could maybe fix in James's long list of worries. Together they stared down the flight of stairs lost under the sudden weight of life. "I ignore it. Doesn't mean I don't think about it all sometimes." Sirius said quietly.

"I don't need you to think about it Sirius, I just need you to-"

"Not be a useless prat, I know." Sirius finished for him.

"I was going to say 'be helpful'." James corrected.

Sirius tried to force a smile. "We're gonna fight the bastard Death-Eaters, and shoot You-Know-Who in the face."

"What if we can't find an army?" James whispered ignoring Sirius's attempt to cheer him up.

"We make one. We're not letting them get away with anything." Sirius decided.

James folded over and rested his head on his bony knee. There was a long silence before James mumbled to the ground, "Why didn't Moony tell us about the Order?"

"I honestly think he just thought it was a rumor." Sirius replied squinting toward the bottom of the stairs, thinking about their friends back in the Hospital wing.

James sighed deeply, and slowly sat up straight again. "We should prank someone." He decided.

"For old-times-sake?" Sirius smirked.

"Merlin I hope not." James replied, and with the frazzled hair and dark circles under his eyes, the weight of what looked like the world on his shoulders, Sirius thought James looked older than he had ever seen him. Maybe James had looked like that for a long time and this was just the first time he had noticed.

"How about for now-times-sake. We could use a little laughter at this school?" Sirius tried.

"Always…Let's go paint Moony's face while he's passed out." James suggested maliciously.

"We promised him we'd never do that again, actually." Sirius reminded. James looked grumpy for a moment. "We'll think of something." he consoled.

* * *

Remus managed to stumble down to breakfast the next morning. He noticed James was looking uncomfortable holding Lily's hand on the table. She was smiling at him as she talked about the essay she was working on with Lydia for Charms. James was focusing heavily on his plate.

Lily changed her focus to Remus as he sat down. She looked briefly uncertain then regained her wits. "How are you?" She asked. This wasn't the first time he had shown up to breakfast looking, and feeling, like he had been tossed off a hippogriff, but he reminded himself this was the first time Lily knew why he looked like that.

"I'm alright." He answered with a gravely voice. Lily bit her lip.

"You need anything?" She continued. Remus wondered if she knew about his and James's screaming match the day before. James told her a lot, but not everything, and often not things that took place between the four friends. Remus shook his head, immediately regretting the motion then reached out past Peter for the plate of sausages. He was just beginning to have an appetite.

The conversation at their section of the table became very quiet. Sirius picked up a Daily Profit and pretended to flip through it. Peter was focusing intently on his food. Remus took a bite of his sausage then had a thought. "Hey Lily, yeah, actually could you do me a favor?" Lily perked up at the chance to be helpful. Remus scanned the table for something they didn't already have. "Could you check if one of the other tables has chocolate muffins?"

Lily looked intently at Remus, taking in his request. For a second she looked like she didn't know why one of the others wasn't asked, but she must have settled on believing he was bringing her into some imaginary fold by asking for her help, because she said "sure" and quickly got out of her chair and began to walk away in search of a muffin.

James openly stared at Remus now, which was a pleasant surprise from the glare he was expecting. Before Lily could come back he plunged in. "I'll talk to her. I'll get whatever information out of her that I can. She won't suspect me because I'm the one who told her about the Order." He held a hand up to James before he could storm in with a comment. "I only knew the name and a rumor, nothing else. She must have found out everything about it and joined herself, but if I start asking her about it she won't be suspicious that we were spying." Remus finished just as Lily returned to the table with a chocolate chip muffin in her hand.

"Hufflepuff table" she said with a smile as she sat down. Remus took the muffin thankfully and began eating, not realizing how much he had been craving chocolate.

"Did I miss anything?" She asked.

"Ravena Rhyan's garden is set to produce the largest carrots of the year again." Sirius commented from behind his copy of the Profit as if it were a life-changing announcement.

"Remus was just telling us how he wants to look into this Order of the Phoenix thing some more." James said with a layer of testiness only Remus could hear.

"Oh." Lily looked surprised, and then nervous, then said simply "What's that?" Remus smiled at her.

"Oh you remember, a couple months ago I mentioned this crazy Order thing. I thought they might be fighting You-Know-Who." Lily looked like she was trying to decide between feigning ignorance and nodding. She went with a half head cock and then a nod.

"Oh, I think I do remember that."

"Yeah, I just thought I'd look more into it, now that we've all decided to join and or create an army to fight He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named after we graduate." They were all staring intently at Lily. Sirius and Peter were trying to hide their close stares behind their respective covers of the Profit and food, but they were all waiting intently for her reaction.

Lily composed herself and nodded thoughtfully. She took a bite of her oatmeal and then said plainly, "I hope you have luck with that, let me know if there's any kind of research or something I can do." The marauders all sighed internally. "Oops, look at the time, I'm on hallway duty this morning, gotta go." Lily sprung from her seat before Remus could say anything more.

James watched her walk out then grumbled into his breakfast, "She's not on hallway duty. It's Saturday."

* * *

James spent the rest of the day, and much of the next at quidditch practice or planning for quid ditch practice by scribbling away in his notebook. Sirius dragged Peter around the halls looking for a Slytherin to prank with his new sparking-rubber band shooter while Remus split his time between the library and the common room to catch up on homework and plot the best way to get Lily to tell them about the Order.

Sunday evening came around without any success on Remus's part. Sirius and Peter, on the other hand, had pranked at least a dozen people, and managed to plant a few surprises for Monday morning classes.

James still felt uneasy about the quidditch team's progress as he sat down cold and wet by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room. "Where's everyone?" He asked. Remus was the only one around, sitting cross-legged on a couch and concentrating furiously on an arithmancy book James was fairly certain wasn't part of their homework assignment.

Remus glanced up and looked around as if he, too, were surprised at the others' absence, then his memory turned back on. "They followed Lily."

James looked confused. "Followed Lily where?"

"The meeting." Remus said quietly looking back down at the book on his lap. James sat up straighter, then when Remus didn't give any more details he reached over and flipped the book shut. Remus looked up with an exasperated sigh. "They thought of it while they were wandering around today. Sirius said he wanted to help you find an army or something. They're going as Padfoot and Wormtail. If it's actually some busted up building no one'll think it's strange."

"And no one told me?"

"You were at practice."

"I could've gone with them!"

"I think a stag would look strange wandering around London." Remus pointed out to an unfazed James.

"We have an invisibility cloak!"

"That two, sometimes three people can fit under, and they assumed there would be anti-wizard charms everywhere. Anti-rat and anti-dog charms on the other hand were questionable. They weren't even sure it would work, and as I already said, you were at practice." James slouched back, pouting.

"and you?"

"Two people, one cloak." He repeated, then added, "I have homework and I'm not sure standing around outside the safety spells, bored, would have been helpful. I voted to stay here." Remus opened his book back up.

They fell into a short silence before something that had been bothering James crept to the surface. He hadn't had a chance to address it, hadn't been alone with Remus. "Hey Moony."

"Yes Prongs?" Remus replied not looking up from his book.

"You have a thing for Lily?"

Remus looked slowly up from his book, his face read disbelief. He slowly shut his book. James stared back. "How have you and Lily both gotten this into your head?" He asked as if he were speaking with a bothersome five-year-old.

"I dunno, you're both always studying, and you both knew about the Order stuff, and I was just checking." James trailed off, mumbling.

"You can both stop checking. Lily has always been off limits. Incredibly off limits. She. . . even when you weren't dating and we were working on something together, she talked about you. Trust me. I spent two years as a prefect trying to convince her you weren't a 'toe-rag'. It was always you." Remus's eyes were locked on James's, dead serious. James continued to look uncertain.

"That doesn't mean-"

"Lily is a friend." Remus said pointedly. James nodded, letting the subject drop. Remus opened his homework back up and began concentrating with extra focus.

Eventually James slunk off to take a shower, and returned with a stack of books and parchment to half-heartedly work on his own homework. Instead he rolled balls of parchment up and flicked them at Remus and groups of underclassmen, or chucked sparklers into the fire, waiting uneasily for the return of the others.

At half past nine, winded and looking cold and exhausted, Sirius and Peter stumbled through the portrait hole, and over to James and Remus.

"We tried everything." Sirius huffed. "We got nothing."

Peter wiped his running nose on his sleeve and nodded, "Place was blocked with like a million charms and then some silencing ones. It was intense."

James looked disappointed. "Damn" he groaned leaning his head against the back of the chair he was sitting in.

"Maybe we should just drop it. Lily probably has a plan to bring us in." Remus suggested.

"She's not going to leave us out of something like this." Sirius agreed.

"Yeah." James decided sadly. He could feel his heart sink. He wanted to do something. To fight. It was one thing to get in spats with Mulciber. Another to bad-mouth Death Eaters with Sirius, but he wanted action, he wanted to be on the front lines, dueling. Lily was doing that now! How could she not tell him about it?

Sirius, Remus and Peter were looking at him nervously, like they were waiting for him to explode again. He decided to let it go for the night. He had to let it go or it would destroy him. They could pick this up when life calmed down, if it ever did. He packed up his books with a disappointed air and bid them goodnight.


	5. Chapter 5: An Alley in Hogsmeade

**Chapter 5: An Alley in Hogsmeade**

There was certainly disappointment about the lack of new information about the Order, mixed with frustration but, like James suspected, it was quickly buried under an influx of homework and quidditch. He was trying to console himself by believing Lily had a plan for them after graduation, even if she wasn't ready to share it.

In the meantime, job applications and apartment searches were being talked about by every seventh year. For the lucky few with plans they relished discussing the future, while everyone else grumbled, their eyes growing more bloodshot with nerves and lack of sleep. On top of this, NEWTs, the professors reminded them every day, were coming up, and they needed to be working more, and harder, every second of every day to receive the necessary grades. Remus and Lily took this to heart, studying in the library or common room at every spare minute and even taking flashcards with them on prefect duty.

March came in with leftover winter snow, and James would often return from quidditch practices cold and upset at the team's progress. Their game against Hufflepuff at the beginning of the month gave an optimistic start to the month for Gryffindor as they came out with a win. This despite the heroic efforts of the Hufflepuff's seeker who dove headfirst into a snow drift to catch the snitch. Gryffindor was well set to take the cup if the final game against Ravenclaw went well.

Unfortunately as March left, an attack on a Ministry official's family forced several parents to withdraw their children from Hogwarts, and with them the star sixth year keeper for the Gryffindor team. James gave them no time to recover, but jumped straight back into practices every night with increasingly desperate series of lineups. To Sirius's irritation James went back to avoiding behavior that would get him sent to detention if it meant having to cancel a practice.

Without much effort the marauders did manage to get James sent to detention for the joint birthday party that was thrown for him and Remus in the school's courtyard. No amount of silencing charms were able to hold in the drunken revelry. As the night wore on and the drinking and dancing increased the noise level followed and soon three dressing-gown wrapped professors descended. No amount of drunken cajoling could get them out of the ensuing punishment.

I didn't take long before Sirius was once again bored and restless in James's absence and began making Remus and Peter run pranking sessions with him at all hours. Remus followed Sirius while reading off cards with Potions and Runes notes, and was quickly dismissed from participation. Peter was slightly more helpful in Sirius's pranking, but was never as fun to land in detention with as James.

There was great rejoicing on Sirius's part when, in early April, a general strike by the quidditch team left a sizable hole in James's schedule. Sirius swore up and down he had nothing to do with it, but he, Remus, and Peter were more than willing to fill in his free time with an adventure.

"Chocolate." Remus insisted, tossing a ball against the wall during their planning session in the back corner of the Common Room.

"Really?" James asked.

"I ran out without the Hogsmeade trip. I am in desperate need." Remus eyes bugged out a little at this comment.

"Pranking." Sirius argued for his favorite activity.

James held his hands up in mediation. "Okay, we can do both. Hogsmeade before kitchen raiding though, we'll need supplies either way. We can hit up Honeydukes, and Zonko's will still be open if we leave now." James glanced at his watch. The sun was staying out later these days but the clock was about to strike 6 and Zonko's closed at 7 on the weekends.

"Let's go then!" Sirius said, springing to his feet, "I'll grab the map." The other three followed his lead and within minutes they were at the statue of the One-Eyed Witch, map help out checking for any monitoring professors. Remus leaned over and whispered " _dissendium_ " and the witch's hump opened, granting them access to the tunnel leading to Honeydukes. Peter jumped into the tunnel followed by Sirius, and Remus, with James at the back.

As soon as their feet hit dirt in the tunnel they quickly broke into animated discussions about everything from classes to girlfriends to pranking. James could feel a stretched rubber band in his chest easing with the camaraderie, a feeling he missed.

James smiled lightly down the tunnel that was lit only by Remus's dimly lit wand as the discussion turned briefly to Peter's unfortunate love life. That particular topic dwindled quickly and they had to move on to discuss whether Sirius writing his final Defense Against the Dark Arts research paper on werewolves was cheating or not.

"You're just mad because you didn't think of it" James tried to convince Remus, who mumbled something into the dark then replied,

"I'm really more interested in researching things that could kill me rather than researching something that has already tried."

"Denial" Sirius and James said to each other. Remus walked ahead out of annoyance and a minute later was the first to reach the trap door into Honeydukes. A wide smile was plastered on his face when James and Sirius crawled out into the storeroom.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "What do you want chocoholic?" he asked pulling out his wallet. A rumor had begun to spread around Honeydukes about a benevolent thief, and they didn't want their good will to be lost by stealing.

"I actually have money this time." Remus said sheepishly, turning away from Sirius and looking for the box with the cheapest chocolate. Sirius gave James a sideways look and James wandered off to find Honeydukes Finest for the next full moon. They dropped the exact change for their purchases on the front desk and snuck out onto the street, their treats stuffed deep into their pockets.

The night was pitch black as the light of the thin crescent moon couldn't penetrate the dreary spring clouds. A few street lamps lit up the main road as well as the few lights still on in Zonko's, and farther down The Three Broomsticks, but in the dim light the usually vibrant street felt surprisingly eerie. The four boys could feel the heaviness seep into them as they crossed the street and walked the short distance to Zonko's, not passing another soul. Sirius and James rushed in for a hurried purchase while Remus and Peter stood outside to eat their long awaited bars of chocolate.

Peter was just licking melted dark chocolate off his fingers when the sound of a boot crunching gravel right next to him made him jump. He and Remus looked around nervously, expecting James to pull off his cloak at any second and spray them with some new Zonko's delight, though they knew he hadn't brought the cloak on this trip.

Remus held his hands up against the possible onslaught but in doing so noticed the strange outline of a person. This wasn't an invisibility cloak, someone had disillusioned themself. In the dark they were practically invisible, but Remus could just see an outline. He whipped his wand out of his pocket stumbling away from the storefront. Anyone wandering around Hogsmeade invisible probably wasn't up to anything good. He held his wand steadily in the direction of the watery figure. Peter, noticing Remus's reaction, hurriedly stepped behind his friend and pulled his own wand out of his pocket, but couldn't figure out where to aim.

Remus blinked trying to keep the figure in sight, and from a place a few feet in front of him sparks flew out of the sky in a flurry of red and orange. Remus threw up a deflection protecting himself and Peter, but his hair was on end now. Whoever it was, was after them, or didn't mind going through them to get to what they were after. The figure wasn't clear enough for Remus to make an ID. He shot a visibility spell back into the dark but the adversary sidestepped it and it took Remus several moments to relocate them. " _Stupify._ " Remus yelled, deciding an invisible enemy was not a person to trifle with. The spell was deflected and was countered with another stunning spell.

Remus grumbled angrily. He put his hand on Peter's chest and pushed him to an arm's length behind him. "Go get someone." He commanded. As much as he didn't want to be left alone, he wanted help to come, and if Peter wasn't going to be helpful he at least wanted him out of his dodging space.

Remus settled himself into a full dueling stance as an unrecognizable spell flashed out of the air. Remus deflected it then countered with a visibility spell in attempt to make his target easier to spot. It missed its mark so he followed up with a series of spells, each dodged or countered as a few spell were sent back his way.

He shot a stunning spell forward only for a separate spell to come whizzing at him from his right. He jumped backward his heart leaping at the close call. Was there someone else out there, or had he been aiming at blank space? He squinted into the dark as another spell shot at him from the same direction. He returned fire where he expected the possible second wizard to be but an ice spell was suddenly shot at him from his front and within a second his left side was frozen in a layer of thick ice.

There were two people, at least, he realized. Remus decided to hold a defensive position, while trying to melt the ice off his immobile left arm. He deflected two more spells, a third burning a hole through the bottom of his robes. He could smell burning cloth as he deflected a jinx into Zonko's wall. James and Sirius flinched out of the way of the debris as they dashed out of the shop, followed by a young woman who must have been working the register. Remus watched as at least one of the invisible blurs rushed into the alley next to the shop. He took off after them and behind him Peter, James, and Sirius were calling, trying to find out what was going on as the store clerk bolted back into Zonko's and locked the door.

Remus shot a spell into the pitch-black alleyway. In the tighter space, with a retreating adversary he struck lucky and a body appeared twenty feet ahead of him. Avery. His usually perfectly combed-over hair was disheveled. He turned angrily to them and shot another spell. Remus deflected it as another whizzed out of the dark from behind. James stopped dead. "Where?" He asked as Avery began sending every jinx he could think of in their direction. They were distracted by what they could see until another spell was shot from behind by their second, still unseen, assailant.

Between Avery and his invisible friend there was a flurry of spells that James, Sirius, Peter and Remus could just barely keep from striking them. A throwing spell hit Sirius sending him into a wall. A scaling hex hit Peter in the shoulder sending small scales, and soon shoulder to elbow resembled a dried out lizard's back. In retaliation James managed to hit Avery, and in his pain and anger Remus stunned him just as the invisible stranger behind them petrified Peter toppling him to the ground.

It was three to one James realized delightedly until three spells shot at them from the direction of the main road. As they all turned to look a stunner hit Remus and he fell to his knees before falling forward to the ground.

James cursed inwardly. Sparks erupted from the end of the alley suddenly overwhelming the remaining fighters. James hissed in pain as a spell sliced through his trouser leg leaving a deep cut from knee to ankle. A burning spell briefly caught Sirius on fire, sparks were lighting up the small space. James stumbled as he tried to see the new arrivals through the darkness, smoke, and spark of spells.

Sirius scrambled to James's side deflecting spells as the figure of Mulciber became clear. He was stalking haughtily down the narrow alley, wand raised and a self-gratified smile pasted on his face. Four to two, James counted. Sirius stood his ground as Mulciber's companions became clear. Behind his leader Regulus walked with his head up, looking pompous and in control. On Mulciber's other side was the fifth year from Lily's Birthday. He must have worked his way back into the leader's good graces.

"Look what we caught." Mulciber sneered stopping a few feet from the pair and holding a hand up to stop the onslaught of spells from his side. Sirius attempted to shoot off another hex but it was quickly deflected. They were very outnumbered. In defiance Sirius spat at Mulciber's feet and the Slytherin angrily sent a spell that sealed Sirius mouth shut with a layer of thick black tar. Before the dark haired boy could reach to scrape it off his hands were bound behind his back and his legs were twisted with ropes. Sirius thrashed against the tight bindings as he tripped onto his knees.

"Mulciber what the hell are you doing here?" James growled, pulling together as much strength as he could muster. He tried not to look to his right, to Sirius.

"You are woefully outnumbered James, and remember my promise? We're not on school grounds." Mulciber's smile grew to a broad, hungry one. He brought his wand hand down to the sleeve of his robe and slowly pulled it up. There, even in the black alleyway James could see the outline of the dark mark. "You like that, James? Think it's pretty?" He paused and stepped in closer to James. Hate and anger boiled inside the Gryffindor. He pulled his wand up but was stopped by Mulciber's hand; a painful grip over his wrist. "I got mine early you see, usually you get them when you graduate, but I've been a very good boy. Killing you would be a cherry on top of a very nice month."

Mulciber's leer suddenly changed focus to Sirius and James's eyes followed the Slytherin's gaze. Mulciber leaned in close to Sirius and sneered with his icy breath. "Think, this act might be the thing that allows your brother to get his mark early too." Sirius reared back and head-butted Mulciber as hard as he could. The action caused Mulciber to stumble back, releasing James's wrist. James raised his wand once more, but to his surprise Regulus struck out with a disarming spell, James's wand falling to the ground a few feet away.

Mulciber raised a hand to his head, but he didn't look injured. "Or perhaps not." He said then pointedly to Regulus added, "I fear four dead bodies might ring suspicious to the Headmaster, and I'd like to graduate. I think this game will be more fun after we graduate anyway. When you lot are members of Dumbledore's little Order? Then killing you will bring so much more pleasure to our Master. Unless you're thinking of joining him?" Mulciber kept his eyes on them a sarcastic sparkle evident behind the dark green irises. James's glare grew stronger and eventually Mulciber turned to lead his crew back out of the alley. Before James could count his odds, he dove for his wand, grabbed it and quickly sent a stinging hex at Mulciber's back. It was blocked by both Regulus and the fifth year.

Mulciber spun around in a flash and sent a hex back at James. James deflected it but as he was getting back to his feet a spell from the unseen assailant sent his wand flipping further away into the night. With a few strides Mulciber was once again in James's face, his wand pressed against his neck while the fifth year pointed his at Sirius warningly. Sirius's eyes flicked to James, angry and thirsty to fight.

"You keep pointing that at my neck like this will end differently. You're still just going to run." James smirked, trying his hardest to be in control.

Mulciber's nostrils flared, " _Aguar_ " he whispered. James had never heard this spell, didn't know what it would do, but almost instantly he began to understand. He could feel his lungs clenching, twitching. He would have struck out but his arms and legs suddenly felt heavy, out of his control. He coughed hard, spewing water onto Mulciber's shoulder and the ground. The leader didn't look phased but instead grabbed the front of James's robes and held him up, staring into his face maliciously.

Sirius's eyes grew wide and he fought against his bonds as James began to feel himself drowning. Water was rushing into his lungs. He couldn't expel it fast enough now. He felt water burning in his nose and rushing up his throat, pressure rising in his head. Panic seized him as he thrashed in Mulciber's grip. Fighting to breathe, fighting to stay conscience. Seconds felt like hours as he fought the spell, the water gushing from inside him keeping him from breathing.

Just as Mulciber's face began to swim and darken he leaned in to James's ear and threatened in a whisper, "The _crier_ will be the key for our victory." An image of Lily flashed in front of his eyes, but nothing was making clear sense. James could feel blackness around him as Mulciber leaned back and with another word the water stopped coming. James coughed up water, shaking and spitting in desperation for clear air. Mulciber dropped him onto the hard brick ground laughing quietly before turning to leave.

In his slowly clearing vision James could see Sirius still thrashing against his bindings, but James was too busy puking and coughing up water to do anything to help. He was fighting for air, any air.

Behind them Remus began to stir. James tried to call out but it was lost in a sputtering gasp, and another coughing fit. He was weak and winded. The figures of his friends were black silhouettes flashing in an out of his spotty vision as they moved around him.

Remus pulled himself to his knees before coming to himself enough to hear Sirius's incomprehensible screaming. He reached around for his wand that had fallen a few short steps away and bolted to his feet. In a quick assessment of the situation realized he needed to free a struggling Sirius first. He unlashed his arms and cut the bindings from around his legs as Sirius tried to scratch the black mass off his face. It came away in thick sticky clumps, but soon he could talk. "Unpetrify Wormtail." He commanded before scrambling over to James to check on him. James had barely caught his breath and was staring around dizzily, body shaking. His leg was bleeding heavily into the pool of water he was kneeling in. When the figure of Sirius appeared out of the darkness James reached out grasping for his robes.

"Let's get out of here." Remus suggested helping Peter to his feet.

"We need to fix James first." Sirius noted pulling apart the slash in his friend's trousers to look at the deep red cut. Peter and Remus came over and knelt down next to him. Remus lit the end of his wand.

"Where's my wand?" James asked looking desperately at Sirius.

"I'll grab it" Sirius said but when he tried to move away from James to find it, the former clung on to the front of his robes. "James I can't get it if you're holding onto me." Sirius tried to explain struggling to detach his hand, but he gave up when James's grasp didn't loosen.

Peter and Remus were looking closely at the wound on his leg. Peter was turning green around the edges but looked determined to help. "We can bind it tight, but even I can't do cuts that deep. That's worse than anything Moony's ever done to us." Peter admitted. He took a deep breath then felt the bile rise in his throat. He stood up and walked to the other side of the alley before puking.

While Remus quickly went to fetch James's wand, Sirius helped him turn so he would be sitting in a way that Peter could eventually bind his leg. He readjusted him away from the pile of water and helped him lie down while Peter collected himself.

"Pete we need you." Sirius encouraged desperately. Across the alley Peter spat onto the ground, breathed in and walked back to them. He knelt at James's feet.

James hissed and grabbed tighter at Sirius's shirt as Peter readjusted his leg. When Peter was satisfied with the angle he slowly used a binding spell. He slid his wand down James's leg as white cloth wrapped itself tightly around his the injury, hopefully slowing down the bleeding and adding support for their walk back. James shuddered and exhaled heavily as Peter pulled his wand away. Sirius gave James a second to breathe after Peter was done before telling everyone they needed to go.

Remus and Sirius lifted an unsteady James to his feet. He was still shaking and now that the adrenalin and fear were wearing off the pain in his leg was becoming overwhelming.

"We're walking now James." Sirius tried to warn, in the same way he warned Remus when it was his turn to help Madam Pomfrey get him up after the full moon. James nodded and held himself tighter around Sirius's shoulder. Remus lit his wand and walked ahead in case there were any more surprises. Sounds in the dark were making him nervous. Anyone could be out at this hour, and suddenly the silence of the street didn't seem like such an oddity, it was a terror. They needed to get back to Honeydukes without being spotted. Even with the attack, they knew without a doubt, they would be in deep trouble if they were caught off school grounds on a weekend, at night.

Peter watched their back as Sirius helped James hobble back to the sweets shop. Sirius helped him scale down the ladder into the tunnel and for the rest of the trip Peter and Remus took turns working with him to help hold James's weight as they made their way slowly back to the castle.

For the long walk Sirius refused to give up his spot, instead making cheap jokes at the Slytherin's expense and trying to keep everyone's mind far away from the present.

"I can switch with you Sirius?" Peter asked as they neared the end of the walk and he could see James's weight slowly falling onto his friend's shoulders.

"I'm fine."

"I'm just offering." Peter replied, as they got closer to the one-eyed witch. "We still need to get to the Hospital Wing." They shared a brief look before all silently deciding that this was worthy of Madam Pomfrey's expertise and she had probably seen enough of them not to bother asking questions.

Peter pulled out the map and checked the hallway at the top of the passageway. They struggled getting everyone to the top but they made it. As they stepped into the well-lit hall Remus noticed, with worry, the small trail of blood seeping from James's bandages. "No pranking tonight?" James whispered in between heavy breaths to Sirius who was slowly holding more and more of James's weight.

"Not tonight." Sirius agreed quietly. Peter and Remus switched places and now that they could see, Remus attempted to sluice more of the black goo off Sirius's face before they got to their destination.

Peter and Sirius walked James sideways into the room, James almost slumping to the ground.

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when Madam Pomfrey asked them no questions but pointed to a bed and began quickly unwrapping the binding from James's leg. She tisked, seeing the gash, but didn't look overwhelmed. With a mix of potions and a spell the wound was sealed and James laid his head back on a pillow, one hand still wrapped firmly around Sirius's forearm.

Madam Pomfrey surveyed the other three. She found no obvious injuries so nodded at them, told them James would be in her care for the night and bustled off to attend a first year who had melted a potions project to her arm. Sirius dropped all his weight into the guest chair at James's side. He slowly tried to detach James's vice like grip from him, but settled with it there when he couldn't get it off. Remus sat himself on the edge of the neighboring bed and Peter slumped down next to James's feet. They were tired and a little shocked as they let the night's events sink in. The silence lasted for half an hour until James's eyes flickered open.

"You think he really meant it?" He asked abruptly.

"Waz that?" Sirius asked having almost slipped off to sleep from boredom.

"That we'll be worth more when we're members of the Order? That we'll be members?" James asked in a reverential voice barely over a whisper; as if, if he said it any louder it would break the spell, and the Order would disappear.

"Yeah, has to be true if Mulciber said it." Sirius replied dryly. James let go of Sirius arm for the first time in order to punch him in the shoulder. It was light in James's weakened state and Sirius couldn't help but smile and agree, "We're in now."

"Totally in." Remus nodded. "Too bad if we ever tell anyone about this we'll be expelled."

"God forbid!" Sirius mocked. Remus gave him a look that said it would be awful then turned back to James.

"That was awesome." James said with a slurring smile, about to drift off to sleep again.

"Only you could say that that was awesome." Remus chided then he turned to flop fully onto the bed he was on. The springs creaked loudly in the quiet infirmary.

"Oh but it was…" was the last thing James said before slipping off to sleep.

The others stayed as long as Madam Pomfrey would let them, but since it wasn't a full moon and they were all covered in dirt, vomit, and blood she made them leave to clean themselves up, tsking the whole time at Remus for getting a bed dirty.

They returned the next morning with breakfast stolen from the kitchen and James's planning notebook.

Lily joined them an hour later and by then they had a cover story infused with just enough of the rumors they had heard going around to convince Lily they weren't up to anything out of the ordinary.

"What were you lot doing?"

"Um well it's complicated" Sirius started in, as planned. He made a strange motion with his hands as he continued, "It involved some wire, a packet of Bubbling's Best Gum, a. . . well you'd have to see it. It's hard to describe-"

"I don't care about your prank Sirius. You guys shouldn't be picking fights with Mulciber. He's bad news."

"In my defense I was picking a fight with Snivellus." Sirius smirked. "Mulciber was delightful collateral."

"And your brother?" Lily quipped ignoring Sirius nickname for Severus.

"He'll write to mother, but what can she do to me at this point, really?"

Lily stood down from the argument, but shooed Sirius out of his seat next to James's bed. James smiled at her, enjoying the look of her freshly combed hair as it fell over her shoulders, and the annoyed frown on her face. She slipped her hand into his.

"Anyway we're just preparing for the inevitable." Remus said from the neighboring bed, as he poked through a side table drawer. Lily looked around to him.

"What?"

Remus shrugged, he had been preparing for this moment and he needed to choose the right words. "Fighting Mulciber of course. The whole lot of them actually."

"You are all still going on about creating an army?" She asked turning to look at James. He looked mildly surprised about the turn of the conversation. Remus smiled inwardly. She was making this easy.

"We're joining the Order, I think I know who we need to talk to about it." Remus smirked. Half a year was more than enough time for him to figure out who was in charge if Lily had sorted it out in two months. Lily let go of James's hand and looked at the gathered group accusingly.

"The Order?" She clarified.

Remus nodded.

"I think you should wait until we're out of school to go looking for them." Lily stated, trying to keep calm.

"Why?" James blurted. "We're ready to fight now, we're of age." He pushed himself up onto his elbows to stare at her.

"Because we have to think of the long term. This war will end and where will we be if we haven't graduated, haven't done as best we can on NEWTs. You and Sirius still want to be aurors someday don't you?" She asked.

"Defeating Voldemort is more important." James argued back.

Lily whipped around on him. "I know it is." She snapped then added with a hint of worry, "I just need you all to stay in school a little longer. I'm not ready for us to fight."

"But you are ready to fight?" Remus asked, lacing his fingers in his lap and giving her a pensive stare. James was glad Remus had spoken because he would have fessed up to spying on her soon, and to a much worse reaction. Lily's eyes widened at Remus and he met her stare with a calm collected one.

"I'm not-" she sputtered.

"Lily I know about the Order. I know what you've been up to." Remus continued. Lily's mouth opened and shut, her eyes still locked on Remus's. She wanted to deny it again, but couldn't, not this time.

None of the others said anything. They could speak up and accuse Remus of not telling them, but it would seem forced, fake. If they stayed quiet Lily might not suspect that they all knew, that they had all been spying. She would hold spying against James and Sirius, but she wouldn't hold it against Remus. Deep down they knew that she had always had a soft spot for him; the quiet marauder, the study partner, the one who would just as likely talk them out of a prank as talk them into one. They could see Lily bursting at the seams to be mad at him, but she couldn't do it.

"Fine." She eventually blurted out. Then in a forced whisper added "I joined the Order of the Phoenix, are you happy?" She broke her stare with Remus and snapped her glare around at the others. "I didn't want you all to know because you'd get distracted by it. You need to graduate, and Dumbledore thinks so too."

"You talked to Dumbledore about us?" James asked sitting the rest of the way up excitedly.

Lily rolled her eyes, not enthused about having to divulge something that would add to any of their egos. "Of course! You're on the top of his recruiting list. He's snatching you up the second you graduate." Sirius threw his hands in the air and began a short victory lap around the infirmary. James whooped from his bed punching the air and Remus couldn't help but high-five Sirius as he passed, a broad grin plastered on his face. The only person who didn't look thrilled was Peter, who was remembering the fear and mess of the night before with trepidation. Mulciber had won that round, fair and square, and he couldn't help but wonder if this was the beginning of being on the losing side of many battles. "But you have to wait until you graduate." Lily reminded trying to temper their excitement.

"Why? We shouldn't have to, not now that we know about it!" Sirius grinned.

"Doesn't matter. Dumbledore doesn't want you."

"He'll want us after we talk to him about it. Won't he James?"

"We'll promise to finish our classwork, and-" James started.

"NEWTs, all Outstandings on everything." Sirius pitched in.

"I'll actually show up for Head Boy duties."

"and no more-" Sirius stopped himself, "-fewer pranks." He corrected.

"Fewer pranks means less time in detention." Remus noted thoughtfully. Lily was trying desperately not to smile at the boys' wide-eyed optimism. They looked like children on Christmas day.

"No." She reiterated.

"We're asking anyway." Sirius bristled.

"You can't! I promised him I wouldn't tell you."

"You didn't tell us." Remus reminded.

"Yeah. Remus did." Sirius said, pointing over to his friend who grinned deviously.

Lily could feel herself losing, so conceded, "You can ask him then, just leave me out of it." She looked up and, before the boys could say anything else, she decided to back herself out of the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was walking into the room wondering about the noise and not looking particularly pleased. Lily wanted no part of the coming "conversation".

"We'll do that Lily-dear" Sirius sang as she opened the door and slipped out. James and Sirius high-fived and James gave Remus a thumbs-up. Madam Pomfrey stopped at the edge of James's bed bearing her classic stern look, with hands on her hips for emphasis. "I think you're doing well enough to leave Mr. Potter." She decided upon a quick inspection. The color had returned to his face and there was barely a trace of the cut from the night before. He was smiling and bright. "Now get out of my infirmary." She said with a good-natured wave of her hands. James basically jumped into his clothes while the others waited, and together they hurried off to the Common Room feeling happier than they had in months.

They asked Dumbledore the next day after classes; the four of them standing in a row on the far side of his desk. Dumbledore smiled, said he was expecting them, but was adamant that they could do nothing more until they graduated. James did his best job convincing and conniving, and Sirius tried his best to wrangle a 'yes' out of the Headmaster but they left the meeting haggard and unhappy, but comforted that the second they graduated they would be full fledge members of the order.

"Graduate." Dumbledore had directed giving them a serious look over the top of his half-moon spectacles.

"On the bright side" Sirius had to admit, "this means we don't have to give up on our pranking." and by Wednesday morning half the food at the Slytherin table had learned to slither. The infamous pranksters enjoyed the morning watching their rivals try to stab their breakfasts into submission, or squeal as food crawled onto their laps. Even better, none of the professors could pin the blame on them.

* * *

"What are you rushing off to?" Sirius asked to James's back as he bolted out of Defense Against the Dark Arts room at the end of classes that day.

"Promised Lily a picnic on the roof!" James called back. The marauders all turned to look at her as she hid behind a book, her face turning red.

"It's romantic." She argued, smiling uncontrollably.

"Fine, tell your boyfriend we'll be down at Hagrid's if he wants to join us after his date." Sirius mumbled, feigning annoyance. Lily smiled and slipped out of the room as quickly as possible.

An hour later, her eyes covered, she stepped out onto the astronomy tower roof.

"Ta-da" James said uncovering her eyes. A blanket was spread out and a basket was overflowing with soda, bread, grapes, and a bag of her favorite muggle potato chips. Spreading out from the blanket were green vines blossoming with red flowers.

"Did you steal those?" She asked leaning down to touch the flowers that seemed to be filling the entire space with the scent of a spring morning.

"Borrowed from the greenhouses. I'll take them back in the morning." James said from behind her. "I will always return things I steal for you."

"Romantic." Lily deadpanned, turning away from the flowers to look at James's hopeful face. From the moment she had agreed to go to Puddyfoots with him, he had had that look in his eyes. The one that said he had won the lottery. "So what food do we get?" She asked trying to sound sweet after her snarky comment.

James slipped around her and pulled her onto the blanket he had charmed for softness. A few nights sitting uncomfortably on the stone roof told him such a charm was necessary. He slowly unpacked the picnic basket of food and drink. They ate slowly savoring the taste of Hogwarts cooking and each other's company.

James finally reached for the muggle bag of potato chips as stars began to twinkle overhead. Lily didn't want to ask where he had gotten the junk food (Sirius had a penchant for getting strange and possibly illegal things shipped to school) and as he popped the bag open she could feel herself craving their taste, delighted that he had gotten them. She realized in that moment that he knew they were her favorite, and he had to have gone out of his way to get them to Hogwarts. The fact that James, the boy she had seen for years as a jerk and terror, could show her so much love made her heart sing in a way she couldn't have imagined even a year ago. A smile crept onto her face without her willing it, but it was tempered suddenly by a thought that had been bothering her for days. As James offered her a chip, holding it out between long skinny fingers, she knew she should spit it out.

"I wanted to talk to you actually." Lily admitted quietly without taking the chip. James put the bag down, suddenly nervous. "No, don't panic! I just wanted to explain myself." Lily added hurriedly. James smiled trying not to look overly relieved. Lily reached out for his hands. They were warm and covered hers perfectly. "I didn't want to tell you about the Order." She said.

"I know." James told her plainly. "You were rather successful at-"

"Just let me- " Lily cut in. She breathed in sorting out her thoughts. "My mom died about a year ago." James nodded mutely, not sure how that was related. "Things changed fast, my sister got married, and you, came into my life and everything was different." Lily hurried through the list, trying not to drag up all her heavy memories from the past year. "I was scared that if you knew about the Order you would drop everything and leave to fight, and I couldn't handle that change." Lily twisted her fingers around in James's hand until they were fisted into balls. James waited to see if he was allowed to talk. When Lily didn't speak for several moments he slowly unfolded her balled up hands and held them in gently in his.

"Ok."

"Ok?" Lily asked.

James tried to process what he wanted to say in the same way Lily could so beautiful explain herself. "I was really pissed that you didn't tell me." James admitted looking up into her eyes. Lily looked apologetic, but it was her turn to stay quiet. "but I think I know why you did it."

"I didn't want you to get hurt, or drop out of school."

"I know, and I might have, I don't know." James admitted with an acknowledging smile. "but you didn't trust me." He added squinting at her sadly. Lily nodded and bit her lip.

"I didn't trust the Order either." Lily added.

"Who knows what they could have really been up to?" James clarified, and Lily didn't need to nod for him to know that was the reason. He breathed in, "I promise to finish NEWTs then." James said.

Lily looked pensive then agreed, " and I promise to tell you about the meetings, at least what's not super classified, and about my trainings, so you and the others can be prepared."

"And you promise to stay safe?" James tacked on, a flicker of memory coming up though he couldn't remember from where. Lily bit her lip, "At least until I join the Order?" James bargained. Lily nodded slowly.

"Deal." James said, relaxing.

"Deal." Lily agreed. James pecked her on the cheek and pulled her to his side on the blanket. "I love you." He told her, smiling into her neck.

"I love potato chips so-" Lily smirked and reached around James for the crackling bag, and James momentarily fought her off, but when she had crawled on top of him in search of the food he conceded and handed her the bag. She smiled and settled back into his arm. "I love you too, you know." She sighed happily.


	6. Chapter 6: Quidditch and Traps

**Chapter 6: Quidditch and Traps**

"We need a plan." James said scratching out another formation in his book. The May afternoon was warm and James ad Sirius couldn't keep themselves locked up in the tower pouring over NEWT study books any longer. They had left the other three to their studying and walked down to the lake.

Sirius looked down at the butchered lineup James had written. Since Delilah had withdrawn from school the keeper position was still uncertain and the Ravenclaw game was coming up faster than James would have liked. If they won by fifty points they gained the house cup. "I mean we can't actually let Peter and Remus get real jobs can we? There's a war to fight! They should be as free to fight as we are." James continued, exasperated.

Sirius changed his attention from the book to James's face. "So not talking about quidditch?"

"No, Parker's taking the Keeper position." James brushed off.

"Parker's not great."

"No, but as long as the Ravenclaw team never gets their hands on the quaffle, it's not going to be a big deal." James bragged. "No, Pete's moving back home, he's got a job all set up with some bureaucratic nonsense at the Ministry of Health."

"Awful"

"The worst."

"He'll love it."

"Most certainly."

"and Moony?" They shared a meaningful look, then James turned his attention back to his notebook and Sirius picked up a rock to chuck into the lake.

"Avery's got a job in the Ministry." Sirius announced gloomily. "That puss-bag kiss-ass has a job, and that bookstore in Diagon Alley's going to fire Moony the second they get a whiff of his furry-little-problem. If he gets the job at all." Sirius grumbled.

James tapped his quill against his notebook splattering ink across the page. "We're not going to let that happen though. I mean with enough polyjuice potion we could just pretend to be him for a few days every month."

Sirius smirked at the idea and chucked another rock into the lake. A tentacle sprung up to bat at it. "Yeah great, instead of disappearing once a month, he'll just become an idiot. We know nothing about ancient Runes and 15th century folklore literature. . . stuff. . ." Sirius pointed out. He stooped to pick a few more rocks out of the grass. "You and Lily found a place to live yet?" Sirius inquired.

James sucked in a breath. "What if Lily didn't want to move in with me?"

Sirius looked over, surprised. "Whoa, whoa what?"

"No, just, she wants to wait 'till we're married to live together."

Sirius looked skeptical.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't understand the many whims of women."

"I mean but she's not planning to like-"

"What?"

"Like make you wait 'till. . . "

James made a face. "God Sirius, you can't ask that!"

"I ask you that all the time."

"Not about Lily you can't!"

"Fine." Sirius paused. "but she's not. . ."

"Lily and I will be sure to notify you when we 'get it on', until then you can keep your dirty, nosy mind out of it." James set his notebook to the side and reclined onto his elbows. "No I just think she's looking forward to being kind of independent, and I don't think her mom would have approved of her moving in without a wedding license."

"Yuck, Moms." Sirius grumbled.

James smiled at Sirius's unending hatred for his family but countered, "Lily seemed to like hers." They were both briefly guilty about bringing up Lily's mother. The one year anniversary of her passing hadn't been that long ago. She was Lily's last parent, and James and Sirius were both still shaken by how long she had sobbed into James's shirt.

"So has she found a place yet?" Sirius asked dragging them out of their memories.

James shook his head.

Sirius rolled the rocks he held around in his hand a few times looking thoughtfully out over the pond's glittering surface, "Maybe Remus and Lily can bunk together? I mean we can use this to our advantage."

This time James made a horrified face, "Gross, no!"

"Merlin Prongs!" Sirius said hastily, "What I mean is Remus is never gonna let us pay for a place for him. He'd go homeless before that. But if we paid for him and Lily to have a place. . ."

"He might just go for it." James realized, contemplating the possibility.

"We'd have to talk them into it. Then put a lock on his door." Sirius decided. "For modesty's sake."

"Of course." James agreed, thinking over his previous conversation with Remus, wondering how much he believed Remus saw Lily as just a friend. He sighed then added, "We talk Lily into it first though, then get her to talk Moony into it. He'll never suspect we're the masterminds."

"You're underestimating his suspicious nature." Sirius smiled, glad that James was going along with his plan.

"I'm overestimating his naivety." James countered.

"Speak of the devil." Sirius added, squinting back toward the castle where Remus and Peter were walking toward them. "Act natural James, find some ginger girl to moon over or something, he'll never suspect us." Sirius mocked.

"Shut up."

Peter and Remus reached them moments later, as unsuspicious as ever. They sat down with their books and papers next to James.

"Where's Lily?" James asked.

"Training for the Order." Remus replied. James groaned and fell onto the grass.

"At least she promised to tell us about it." Peter reminded and James had to agree.

A silence passed over the group until a thought crossed James's mind. It was out of left field, but he had been meaning to bring it up with the others for awhile. He lifted himself up onto his elbows and asked, "What do you think Mulciber was doing out in Hogsmeade? I've been thinking about it and I can't think of a solid reason."

"All of the Slytherins really?" Remus added. Sirius stuffed his hands into his pockets, thinking of his brother. Remus continued, "You think Severus is a full fledged Death Eater now?"

"Snivellus?" James scoffed raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I mean he was there too." When the other marauders looked at him, dumbfounded Remus added, "He was the other person under the disillusionment charm." He looked each of them in the eye. They had used Snape as an alibi, but hadn't realized he was actually in the alley that night. "You didn't know? Mulciber does brawny, walks right at you. Disillusionment is sneaky, smart, says Snape all over it," They all shook their heads 'no'. "Well, he must have said something when he grabbed Avery. I heard him just as I was waking up." Remus shook his head as if clearing a cobweb. "He'll be one soon anyway." He sighed.

"Doesn't surprise me, the git." Sirius spat.

Remus squinted at Sirius but didn't say anything. "When's the game this weekend?" He inquired instead, changing the subject.

"Saturday at ten, it's gonna be one to remember." James replied with a broad smile that turned into a grimace when Remus began counting something off on his fingers. "Seriously?" He whined at his friend.

"Monday." Remus replied tilting his head to the side, "I'll be there." He added, and James breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Well whether we win or not at least we'll have some fun next week." James said with smile to Sirius.

"Oh I have some fantastic ideas!" Sirius smirked back. Remus shot them both his full-moon defense and pulled a book out of his bag to begin flipping through it for obscure arithmancy theories.

* * *

NEWTs were three weeks away, and the stress the seventh years had been feeling before had been tripled with a dousing of anxiety to top it off. One Ravenclaw girl had been sent to the infirmary already with an overdose of stay-awake in her system. A day later a Hufflepuff had had a breakdown and was force-fed dreamless sleep.

James and Sirius prided themselves on taking everything in stride. Furthermore they refused to show any fear, but in some dark corner of his brain James wondered if he should be more like Remus; pouring endlessly over books, scratching things down on notecards and whispering spells to himself while they walked down the hall. Remus, unlike James, had something to prove though, and no room for mistakes. Even an O in every subject wouldn't get him far outside Hogwarts, but that didn't stop him from trying. All of this was pushed to the side as the week ended and the final Gryffindor quidditch match of the year arrived.

The seventh year boys barely had a chance to wish James good luck Saturday morning as he bolted out of the dorm, nerves eating him alive. It was the last game of his Hogwarts quidditch career and he was dreading it and savoring it with an equal mixture of panic and enthusiasm.

He didn't show up to breakfast and so Remus, Peter, and Sirius ate together then walked out to the pitch where they met up with Lily and a few other Gryffindor girls in the stands. "Juliet Moorse", Sirius said with a wink, "how have you been?"

"Better without you." She snapped back, but Sirius didn't seem to notice, and planted himself on the other side of Peter and Remus where a leggy Hufflepuff sixth year was chatting animatedly with her friends.

"Hello lovely." He said with a smile, slipping into her line of sight. Peter and Remus rolled their eyes at each other, but when the girl looked past Sirius and asked, "who's your friend?" Both boys perked up.

"We're supposed to win today." Lily called over the noise. Peter, sitting next to her, nodded.

"Favored to, but we need fifty extra points to seal first."

Out on the pitch the two teams were walking out. Red and blue cloaks fluttered in the light spring breeze. A deafening roar erupted from the stands and even Sirius took a moment from his flirting to cheer on the Red and Gold. James held himself calmly, despite how he had looked that morning. Now he presented as the essence of a leader, marching perfectly in place at the front of the line of players, head held high, eyes scanning the playing field, weather, and the opposing team for any helpful information. Lily and Peter tried to work out the position each of the players had landed in after James's shuffling of the roster while Sirius tried to drag Remus over to his conversation as a wingman.

The teams lined up and James dutifully shook the Ravenclaw captain's hand, their eyes meeting in equally fevered determination. The crowd quieted as they went back to their places in the lineup. The speakers cracked to life and a buoyant voice began introducing the players. When James's name came up there was roaring applause from the stands. He and fellow chaser, Watts, were well-loved seventh years and no Gryffindor was ready to let them graduate and leave the team.

"This is set to be a beautiful game ladies and gentleman! The day is warm and the teams are prepared. From what I've heard the Gryffindor captain has basically run his team into the ground, but that should give _us_ a good game today folks. Oh look! Balls will be released in three. Two. And we're off". Fourteen brooms rocketed into the air, an overenthusiastic player aboard each.

The Gryffindors already had the quaffle, and Watt was rushing the Ravenclaw keeper. "They aren't starting slow on this one." With eyes on the stout player the Ravenclaw keeper didn't know what to do when he dropped the ball to James who winged it through the far right post.

"There goes the dynamic duo again stealing the ball away from Dent, and ooh, first bludger making a change in the game right to Potter's side!" Sirius stood to boo the Ravenclaw's beater. "The quaffle is picked up by Russel, Russel to Dent, it's time to test Gryffindor's back up, back up, back up, keeper, and it's good! 10-10 on the pitch with no sign of the snitch!" The Ravenclaws in the stands stood to cheer the point but the quaffle was soon scooped up by a Gryffindor chaser.

"Gryffindor's going to pull ahead." Sirius yelled over the racket to the Hufflepuff girls. Hufflepuff was already dead set to be last again this year. Hardworking though the Hufflepuff team was, the year hadn't been good to them. They were uncreative in their plays against Ravenclaw, safe in their plays against Gryffindor, and kind in their playing against Slytherin. This year, at least, they had no chance. "You're rooting for us though right?" Sirius asked. The girls looked at each other.

"We're trying not to root." One of them explained. "Her boyfriend's in Ravenclaw, but Wallace is one of our best friends." She nodded to the Gryffindor team's seeker who was doing laps around the pitch, her head whipping around in search of the elusive gold ball.

"Really? I haven't seen you around practice." Sirius said with a charming smile.

"20-10" Gryffindor!" Remus punched Sirius in the arm so that he would cheer. He stood and screamed for James, then began a loud chant of "Go! Go! Gryffindor!" that was quickly picked up by the crowd.

"and it's 30-10 already on the pitch and the game is heating up! Oh, Wellington, from Ravenclaw takes a bat to the side, and there's a call on the field. Against Gryffindor. That lot needs to simmer down." A Ravenclaw player flew up to take a shot, naturally blasting it past the new Gryffindor keeper. Sirius groaned as he sat down, scanning the field for James who was plotting with his fellow chasers.

The wind was perfect, the air, not too warm, not too cold. If James could have picked any day to play, he would have picked a cold and dreary one because he felt his team would have an upper hand in that environment, but for the sake of a beautiful last day to play, this was it. The audience swam past as he and his fellow chasers raced toward the far goal, a formation they could do in their sleep, a figure eight twist with backward passing. The other team's beaters couldn't keep track of the players and the chasers were having trouble keeping an eye on the ball. Up, down, right under Wells, over Little, up, up, down, catch, throw. "And it's . . . caught by Williamson. That's a blow to the Gryffindor offense." The keeper passed the ball to his left, to Tiffen. James had been playing against him for three years and James knew he wouldn't drop the ball for anything. He had skills, and was known for pulling tricks with the quaffle, just for the sake of showing off. James looked to his beaters, swinging their bats menacingly. It was up to them.

The points slowly racked up, it was a long game despite the perfect weather conditions. There had only been two sightings of the snitch, both being foiled by fierce seeker competition. Ravenclaw wasn't fighting for anything but third place, but they were putting up a fight nonetheless.

Sirius was just about to seal the deal on a double date, when James suddenly stopped high in the air, for just a second, but long enough to throw off the Gryffindor chasers. "Wow, an uncharacteristic fumble by the Gryffindor team and the Ravenclaws are in possession once more." Sirius cringed as James turned tail in pursuit. Neck and neck with Tiffin he had no chance of stopping the quaffle from being passed along to Smith and blasted through a hoop. The Gryffindor keeper looked apologetically at James as he hit the front of his broom in anger, but Sirius sensed his friend wasn't mad at the keeper. Within seconds he was turned around playing, but as he did so Sirius and Remus both noticed him do something very unusual. A quick scan of the crowd and a hand motion.

Up. Turn.

Sirius and Remus scrambled to their feet simultaneously and turned to see what he was motioning to. There was nothing unusual happening in the crowd. Rows of cheering students, banners, a Ravenclaw with a book propped up on their legs. Two Gryffindor first years hexing one another. They thought for only a moment then began to scramble up the bleachers to look over the back wall, Peter and Lily on their tail.

They reached the back garnering grumbles and shoves from the annoyed crowed. They slammed themselves into the backboard and looked over to the grounds below. It was soon obvious what had stopped James in mid-air moments before. Across the grounds a group of dark figures were stumbling out from between the branches of the Whomping Willow, its branches eerily frozen.

Sirius cursed. Remus's face went paper white. He turned and slid down to a sitting position, as a row of young students slid aside nervously to make room. "What's going on?" Lily panted as she and Peter caught up with them, the glares of spectators following their assent. Peter looked over the edge. The group had already begun walking back to the castle, and the willow was swaying in the breeze once more. "I don't see anything." Peter admitted.

"At least we know how they got to Hogsmeade." Sirius mumbled to Remus, trying to keep Lily out of the loop, but she was too involved now to miss their conversation.

"Who was in Hogsmeade?" She asked.

Sirius looked up at her annoyed. "No one… It was a thing." but Lily continued to stare. "Mulciber and his cronies were in Hogsmeade the other day when we were making a chocolate run." He admitted defensively.

Lily's eyes turned to slits. "Did something happen? Why were they there? When were you there?" She asked in rapid succession.

"Nothing happened," Sirius's eyes scanned left and right for eavesdroppers, but everyone was engrossed in another seeker chase on the pitch. "we were just picking things up, and we saw them." Sirius lied. Lily let out a sigh, not fully believing him but thankful that nothing horrible happened. Behind them the Ravenclaw team rose up in cheers. "That's another point for Ravenclaw and the score moves up to 120-70. Gryffindor will need to catch the snitch to sure up this game and of course the cup!"

"Snape was with them though." Remus assured himself, finally shaking himself out of a rattled silence. "He is the only one who knows about me. Right? The only one." Remus checked each of his friend's faces, his eyes finally landing on Lily's. She raised her shoulders and mouthed wordlessly, helplessly.

Peter had his own worries though, "We won't follow them." he mumbled. Sirius shook his head. It was, at this point, too dangerous, especially considering the threats of their previous meeting. However, now that they knew how the group was getting to Hogsmeade, and that it was a regular event, maybe they could figure out how to stop it.

"130-70. Ravenclaw is definitely taking this game!" On the field James was swerving away from the goal posts frustration evident on his face. He glanced over to them again, distracted. Not knowing what else to do they all simultaneously signaled, "mischief managed". Even from this distance they could tell he was relieved. He garnered a new sense of resolve and within seconds the Gryffindor team had scored.

Instead of stumbling back down the bleachers Sirius shuffled more of the underclassmen away and plopped down next to Remus. Peter made to do the same, but the crowd was suddenly on their feet. They all turned to watch the field. The Gryffindor seeker was racing toward the stands, the Ravenclaw seeker right on her tail. A hand outstretched the girl crashed into the side of the stadium and tumbled to the ground, her broom now entangled with that of the Ravenclaw. "And that's it! someone's holding a hand in the air, can't tell who. Oh, oh! It's a red and gold arm, IT'S GRYFFINDOR!"

When they got up the Gryffindor seeker was swaying and staring at the snitch in her hands in a daze. Sirius rushed down the rows of seating to celebrate with his new Hufflepuff friends as the other three fought the crowed to rush the field. They met James in the crush of bodies on the pitch. Lily reached around his neck for a deep, enthusiastic kiss. James looked winded and wild standing amongst cheering fans. Seconds later their seeker bolted into him for a hug followed shortly by the remaining members of the team. There were enthusiastic cheers and they could just hear Sirius's voice over the crowed trying to lead a rather vulgar cheer in celebration.

The party that night was loud and lively, but throughout the marauders found themselves bumping into one another scheming, and separating. They were split between an excitement that ran through the entire common room like sparks from a wand, and a need to make a detailed plan for stopping the Slytherins' next trip to Hogsmeade because nothing they could be doing was good.

"We have to wait until after I graduate to do that." Remus reminded Sirius after a suggestion of collapsing the tunnel.

"We'll just have to scare them out of the tunnel then." Sirius decided.

"After Monday. I'd rather Madam Pomfrey not get caught in one of our traps."

"One of us'll be with her." Sirius reminded with an offhanded wave of the hand.

"Don't care." Remus reiterated. "We're waiting."

* * *

By Tuesday they had a plan. James and Sirius had happily given up doing homework to work it out. They would execute it as soon as possible. The sooner it happened the more likely they were to catch the others. Wednesday night, after Remus had fully slept off the moon, they left.

Sirius and Remus carefully carried the small half-empty bags into the room they would leave from that evening. Sneaking out from there after dark would be easier than from the common room since not only Lily, but mouthy first years who would tell on them were wandering about. They had used too much of their Zonko's supply on other pranks so this particular plan would rely heavily on spells and schools supplies. They were confident however that it would not only stop the young death eaters from getting to Hogsmeade, but, if they were lucky, would have them spending the next few days in subjugated misery. James and Peter were going to meet Sirius and Remus in a few minutes from another direction, but Sirius had quickly volunteered himself and Remus to carry down the goods a few minutes early. Remus had given him a sidelong look, but had agreed.

Sirius shut the door to classroom and pinned Remus with a stare. "You're not going to chicken out on this are you?"

Remus's face contorted slightly into one of irritation. "Why would I chicken out?" He asked thinking of all the times he had gone through with more hair-brained schemes.

"It's nothing. It's just that this is a prank… in the tunnel."

Remus suddenly thought he understood the gist of Sirius's question. "If this is about fifth year…" He started in a low tone Sirius took as threatening. The dark-haired boy held his hands out, not denying that this was his point, but silently telling his friend to calm down.

"It's in your tunnel." Sirius explained again.

"But it's not about me. If anyone should be upset about people finding the tunnel it should be me." Remus countered a little harshly.

"Fine, as long as you're on board." Sirius surrendered. Remus calmed down instantly.

"I'm very on board." He said his lip twitching into a half smile. "I will relish this particular adventure."

They waited another five minutes, Sirius writing rude words on the chalkboard and Remus sealing random desks shut until James and Peter slipped into the room, slightly out of breath. "Let's do this." James said with a nod.

"All in favor say 'aye'!" Sirius chimed in from the professor's desk. The other three said "aye" as they gathered near the door.

"Moony and I will take the cloak. Padfoot and Wormtail are walking, I've got the map." James stated. There were nods and smirks of agreement.

Sirius clapped his hands together and rubbed them in mischievous happiness before transforming into his dog form. He padded happily around James and Remus as Peter shut his eyes in concentration and slowly shrunk down to his rat form. Sirius went to the door and began pawing and chewing at the doorknob trying to get out. James leaned over and opened the door for him. The large black dog bounded out the door, and presumably toward the front entryway. The grey rat followed. James looked back at Remus, "You ready for this?"

"Ready? I'm just upset we're not doing more to them." Remus replied seriously. His brain flickered back to what Sirius had said. He didn't want James to think he had any doubts. Something about the Slytherins being in a tunnel leading to where he transformed turned his stomach. Terrible plans had been laid in the last few days before they decided to go with something moderately safe. Mulciber had been right in that sense; they hadn't graduated yet. They could declare full-scale war after commencement, but until then they needed to play it safe, especially in this instance, as it would be too easy to implicate them in the aftermath. James picked a bag up off the floor and pulled the cloak from his pocket.

Remus slipped the Marauder's Map from James's other pocket and, pulling out his wand, whispered, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Black lines spread across the page until the entire school was spread out across the parchment. A dot labeled Sirius was moving quickly back and forth in front of the entryway, while Peter's dot was paused at the side, but the rest of the hall was empty. "We're good." Remus said as he picked up the other bag and James flung the cloak over them both. It was close quarters under the thin slinking material, but two people gave them significantly more room than four, and it was much easier to navigate.

Together Remus and James walked to the front door and let Sirius out to race off across the Hogwarts grounds chasing birds and squirrels and bugs before returning to them. Peter froze the Whomping Willow and they slipped through the still branches, the leaves brushing their shoulders and fur. James opened the hole to the tunnel and they slipped into the dark damp space.

James ripped the invisibility cloak off as soon as their feet his damp ground. He lit his wand allowing Remus to squint into the dimly lit space a little surprised, "Is it always this cobwebby?" He asked checking out a long legged spider sitting patiently on her web to his right.

Off to the side Peter was turning slowly back into himself. James seemed much more interested in that then the hall's organic decor. "Pretty much." he replied. He moved the focus of his wand to the ground and poked Padfoot with his shoe. In response Padfoot rolled onto his back asking for a tummyrub. James stepped over his friend and continued down the hall a short ways. "Where do you think we should start?" He asked sizing up the tight place.

"In a little further. I want their crawl out of here to be as long as possible." Remus said dangerously. Sirius rolled back onto his feet and turned back into himself with a shake of his curly black locks.

"I agree with the angry vindictive version of Moony." Sirius said pointing a thumb over his shoulder to Remus.

"I think we should do it after the bend and the hill." James called back from farther down the tunnel. Remus prodded Sirius forward, who poked Peter and together they followed James deeper into the tunnel.

Once they had gone two-thirds of the way to the Shrieking Shack James stopped. "How about here? It's a little wider, which will give us room to work, and far enough in to be irritating." Remus was pointing his lit wand at a strange burrow hole off to the side, but nodded, and Sirius seemed enthusiastic about the plan. James set his bag of goods down and rubbed his hands together. "So if we do this in order, in a way that won't trip us up as we leave, we'll need to start with the wall, then the bat hexes, then the giggling gas, the tar cannons, then the char." Remus smirked hearing the list. He couldn't wait to see the results of their labor.

"You know we're going to have to clean this up eventually." Peter pointed out.

"I'll clean it myself to see their faces." Sirius smiled ruefully.

"Awesome, you get the job." Remus said sneaking past Sirius to meet up with James. Sirius shoved the back of his friend's head on passing.

"I'll set up the final wall here." Remus said rubbing his head and sizing up the space in the hall. If they make it this far they'll trip the spell 'avalanche' there." He said pointing to right where James was. "If we put the trips in last, and back to front we won't get messed up."

"Okay, gentlemen. . . Marauders" James said checking Remus's plan and deeming it good. "Let's get to work."

* * *

It took four hours of work to get everything put in place. It wasn't their cleanest bit of work, or their most surefire, but if even 2 of the 5 pieces worked there was no way Mulciber and his cronies would get to Hogsmeade. The Marauders patted one another on the back before ducking to file out of the tunnel.

They all breathed in the fresh night air. James closed the tunnel behind them while Sirius kept the tree frozen. They stretched out and enjoyed the feeling of unreserved freedom that came with a good night of being out together. James sighed up at the stars and decided they should get going. Sirius and Peter transformed into their animal forms and Remus and James disappeared under the cloak once more.

Sirius stood right on their ankles this time, not wanting to make a false move at such a late hour. Remus still had the map and glanced at it every few moments. They slipped up the stairs to the front entryway, through it and into the empty classroom they had used before leaving.

Sirius turned back into himself and Remus and James untangled themselves from the invisibility cloak. "Short straw for who's going uncloaked." James said brushing a hand through his hair. They decided a long time ago not to transform near portraits so their best option for getting back to the common room usually involved a classroom near the front door then hiding as many people as possible under the cloak and letting one person keep watch with the map. Peter would shrink down and crawl into a pocket but the other three were out of luck since they were big enough now that only two of them fit well under the cloak. In the end one of them getting caught out after hours was better than all four, so they played a game of chance for the odd man out.

It was too late for Prefect rounds, but Filch and a professor would be on the prowl, which was arguably worse. Remus checked the map; Filch was in his office, and Professor Flitwick was on the second floor checking classrooms. They each held out their hands, a spell Sirius and James had invented during their fourth year after quite a few arguments about who would have to do the worst jobs. James tapped the back of each of their hands then, "Eeny, Meeny, miny, go" and with a flick of his wand a swirl appeared on the back of Remus's hand.

"Really?" He grumbled unsurprised at his luck. "I swear you've rigged it."

"You cast it last time." James pointed out, "It still landed on you."

Remus checked the map again, there was very little likelihood he would get caught getting back tonight, but it didn't make the job any better.

The hall was silent as they crept out a few minutes later. James, Sirius and Peter- stuffed in Sirius's pocket-, were well hidden under the cloak following Remus.

They worked their way up flights of stairs and down back hallways to avoid Flitwick's varied path, and to Remus's disdain, Filch, who had left his office to troll the halls. He was close enough to keep them nervous but if they kept moving they would be fine.

They hit the seventh floor without incident. They were still a distance from the common room, because of their winding path, but they were getting closer. If it weren't for the soft sound of feet shuffling behind him, he would suspect that the others had gone a shorter route and were at the fat lady waiting for him.

"AHHHHHHAHAHHH" Remus stopped abruptly at the noise, and it became clear that the rest of the group under the cloak had paused as well. James feet were visible to his ankles as he turned to hear better. Remus flicked his wand at the map, zooming in on the hall behind them where the noise seemed to have come from. There was nothing on this floor that would be screaming. Filch however, wasn't far away in his patrolling, so they needed to hurry.

Remus tiptoed toward their next turn. He had a sneaking suspicion Filch was narrowing in on them. He waved for the others to follow, and he could hear Sirius struggling to drag James away from the direction of the disruption. Remus tried to sign, "Filch is coming" to the others, but they didn't notice and he could tell they still weren't hurrying. He should leave them, save himself, they had the cloak on anyway. Another scream suddenly burst from the same direction, this time louder. Remus turned quickly, knowing what the others would do. Before he or Sirius could stop him James had shot out from under the cloak and bolted toward the noise. Instead of staying quiet Remus called after him, "Prongs no one's there!" But it was too late. James was rushing down the hall and, according to the map, straight to Filch. Remus didn't stop but raced after his impulsive friend as he sprinted off around a corner and into what Remus knew was a long wide hallway.

"Potter!" Remus heard Filch's voice before he skidded around the corner and saw the scruffy man stalking toward James. The hall, as Remus had said, was otherwise empty. His friend was looking around confused. "Potter, I thought I would find you out- Lupin as well!" The Caretaker cursed, catching sight of Remus further down the hall. Remus tried to wave Sirius and Peter away without letting Filch know what was happening, but he didn't need to. He could just barely see Sirius's feet backing into the wall. Filch was on them within an instant snatching the map out of his hand and grabbing their ears. He gleefully dragged them along to his office. Remus's eyes flicked to the map trying to figure out how to erase it safely.

James and Remus's ears were burning as they were tossed heartlessly into the Caretaker's cluttered office. "Sit!" Filch demanded though there were no visible chairs for them. Filch tossed the map onto his desk without much interest in it. He was too busy grinning about his good catch.

Remus immediately hissed "Mischief managed" as James faked a coughing fit to cover the spell. Filch glared at them suspiciously. Both boys began rubbing their ears innocently as they sat down in their customary spots on the floor before Filch's desk.

"What was that?" He pried.

"A cough, sir." James replied naively.

Filch pinned an intense stare on Remus who shrugged. "He's allergic to offices."

"Allergic to offices my ass." Filch grumbled to himself as he walked to a filing cabinet where Remus and James both knew he kept a large, heavy file full of their various shenanigans.

James turned to Remus and mouthed, "What was that scream?"

Remus made an I-don't-know face then mouthed, "a trap?"

James shook his head suspecting Filch wasn't sneaky enough for that. "Peeves?" James tried. Remus shook his head. Peeves hadn't been on the map at the time.

Filch turned back to his desk and dropped a heavy folder onto its surface. Dust plumed around the sides. "I'm not sure how many times you've visited me, but this has to be enough times to warrant expulsion." He smiled ruefully, showing worn yellowing teeth, then sat down in a squeaking desk chair. James and Remus shared a disbelieving look. The Caretaker had been threatening expulsion since their second year. He had yet to succeed.

"Sir, I need sleep. Can we just cut to the part where you give us detention, and then we can get on our way?"

"Potter!" Filch snapped the warning, letting the file fall open.

"Shutting up, sir." James sighed.

They sat there as Filch read some of their more memorable crimes and discussed some of the ways he would like to punish them. Thumbscrews made several appearances.

An hour later Remus's eyelids began to droop. The Caretaker ground his teeth and chucked a muggle pen at his head. Remus blinked awake and Filch growled, "Fine. Unfortunately I believe the worst I can do is a detention, though I will be bringing this up with your Head of House." James groaned at the prospect of talking to McGonagall, but if it meant getting out of Filch's office he would take it. Filch wrote up two detention slips with glee and handed them to James and Remus. James reached out for the slip and quietly tried to slip the map into his sleeve. Filch caught the move and slammed his fist painfully on top of James's. "I'll be keeping that. If it's important to you it'll be worth it." He slid the parchment out of Jame's grasp and into their file with the same pleased smile he had worn when catching them. James watched him mournfully. The Caretaker picked the whole file up, put it in a cabinet, then locked it with a key from around his neck. He dropped the key back between his rough chest and dirty robes before shuttling them out of the room with a glare.

Remus and James's hearts sank as they stepped out into the empty hall. They walked slowly back to the common room, detention slips pressed between their fingers, but much more worried about how they were going to break the news about the map to Peter and Sirius.

In what felt like no time at all the portrait swung shut behind them and Sirius and Peter were upon them in an instant, eyes wide and questioning. Without preamble James told them, "He got the map."

"Shit." Sirius exhaled. "We've never gotten anything back from him."

"Once. The history of magic cheat sheet in third year." Peter corrected.

"We had to shut down a hallway, spend half our money on Zonko's products and spend a month perfecting a potion to do that though." Remus reminded sadly.

"And we got a week's worth of detention." Peter added. They all stood in a quiet circle thinking about what it would take to get the map back.

Remus whispered what none of them wanted to admit, "We are graduating in a few weeks…"

"I mean what are we going to do with a map of a school we've graduated from?" Sirius said with a pained chuckle. There was a deadened tone in his voice.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose thinking about the work that had gone into creating it. "Maybe we have spells we didn't have in third year?" He mumbled, running through anything that could help. "I can figure something out…"

James shook his head, "No." He looked sad, but settled, "We'll leave it. The map belongs at Hogwarts. Maybe after Filch kicks it…" James trailed off. He had had visions of handing the map off to his children (behind Lily's back of course). He had always imagined redheaded pranksters running havoc through the school, a small version of Sirius at their side. "Maybe someday some other pranksters will find it, you know, and carry on our legacy?" He whispered into the ground. None of them looked pleased by this thought.

"Maybe" Peter mumbled. There was a long silence before they tiredly dragged themselves back to their four-poster beds and got a few hours of shut-eye.


	7. Chapter 7: NEWTs

**Chapter 7: NEWTs**

"Newts are next week." Professor McGonagall, Slughorn and Flitwick all began class to a roomful of students who looked as if they had been picked up, punched by an angry giant, then dropped back at their desks.

"Afterward you will probably never pay attention to another word I say, so let me make this very clear-" Professor McGonagall continued looking around the room at each of her students, "These test are hard, grueling, and you should take them seriously. Do everything you can to score Outstandings. You should work every hour you are not sleeping up until you are finished, but if you fail, and you might, know that a test score cannot define you as a witch or wizard. Your life doesn't end after NEWTs." McGonagall's stern features were betrayed by unusually soft eyes. "You will make it through the next three weeks." She finished.

James and Sirius, having been berated for weeks by every professor's very pointed notions about the ferocity of the exams, were even beginning to worry. James was making predictions that he would have no problem in Defense against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures and Transfigurations, but was allowing Remus to quiz him about Arithmancy when the more studious of them was flipping through his amassed flashcards. Sirius was actually seen picking through a potions book for tricks and tips after an especially terrifying anecdote from Professor Slughorn. Remus had talked them all into dueling practice to both work on spell casting for the practicals, and as preparation for joining the Order. In the span of two weeks they had walked into Madam Pomfrey's infirmary over twenty times. "A record" she said on their twenty-first visit to get a sizzling fragment of a transfigured teacup removed from Sirius's shoulder.

Needless to say by the time the Monday of the first test rolled around, no one felt well prepared, or well rested. In the dorm that morning, as Peter almost puked from nerves again and Remus flipped through another pile of flashcards Sirius felt his first pangs of true fear. He did, actually need high scores if he wanted to be an auror. James looked at him from across the room and he knew his friend was thinking the same thing.

After wearily eating breakfast they walked together to the large classroom where the test would be administered since OWLs were taking place in the Great Hall. An eerie silence descended as they saw the desks set up in neat rows, an inkwell and quill set out on each. Remus stopped mumbling facts to himself, and James and Sirius's nervous jokes abruptly stopped.

Professor Flitwick directed them to assigned seats and as they separated they gave each other weary looks of good luck. This was their first exam day and it was charms. Just charms, it would be a piece of cake.

James sat down slowly in his seat as the room began to fill with other nervous seventh years. He could hear the panicked sobs of Delphine Pratchet as she took her spot behind him. After what felt like and eternity he heard the sound of the door close, leaving behind a high-strung silence of held breaths and the occasional sound of an inkwell sliding on wood. Professor Flitwick's shoes clicked as he walked to the front of the room. He read a short piece on directions for the test, and with a flick of the wrist sent a stack of papers flying onto their desks.

James looked down at the sheet in front of him and breathed out. The first question was simple, and James caught himself smiling. "Name three emotion altering spells, how they are cast, and how they affect the recipient." James began to scrawl, the sound of his quill scratching away and fusing with the sounds of a dozen other quills until he relaxed, losing himself in the writing.

He blinked awake hours later, having written more in one sitting than he felt he ever had. There was still some time left so he flicked through his answers, but felt confident in them. He scribbled on the margins until Flitwick called their attention to tell them time was up. The professor collected the tests and a dulling weight suddenly lifted from the room. "So does this test come with a free cheering charm?" Sirius tried to joke. Someone in the back of the room laughed nervously, and there was a communal release of breath and a few more giggles as they stretched out of their test induced comas and began to file out. James slumped onto the wall right outside the door and waited for the others. Remus was rubbing bloodshot eyes, but looked confident. Lily slipped her hand into James's then leaned her head heavily into his shoulder.

"One down." Sirius tried to sound cheerful holding up a hand for half-hearted high-fives. " _Half_ of seven done." Remus reminded, thinking about the practicals that afternoon.

"Half of six!" Sirius countered optimistically. "You and Lily are overachievers." He picked. They all groaned and eventually stumbled down to lunch where the OWLs seating had been transformed back into the usual dining accommodations. They ate food slowly, deliberately, dreading their practical that afternoon, but knowing it would play to their strengths.

And it did, each left the room feeling confident and relieved at having succeeded.

That night Sirius broke out half a dozen Butterbeers for them, which they drank slowly in the corner circle of couches and chairs as they prepared for the next day's Transfigurations exam. They all felt they nailed that exam with ease as well; Lily doubly so as she had been training with the Order for months now and could do several facial transfigurations in her sleep. There was a brief reprise on Wednesday as only Lily and Peter had taken Herbology past OWL level before the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam on Thursday where James managed to use a patronus to his advantage and gain the favor of his examiner.

Remus didn't sleep that night in fear over his Ancient Runes test, but without a practical portion he was finished by lunch. The marauders were able to and spent the rest of the evening sleeping next to the lake and zapping unsuspecting students with a popular new tickling spell.

The weekend's fine weather was tempered with the need to study for Potions and worry over Monday night's full moon. In a deal Sirius swore was not black market, they handed Remus highly concentrated caffeine Tuesday morning so that he could stay vertical long enough to take the Potions exam. He admitted Wednesday morning, while Lily was worrying about her Astronomy exam, that he didn't remember anything from the previous day.

It was the second Thursday of exams, with one day left, when several seventh years were lying sprawled over any surface outside the testing room. James, Sirius, and Remus had just finished a particularly rigorous Arithmancy exam, and with only History of Magic left they were all burnt down to their last nerve. Sirius was completely finished with exams as was Peter, but they were all commiserating their lack of sleep together when Dumbledore approached them in his sweeping blue robes.

James was on his back on the cold stone floor, Lily resting her head on his stomach while he stroked her hair absently. Sirius was on a bench next to them trying to distract himself with a muggle motorcycle magazine and a pamphlet from the Office of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts. Remus was cross-legged on the ground, a book open on his lap, but his eyes were glazed over, taking in nothing, Peter asleep to his right.

"Just the group of students I was looking for." Dumbledore said looking down at the pile of tired, lifeless students at his feet. "Would you come with me?" James and Sirius shared a look, then rose wearily to their feet. They must have been fully found out in the Mulciber incident. A few weeks ago several Slytherins appeared in class with splotches of itchy black tar on their hands and faces, and anger rolling off them. It took a week to remove both the tar and the rashes underneath but the fury remained.

"Sir?" James asked once he was on his feet, but Dumbledore had already turned and was leading them down the long hallway. Remus scrambled to his feet dragging a disoriented Peter behind him. Lily followed silently.

Dumbledore led them through the school to the base of the gargoyle. Remus could feel his stomach twist into a knot as Dumbledore mentioned something about Donuts. They had one final test tomorrow. They couldn't get caught now, expelled after they had put in so much effort.

The gargoyle sprang to the side allowing them passage onto Dumbledore's rising staircase. Nobody was speaking, either from weariness or nerves as they stepped onto the staircase. Dumbledore opened the door to his office and led them inside. It looked as it always did, warm with color and covered in strange glass trinkets, but they were surprised the see that the room was not empty. Three other individuals were positioned around Dumbledore's desk, two of whom were looking stern and pensive. The third was behind Dumbledore's desk leaning back in the Headmaster's chair. He had brown hair, well on its way to being grey and wore a half bemused smile as he fiddled with the objects on the desk, seemingly unaware of the new arrivals.

To the side stood Alice, a hand on her hip, and looking at them with interest. Her hair was still brown and shoulder length, her face round. Sirius smiled and winked at her but she only rolled her eyes in response, an old game between the two that neither she nor Frank had ever really been bothered by.

The last individual stood out from the others, and the boys' eyes were immediately drawn to the maroon robes he wore even though Alice was in her streets. The auror stood off to one side of the desk, face grizzled and set in a steeled frown that made the nervous smile fall from Sirius's face. The older man's arms were crossed over his chest. James sucked in a breath, terror racing down his spine. Surely a prank didn't merit a visit from an auror! James licked his lips nervously and tried to gauge Dumbledore's expression, but gained nothing. He blinked to Remus who looked ready to flee at the sight of an auror, a group he didn't like from a distance let alone up close and personal. The burns on the Slytherins, James realized with a sudden horror, were slightly more than a prank, slightly more dangerous somehow.

Alice nodded Lily over to the table and the marauders suddenly remembered she was still with them. This wasn't about the Mulciber incident. Surely they didn't think Lily had anything to do with that? James made to follow her to the desk but was stopped with a pointed finger by Alice to stay where he was. As Lily stepped up to Dumbledore's desk the Auror stepped toward the boys who had formed their customary line a few steps from the door.

"James Potter?" The man's voice was gravelly and James noticed for the first time that his electric blue left eye was not tracking with his right, instead it began to search him up in down as his right stared him in the eyes. James nodded and stuck out a hand, trying to appear confident in his somewhat confused state. Both of the auror's eyes glanced to the proffered hand then one shifted to his face while the other began searching Sirius next to him. "You ever been in battle?" He demanded a bit of spittle escaping his mouth with the ferocity of the question.

"I've dueled plenty of times." James said taking his hand back and eyeing the man with matched intensity and suspicion. He would not be outdone or intimidated. The auror looked to Dumbledore, disappointment evident on his face, "and a Black?" He added incredulously taking a step over to Sirius. James was slowly beginning to realize this definitely had nothing to do with the Mulciber incident. The auror's tone was unimpressed, but not angry, not accusing.

"That's right sir, and Sirius about it too." The observed boy tried making a joke before sticking out his own hand. Peter laughed nervously from the end of the line, but when the man's face contorted in unrestrained annoyance, and a wild eye flipped to him he slipped backward trying to hide himself behind the rail-thin Remus.

"And you?" he barked moving his attention away from Sirius completely. Remus caught his breath, hoping the man's gaze had moved beyond him to his friend. Remus nudged Peter into talking.

"Pettigrew. Sir." He squeaked.

"You sure?" The older man asked. Peter's eyes grew and Remus elbowed him in the stomach again. Peter nodded.

"And who're you, might I ask?" Sirius butted in trying to regain control of the situation. He raised an arm onto Remus's shoulder and leaned into him nonchalantly. The auror walked back over to Sirius, and glared. Dumbledore finally stepped in.

"This is Alastor Moody. Auror, and member of the Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore said with a nod. James, Remus, and Peter let out their held breaths, now certain they weren't in trouble. James was suddenly much more interested in what was going on. The Order?

Moody took a step away from the group, sizing them up again, and made an unimpressed noise. James looked past him to Lily who was leaning over the table looking at something with Alice. He wanted to know what they were looking at, but he realized quickly that Moody was the gatekeeper, and he wasn't getting by him without proof of something.

"We are in a bit of a predicament, and I suggested since NEWTs are almost finished, and you will be joining us shortly, that we should invite you all to help solve it." Dumbledore stated and all of the marauders perked up at the invitation.

"I'm not so sure that _we_ suggested anything Albus." Moody argued.

"That may be so, but I don't think it will hurt." Dumbledore soothed. Moody huffed but didn't put up a fight. He mumbled something about inexperienced children under his breath as Dumbledore began to walk toward the fireplace, motioning for the boys to follow.

James and Sirius eagerly followed with Peter falling behind, but as Remus tried to slip by the auror his arm was caught up in a tight grip, his heart stopping. Moody leaned in and asked in a rough voice, "Remus Lupin?" He was looking him up and down with both eyes, searching intently for something in the same way he had with the others, but for some reason this felt more personal, more invasive.

Anger and fear flared in Remus. He almost jerked out of the man's grasp, but caught himself. He didn't want to give an auror any excuse to suddenly hex him, turn him in…Instead he took in a long steadying breath his nostrils flaring. He refused to look the man in the eye when he nodded an affirmative. To his relief the auror did nothing but nod back and slowly release his arm. Remus didn't take a second to think but hurried to the where his friends were grouped. Sirius knocked him on the back jubilantly as Lily and the other two joined them by the fire.

As soon as they were gathered Dumbledore took a deep breath. "I must admit I don't believe you will enjoy this work."

"Don't care, let's get going." Sirius said excitedly.

Dumbledore peered at him. "Always nice to see you excited about something, but you will see what I mean soon." He motioned to James and held a small bag of floo out to him. "Hessington and Able" Dumbledore informed. James took a small handful and with an excited look back at Sirius tossed it into the fire. Green flames burst to life and he stepped in calling the name of the place he was sent off to. The man from behind the desk followed, cutting off Sirius with a pat on the shoulder. Slowly the rest filed out, Moody being the last to join them on the far side.

They had stepped into a dingy brick building. The ceiling was three stories above them and strung with ripped out wires. The large windows were smudged over with dirt where the glass wasn't broken and the concrete floors were covered in a layer of grey dirt and dead bugs. Though the space was vast the corners were still stacked high with disintegrating wooden crates and cardboard boxes.

"A warehouse?" Sirius finally asked looking around and recognizing the architecture from his childhood wanderings in London.

"Ah yes." Dumbledore agreed. "Your job-" He paused levitating a box from the corner and letting it drop in front of him. Rags and cleaners tumbled out and Dumbledore finished by pulling a few brooms from inside his robes, and resizing them to normal with a flourish, "-Is to clean this place. We were hoping to hold an Order meeting here tonight, but it seems to need a bit of a touch up before we can welcome the rest of the group." The marauders stared at the Headmaster.

"A bit of a touch up?" Sirius asked, disbelieving.

"I did say you wouldn't like the work, but it needs to be done, and Alice and- oh you haven't met Edgar Bones-" Dumbledore realized waving to the brunette man who had wandered off to look through a small clean space he had rubbed in a window, "agreed to help you." Remus briefly looked over his shoulder to the auror, hoping he hadn't agreed to help as well.

"Then we get to stay for the meeting, right?" James asked walking over and picking up a rag. "And we can use magic?"

Alice laughed loudly and they all looked at her uncomprehending. "Sorry, I forgot that's a thing I couldn't do at one point. Hogwarts rules and all." She smiled.

"This isn't detention Mr. Potter." Dumbledore explained. "Or school grounds…"

Sirius was sizing up the place with an annoyed expression. "That's good because this is at least three detentions." Sirius informed the headmaster.

"Detentions are a type of measurement for Sirius." Remus explained with a sigh, in case Dumbledore wasn't privy to Sirius's unique unit of measurement.

The headmaster laughed briefly and then clasped his hands in front of himself. "And yes James, I do expect you to attend the meeting tonight." He clarified. James and Sirius whooped in unison.

"Well, I have a meeting with McGonagall about some of her students and a certain tree so I must head out." He said giving James a significant look. "Good luck, and I will see you tonight." He turned and headed toward the fireplace, his blue cloak puffing dust in his wake. Sirius and James were silently cheering about their good luck as he left through the floo, whistling a quiet tune. Remus on the other hand, seemed overwhelmed and Peter appeared shocked as Alice grabbed a broom and placed it in his hand.

The remaining group stared at the pile of rags and mops left behind by Dumbledore. "I can't believe our first Order duties involve cleaning." Sirius whined.

"This sucks." James agreed looking around the large space.

"I mean come on, we just finished NEWTs, at least give us a night to sleep. Moony over there looks like he's been beaten by a troll." Sirius added motioning to Remus who was standing resolutely next to the pile of rags, hand on his hips, apparently lost in thought. James looked him up and down.

"Yeah maybe you should like sit and do cleaning Moony." James suggested seriously.

Remus looked up from the pile and blinked. James watched as the werewolf briefly scanned the room. Remus caught sight of Moody watching them from a door on the other side of the building. Before anyone else could say a thing Remus picked up a broom, a handful of rags, and a bottle of cleaner. He tossed the broom to the side and enchanted it to begin sweeping. He then walked to one of the large windows in the back, hopped onto the thin sill and used a rag to test how thick the dirt was. Thick and dark he discovered. He used the cleaner and began to scrub in earnest.

The rest of the group was watching him stubbornly rubbing away the layer of dirt on the window. Edgar smiled warmly at the boy's decisiveness, clapped his hands together and grabbed a rag, ready to join the sandy-haired boy.

James and Sirius glanced at one another realizing they were being outworked by a werewolf who had barely slept since the full moon, had taken a test that day, and had another the following. Sirius picked up a second broom, "Can't say I haven't done this before." He sighed and walked to help Remus's uncoordinated, enchanted broom sweep through the layers of bugs and dirt. James grabbed another rag and sent it aloft to swipe cobwebs from the ceiling while Lily dragged Peter along to another set of windows. Alice smiled and went to siphon dust off the empty boxes.

Somewhere by the door Moody was reevaluating the young group of wizards. Not particularly experienced, not particularly bright, or respectful, but willing to work. Not at all the pampered rich kids he had expected upon reading their names, well, at least on reading three of their names. He watched them a while longer, the Black and Potter boys playing games and telling jokes as they went, and the others quietly playing along. After ten minutes he huffed to himself and decided he should get along to his own job.

* * *

Moody returned from securing the perimeter and setting up concealing charms as dark was beginning to fall. He was grumbling and holding a box of food.

"Oh." Alice smiled jumping off her windowpane and walking to the older man. Most of the windows were repaired and could be seen through, the ceiling was cobweb free and thanks to Sirius the floor looked more like concrete and less like packed earth.

"Courtesy of the Mrs." Moody said glancing to Edgar Bones who had wandered over with Alice. "Start setting out tables boys, the meeting will start after dinner. You've done enough for now." Moody called.

Sirius cheered loudly and let his mop hit the ground with a clatter of wood. He threw his hands in the air and started walking toward the food. Moody moved it out of his grasp and nodded to where a stack of tables had been placed. James and Lily had already grabbed one and were setting it up behind the auror. Sirius mumbled something about being treated like a house elf but joined the others in setting out two rows with chairs in the center of the room.

Their small work crew sat around one set, as Moody and Edgar pulled homemade sandwiches, as well as mason jars of lemonade, and applesauce out of the box. Peter's eyes were huge in anticipation.

Edgar planted himself down across from Lily and James with a relieved sigh. "This is all from my lovely wife," He began. This was the first time he had spoken to James. His voice was commanding but soft as if spoken through a pillow. "and that-" Edgar said picking up the jar of applesauce, "I believe Allison had a hand in making last fall." He said proudly setting the jar in front of Lily and James.

"Where is Melinda tonight?" Lily asked.

"She's with the kids. Mungo's been giving her weird hours, so she hasn't seen the rascals lately. I don't think she'll even be at the meeting tonight." Edgar replied. Lily looked disappointed. In the last few months Melinda had taken her under her wing and besides Alice and Marlene she was one of the few people Lily felt comfortable around at Order meetings. Of course that would change tonight with the addition of the Gryffindor boys. She looked down at them, as they began to pick up sandwiches and make large bowls of applesauce for themselves; Sirius ignoring the bowls all together and eating straight out of the jar. She hoped they wouldn't act out at the meeting because of the menial labor, but it was important work, in a way. If nothing else it got them on the rest of the Order's good side.

"Melinda told me to tell you that she found that recipe for lemon squares, but then Alana got her hand caught in a vent and neither of us remembered to write it down, so we haven't forgotten about it, but we don't have it for you yet." Edgar continued, taking a bite out of his ham and cheese sandwich. Lily laughed openly and reached for a sandwich on the top of the pile.

"So you're married to Melinda Bones, and Alice is now officially a Longbottom?" James asked Alice whose ring he had noticed earlier that evening.

"Two months," Alice said smiling and flashing her ring finger. From next to her Moody hrumphed and peeled the meat from a sandwich. He sniffed it skeptically before adding it to a second sandwich where he had slowly been piling ingredients.

"Who else is in the order? Anyone we would know?" James asked ignoring the auror's scorn at marriage. Lily had never said names, worried about safety.

Edgar thought about it as he chewed, "Frank, and Marlene, of course, and do you know the Prewetts?" He asked.

Sirius's attention jumped away from trying to drop a pickle down the back of Remus's robes. "The Prewetts?" He asked, a look of awe crossing his face. Remus slapped his arm and the pickle fell to the ground. "Oi I just cleaned that." Sirius scolded his friend.

"Then you won't mind eating it off the floor then." Remus said picking it up and putting it on top of Sirius's sandwich.

"Not a bit, delicious." Sirius retorted, before snapping his attention back to Edgar. "So they'll be here tonight? Lily why didn't you tell us this!" Lily raised her hands in innocence as Edgar said,

"Probably. They're usually pretty good about showing up."

Sirius cheered and reached over Remus's head for a high-five with James.

"So you know them?" Edgar reasoned.

"Worship them really." Remus said wiping at the back of his neck. "I'm going to smell like pickles all day now." He pouted at Sirius.

"We aspire to achieve their pranking genius." Sirius stated ignoring his friend's complaint. James smiled almost sheepishly when Edgar's eyebrows rose questioningly.

"They were seventh years when we were first years, they were kind of amazing." James admitted.

"Still are rather amazing." Edgar agreed with a soft laugh. "Who else then Alice? Emmeline Vance she spends quite a bit of time with the Prewetts, Hestia Jones, Benjy, Elphias Doge, get to know him- he knows concealment and safety charms bettern' Alastor himself, real knack for it." Alice nodded then looked contemplative.

"McGonagall comes sometimes." She said with a cheeky smile. "Sits in the back stoically. She gave a report once."  
"McGonagall? James repeated, and Alice nodded again.

"Hagrid." She added.

"No wonder he's been all manner of button lipped about everything lately." Sirius smirked.

The marauders listened as names were said, occasionally nodding at a familiar surname, or the name of someone their parents might have known. They had finished off the applesauce and sandwiches when the floo lit up green again.

"Lovely!" Dumbledore's calm voice approved as he swept towards them. The table of people turned to watch the man walk toward the center of the room. "A few more tables and we'll be ready. Moody tells me he's informed the rest of the members, they will be arriving shortly." James and Sirius looked like giddy school children as they sprung up to set out the remainder of the tables and chairs.

The metal tables screeched and bounced against the cement floor as they set them out. Lily and Peter eventually rose to help them set out chairs and Remus leaned in to ask Alice about her work with the ministry, his face creasing in weariness.

Two more tables had been placed when the door Moody had entered through earlier burst open and a worn looking older gentleman entered holding two bottles of champagne under his arm. He was heavier set with slightly balding, fair hair under a broad-brimmed straw hat. Remus heard Moody grumbled about a ridiculous hat before getting to his feet.

"Elphias!" Dumbledore smiled crossing the room.

"I brought a housewarming gift." He said with a lopsided smile holding out the champagne to his old friend.

"Wonderful Elphias, we'll be sure to make a toast before the meeting begins. Come in, meet some of our new recruits, they've been working to spruce the place up." Dumbledore said waving absently to the crowd of students in the room and beginning to look through some of the boxes for any type of cups.

Elphias walked the rest of the way into the room, shaking hands with the older members and slowly meeting the students. Outside more popping noises sounded in the distance before more members began entering. James and Sirius continued to stand in the back near the doors, excited by each new member. A short man with a broad smile and another bottle of champagne gave them each a firm handshake and a quick cheery hug. A man in a fashionable suit under his cloak, looking greasy, refused to shake their hands and instead gave them each a weary look before sitting. The Prewetts arrived simultaneously, wearing red scarves each with a letter emblazoned in gold on the end. They shook the hands of the obviously stunned James and Sirius then pulled a pair of rubber chicks out of their cloaks to hand to a disgruntled looking Moody and a Dedalus who almost laughed himself off a chair.

Frank Longbottom was the last to enter, wearing auror robes that made Remus squirm and eating the last bite of a bowl of soup. He immediately launched into an excuse to Moody about forgetting to pick up the fuses then smiled warmly at the marauders, welcoming them. He motioned for James and Sirius to sit down by him knowing the meeting was to begin soon.

Not everyone Edgar and Alice had listed were there, James guessed about half, but those who were there were powerful magical forces and James almost felt intimidated being included among them. Dumbledore rose moments later to begin the meeting.

Across the room a hand shot up as a slick, accented voice cut into whatever Dumbledore was about to say "Dumbledore 'fore we begin might I asks a question?" Dumbledore stood taller, seemingly unfazed by the sudden intrusion.

"I suppose Mundungus." Dumbledore replied calmly, though it sounded like he knew what was to come.

"I jus' I thought we agreed no Hogwarts students, and those new boys look like kids." He said in a nasally voice James didn't very much like. "And the girl's still here." he added as an afterthought.

"As we've stated before, Lily has proven herself to be able to handle coursework and Order work. As far as the new recruits go, I thought it pertinent that they visit a meeting before choosing to forgo further education to be full time with us. Their Head of House agrees." Dumbledore explained. James squinted at his Headmaster; surprised that this was his reasoning for bringing them here. There was no doubt, at least in his mind, that this was what he wanted to do. He tried to look down the table to catch Lily's eye but she was focused on the man on the other side of the room. She looked calm, but James could tell by the slight furrow in her left brow that she was surprisingly close to launching a loud, angry complaint against him. It was the same crease above her eye that she would get when he would scheme during Head Boy duties.

"Sweetheart, go back to school, finish your NEWTs." The man continued leaning in and speaking smoothly to her. Lily's nostrils flared. James suspected this wasn't the first time he had made this suggestion.

"Button yur mouth or I'll do it for ya Fletcher!" a gravelly voice finally snapped. Mundungus sneered at the Auror, but leaned back into his chair, giving up the fight. Dumbledore didn't seem to recognize that anything had been said but waved his wand toward a box at his ankles. A wide array of cleaned glasses floated out, clinking like chimes over the group's head.

"A few of our members wanted to celebrate our new headquarters before we began today." Dumbledore said lightly, and with a warm cheer. The glasses set themselves before each of the members, "and with fear in my heart at giving my students alcohol at their first meeting, I do believe they should be taking as much joy in this moment as the rest of us as they have kindly given up an afternoon of studying to tidy this place up." He smiled, looking around their new space proudly.

"If you call sweeping out a mountain of bugs tidying." Sirius tried to joke. A few members closest to him laughed politely, and the glasses began to fill with champagne. They all clinked their glasses, and someone gave a short toast to the new headquarters before the real work began.


	8. Chapter 8: Homes and Hangups

**Chapter 8: Homes and Hangups**

McGonagall pressed her hands into her desk. "James?"

"Huh?" James blinked his eyes and turned back from staring out the window to bright sunshine beyond.

"Very well," she sighed heavily. "Class dismissed. There is no keeping your attention this week anyway." McGonagall explained to the room of weary, distracted seventh years. They had finished NEWTs the week before and were biding their time until graduation. No one was particularly interested in classes, but somehow, perhaps out of habit they still wandered there each day as if they were wind up toys caught in a circle.

Most professors let them talk through the hour, goof off, reminisce. McGonagall tried her best to press in a few spare bits of information, but today, with a blazing gold sun, it was no use.

The class gratefully stumbled back to life. The few who had unpacked supplies, Remus and Lily among them, stuffed their books and inkwells back into their bags. The woman at the front of the room began wiping the board clean as everyone left the room in a lighter, though slightly mechanical mood.

Once outside the classroom the marauders grouped themselves around Lily and James who stood hand-in-hand leaning against a wall. "To the tree?" Lily asked leaning into James's arm. Without answering they headed out together.

James and Sirius ran straight for the beach striping off as many layers as they could get away with while Remus, Peter, and Lily moved to sit under the shade of the beech tree.

"So you got the job at the bookstore?" Lily smiled at Remus. She had heard the good news that morning, but hadn't had time to ask him for details.

"Yup, it's only part-time. They don't need any new employees, but they were impressed by my application, confused too, but mostly impressed." He smiled back.

"You excited?"

"Merlin yes!" Remus said. "They have a whole section on defense skills. They have a deal with estate cleaners so they get weird second hand books all the time. I can have a first look through pick out the good ones. It'll come in handy for the Order, and we can use it for research. On top of that, employee discount! and though I could use more money, part time means I'm not going to miss meetings, and will have time for trainings and missions and stake-outs and whatever." Remus enthused.

Lily looked blown back by the boy's good cheer. "All true." She agreed, "though I have never been on a mission or a stakeout." She admitted.

"Cleaning the warehouse was kind of a mission." Peter noted. They laughed quietly while Lily's eyes wandered to the beach and James diving shirtless into the lake.

"Right. So you got the job at the Ministry, right Peter?" Lily asked, slightly distracted. He nodded enthusiastically.

"Where are you living?"

Peter's face turned solemn. "My Mum really needs me to be home, so that's where I'll be."

When Lily turned to look at him, there was something dark in his blue eyes that made her heart hurt, but it disappeared as soon as she spoke up, "Sounds lovely, and that's sweet of you."

"She'll be alright mate." Remus chimed in, patting his friend on the back consolingly.

Peter nodded, thankful for the sentiment and they all sank into a calm silence. Eventually Peter slipped off to the lakeside and Remus leaned back to look up at the tree's deep green foliage. It was the group's favorite tree. The marauders had forced him to tell them about the werewolf business at this spot. James had finally successfully asked Lily out under it. On the other hand Remus had screamed Sirius into guilt under it; violently screamed for the first time in his life. Everything had happened there and in four days time in a spot he could see from where he sat they would be graduating.

"So Remus?" Lily started after a short time.

"Yeah?" He sat back up and stretched his arms above him. Bones popped and his muscles strained. He let them fall back down. "Put him back!" By the lake Sirius was waving a distressed fish in Peter's face. Sirius stuck his tongue out, but tossed the fish back into the lake anyway. "One of these days that squid's going to grab him by the foot and chuck him three miles in the air." Remus grumbled.

"One can only hope." Lily agreed.

They were silent looking back at the castle, but then Lily remembered what she wanted to ask him, "Do you? Do you have a place to live yet?"

Remus became immediately uncomfortable. His mom and dad had welcomed him home with open arms, but he didn't want to accept. His parents were great, but he craved independence, and his parents struggled to see him as anything more than their little boy. Sirius and James had both offered rooms, or in Sirius's case a couch at his place. Peter offered to check with his mother about a spare room, but none of it sat well with Remus. He told them he had a plan, or made an excuse to leave the room every time it came up. He was trying to find a way out of this conversation when Lily continued, "I'm only asking because James promised to pay for me to have this stupid apartment in London to be near him, and there's an extra room, and I don't want to be left alone." She tried to follow the story Sirius and James had fed her, but she wasn't the greatest liar. She figured Remus could see right through her. She looked up like she had said something crazy, but Remus didn't seem to be judging her. "I mean I was thinking we could share, just for awhile." She added. Remus's brain didn't seem to be communicating with his mouth. Lily nudged him encouragingly.

"I'm okay, you know. I'll find something." He coughed out. He squinted up at the brilliant sun, wondering if he said it enough times it would come true. The bookstore had tentatively signed him on, but it wasn't high paying work and the owner spent much of the interview asking him why he was applying to such a simple job when his grades and classes qualified him for high level Ministry work. Remus had fumbled an answer, but the truth was Ministry work involved a background check he wouldn't pass. If he even applied he feared they would find suspicious Mungo's documentation about a boy bitten by a werewolf and he would be black-marked.

Name on a registry, black-marked.

There was no checkmark on the bookstore's application for certifying you weren't a "dark creature". They had taken him, and he hoped it lasted, but he didn't think it would pay well enough for him to have his own place.

"Come on. It could be fun, you can tell me horrible stories about James."

"Can't. Marauder honor." Remus pointed out.

"And I can teach you how to pick up girls, or braid hair." Lily tried again.

Remus tried to smile at her joke. "Yeah, or something." He agreed then sat up straighter and sighed. "I'll be fine Lil." He repeated sounding more sure of himself this time. He got up without letting her speak and walked over to the beach. Lily puffed out a breath of exasperated air. This wasn't going to work.

* * *

"Ministry auror captures death-eater in late night stand-off, saves three." James read off the next morning in between bites of a sweet-roll.

"Did they name the death eater?" Sirius asked.

"Venuti?" James replied with a raised eyebrow. He brushed his fingers off on his shirt and flipped the page. "Never heard of him." He added.

"I have. I suspect we'll know the names of more death eaters than we want to before long." Lily admitted.

"Already know some." James nodded to the door to the great hall where Mulciber was just entering, flocked on either side by death-eater wannabes.

Next to James, Sirius overenthusiastically stabbed a sausage and brought it over to his place ignoring James's snapping owl. "We should just off him now." He grumbled under his breath. No one disagreed, but they knew better than to take the statement seriously.

"James, pay your owl." Lily reminded. James reached out for the tawny owl. Her talons were extra sharp that morning, and he was temporarily refusing to pay her because she had scratched his arm. The tawny owl seemed to glare back until James slipped her a few pieces of his toast as a peace offering. She nibbled at it as he dropped a few coins in her baggie.

Across the table both Peter and Remus were untying letters from home. Remus's was written in a neat script that always looked to James to be written _in_ Remus's own handwriting. His father's handwriting, no doubt, as James could see that a few of the letters were slightly off.

Peter's letter was unevenly folded, tied to the owl with a tight double knot that Peter had to cut with his wand to get off. His mother's shaky writing was obvious across the front. He flicked it open to reveal a full page of writing. He scanned it quickly for anything important before going back to the top to read more thoroughly.

"How's your mother?" Sirius asked from across the table. Peter didn't feel like replying with the full truth; that she was sick and needy, but he shrugged his customary shrug and said she was fine. To Peter's comfort Sirius simply went back to eating breakfast. Peter read through the letter more closely. His mother excitedly enthused that he would be coming home soon, passed on news about the neighbor's disruptive dogs, and how the house needed painting. She rambled, and at times her handwriting was barely legible, but she wrote dutifully. He imagined her sitting at home, on sick leave from her work at the Ministry, writing letters to her son.

"Have you heard of the Five Point Light Theory?" Remus asked leaning over to Peter and glancing at his letter. Peter didn't bother to close it up. Remus scanned the first few lines before looking up at Peter's face for an answer. Peter had never heard of the Five Point Light Theory so he merely shook his head, lost.

"S'kay, I was going to the library today to look it up, and it's raining so I thought you might want to go?" He asked. Peter was trying to figure out if Remus was being serious about going to the library or if he was trying to avoid a Sirius and James pranking day by slipping off. Peter hadn't been tuned into the conversation going on around him long enough to figure out which it was. However he trusted Remus, and if it turned out the boy was going to the library to study he could always slip off with an excuse about having a headache.

"Sure." he finally said with a shrug.

"Cool." Peter couldn't tell from the answer if he had made the right choice. He folded his letter back up in its crooked manner and stuffed it into an inner pocket of his robe.

He and Remus left the table a few minutes later when Peter began to suspect the other two were up to something. Remus tapped him on the back as they slipped down the aisle and whispered, "Where do you actually want to go?" with a cheeky smile. Peter sighed in relief.

"What are they up to?" He asked in a hushed tone.

"Something about Snape and I don't want a last minute detention, or a lecture from Lily." Remus admitted. "But I don't know how they're going to find him without the map."

"I think they just have a Snape sensor in their heads." Peter said, not using Snape's nickname, knowing Remus wasn't the biggest fan of it. They had reached the safety of the halls and could speak at a regular volume now. "How about the Owlery. I think I forgot to get Yippers a snack." Peter suggested.

"Fair enough." Remus agreed. They turned out of the Great Hall and headed up the marble staircase. "So how is your mom?" Remus asked calmly. Peter sighed and shook his head.

"She never says anything about it, just says she misses me and that my aunt is a crazy overbearing nightmare."

"Your aunt _is_ a crazy overbearing nightmare." Remus said looking at Peter. The previous summer he had visited Peter's home while his mother's sister was also there, and the iron fist with which she ruled the house rivaled that of McGonagall.

"True. Doesn't mean it has to be in every letter. My aunt is kind of the reason my mother is still around." Peter sighed.

"Sorry." Remus acknowledged, realizing what Peter meant.

"No it's true, she's crazy." Peter sighed. They had reached The Owlery and Remus slowly opened the door to the feathery tower. Peter sneezed as the smell of bird hit his nose.

Remus immediately walked to the far window to look out over the grounds and Peter began to search for his family owl that he suspected was resting somewhere. He searched his pockets for the bits of food he had smuggled out for a snack later. He found a biscuit in an inner pocket. His mind was beginning to wander from his mother as he searched through the room for his owl.

"Moony can I ask you something?"

"Uh, sure." Remus responded slipping halfway out the window and straddling the windowsill precariously.

Peter thought about how to word his question. It wouldn't sound right, he knew, but he'd been meaning to ask Remus for days, and he certainly couldn't ask Sirius or James. "Are you scared?" Remus looked out the window unfazed.

"No." He answered without missing a beat, leaning a little further out the window so he could see a group of first years playing tag in the rain. He leaned his back against the window side calmly. Peter seemed shocked for a minute about the curt response, then realized what Remus thought he meant.

"No, um, not the window. I mean in general, like leaving Hogwarts, and, and joining the Order?" He tried to explain. Remus's face became serious with the realization of Peter's meaning. He swung his leg back into the Owlery. Peter pulled the biscuit out of his pocket and fiddled with it so he didn't have to look his friend in the eye. He didn't want Remus to make fun of him for asking. He waited for the taunts, but they never came. Remus was thinking, forming a response, and Peter knew Remus didn't have to think about his witty responses, but he always thought about his serious ones.

"Are you afraid?" Remus decided to ask, in lieu of answering. Peter should have expected a question but his heart felt like it skipped a beat anyway. He didn't want to admit anything he would regret.

"I just keep thinking about how tired my Mum and Dad always looked coming home from work. That'll be us, for the rest of our lives, and then bills, and paperwork, and buying my own food, and apparating to work every day and then James and Sirius on top of all of this want to join an organization that-" Peter stopped abruptly. He needed to think about his words now. If he kept going he wouldn't stop talking, he would say something he would regret. "You think the Order could kill us? I mean Mulciber's already threatened to do it." He finished.

Remus was looking him in the eyes, even though Peter found it hard to reciprocate the gesture. He didn't want to be so afraid, not when everyone else was going at the real world 100 miles an hour. Not when they were making plans to fight, and fight hard. Why did he have to see the world as it was?

"Peter the world's kind of terrifying." Remus said, as if pointing out the obvious. For Remus there had always been fear, a monster looming just out of his sight. The new adult world just meant there would be something easier to fear; joblessness, homelessness, his own cooking.

"No. Even if I was terrified of it all- being a Gryffindor means stuffing the fear and kicking down the door anyway. I mean I don't have a choice in the matter." He was thinking about biting down the fear he felt every month, transforming, waking up bloody and shaking. "Pete _we_ don't have a choice. The big bad world is out there, glaring. It's not going away. What we can control is how we deal with that truth."

Remus watched his friend's reaction, wondering if that was enough. Eventually he knew he needed to address what Peter was really asking about. He tried to find the most encouraging way to phrase it. "As far as the Order goes, it could kill us, maybe, but so could Voldemort." He used the name in defiance, something he had heard Moody do during their first Order meeting. Across the room Peter flinched anyway. " _Voldemort_ could kill me or you any day, and I would rather be staring him down fighting when it happens." Remus finished just as the door to the Owlery swung open with a crash sending several birds hooting and squeaking into the air. A few flew out the window over Remus's head leaving him to crouch down. "Staring them down." Remus repeated with a squinted glare across the room to the door.

"Lupin!" Someone yelled, seeing him from across the room. Remus looked up and into the cold grey eyes of Thomas Avery. He was flocked on either side by a few young, bored looking students. They perked up immediately at the sight of new prey. Remus inwardly rolled his eyes, not wanting to deal with the nonsense of a scuffle. "If it's not the bookkeeper and his trusty sidekick the paper pusher?" Avery slipped under one of the bird's perches so he could see the pair better. His hair was back in its orderly comb over and his self-satisfied smile was firmly in place. "What? Ministry all out of charity positions?" He said lolling his head over to look at Remus.

"Let's go Pete." Remus called across the room, "Avery obviously doesn't know that all the charity positions were filled when his father asked him to work for him, and I wouldn't want to break his heart." Remus saw Peter nod and hurriedly crouch under birds and bars until he was on Remus's side. Remus sized up his options. There was a chance they could walk out the door with nothing but sneers and rude comments, but there was another, more likely chance that hexes would be shot at their retreating backs. Remus's hand slipped into his robe pulling his wand from its holder.

"Have you found a hovel to live in yet?" Avery snipped as Remus and Peter backed toward the door.

"No, but your Mum does owe me a favor. Maybe I could shack up with her?" Peter tried to insult back. Remus gave his companion a bemused glance as they reached the door and turned. Peter shrugged in response.

"We're watching you." A fourth year they hadn't recognized called from Avery's side. They heard Avery smack the kid in the stomach then sneer something about mudblood lovers and cowards as they stepped into the stairwell.

"I say 'go'- we run." Remus muttered to Peter who nodded almost imperceptibly.

Remus heard Avery try to take a step toward the door to send off the expected spell, but the sound was immediately followed by a thump and groan. A silently placed frictionless spell on his shoes had him falling onto the bird-dropping covered floor, cursing and bringing down his slippery-footed friends with him. "Go!" Remus yelled as something sparked over their heads and suddenly he and Peter were hurtling around doors and hallways back toward the tower.

"Sly." Peter breathed as Remus exhaled the password to the Fat Lady.

"I was not in the mood for chatting." Remus grumbled as he stepped through the portrait hole and into the Common Room.

"I wasn't much either." Peter agreed.

They decided to spend the afternoon playing a series of Wizard's Chess games before boredom stuck and they found themselves inventing Wizard's Snapping Chess by adding a deck of Exploding Snap cards to the mix. The small chess pieces had just begun complaining when James and Sirius reappeared. They waved briefly and headed to the dorm, apparently eager to wash something green and slimy out of their hair.

Remus and Peter finished another game before their stomachs started to grumble. "Let's grab dinner?" Remus asked and Peter nodded. "Let's see if the other two want to join."

They stumbled to their feet and headed up to the dorm, their mouths watering over the possibility of dinner.

James and Sirius were staring at them when they entered. James standing, hands on his hips, hair still damp and Sirius sprawled out on his bed, a motorcycle magazine in his hands.

"You said 'no'" James scolded before Remus could walk past. He checked over his shoulder to Peter who shrugged, confused as well.

"What?"

"You said 'no' to Lily?" James clarified. Remus looked surprised.

"Um?"

"You were supposed to move in with her so that I wouldn't have to worry about her, and sleep on her couch under the invisibility cloak every night." James said. Remus continued to stare at him.

"I think Lily can handle herself." Remus stated carefully, then added, "and why do I have to do it, make Sirius live with her." From his bed Sirius laughed.

"James would never do that, he knows no woman can resist my charms. Living with me would be too much for poor Lily's delicate sensibilities." James picked up the nearest pillow and chucked it at his friend. When Lily had failed to convince Remus to move in they had decided on a plan C, but Sirius didn't have to be crude. James still wasn't sure how he felt about the situation and he could tell Remus knew what he was thinking.

The black-haired boy looked momentarily uncomfortable, but didn't admit it. Instead he said, "Look, Sirius has his own place. It's a hole in the wall dump, but it's his." He had never particularly liked the apartment Sirius had bought with his dear uncle's money, but Sirius wouldn't dream of giving it up.

"So I'm naturally the one you go to?" Remus asked.

"Of course! There's no chance of your manliness winning Lily over." Sirius said still pretending to read his motorcycle magazine. Remus didn't dignify that statement with an answer.

"Look Moony, we're all graduating in like three days time, you're the only one of us without a place to go. Lily doesn't want to room with me until we're married. I don't want her living alone, so, yes, you draw the short straw on this one." They stared at each other waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"and-" Remus prompted.

"and?" James wasn't going to say it.

"I don't want to live off your charity, James!" Remus finally stormed.

"It's not charity, Moony. Think about it, I'm freeloading off my parents and Sirius is freeloading off his uncle… kind of."

"She said _you're_ paying for the apartment though."

"I'm paying for the apartment." James admitted. "But only because I'm the one with money and we all agreed to spend our time fighting evil instead of working at stupid, menial jobs." He reminded.

"Well I have a stupid, menial job, so I'll be able to pay for my own housing." Remus said with a deep breath.

"Then pay for your part of the apartment, but don't go homeless." James argued, exasperated.

"What's half the rent for place like that, really James?" Remus countered, knowing a two bedroom apartment was well out of his price range, no matter the situation.

James mumbled something indecipherable.

"Huh?"

"How much is your paycheck?" James asked instead. Remus only glared in response. "Fine. Your half's forty galleons a month but paid in muggle money." James negotiated, guessing how much Remus's paychecks would be.

Remus bit his lower lip, thinking. It was surprisingly low, too low, he knew, but James wouldn't settle, and this fight needed to end. "I can do forty." He agreed.

"Good." James said.

"Good." Remus replied.

* * *

 _A/N -Despite googling. I haven't the shiniest idea how much a two-bedroom apartment in London in 1978 would cost (then convert that cost into Galleons with inflation...)_ _I_ _made it up,_ _like so many other things._


	9. Chapter 9: Graduation

**Chapter 9: Graduation**

The sun rose in a blaze over the eastern horizon with reds and pinks stretching to the edges of James's vision. He was atop the astronomy tower, legs swung over the edge in the bravado of a seventh year who had done this before and was certainly unafraid of heights. A bottle of half-drunken butterbeer in one hand he had waited to greet the morning on his graduation day. He looked pensive, worried as well. Eyes cast out toward the morning glow he couldn't help but wonder what this day would bring.

Seven years ago he had met Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, and they had become the closest of friends. The three boys who he would be close to calling family were stretched out behind him, asleep in the morning dew. What would become of them now that they weren't bound together by a dorm room? "Nothing". James answered himself quietly. There wasn't a power in the world that could pull them apart, or at least that's what he hoped.

After a night of wandering the grounds the boys had settled on the tower to overlook the Hogwarts grounds one last time. Leaning against the wall and curled into their cloaks they had fallen asleep only an hour or so ago when stories and nostalgia had worn themselves out. Their tales, having been told before, were returned to with a rhythm as familiar as a heartbeat as four voices- sometimes fighting for the punch line, sometimes waiting for Sirius's impersonations or Remus's dry wit to fill in the pieces- filled the night air.

Their laughter was loud enough to wake sleeping people floors below, but if professors or students heard, they never came up, never wondered who would be up and about at this unlikely hour. There was no question, and when the students would wander into the great hall hours later there would be no wonder why written in red and gold sparks behind the professors table were the words, "Mischief Managed". James didn't want to say goodbye, but they were done here. They had been class clowns and now they had a new mission. If they succeeded they could end another chapter of their lives with the same iconic phrase, but only if they succeeded, and in war, he knew, there was no failure option.

James took a swig of his butterbeer and glanced at the horizon where dark clouds were moving in. He ran a hand through his hair that was already disheveled despite the lack of even a breeze in the tall tower.

The calm before the storm, James thought.

"Prongs?" Sirius grumbled awake from behind him. James didn't know how to pull himself away from the view. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation but he was having trouble blinking or turning away from the red sky. Sirius pushed Peter's head off his shoulder and struggled to stand. Peter flopped to the ground next to the heavy sleeper that was Remus. Sirius stumbled over to the tower's edge and leaned into it groggily. He tried to rub the tiredness off his face. The world was too bright, and he was just starting to feel the effects of last night's abundant alcohol.

Sirius wanted to say something that would break the moment with a laugh, but nothing came to mind. This was it. Life had been in stasis for months now, and he had to admit what James had told him months ago, that they had to face the real world, and all its ugliness. He yawned and buried his head in his arms for moment. Sirius finally raised his head and sat down on the edge and swung his legs over to match James. Together they watched the colors of the sunrise fade to blue.

Once the last bits of red disappeared the trapdoor screeched open, but neither of them looked to see who it was. "Breakfast'll be ready soon." Lily whispered. Her voice didn't ruin the silence. James smiled, her voice was the only thing that could enhance the silence, but he didn't stop looking at the sky where clouds were starting to spread in pockets of summer puffiness. He hoped the weather would hold. There were talks of thunderstorms. He held a hand out for Lily to take. She sidled up to him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"I want to arrive late this morning." James told Lily. She smiled and nodded into his shoulder then moved to sit beside him. He let go of her hand as she snuggled up next to him and he rested his arm around her shoulder. The gesture was kind, but Lily could feel stiffness in it. She wondered what was causing it probably a myriad of things she reasoned. She curled into his arm breathing in the scent of spilled beer and sweat and smiled. The year may have been coming to a close, but Lily felt that something much better was on the horizon.

They waited there listening to Peter and Remus's rhythmic breathing and watching storm clouds begin to sail toward them.

Once they were certain breakfast had been going for at least a half hour James stretched and swung his legs back onto the Astronomy tower floor. Sirius and Lily followed and James patted Peter and Remus awake, much more kindly than he would normally.

Peter woke with a groan and stood but Remus rolled onto his stomach and buried his head in his arms. Sirius waited a half a minute to see if he would wake before leaning over and lifting the thin boy onto his feet. Once unsteadily standing he mumbled angrily at Sirius but blearily leaned his head into Peter's back and followed them all down into the castle, leaving a pile of empty bottles and food crumbs in their wake.

By the time they arrived in the Great Hall they were all very much awake. James pushed open the doors grandly one last time, a smile creeping onto his features. The younger students would be leaving soon, but for now the castle was filled with noise and excitement. Hogwarts at it's best. There was an electricity in the air, sunlight steaming into through the enchanted ceiling, the Gryffindor banner declaring them house cup winners people talking and laughing. It was home. James smiled flickered with the thought that they were leaving, but returned in full force when he glanced up at the head table.

Dumbledore sat in his center chair a twinkle in his eyes and deer on his left side. He was hand feeding the sweet creature an apple, as a knowing smile passed between himself and the Gryffindor boys. The group began to walk toward their table as a Gryffindor girl stood up on her seat, a puppy in her hands excitedly licking her face. She smiled and waved at them happily. Lily was on James's arm her eyes had grown as wide at the golden saucers reserved the final breakfast of the year. Lily leaned into James to avoid stepping on a few friendly looking mice scampering by. As they slipped in between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables a small white rabbit hopped by. "Rabbit?" She whispered into James's ear as they took a seat.

"Of course, Remus's 'Furry little problem'." James said with a smirk. "We couldn't exactly bring a wolf into the great hall, that would be ridiculous."

"Another wolf." Sirius said sitting down across from him and even Remus cracked a smile.

"Rabbits then." Lily said reaching under the table for a small brown fluffball that had just escaped from the arms of a first year. "This may be the cutest prank you've ever pulled, you know that?" Lily noted mockingly. She held the puppy and used a floppy arm to bob James on the nose. James brushed it away and shrugged.

"Jamie's become a softie." Sirius cooed, forking a sausage onto his plate.

"We were drunk and they were fun to catch and or transfigure." James admitted, "Which reminds me we're gonna need to get some of these creatures out of here before noon, because hedgehogs are terrifying." Lily looked at him incredulously, and he shrugged before looking across the room to the Slytherin table. Mulciber was trying to shoe a bunny rabbit off his plate. Next to him Avery was staring at the thing as if the creature had just spat on his face. James's face fell slightly as a thought caught itself in his throat. There was something distinctly sweet about a bunch of baby animals and with it there was something to be said for innocence…and the loss of it. That night, after graduation they would be at another Order meeting. They would be making plans not to prank, but to main, trap, and send to Azkaban any Death Easter they came across; Mulciber, Avery, Regulus, Snape. James reached out and forked a stack of warm, golden-brown pancakes. The war he had been waiting to fight would begin tonight.

* * *

The ceremony wasn't what they'd expected. Huddled under impromptu tents they could feel the summer humidity rising off the ground as Dumbledore tried to speak over the rumble of thunder. Four banners hanging behind them presented the house colors while a fifth held the Hogwarts crest, but the colors looked somehow dimmer in the afternoon rain.

James found himself battling the feelings of others around him. Throughout the day students' feeling had ranged from sheer joy (high fives and hugs) to melancholy and nostalgic, (several students had burst into tears as they packed their things). Someone behind him was sniffling at Dumbledore's words and James realized suddenly that he hadn't been listening. If the Headmaster had given some piece of sage wisdom, he had completely missed it. Parents were spread around in front as the students sat behind the headmaster and James was busy scanning the crowd, not only for his parents, but those of the Slytherin students; his older adversaries. James could feel a glare from Mulciber right behind him. Worry crept over him because they had said right after the ceremony, but he didn't believe it would be _right_ after the ceremony.

The podium speakers changed as Professor Sprout came forward to present diplomas to the Hufflepuff students. War was still whispering in his ear minutes later when McGonagall called him forward to receive his diploma. She smiled with a little pride and, James thought, relief as they shook hands. She called the last two Gryffindors forward and James retook his seat.

Professor Flitwick called the Ravenclaws' forward to receive their diplomas and James caught sight of a grim-faced older version of Avery five rows back in the parent's section. Next to him a proud and haughty looking woman was holding a muggle umbrella so that those sitting behind her had to bend at strange angles to see the stage. James grimaced at the pair and tried to calm his nerves as Helga, a Ravenclaw who had just outperformed Lily, grade-wise, rose to say a few words. James couldn't follow the girl's scattered thinking, a riddle, and maybe a piece of advice and he was relieved when she sat back down. He noticed his leg bouncing on the stage and quickly stopped it as Dumbledore finally retook the podium turned around to face the graduates and held out his wand.

With an intricate and beautiful wave of his wand and a short spell what looked like hundreds of spindly blue streamers shot from his wand and flew to their individual diplomas which glowed for a few brief seconds before returning to their original color of parchment. Somewhere at the Ministry of Magic their names were being scratched onto a list of graduates.

"Congratulations to the Hogwarts class of 1978." Dumbledore finished with a broad smile. "And you may now throw your hats into the air." A few students, James included looked at the beaming Headmaster confused; throw their hats? Remus and Lily both laughed and pulled off their pointed wizard's hats before tossing them into the air jubilantly. Before long, like popcorn the whole group of students had tossed their hats into the air, smiles and giggles spreading like wildfire across the damp ceremony. James noticed a few of the more staunchly anti-muggle students kept their hats firmly in place while the remainder of the smiling graduates called out to friends to retrieve their hats off the wet floor. They replaced the soggy caps on their heads as Dumbledore dismissed them with another congratulations, a wink, and a "good luck".

Students slipped on the wet wooden steps as they went to greet parents with outstretched arms.

James slowly tried to convince himself that nothing could happen to them on Hogwarts grounds. This ground was protected, Dumbledore had promised. He stepped carefully off the stage and turned to help Lily down. Remus was standing at the bottom of the stairs already, hands clutched around his diploma giving it an almost reverential stare. Sirius bounced off the stage, ignoring the stairs and messed his hair. "You're not marrying the paper, mate, no need to stare like that." He smirked before knocking Remus's head forward in a friendly toss and releasing his wet hair.

"I wasn't." Remus tried to start, redness washing into his face, but just at that moment Sirius became distracted by the sight of James's parents. He patted Remus on the shoulder and gave him wide smile that said he understood exactly why Remus was so entranced with his diploma before skipping off through the puddles to meet up with the Potters, the tail of his black robes becoming spattered in mud.

Remus glanced across the grounds to where he was sure he had seen his parents during the ceremony. He saw Peter talking to disoriented looking woman under and umbrella held up by a woman with wispy red-dyed hair and stern features. Past them he saw his father pointing out all the different places across the grounds to his mother who looked around with a delighted light sparkling bright behind her eyes. She continued to stare in wonder at all his father had to say despite the drearyness of the day and the wetness of her small heals as they sunk into the dirt. Eventually the pair's eyes came to settle on their son and beaming smiles of pride washed over them as he hurried to their side and the safety of his father's well-practiced water-repelling charms.

Not far from the stage James and Lily had met up with his parents. His father held an umbrella above the pair's head as James's mother enveloped him in a crushing hug. She was mumbling about how proud they were of him as she let go and turned her attention onto Lily.

"And Lily, dear how sweet you look!" She said reaching out to stroke the girl's cheek.

"Mrs. Potter." Sirius said sneaking up under the group's umbrella. He pecked James's mother on the cheek and reached out to shake Mr. Potter's hand.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you sir. Mrs. Potter you're looking lovely today." Sirius said with a charming smile. Sirius had a soft spot for James's parents that he found hard to cover up.

"Oh you are a doll Sirius. Are you coming for lunch?"

"There's lunch!" He asked with wide eyes.

"We were going to take Lily and James out before they head to their new apartments. We expected you would want to join us, unless you had other plans." Mr. Potter replied looking around for Sirius's parents. Sirius snorted at the man's unspoken thought.

"I'm not sure my mother remembers or cares that I'm her son. I would love to join you!" There was a flicker of sadness across Mrs. Potter's features but she welcomed Sirius into a swift hug before ushering the small group around the castle toward the carriages.

"Lily! Lily!" Lily turned from under the protection of Mrs. Potter's umbrella. Not far from them Severus stood in the harsh elements, half obscured by the edge of the castle, waiting to see if his once best friend would acknowledge him. Lily knew what James and Sirius were thinking. She could hear them as James tried to respect her and therefore drag a grumbling Sirius toward a carriage. Her heart leapt for the Gryffindor. Severus's usually pale face was waxy in the poor lighting and he looked tired and sad, she noticed, as she crept wearily closer to him.

"Severus." She answered him, giving him permission to step closer. He slipped over to her, pulling at the ends of his sleeves in nervous agitation. "How are you?" Lily asked as he reached her side. Severus looked surprised at her, not expecting any kindness from his estranged best friend.

"Fine." He flustered, before looking up at the wet sky. He reached out, touching her arm and Lily pulled away until she realized he was just guiding her with him to step under the small roof overhang, protecting them from some of the rain. He quickly pulled his arm back into himself and crossed it with the other over his chest. "How are you?" He asked, returning the kind question.

"Do you want something Severus?" Lily asked instead. Severus watched Lily carefully, looking her in the eye.

"This is it isn't it?" He asked, though he very much knew the answer.

"Severus." He ignored her and began digging into his pockets for something, eventually pulling out a small and papery object. He held it out to her and Lily could just recognize the small flower from under his fingers.

"From when we pressed them all those years ago. I promised you one when we graduated." Lily held out her hand and let the flower fall onto it. She remembered them pressing them the day after they met. It was the flower she was holding when Severus had rushed up to her and her sister at the playground. Its delicate petals were damp and battered from Severus's pocket and it didn't look so much of a flower as a pile of dirty petals around a brittle orange ball. She thumbed one of the petals lightly, the dried velvet of the petal felt somehow dead in her hand. She remembered her sister, and her friendship with Severus. Lily glanced up. Severus wasn't looking at the flower, but her. There was hope in his dark eyes. He wanted this to be an apology, however small. She couldn't accept it; either the apology or the reminder of the losses she had faced at home and at Hogwarts.

"Keep it." She offered holding it back out to him. "I think it means more to you than to me." A flickering of sadness crossed his eyes, but he buried it, he thought, before Lily could see. Hiding feelings was a trick he was good at, and something that worked with others but it didn't work with Lily. She saw the sadness under the layers of protective barrier, and she felt it deep in her heart, but couldn't do anything about it.

"You know it's just as stupid flower." He admitted, reaching across the distance between them and roughly snatching the flower back up. He crumpled it in his fist, wet and dissolving before tossing it onto the ground next to the castle wall. There was a heavy silence between them. Lily considered small talk such as asking about his parents, what his plans were, the weather but it would be silly, and worse it would be a lie. It would be a lie to make Severus think that she could ever be friends with him again, not when he had chosen dark arts and the death eaters. So she ran through every goodbye she could think of from "see you around" to "take care" but they weren't right, and eventually she just nodded, water flicking off her forehead and whispered "goodbye" before turning away, her eyes briefly catching on the flower at their feet.

"Be good Lily." Severus whispered to her back. He stood still for a moment watching her walk back to James who stood cross-armed in the rain eyeing him suspiciously. Not wanting them to see him he waited until the pair had turned away before leaning down and snatching up what remained of the flower, a few raggedy petals in his hand.

The rain began pouring harder and families began moving into the entryway to chat, make plans and wait for available carriages. Though Remus had found his parents straight off he disappeared briefly to help Peter steer his mother and aunt to a carriage. His mother was looking frail and a little confused. Remus had to remind her that he was a friend of Peter's twice as they walked around the castle. Peter gave him one last thankful look as he stepped into the black carriage. "See you at your apartment later today then?" He asked.

"Sounds good, see you." He replied letting the other boy shut the door as the rain began to come down in sheets and lighting struck not far from the castle. Remus ran back into the building where two smiling faces were waiting for him.

"Got yourself drenched, hmm son?" His father asked brushing water out of the boy's light brown hair. It matched his own in color but not length, as the older gentleman had cut his fairly recently. He followed this by wand drying his son's clothes. The woman next to him reached out to stroke his face.

"We missed you." She said sweetly.

"I know, but you know, school." He smiled unapologetically. His father let out a short laugh before his disbelief overcame him and he pulled his son in for a hug,

"We are so, so proud of you." His mother leaned in to join the hug kissing her son's damp head in the process. His father let go and held Remus at an arms length, looking over his son and Remus could see for the first time tears just on the edges of his eyes. "I never thought I would see it." He admitted, and Remus's stomach squirmed at the casual way his father always seemed to doubt him.

"I always knew you would dear." His mother said from his side, stroking his cheek. Her hair was much darker then either of theirs, pulled back into a bun. Her eyes, too, were dark brown, but they were warm and had always reminded Remus horribly of a bar of dark chocolate.

"And now you have a job at a bookstore. Phenomenal." His Father added in an awestruck voice. Remus nodded, not sure what to add that he hadn't already told them in a letter except the one thing he had been keeping quiet. The Order. He needed to tell them eventually. He looked at their smiling faces and took in deep breath.

"Can we talk for a minute?" He asked nervously motioning to the marble staircase away from the crowding families. His parents followed him mutely to the stairs and sat down on either side of him, close with warmth. He knew he needed to tell him he was joining the war. He had sidestepped the issue with every mention of his future and every question about where he was living and what he was going to be doing. He considered keeping them in the dark, but he knew his parents and they wouldn't stop him from fighting, they would just wonder, and worry.

"I'm living in London, you both know that." He started slowly. His parents sat quietly, becoming nervous about what their son would have to say.

"With that Lily girl, you were telling us. She's James's girlfriend?" His mother clarified. Remus nodded rubbing his hands together as he thought. Thoughts about everything they had tried to protect him from, everything they had given him.

"So, there's a reason for that." He tried to start. His father laughed beside him.

"Of course there is! Young people go to the city, your friends are there-" His father started but Remus cut him off.

"I can't sit back and let people die." It came out apologetic, he didn't want it to, but it did. "I have to fight Mum." His eyes automatically darted to her. He knew before he looked that a hand was going to be covering her mouth, that pools of water would we welling in the bottom of her eyes, but the light of her eyes wouldn't be out. He cursed inwardly at doing this to her, but it had never really been a question of would, but how. His father held out a comforting hand to her, and she took like a life raft to the drowning. Behind the worry Remus saw resolve in his father's expression. "There's an organization. I can't tell you about it, but I'm joining, and I'm going to fight-" He paused at the name before saying resolutely, "-Voldemort." A shiver passed through both his parents before they regained their composure.

"I'm proud of you." His father said slowly, as if talking himself into believing it. It wasn't the same pride his father had felt about the Hogwarts diploma, the unreserved joy. This was pride laced with fear.

"I'm sorry. I have to-"

"I know." His father said a little too quickly.

"I know." It was his mother this time. She brushed the tears away from her eyes and pulled him into a sloppy hug. She held him there for several moments until he was able to break out and wrap his own arms around her.

"I've got to fight." He whispered into her hair. She smelled of rain and laundry fresh from the line. She smelled like home. His mother nodded.

She eventually leaned back and looked him in the eyes. Remus could tell she wanted to tell him he had to take care of himself, to be safe, but those words were worthless for a boy going to war. She held onto either side of his face, she could feel the roughness of a five o'clock shadow, could see a thin scar next to his nose that wasn't there when she had last seen him. He had a life of his own. He wasn't a boy.

She eventually nodded, and Remus couldn't help but reach around her shoulders to hold her for another few moments. His father put a heavy hand on his shoulder.

* * *

The Potters took the small group out to a nice lunch on the edge of James's hometown. A restaurant they had frequented as he grew up. Sirius entertained them with stories as Lily tried to edit the tales and James added emphasis when needed. James watched his parents in a new light. They looked old for the first time in his memory, and his mother kept repeating herself. Sirius glanced worriedly at James as he told Mrs. Potter about his apartment for the second time. Mr. Potter looked apologetically at the boy as he stroked his wife's back lovingly. James noticed something lingering on the edge of the conversation. His father's eyes would dart to him, then away, as if he were trying to say something he couldn't quite articulate yet. As he asked for the check he finally turned to his son and James felt a constricting worry settle in his chest.

"James." His father started with a deep intake of breath and James could feel himself hold his own breath.

"Your mother and I are moving." James squinted, not sure why this information was sitting so heavily on his father's shoulders. His mother reached across the table and pressed his hands between two soft warm ones.

"We are getting older." He explained. "and this…situation." He looked sideways at his wife. "Well since you've graduated and have a place of your own, your mother and I want to go find safety in a different country. Somewhere where we can live easily, in peace, without all the threats. Do you understand?" James nodded. He understood, they were leaving, possibly forever. His eyes batted back and forth between his parents. "We wanted to ask if you would come?"

As James said, "I'm fighting."

His father said, "but I know you're fighting." A grin crossed the man's worn features; A proud one, and a worried one. "You're a good son." He chuckled.

James nodded as the waiter placed the check onto the table. Both men reached out for the bill, but James's father paid in the end.

A half hour later outside the restaurant saying goodbye was somehow harder then he James had expected. His mother hugged him with as much warmth as she had always done, and his father made sure he had all the information to get into his Gringotts vault and access the furniture they were leaving behind. James thought Sirius would never let go of his mother, and Lily had to pry him off so she could hug her. "We'll come back for…well you know if there's a wedding we'll come back for it, of course." Mrs. Potter flustered to Lily as she straightened the girl's sleeves and brushed her hair behind her shoulder, tears beginning to sparkle in her eyes. Lily blushed red, but didn't say anything. James kissed his mother's cheeks again and the older pair departed from under the restaurant awning and into the rain.

* * *

Remus met them on the street outside the apartment building, his trunk at his feet spelled to repel water and himself dripping wet.

"Umbrellas my friend." Sirius reminded stepping up beside him.

"Drying spell." Remus countered with a shrug.

"Come on. The apartment's up here." James said pulling out some keys and unlocking the front door. They walked up two flights of stairs and down a skinny barren hallway with drab grey paint and flickering muggle lighting.

"This is you." He said smiling and handing the two key copies to Lily and Remus. The latter stared at the key a little disbelieving. Their door was thin wood with a gold-painted number 4 screwed to it.

Lily shot Remus an excited smile and unlocked the door with some difficulty. They stepped into the space and took it in. They were in a living space while to their right was a small kitchen cut off from the rest of the room by a counter and cabinets hanging from the ceiling. The carpet was a bit dingy and there was no furniture to speak of, but it was satisfying to be standing in a place they could call their own.

"Wow." Lily said looking at the open living space.

Remus looked mildly stunned, "My dad said I could bring my bed down from the house." He finally stated, not sure what else to say, not sure what he could offer.

"Yeah, and Mom and Dad said we could have some things from home. They're putting most of it into storage anyway. We can get you a couch."

"And some bookshelves?" Lily asked excitedly.

"Of course." He said coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiled up at him as he kissed her cheek.

"I think it'll work." Lily decided.

"Which one's Moony's room?" Sirius asked from their left, down a short hallway where a door sat on either side leading to small, dull bedrooms. Lily glanced over to Remus, who apparently hadn't even registered the fact that Sirius had spoken.

"The smaller one." Lily replied for him.

"Good choice my lady." Sirius called. "I think someone might've died in the smaller one anyway. Shall I put a lock on it now or wait until later?"

"We don't have to lock Remus in. I trust him." Lily declared with a mock glare.

"Yeah, but James doesn't." Sirius retorted. Remus still didn't budge or blink. Still held in James's embrace Lily kicked out to him to awaken him from his stupor.

"Huh?" He asked, spinning to look at her.

"You get the small room." She informed him.

"Yeah, sure that works… James this is really okay right? I mean I can pay you back after my first paycheck…" James sighed and down the hall Sirius pounded his head into the wall exasperatedly.

"Remus! You could live here even if you were using it to host an illegal house-elf fighting ring." Sirius yelled into the wall.

James laughed into Lily's hair. "We draw the line at death eaters and Lily kidnappers." He decided.

"I don't think I'm going to do that." Remus said solemnly, missing the joke. He stepped over his trunk and walked to one of his windows that overlooked the quiet road below. The view wasn't great, but for someone who never thought he would have his own place it was breathtaking. "Thanks." He mumbled wiping away the fog that had accumulated on the window from his breath.

"Don't mention it." James said then added, "Just make sure you make it to the Order meeting tomorrow night…Consider it your work for me."

Remus nodded jerkily. "Done", he whispered.


	10. Chapter 10: Things to Learn

**Chapter 10: Things to Learn**

The apartment came together quickly. Between James's parent's old things and a trip to a second-hand store that Remus missed due to his first day of work the place was filled by their second night. Boxes were left unpacked, and furniture was placed randomly throughout the apartment. One kitchen table took up all the extra space in the kitchen, and another table was placed in the living room, though this still only sat three or four. They brought in a couch and a coffee table and a bookshelf, and Lily quietly began learning expanding charms. When Remus returned from work one day he discovered the kitchen cabinets looking somehow slightly larger. Nonetheless the place looked settled, and warm.

"How was work?" Lily asked as Remus stumbled into the house and subsequently into the side of a box. Their relationship had changed when the pair had become roommates and they were still trying to figure out all the rules. A layer of formality had grown between them and they found themselves falling back on small talk whenever they were left alone. They weren't uncomfortable or unhappy. On the contrary they each thought the other was a delightful flat mate, but when it came to walking down the hall in a towel or accidentally opening a box of the other's undergarments, they were a little uneasy.

"Fine. The manager keeps giving me these weird looks like he still doesn't believe I took the job." Remus said wandering through the maze of unpacked things and into the kitchen. He rummaged for a pot unsuccessfully.

"Tea?" Lily asked jumping from her seat on the kitchen table and wandering to a box in the corner.

"Yes, please." Remus said turning and leaning into the counter. Lily pulled a light green kettle out of the box and handed it across the table to Remus. "James and Sirius are coming over later, they were going to grab Peter if they could pry him away from work."

Remus nodded, "I heard the new job is rough. He seems to like it though." Remus filled the kettle with water and lit the stove with his wand.

"Found the tea." Lily said handing the container over to Remus who took it gratefully.

"Hey Remus?" Lily suddenly sounded nervous.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Already did, but I'll make an exception for you." He mumbled without thinking.

"Right." Lily perched herself on the table and rubbed her jeaned legs nervously. "I was just wondering, well… If you had plans." Remus popped the lid of the tin of tea and couple packets fell out onto the counter.

"Huh?" He asked dully, picking them back up and turning to face her.

"Like for the moon?" She pressed.

"Oh?" Remus said suddenly realizing what she meant. "Oh. . Yeah, 'course we do. Well a couple. Really. There's the place behind my old house if we get desperate, and the Shrieking Shack's still protected."

"Oh. Good. Sorry I was just wondering." Remus continued to watch her. Though she looked down at her interlaced fingers she didn't seem quite finished with her thought.

"So the others will go with you though, right, so you… I mean you can get back if you're all. . . like you are?"

"That's the plan." Remus said quirking half a smile at Lily's awkwardness. "Should be able to just side along apparate back to wherever."

"Mungo's?"

Remus bit his lip. St. Mungo's was the last place he wanted to go; A trail of paperwork once a month right after the full moon. They probably wouldn't ask questions just stick him in a ward with the rest of the werewolves, add his name to the registry and leave it at that. "Rather not." He finally admitted.

"Oh. So. .. "

"Listen, if me bleeding on the carpet'll freak you out I can go to Sirius's and sleep on his couch. Trust me that thing has seen worse."

"No, no don't do that, don't worry about it. Just, like, who's going to fix you up though?"

"Pete's getting good at healing spells and James can do a lot, he and Sirius are always having to fix each others' scrapes, and well-" It was Remus's turn to cough nervously. "I was meaning to ask you. You're the best of us at potions, I thought I might ask you, well, with my help we can probably scrape together a few potions."

Lily was nodding slowly, taking the plan in. To her it sounded terrible, but she understood his reasoning. He couldn't have been on the werewolf registry if he were at Hogwarts and he probably didn't want to be added now. In her research after finding out, she had come across a stack of restrictive legislature related to werewolves that made her squirm. "I think I can do that." Lily said nodding. The water began to boil and the kettle began to whistle sending puffs of steam into the air. Remus turned around to scramble through a box on the counter for a mug. Finding a pink one he cleaned it quickly on his sleeve and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Want a cup?" Remus asked.

"No thanks." Lily replied. Remus nodded and headed around the edge of the counter and back into the living room.

"Hey, where are the books?" He called back.

"I have no clue."

"I'm going to start unpacking then. I'm looking for something."

"What?"

"Some defense book James got me in sixth year. It's around here somewhere."

"Haven't seen them, good luck though."

Remus unpacked six boxes and drank two cups of tea by the time James and Sirius stumbled into the apartment without knocking.

"We are meeting Auror Moody tomorrow for lessons." James exclaimed, rubbing his hands together excitedly. Lily poked her head around from the kitchen where she was stacking plates into the cupboards.

"Dueling?" Remus asked smiling.

"Hopefully."

"He might just spend the hour hexing you and screaming 'constant vigilance'." Lily warned.

"Is that what he did to you?" James asked. Sirius stepped over a box and fell onto the couch relaxing against the armrest.

"It's a constant state of existence for him, but it happened more frequently in my first lesson, yes."

Sirius whistled. "Well then we'll just have to see how he fares against a marauder. I _am_ constant vigilance." Sirius praised himself. Remus flicked a look to James and together they whipped out their wands and both sent spells in his direction. Sirius twitched and with a squeal from a combination itching and dancing feet spell fell of the couch and onto the floor.

"Constantly?" Remus asked ducking from a returned bat-bogy hex.

"You want to start this?" Remus asked pointing his wand at his friend.

"Don't break my apartment!" Lily scolded.

"You watch yourself Moony, watch yourself." Sirius righted himself then lurched threateningly toward Remus. "Who has to be constantly vigilant now?"

"Peter'll be here in a few." James informed the group ignoring the spar and walking into the kitchen. "What should we do for food?"

Lily frowned. "I have no idea, I'm terrible at this being-an-adult-and-making-my-own-food thing." She got up and looked into their magically cooled cabinet. There was a sandwich, a container of leftover pasta and a half empty bottle of wine.

"I just order out, lots of good muggle food to eat." Sirius called from the living room.

"I can make pasta." Remus suggested.

"I spent most of last summer eating sandwiches." Lily admitted chewing on her bottom lip. A crack outside the door alerted them to Peter's arrival. Sirius rushed to the door and opened it with a flourish. "Welcome to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Moony, please make yourself at home." James chucked a wad of newspaper at Sirius from the kitchen as Peter stepped into the room holding a covered dish.

"We need to get on the floo network." Remus reminded from the floor where he was sorting schoolbooks once again.

"My mom sent a casserole." Peter said holding out his dish.

"Your Mom?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow thinking of the woman's last attempt at cooking.

"I made it." Peter reassured. "She just told me to bring it to you all." Remus seemed to relax.

Sirius lifted the top and saw a bubbling cheesy surface. He sighed happily. "We shall live to see another day!" He declared cheerily.

"Bring it in here Pete. This is perfect we were just talking about dinner." Lily called from the kitchen where she had pinned herself in with boxes.

Peter smiled at his success. "My mom said she needed to send a housewarming gift. I talked her out of bright orange hot pads and a weird troll-carved wooden spatula...thing." He admitted. Lily made a face imagining anything carved by a troll and was thankful for this offering instead.

Everyone wandered to the edge of the small kitchen following the smell of fresh cooked food greedily. They all took a deep breath.

"One of us needs to learn to cook." Remus finally said as they all took in one last lungful.

Lily nodded her agreement. "Grab us some plates?" Remus reached around James's head and opened a cabinet as James ducked out of the way. Lily watched then decided, "We'll eat in the living room, there's no space in here for five." Remus handed the plates to Lily, and she found some silverware in a drawer. She dished out portions of the casserole and handed them out to impatiently waiting hands. They enjoyed their meal among boxes of clothes, trinkets, dishes, and books.

* * *

They had their first lesson with Moody the next day. They met in the vaulted warehouse they had cleaned the month before and where, according to Lily, half the subsequent Order meetings had been held. The tables were still set up but pushed forward some so one side of the room was open space.

They arrived before Moody and searched the space for any traps the older man might have set. They were taking the warning to be constantly vigilant seriously. They found nothing however and at exactly 7 Moody stepped through the door and walked over to the gathered group his face as scarred and hard looking as ever. "Line up." He commanded and the marauders fell into a flat line hands wrapped nervously around their wands.

"First thing to know-" Moody grumbled eyeballing the line, "What was your first mission for the Order of the Phoenix?" He demanded pointing his own wand at James who raised his in return immediately.

"Cleaning this place." James responded distaste in his mouth from the memory.

"and you-" He said pointing his wand at Sirius. "Your mother had a very precious necklace that the auror department had to confiscate when you were twelve. What color was it?"

Sirius held his own wand up at Moody and scanned his memory. "It was gold, my favorite color, she always whined at my father because it wasn't silver." Sirius smirked.

"Good. And now you Mr. Pettigrew, where did we first meet?" Moody said skipping over Remus to ask Peter something. Remus made his glare evident.

"Uh. . Dumbledore's office." Peter stumbled over his words holding his wand in his hand, but not pointing it at anything in particular. Moody considered his answer then used the tip of his wand to bring the tip of the boy's wand up so that it pointed ahead. "Does you no good to shoot at the ground." Moody took a step back and stopped in front of Remus. Remus didn't raise his own wand, but held it tight in his hand, ready for anything. He was still slightly nervous about pointing a wand at a ministry official. "Who was there when we first met Mr. Lupin?"

Remus's glare didn't break as he answered "The four of us, Lily Potter, Headmaster Dumbledore, Alice Longbottom and Edgar Bones." He listed. Moody nodded and glanced at the wand in Lupin's hand before turning to look at James and Sirius again.

"And where might I ask was Edgar sitting when we first met?" Remus bit out his wand suddenly up, his eyebrow cocked. Moody's attention snapped back to Remus.

"hmf." He gave Remus an appraising look, as if he were considering something important, then answered, "Behind Dumbledore's desk, dinking around with the headmaster's things." Remus and Moody sized one another up then Moody stepped away from the group completely.

"That was the first, but not the most important item. You must understand the importance of having certainty of another's identity. Pollyjuice potions, dark spells, concealment charms can all mess with identity. This all falls under one single, more important rule."

"Constant vigilance." Sirius yelled, proud of himself. Moody snapped a glare at him so fast that James feared he had snapped his neck that was so scarred as to look wooden.

"Rule one for you Mr. Black is to _shut up_." Moody yelled back. Sirius didn't flinch. "But nonetheless correct. Constant vigilance." He said it again eyeing each of them in turn. He stared for several moments then broke in to a rant that lasted for forty-five minutes and covered important points they were missing because they weren't in regular auror training. He told them about sizing up an enemy, identifying an assailant under threat of death, seeing through the obvious to the important, about making nanosecond decisions, all of these underbroken by cries of constant vigilance.

"Let's see how well you all duel, pair up." Moody decided suddenly, shaking Sirius and James out of their tired stares. They paired up and left and Remus and Peter to turn to each other.

They sparred a few rounds with Moody barking orders and perfecting their forms. He was harsh and precise in his directions, and nothing less than perfect was enough. Moody soon found Remus's form to be precise enough for a vague note acceptance. However both Sirius and James were frustrated by the time an hour had passed without a single piece of positive encouragement from the auror, but that seemed to be his way.

Moody eventually directed them to switch partners and practice a few new spells for disarming and an intricate one for stunning body parts of the opponent. The last ten minutes were spent on reviewing every shielding spell they had ever learned.

Moody called them back into a line. "Despite being just out of Hogwarts, you lot look better than some fresh faced trainees, so I'm not giving up on you yet." He admitted. "There might be some use in you lot yet. Get some sleep, practice defensive spells until you can do them in your sleep, and if you come next Tuesday unable to perfectly perform a numbing hex you will be out of the Order before you can sneeze. Dismissed. Lupin you can stay." The marauders relaxed but didn't move to leave. They felt strange about leaving Remus alone with an auror. Their friend had never been particularly fond of anyone from the ministry, let alone an auror. This was not without reason. It was well known that, despite laws related to unchanged werewolves having "beings" status, "mistakes" happened and everyone was more than willing to turn a blind eye. Moody waited for the others to leave, but when they continued to mill around he growled at them to head out before he turned them into something small and earless.

The marauders wearily slipped through the door and out into the muggy summer night. Remus was left alone, standing defiantly before the maroon-robed auror, his heart racing in his throat.

"You act like you were raised in a nice house." Moody stated looking Remus up and down again. Remus felt the man's eyes pierce into him.

"Nice as can be." Remus agreed making sure his voice didn't crack.

"Real nice manners on you." He continued. Remus nodded, not sure where this was going. He felt nervous and exposed in the cold empty warehouse, but he refused to show it. He kept his eyes hovering just above the table a few steps in front of himself. Moody made a grumbling hrumph and walked over to the table.

"What do you know about feral werewolves?" The auror asked slowly pulling a stack of shrunken books out of his cloak pocket. Remus could feel his legs try to turn to jelly below him, his heart skipped a beat. His focus turned from the table to the man's eyes, one staring right at him the other still whirring around.

"Not much, sir." The question didn't mean anything. It meant nothing at all.

"hmm… Fine, you're first job then is to read these." And Moody let the stack of books fall onto the table. He restored them to their proper size then stepped away. Remus recognized the titles, and would have even wondered if they were the same copies he had pulled from the Hogwarts shelf in his panic a few months back if those hadn't been burnt and chucked out a window. Their scratched and shredding bindings glared at him from the table. Moody caught the recognition in the boy's eye.

"You've read these?"

Remus glared. "Every single one. Thanks." The titles mocked him in the dim light. "You ask me to stay in order to kill me?"

Moody's spinning eye stopped abruptly, staring right at Remus's heart. "What's that?" he growled. The corner of his lip formed into a rough snarl.

"Auror- Dark. Wizard. Killer." Remus spat stepping forward and flicking the edge of one of the books.

"That's what all the paperwork says-" Moody replied slowly. "and if I see one I'll be sure to kill it."

Remus motioned to himself; his drab, patched attire, the scars, the thin-soled shoes, Moody took them all in and made a grumbling noise again. "Give me reason lad, and I'll be the first one to shoot you down. Until then you're as fit as the rest of those half-wit Hogwarts boys." Moody paused, "Possibly more."

"Then you know?"

"Not many boys by the name of Remus Lupin being carried into Mungo's on the same night you get you eye blasted out." Moody said pointing to his spinning prosthetic.

"So no one told you?" Remus asked barely above a whisper.

"You wondering if the other members of the Order know?" Moody asked stepping close enough to Remus that he could smell the man's mothy robes. Remus didn't ask the question but looked at Moody inquisitively instead. "They don't know." Moody stepped away. "Not that I don't think they should." Moody squinted. "They're good people."

"Most people are." Remus agreed, "Doesn't make a difference." He finished with weariness behind his eyes that Moody couldn't help but notice.

"Your secret's safe as long as you want it to be." Moody decided. "But you need to trust those you're working with, especially now." He gave Remus an intense stare before continuing, "Read these, find out what you can about feral werewolves. It could come in handy." Remus nodded.

"Now go catch up with your pack before they decide I've killed you and rush back in here on a rescue mission." Moody ordered. His eye was on the door surely looking at a band of boys on the other side ready to spring in at the first sign of trouble. He shrunk the books back down and handed them over. Remus glanced back at the auror before leaving through the front door. The older man was leaning against the table arms crossed over his broad chest his good eye staring at the ceiling and his prosthetic one spinning around. He had spent so long trying to forget the night he was bitten he doubted if he could remember a one eyed auror if he tried.

* * *

The next meeting wasn't until late that week and most of the marauders were secretly holding their breaths that they would start real work soon.

"There has been activity at the Malfoy manor, but no confirmed sightings of Voldemort" Moody continued in his gruff voice. Peter was doing everything he could to stay awake. He was pulling extra hours at the office to get on his boss's good side and hopefully get moved out of his tiny, shared office. During nights he was lined up with the rest of the marauders having spells and rules drilled into his head or sometimes slammed into it. Either that or there were meetings, endless meetings. He couldn't be less interested in here-say about a manor, but the Auror grumbled on. His eyes drooped and Remus had the gull to swat him back into consciousness. He sat up and crossed his arms, hoping the change in position would awaken him, but it did little good. Across from him at the metal table James and Sirius were hanging on to every word. Remus was doing his best to keep his friend awake and not scratch down notes on the edge of the sheets of paper before him. He had been yelled at for that on a previous occasion.

Moody was the last of seven updates that evening. The longest meeting yet, and most of the Order was present. Peter was thankful though, if Moody didn't have something to be upset with the gathered group about he was usually short in his presentations. "Finally we'll need watchers for the next month in Knocturn." He said looking around the tables at everyone. He pressed his fists into the tabletop, scarred knuckles turning white, and leaned in, "As this is somewhat simple work, I want to propose using this as training for our newest members. Pair them with experienced Order members and have them on watch rotations." Peter's friends leaned forward with such intensity that he could have believed someone was dangling a hog-tied Mulciber before them. James looked ready to jump out of his skin with excitement. After two weeks of complaining his wish was coming true.

"I think that's awesome! I want that one." Fabian Prewett agreed enthusiastically pointing at James's back. Sirius looked mock offended at the red head he had made fast friends with. "What? His defensive spells are better." Fabian defended with a shrug.

"I'll take the other one then." Gideon smiled, and although a few Order members giggled Moody found no entertainment in it.

"If you won't be taking your duties seriously none of you will be going anywhere." He grumbled for both the Prewetts' and the Marauders' sakes. The marauders were doing their hardest not to look at Sirius who couldn't decide if the word "duty" or "seriously" was funnier.

Moody slammed a palm down on the table to silence their barely held in laughter. "Edgar will be taking James with him while-" Moody looked around the table. "Dedalus'll take Sirius, I'll be taking Remus and who else isn't on a watch shift for next month yet?" Peter looked at Remus who looked as if he had just sucked a lemon his face was so strained with annoyance. The room was momentarily silent until someone poked a snoring figure at the next table over.

"What?" Mundungus snapped, twitching back to life. Moody glared with both eyes. The person who had poked him awake asked him if he was on the watch duty calendar. He shook his head in Moody's direction.

"Good, very well take Peter, but only during hours when I'm certain nothing will happen." Moody sighed, apparently not thinking highly of the arrangement.

He groaned inwardly not wanting James and Sirius to know he was more interested in making it at work than he was at doing Order jobs that he would never be good at. He looked across the room to Mundungus, the man was leering at him, his long hair was slicked back and he was wearing a suit that looked as if it could be slightly better taken care of. Peter was not looking forward to working a shift with him.

* * *

 _A/N Short chapter sorry :(_

 _but Moody's back! (and this makes me happy)_


	11. Chapter 11: Bones and Booze

**Chapter 11: Bones and Booze**

Nights of training tapered off into days of work, or rather being trained while working. Some days they felt as if they weren't learning a thing hiding behind dumpsters next to windows, but other days they learned more in one night than they had in two months. Sirius was especially pleased with the night he and an older member snuck into secret ministry archives for files. Barely slipping past aurors on the way out he felt like he had won the war single handedly. He had been instrumental in laying out the plan and when it worked he had been given a few impressed nods from the higher ups. Not wanting to be outdone James made his comeback two days later with an eavesdropped conversation off Knockturn Alley that eventually sent a low-level death eater to Azkaban. Despite this the Order's newest members continued to be babysat. Rarely were any of them allowed to work together, and never without a supervisor.

By mid-July they were all positively antsy, and willing to do anything to prove their loyalty and helpfulness. They faithfully attended every meeting while James and usually Sirius volunteered for anything Moody would let them do.

As the sun set on a warm day in Late July another meeting ended, this one at the home Dedalus Diggle. It was a straightforward meeting with few surprises. Sirius slipped around Sturgis Podmore who was trying his best to hold up a conversation with him and Peter about the effectiveness of certain herbal remedies over others. Peter was nodding along, but Sirius had been bored out of his mind two minutes in. James and Lily were talking quietly at the door and he headed straight for them. James smiled in his dumb infatuated way and leaned over to kiss the top of Lily's head before he reached them. "What's the plan for tomorrow?" Sirius asked casually. They had the day off and he was definitely up for something fun.

James looked sheepish for a moment. "Actually Lily and I are heading over to the Bones'" Sirius made a face. Married people were stealing his friends. "You can come." James added. Sirius wondered what Remus was up to.

"They've got a bunch of the files and books we need and we're just going to pour through them, Edgar and Melinda both have the day off so we're going until it's done." Lily added.

Sirius laughed looking at James making a face out of sight of Lily. "Oh research sounds fun, make sure you give James the most boring bits then." And Sirius stepped away before he could be roped in and began a serious search for Remus.

He caught sight of the fourth marauder in the far corner deep in a discussion with Benjy Fenwick about something Sirius assumed would be as equally boring as herbal remedies. He grumbled inwardly and turned to his last desperate bid for a fun night, but the two red-heads, Emmeline Vance squished between, them were walking out the door. He tried to rush toward them, hoping they were off to somewhere fun but was stopped by what felt like a boulder. When he stumbled back from the offending object and found that it had merely been the shoulder of Alastor Moody. He groaned, expecting to be assigned extra training hours, but the auror's face looked much darker than that. He grabbed Sirius by the collar and walked him into a guest bedroom. It smelled of dust and was covered rather tactlessly in flower patterned wallpaper that clashed with the differently flower patterned blankets. Sirius squinted around before letting his attention float back to the auror standing sentinel by the tightly closed door.

"Wotcher?" Sirius tried, and Moody's general frown turned into a glower. "Fine. What can I do for you sir?" He asked instead, and seated himself on the edge of the bed.

"Have you been to the Lestrange home?" Moody questioned as a greeting.

"Not willingly, no." Sirius said. He had in fact been there a few times in his youth. "Dismal place." He added hoping Moody would stop glaring so ferociously.

There was a light knock on the door and Moody's magical eye flipped around before he yelled, "enter". Hestia Jones slipped into the room and placed her hands on her hips, sizing him up. The older woman looked a little out of breath. She hadn't been at the meeting, and Sirius assumed she had just rushed off a mission. There must be a good reason they had set him down to talk.

"You ask him yet?" Sirius's ears perked up in curiosity. Surely the important message wasn't about his deranged cousin.

"About the Lestranges? I barely know half of their security measures if that's what you want to know." Sirius interjected.

"Not that." Hestia breathed out, waving a distracted hand at him. She was a short woman with knotted black hair and a round face that often looked tense with thought. "We need a spy on the other side, and as you, well, you're a Black so we wanted you-" Sirius shot to his feet before Hestia could finish the thought.

"No!"

"Sit down Black, you'll hear us out." Moody growled, but Sirius didn't sit. Instead he stepped close to the pair.

"I will not spy for you. I will do anything you ask, but I will not snuggle up with my demonic hell-spawned cousins, parents, uncles and aunts, what-have-you for little bit of information."

Hestia and Moody both looked a bit testy as they tried to stare him down.

"Sirius, this war isn't a game, we wouldn't ask if you couldn't do something meaningful-" Hestia tried through gritted teeth.

"This is something unique you have to offer Sirius. We need your help." Moody cut in.

"I don't care what I have that's 'unique', I have enough _whatever_ without stooping to the level of groveling to my parents to take me back into their dammed cult." He yelled pinning them with stares. "Find someone else." Sirius fought off two pairs of hands as he bolted out the bedroom door, out the front door and down the short garden path.

He felt as if angry steam should be blowing out his ears, something should be physically manifesting itself for how appalled he was at the Order's request. No. There wasn't a way they could get him to do this, not while there was breath in his lungs. He stormed down the street a short way before apparating to James's apartment, breaking into the liquor cabinet and hoping his friend would return from wherever he and Lily had wandered together.

After a half an hour in a quiet apartment silently fuming to himself Sirius apparated outside Lily and Remus's apartment and stormed in expecting the pair to be sitting on the couch in some degree of snogging. He couldn't care less. Instead he found Remus sitting there quietly leafing through a thick crinkly tome.

"Moony." Sirius grumbled as a greeting. A small smile lifted the corner of Remus's mouth.

"What happened?" He asked expecting a dramatic story of romantic rejection or another snub for Order work. Sirius's face turned dower.

"Fuckers asked me to be a double agent with my family." Sirius spat. He wandered over to the couch and plopped down next to Remus. He took a large swig from the bottle in his hand and shot Remus an enraged stare. "I'm not doing it."

"Clearly." Remus agreed looking back at the book. Sirius glanced down at it noticing for the first time its familiarity.

"Really!" He scoffed irritably. Remus sighed and shut the copy of _A look at Werewolf habits_. He set it aside and Sirius slouched further into the couch, but didn't mention the book again.

"What are you doing here?" He mumbled instead.

"I live here Sirius." He reminded as if to a child. Sirius gave him a withered look. "James and Lily are on a date somewhere if that's what you wanted to know. Peter's busy tonight, so I'm here alone reading." Remus shrugged. Sirius grumbled into his bottle but Remus couldn't make out the words.

"It's not the worst thing in the world." Remus tried slowly. Sirius looked at him as if he weren't following. "Spying" Remus clarified in his calming voice. Sirius's eyebrows knitted together making and angry crinkled v over his nose. He looked ready to spit. Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to decide how to clarify his stance to his irate friend.

"Spit it out already." Sirius said reading his friend's features, knowing he wouldn't talk if he wasn't pressed.

"It's not the worst thing, being asked to spy…I might be asked to do the same." Remus rattled off motioning to the book on his right. "You and I have connections that aren't easily fabricated, and it's not out of the question for them to ask."

As he spoke Sirius's glare grew deeper. He thought about storming out of the room again. He could go to Peter's, despite being busy he would give him sympathy, or at least let him drink in peace. He got up, but Remus grabbed the back of his cloak and yanked him onto the couch with more power than Sirius remembered him having. Sirius glanced at the drink in his hand, wondering if he was already heading toward too drunk.

He growled in a way that reminded Remus quite fondly of Padfoot, and Remus continued, "It doesn't mean you have to like it or even accept their request Padfoot. Just know where they're coming from."

"I don't want to do despicable things to prove myself. It'll be the first thing they ask of me if I go back to them! Kill, maim…kill. It's all they think about." He fumed kicking out at the coffee table and rattling a candle onto the floor.

Remus didn't say anything. He held tightly onto Sirius's cloak preventing him from standing, but didn't speak.

"I don't want to do it." Sirius finally said quietly and Remus nodded. Sirius glanced over his shoulder to his friend and they shared a sympathetic look, eyes weary and knowing in a way what was to come and how they would each respond.

* * *

James didn't come home that night, and Sirius woke before the sun on his friend's couch as James and Lily apparated to the leaky Cauldron to meet Edgar.

From there they apparated to a small town and began a half-hour walk to his home. "We haven't gotten you clearance to apparate any closer yet." Edgar explained as a way of apology. Lily honestly didn't mind as the walk was nice and Edgar and James kept the conversation going with chatter about the quidditch world cup and Minister of Magic's Harold Minchum's recent comments about closing Hogwarts.

Edgar had to point out the house to them as they got closer. The number of charms and spells blocking it made it not only difficult to find, but also to see. Waves of invisibility rippled over the two-story country home and they could only catch glimpses of it until they were much closer.

Once they stepped up onto something sturdy they were able to see what they were surrounded by. There were browning garden patches, a lopsided apple tree and a mess of toys and tools. As Lily looked down at their feet she was shocked to see that it looked like she was hovering above the brown grass struggling to live beneath the stoop. There were more spells on this house than she even knew existed. Edgar stumbled with a few spells and then with a set of jingling keys before they could step safely over the threshold.

Melinda was already in the main entryway smiling and ushering them in. The house smelled of warm bread and earth. "Try not to mind the mess. We can't keep up with it." Melinda said smiling as she led them down a short cluttered hallway then into a kitchen where books and files were spread on every surface than wasn't slathered with jam, small cups and plates.

A young boy with brown hair down to his shoulders and a broom in one hand ran by them into the kitchen, pulled a glass out of out of a cabinet then ran out of the room screaming that he had "got a cup". They could hear crying from a back room. Edgar passed behind them and followed the boy into the back room.

"No brooms in the house, go out back if you're playing quidditch." He called. Melinda continued to smile at them and waved toward the table with an invite. "Here's our work." She said. She looked ready to begin an explanation when Lily cut in.

"Was that Adrick?"

Melinda smiled delightedly. "That was Adrick!"

"Future beater I swear." Edgar said walking back into the kitchen holding a clearly broken tricycle under his arms. "Did you see-?" He asked Melinda, pointing to his lip.

"Oh Allison's lip, yes, bat to the face but she had it coming she chucked Feste at him."

"The owl?"

"Scared the bejeezus out of the poor thing, he's curled up in our room."

"Wonderful. So have we begun our serious work yet?" He asked with a bright smile setting the toy down and rubbing his palms together excitedly. Lily and James were letting their heads pop back and forth between the two as they talked of injured children and owl tossing as if it were any normal morning.

Lily pulled herself together first, having grown up with a sibling. "I think we should get going if we're going to get through it. Where should we start?" She asked.

Edgar waved the question away. "Wherever you want it's going to be a mess of a job anyway." He walked to the table and picked up the first file he could find. It was thick and tied together with a leather string. Pages stuck out in every direction between two layers of thick parchment. "Delightful." And he sat himself down at the table. James followed suit slipping into a chair and tentatively opening up the nearest book.

"I'm gonna try to get a system going." Lily cut in, eyeing the room. "I think I'll start with the files. Make a list of the dark objects, then we can research them in the books. Set up a table of sorts." She said slipping into a chair next to James and handing him a file over top of his opened book. He nodded and did as she asked. Melinda snuck off to check on the kids one more time then returned to the kitchen and picked up her own file.

James's eyes were drooping when they stopped for lunch. He wasn't sure how many more dark object descriptions he could write into tables. There were cabinets and portraits and rings and necklaces and torches. He didn't know when it would end. He would rather be at Sirius's practicing spells, but Lily would occasionally hold his hand under the table and he would remember how little time they had spent together lately, and would reconsider leaving.

The children joined them for food. The boy they had seen earlier, a girl younger than him by maybe a few years and a toddling, bewildered looking kid, who followed them around. Over sandwiches and overcooked carrots Adrick told him about his quidditch aspirations and Allison excitedly showed them her cut lip. "but I still has all my teeth see?" She said opening her mouth so they could see her half chewed sandwich and a neat row of bottom teeth, unaffected by the bat.

"You know I was a quidditch captain." James said conspiratorially to the two older children.

"Cool." They whispered reverentially.

"You should teach Adrick how to use a bat, cause he's bad at it." Allison instructed James.

"I think I could do that real quick after lunch." James reassured them with a wink. He got stereo cheers and glanced around the table to make sure his offer was okay. No one seemed at all bothered by it. After James finished his last bite and the children had all grudgingly eaten their carrots they pulled him into the backyard.

The kitchen was surprisingly quiet after James left and with the children distracted they were all able to leaf through their separate stacks of papers in record time.

By mid afternoon Lily could feel her eyes drooping, though she wanted badly to continue working. She had been out of school for barely a month and already she was out of practice of pulling 18-hour days of schoolwork and prefect duties. She yawned and stretched, but didn't feel rejuvenated enough. Both Melinda and Edgar were still scribbling away in their increasingly long ledgers. Lily slowly pushed back her chair from the table saying she wanted to make sure James hadn't set a fire in the backyard or anything equally dramatic, and got up.

She slipped into the hallway careful not to trip or step on pointy edged toys and games. She stopped at the door to the backyard and peered out. The picture through the window in the door flickered and waved with protection spells as if she were looking at it over blacktop in the hot summer air.

Through the distortion she could still see James. He was kneeling down on the ground before Allison showing her something intricate about ball handling as Adrick swooped low overhead. James and Allison ducked in unison and James bounced onto the broom he was using to chase off after him. Lily laughed to herself and slowly leaned into the window, pressing her head against the sun-warmed glass. It was the perfect picture; James surrounded by kids, teaching them quidditch, rushing around, full of life, full of joy.

She stood that way for several seconds until she felt ready to return to the kitchen, but when she pulled away she caught motion out of the corner of her eye. Somehow Edgar had snuck up by her side and was glancing out the window to where James was now holding the tail of a broom inches off the ground as the small toddling child tried to ride in circles

"I was just coming back." Lily said glancing down the messy hall and plotting her course, but Edgar didn't chide her and instead snuck closer to the door to watch. Lily didn't want to leave the sight. In a way she felt it was the closest she would ever get to seeing James with a family.

"What's on your mind?" Edgar asked.

Lily blinked in surprise, but quickly tried to cover it, "I was just worried James would be teaching them horrible things." She lied, not wanting Edgar to know she was almost jealous of him. Edgar let a small smile grace his lips. It made him look older and wiser as wrinkles appeared around the edges of his eyes.

They didn't speak for several moments and Lily was turning back to the kitchen when Edgar spoke up again. His voice was slow and steady, speaking out of the silence, "Life keeps going you know. He pointed to his son who was chasing circles in the air holding tight to a quaffle. "Adric is eleven this year. He was so young when this whole situation began. He was a baby when the whispers started. Allison-" He pointed now to the girl with long brown hair chasing her brother.

"Do you remember the Roseside Riots?" He glanced at her under thick greying eyebrows, but didn't wait for an answer, "That was one of the first killings. A whole street of witches and wizards fought back, rioted on the street the whole week. Melinda was eight months pregnant with Allison and we were living in an apartment two stories up from it. Floo was down, no apparating, Knight Bus wouldn't touch us. That was before the fear had settled in, and the people had become accustomed to murder." He said, a bitter taste in his mouth.

Lily swallowed, not knowing what to say.

"But life goes on." He smiled sadly pointing now to his youngest child but not speaking anymore.

Lily could feel her embarrassment melting into trust. "James just sees the war." She finally admitted, her voice as quiet as Edgar's. "He sees it like he sees tests or a quidditch match, but I don't think he see's beyond it." She stopped abruptly not wanting to start crying over something so silly. Edgar leaned against the door, his gaze still half out the window, half somewhere far away.

"I don't know how to raise a kid in this fear. How to teach them to live in it" He said. He lifted a finger and scratched at a bit of paint that was stuck to the glass on the window. "I don't know how you did it." He added quickly looking over to Lily. "This war has been going on for what? Over half your life, and you just keep moving forward. It's amazing." He finished with an encouraging smile. "James might not know it, but life goes on."

Lily couldn't explain how she kept going; kept looking ahead. It was just the way of the world to her. She stepped closer to the window again and this time as James flew by, the youngest child held tight in front of him, he caught sight of her and gave a small wave with the hand holding the broomstick. She gave a small wave back. "You don't think it's ridiculous that I want to marry him?" Lily asked scrunching her face and fighting with herself about whether to look in Edgar's direction or not, fearing he would scold her. His face, however, broke into a wide grin.

"I think that's the most beautiful thing in the world." He beamed with a voice louder than he had spoken with yet. Lily returned the smile and Edgar gave one of his somehow muffled sounding laughs. "I think the world needs more love, more heart. We can have all the fighters in the world staring at this war as something to do. Melinda certainly does, but we would be nowhere without people with heart, reminding us why we're fighting, and giving everyone something to live for when it's done." He placed a warm calloused hand onto Lily's shoulder and she pressed her cheek into it for a moment.

"I think you do a good job of that." She told him. He gave her shoulder a short squeeze and they watched the scene outside for a few more moments until Lily felt ready to return to the kitchen, and the work therein.

James didn't come back into the house until around four, one kid on his left leg another over his shoulder and the smallest held up by its shirt. "I think it might be snack time, and nap time." He said holding the youngest child out for Melinda. She looked as if she had just gotten over a crying fit. James and the other two were covered head to toe in grass stains and mud. "Very well. What would you like for snack." Melinda said snuggling the little girl in her arms before setting her down again.

"Biscuits!" James said throwing his hands into the air. Melinda eyed him, feigning annoyance that he had given her children the idea, but obliged by pulling a tin out of a top cabinet.

"Would you like some tea with these?"

"Yes, please." James said flipping a kid off his shoulders and onto the floor.

"You're good with them." Melinda said handing cookies out to each one of the kids, the youngest merely slobbering over it until it was soft enough to bite through.

"Yeah, sorry I skipped out on research." James apologized and he could hear Lily make a disbelieving noise from the table. He shot her a look and ran a hand through his hair.

The older two children skipped out of the room, uninterested in tea as their mother explained, "Trust me, having someone watch them made work easier. We actually got something done." Melinda motioned to the piles in the room. James couldn't see the difference, but smiled anyway, assuming they _had_ made progress.

Melinda handed cookies and tea to the adults as James wandered nosily around the room. He found a half buried chess set under a plate of dried out meat and something that he hoped was a cat leered back at him from a half opened cabinet.

"These are nice knives." James mused. He had found an open drawer filled to the brim with a random assortment of blades, not all of them looking like they related to kitchen uses. "You just leave them where the kids can get them?" James wondered, reaching out to poke a small red penknife. Melinda hurried over to him.

"Oh hell no, that drawer is magicked shut, you've seen what they can do with non-dangerous objects. Adults only in that drawer. Can't believe I left it open, we were fighting with a book a bit ago." She flustered in explanation.

"Fighting a book?" James wondered, picking up a long silver knife.

"You should take one." Melinda said suddenly. James glanced into the drawer again and Melinda pointed to a small red one. "That one opens any door, melts the lock right off." She smirked at James, "Unties knots, and cuts carrots rather well too." She added. James slowly picked up the red penknife and looked at it closely. It looked small and not all that powerful but he liked the idea of breaking into places.

"That's really cool." James breathed.

"Go ahead and have it. I should probably get rid of all of these anyway before Adrick starts school and learns about _alohamora_." Melinda rolled her eyes and walked back to the table. "Come join us then." She patted the seat next to her.

James pocketed the knife and went to join a bit daunted.

It was almost midnight when they returned to Lily's apartment. "Sure you can make it home in one piece." Lily asked tiredly stretching on her toes to kiss James.

"I think I'll make it." He smiled.

"Don't get caught then." She said and turned to open the door to her apartment.

"Don't forget Peter's party this weekend." James reminded "My place." Lily nodded as he apparated out.

* * *

"I brought girls!" Sirius enthused smiling in James's doorway and holding two six packs in the air triumphantly. And indeed, behind him were three very attractive girls. "Happy 18th Peter. I would like you to meet, Kitty" A curvaceous blond in strappy tight robes stepped into the small apartment, "River" A brunette stepped in. "And Lilith." Sirius said slyly watching as a tall blond joined the raucous party going on in the room. Peter's eyes grew wide at the parade.

"That one's got a girl though." Sirius called to River who had made a beeline for James and was now talking in very close proximity as he tried desperately to back away.

"That's why you were late?" Peter pretended to be frustrated as he shut the door behind his friend.

"Yes, but no worries good sir, I'm not behind in the drinking." Sirius assured as he went to go talk to Kitty. Someone cranked the music up on the gramophone and Lily double-checked the silencing spells.

"So you didn't graduate from Hogwarts?" Sirius yelled over the noise. "You don't look familiar."

"Beauxbatons." The girl replied with a warm toothy smile. "I barely passed so I'm hiding from my mediocre grades in London at my Da's."

"Brilliant idea. I would hide too if I were in your shoes."

"So you're not?" Kitty sounded disappointed.

"Born brilliant unfortunately." Sirius bragged, flashing a charming smile and despite her disappointment Kitty was matching his warmth once more.

"The other's are French as well then?" Sirius nodded to River and Lilith. Kitty bit the inside of her cheek.

"Not French. I have no idea who they are, we just met a month ago." She pursed her lips and shrugged apologetically.

"No worries. Come dance with me then." Sirius said setting his bottle on the kitchen counter and leading Kitty by the hand into the center of the room where a dance floor had been set up in the small living room. As it began only the Longbottom's, a Friend of Peter's from work, and a Hogwarts student they barely knew but who lived in the neighborhood were dancing, but the number slowly rose. The small room gave the illusion of a crowed as a few more ministry friends arrived and Emmeline Vance appeared sporting both of the Prewett's scarves, and complaining about them being on duty as she danced with abandon. The party seemed to be bright with energy.

An hour or so in Peter tried to imitate Sirius's devil-may-care smile and sidled up to the counter where the tallest of the three new girls was nursing a drink.

"So what do you do?" Peter tried to yell over the noise. To his delight the girl took a sip of her drink and smiled back.

"I work in a shop." She said without an accent. Peter looked briefly surprised; weren't these girls foreign?

"You don't look familiar." He noted.

"I work out of town and I didn't get to go to Hogwarts, parents trained me themselves." She explained giving him a mysterious smile that looked to Peter to be an almost predatory leer. There were suddenly butterflies in his stomach overpowering the warm lull of the alcohol. He looked down, but on the way caught sight of her hand wrapped around her glass.

"What happened?" He asked before he could stop himself for the girl was missing two of her fingers. Though they seemed to be scarring up, the wounds looked rather recent, maybe from the last month.

The girl looked down at her hand, suddenly a bit more serious before a joking smile crossed her face. "A friend needed a hand. I came up a bit short though…" She wiggled her remaining fingers and when Peter was sure he hadn't accidentally offended her he was calmed enough that he could lean casually into the counter. Lilith looked out at the dance floor. "I sometimes think it would have been a great way to fake my death, you know?"

"What?" Peter asked a little surprised at the turn of the conversation.

"Sending a finger to someone, say it's all they could find of me, then disappear." She said with a tipsy laugh.

"How do I know you haven't already done that, mystery girl?" Peter replied trying to mimic Sirius's coy flirting style, and fearing he'd flubbed it when she didn't smile. "Whoever you really are, would you like to dance?" He added nervously. The woman looked skeptical for a moment, then set her glass down decidedly on the counter and held out her three fingered hand to him.

The only person at the party who didn't seem to be enjoying himself was Remus who had handed Peter a heavy book-shaped gift early that evening then placed himself on the couch silent and bored.

"Mate, your blood-alcohol level is brining me down." Sirius slurred slipping over the back of the couch and falling into his friend. Remus straightened him out and smirked over the top of a defense theory book. "Hell no." Sirius said removing the book from Remus's hands and replacing it with a bottle of unidentified strong-smelling liquid.

"I'm not drinking tonight Sirius." Remus informed his friend. Sirius gave him a watery smile and tilted the bottle toward his mouth. Remus leaned away protesting until the lip of the bottle reached him mouth and he took an annoyed, coughing swig. Sirius released him and Remus almost swore from the harsh taste. "What is that?"

"Dunno. Does the trick though." Sirius slurred taking another sip. Remus tried to reach around Sirius for his book.

"Not that drunk yet Moony!" Sirius informed him and chucked Remus's quarry to the feet of Frank and Alice who were slow dancing to the rock music still blaring. Remus groaned at the loss and Sirius held the bottle back out to his friend.

"Padfoot if I start I'm not gonna stop." Remus stated solemnly. He briefly looked like he was going to say something more but looked suddenly disappointedly at Sirius who was staring, holding the bottle out, unaware of Remus's moroseness. "I'm not-"

"Having any fun." Sirius finished for him and pressed the bottle into his hand holding it there until Remus's thin fingers wrapped around it. Remus glared down at the amber liquid for a moment, considering his options.

"I have work." He mumbled.

"and Lily makes a wonderful hangover cure." Sirius informed him with a clap on the back.

"I'm not interested in getting drunk." Remus sighed.

"All the more reason to do it." Sirius argued, and without another statement he pulled Remus onto his feet and dragged him toward a group of people near the kitchen. They were giggling as someone finished a joke and Sirius slipped in easily.

"Let us party Moony." Sirius said as the small crowed handed them each shots. Remus accepted his grudgingly. Sirius gave him a waggly-eyebrowed look and the pair put back the shots, Remus not flinching and Sirius yelling wildly into the noisy room.

The party continued but unfortunately the Ministry workers in attendance were tired from the week and Order Members had shifts the next day and too soon the party had calmed.

"Remus is really drunk." Peter said walking back into the living room from the bathroom. "and he gave me a dictionary for my birthday." He was smiling ridiculously from the alcohol and there was still traces of cake in his five o'clock shadow. In his hand was a thick bound wizards dictionary.

"I win!" Sirius cheered from his reclined position on the couch. "Wait. Is he drunker'n you?" he asked.

"Possibly."

"He's just 'cted 'bout your birthday." Sirius smiled warmly.

"Pfff." Peter looked around and set his new book onto a side table. "Sirius why are you here?" He suddenly asked.

"Huh?"

"He means you were practically in Kitty's metaphorical pants, and you're not, now." James clarified.

Sirius winked, "You have a tiny uncomfortable bed. It's no wonder Lily doesn't want to sleep here."

James rolled his eyes, and Sirius frowned finishing his statement, "and therefore she did not seem interested. Also she was not nearly drunk enough to witness the horror that is my apartment." Peter snorted at Sirius's strike out.

"I miss common room parties." Sirius lamented. "Always a crowd, no work needed."

"Just add booze." James agreed pushing Sirius's feet off the couch and flopping onto the emptied space. Sirius quickly replaced his feet on top of James's lap. Meanwhile Peter stumbled into the beat up chair at the end of the coffee table a beer still in his hand. "We'll get better at it. Next year man, block party." James promised Peter, pointing and winking at him. From the bathroom they heard Remus vomit loudly.

"Dude was wasted." Peter reiterated. James squinted, Remus hadn't been drunk enough to puke since fifth-year, the first time they had convinced him to drink something harder than wine or beer.

"He punch anyone this time?" James asked with a half-smile remembering the look on the seventh years face when a fifth year clocked him for merely insinuating something about Lily.

"Don't think so." Sirius slurred.

"He was still conscious though right?" James mumbled trying to keep his eyes open. Peter nodded, his eyes were drooping and he yawned loudly.

"Herehere!" Sirius agreed to Peter's yawn, holding up his empty glass, but then having it almost fall out of his hand. "whoa." Sirius stared surprised at his arm as if it had betrayed him then added, "Ima just sleep here."

If James had been listening he would have barely understood his friend. As it was he was wondering if he should check on Remus. Peter was already slumping into a deep sleep in the chair and certainly wasn't going to do anything. James wanted to join him and Sirius in sleep, considered it, but the responsible bit of him wouldn't allow it. He sighed and got to his feet replacing Sirius's legs on the couch. Sirius snorted like a dog and rolled onto his side drooling into a cushion. James pulled the glass from his friend's hand and the bottle from Peter's and set them on the coffee table next to the dozen or so other empty ones.

He walked back to the bathroom with trepidation. "Moony you alright?" He asked knocking lightly on the half-opened door. There was no reply. The door barely creaked when he opened it the rest of the way and peaked in.

Remus was sitting on the ground next to the toilet leaning heavily against the bathtub. He looked terrible, and James didn't want to know what was on his shirt. He was still alive though, not passed out in his own vomit. James briefly considered leaving him sitting there, Remus was tough, but as he turned to go something stopped him. Lily would do something. Lily, the ultimate good, wouldn't leave any of them-well maybe Sirius- lying on a cold bathroom floor, even though they had all done it one time or another and survived.

James groaned, stepped into the room and walked across the small space. A smell of hard liquor and sick hit his nostrils, and he couldn't help but cringe as he squatted before his friend.

Remus must have noted the movement, unlike his friends in the living room, because he blinked awake, and immediately tried to shield his eyes from the bathroom light. "Wow Moony. That's like a 6 on the Sirius drunkenness scale." James said reaching out and patting Remus on the arm. Remus grunted at the touch then tried to say something with his hands. After a second of trying to make out the drunken waves James batted his hands down. "Shut up." Remus half-glared at him, but couldn't muster the energy and instead slumped down. "You gonna live?" James asked. Remus barely nodded. "Righty-o then. Let's get you cleaned up and to a real bed." James decided.

He pulled the disgusting shirt off his friend, touching as little of it as possible and tried to ignore how skinny his friend looked. He considered hoisting him into the shower but that sounded like work so he didn't bother.

Remus was still just staring at him. "What?" He finally asked. Remus's grey eyes, as unfocussed as they were, were suddenly dragging James's attention, trying to say something his friend couldn't quite articulate yet. Something important was going on in the other's liquored up brain. James wanted to wait, but also wanted to slip out of the room before Remus could finish the thought. Sneak away with the hope that it was just the alcohol, and that Remus would forget the thought by morning.

"I dunno." He finally slurred. James felt relief wash over him; whatever it was he had forgotten it. James began to get to his feet, breathing a sigh of relief, but Remus decided not to let him off the hook.

"You know the-" Remus stopped for a moment. His head lolled over to look at the wall where the sink was set. "I, and then it's just." Remus seemed to stop. His eyes were boring holes of concentration into the white painted cabinets that James detested. James wondered if Remus knew he was still standing there, waiting for him to say something coherent. He was just about to tell Remus to shut up and get to bed when he finally formulated his thought. "What if we don't make it?" He finished solidly and clearly his head swinging suddenly back to stare blearily at James.

"What?"

"Die, James, like what if we die?" It was James's turn to suddenly be too drunk for the conversation, and he was certainly too drunk for Remus's life-or-death crisis. He stared back at his friend, feeling as if the world outside the bathroom were zooming away, and wishing dearly that it would return.

"What if that happens Moony?" James finally decided, using one of Remus's favorite tricks and turning the question back around on him. To James's amusement Remus's drunken expression turned more serious, as if he could find an answer somewhere in his rattled brains. He was looking at this problem as if it were an especially convoluted Arithmancy question and he needed to answer to pass a test.

After several moments and a few stuttered starts to an answer James couldn't stand watching Remus's drunken countenance suffer any longer. He sighed and kicked out at Remus's shin and the other man blinked up at him slowly. "You should be less scared of death than the rest of us, you've stared it down more." James reasoned. Remus considered this answer, but it didn't seem to satisfy him.

"I don't feel afraid." Remus said with certainty looking up at James.

"Then why are you asking me this Moony! I'm drunk, and sleepy." James exhaled, motioning toward the living room where there were soft places to sleep. He ran a hand wearily through his hair as Remus's face twisted into a look of confusion.

"I dunno…" He slurred then so quietly that James had to strain to hear what he was saying, "What if _I_ don't die? …" Remus finished, but suddenly a haze crossed his eyes and his eyelids drooped. Remus began to slip forward into the bathroom floor and James reached down to grab him before he could faceplant into the ground.

"Whoa there, let's stay upright." James said pushing him up and shoving Remus's strange fear to the back of his head. He couldn't think about it right now. Remus focused back on his friend's face, surprised to find him there, and then he fell forward into James's shoulder. "Come on." James said tiredly, maneuvering Remus until his arm was over his shoulder and he could hoist both of them up off the floor. They teetered for moment before regaining their balance. "Let's do this." He mumbled. Remus was worryingly light as James half carried him back into the living room.

James concentrated on turning the last remaining chair to a bed but couldn't muster it. Instead he pulled a cushion out from under Sirius who kicked him in the process and set Remus on the floor. He found the strongest anti-hangover potion Lily had left them before she went to sleep at the Bones' a few hours ago, and left it next to him. James wandered off to his bedroom to sleep.

The walls in his bedroom were grey in the darkness, and his bed, though covered in Gryffindor colors, felt different than his four-poster at school. He couldn't sleep here, not when everyone else was passed out in a drunken stupor in the living room. He sighed, the realization dawning on him, and pulled out his wand. With a bought of concentration he levitated his mattress out of his room and onto the living room floor. There, Peter was snoring, Sirius was kicking and Remus was mumbling in his sleep. The comforting sounds let him drift off into a sound slumber.

* * *

 _A/N This chapter could probably use more editing, but I'm headed on vacation tomorrow so it's now or next week-ish. Hope you enjoy._

 _As far as Edgar's story about Allison goes I have to give credit to one of my host families in Germany. I lived in Leipzig for a month (years ago) and my host parents were telling me that their oldest daughter was born days after some peaceful marches in Leipzig became huge and impactful (lots of people - It was maybe a month before the wall fell? My brain is old and foggy!) and there were fears that if one thing went wrong there would be violence. That has stuck with me and now appears here._


	12. Chapter 12: What's Hiding

**Chapter 12: What's Hiding**

Remus and surprisingly Peter were out of the house by the time Sirius and James woke the next morning. The pair had cleaned most of the house without waking either Sirius or James but had left them in charge of taking the large piles of trash to the dumpster.

James and Sirius scavenged for hangover potions and slowly walked out the garbage, suspecting they had been left with the easier job. As their feet slapped heavily onto each stair on the walk back to James's apartment Sirius was brought into further consciousness by his grumbling stomach. Instead of fighting with a stove they decided to eat what was now a nice lunch at the Leaky Cauldron before slipping off into Diagon Alley. The weekend had brought out shoppers, but it wasn't overwhelmingly busy and James and Sirius suspected their destination would be quieter still.

The bookshop where Remus worked was at the far end of the street in a quieter section. It was smaller and received less traffic than Flourish and Blott's but sold a significantly stranger, and James thought more helpful, variety of books. A bell above the door jingled as they walked in. Air from a cooling spell hit their faces relieving them from the scorching August heat.

Remus was sitting on a stool behind the counter to the left. He was looking over old used books from one stack and setting them in piles on the far side of the counter.

"Hello, sir. We happen to be in the market for any nifty little book containing defensive spells, have you seen such a thing?" Sirius asked leaning on the counter and pretending to twirl a luxurious mustache. Remus's eyes wandered over to him but he looked less amused than usual.

"Yeah." He said flatly, "Something came in this morning. I set it aside." And with a yawn he stood up and stepped into the back. Sirius looked over his shoulder to James and they shared a bewildered eyebrow raise. James mimed chugging back drinks and Sirius shook his head in disappointment.

"Boy can't hold his liquor." He mumbled as Remus retuned with a thin paperback.

"Doesn't look like much, but I skimmed it and I have never even heard of some of these theories." He handed it over to Sirius half opened with his finger on an intricate unleveling theory.

Sirius skimmed the page, pleased with what Remus had come across. He thought about leaving Remus alone but at the last minute he decided to pick up his shtick again, "Ah, this will be most marvelous. Exactly what we were looking for old boy. Stunning!" Sirius tried in his most pompous voice, but Remus still didn't react to his act. Instead he clicked open the cash register and waited for one of them to pull out their coin bags. Sirius stared at Remus as James pulled a heavy clinking pouch out of an inside pocket of his robe.

"Three galleons, two sickles." Remus said staring at the till. James tossed some coins on the counter. Perfect change. Remus yawned again and swiped the coins off the counter and into his hands. He deposited them into the till and stared up again. He looked at the others and a thought flickered past his eyes with a sigh. Sirius considered leaving when Remus finally said, "I had a thought about Mulciber."

Sirius was surprised since he didn't expect Remus was having thoughts about much of anything, but if what James told him about the night before was true, his friend could have important thoughts in unconventional states of mind. "Really?" Sirius decided to ask.

"Yeah. The. . . When we were in the shack last week, something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it."

"Wouldn't blame you for that." James said with a smirk. Remus had been particularly off, this being the first time they had survived a full moon without the safety net of parents or Madam Pomfrey.

Remus flicked his eyes briefly at James before continuing, "Right well, I just barely remembered there were tracks there- besides ours- smells that weren't ours." Remus looked to Sirius for confirmation. Sirius thought about it for a second.

"It always smells like that. I thought it was just the smell of the house." He added searching his brain for where Remus was going with this. His mind clicked to different ideas until it landed. "I doesn't make sense, they've been graduated as long as we have, it's summer…"

"the smells would have faded." Remus finished his thought.

"Why would they go back if they didn't have-" Sirius started.

"Death eater work in the shack." Remus ended solomly.

James was giving them odd looks as the other two's ideas bounced off each other. He had no way to corroborate their information so he had to trust their senses. Eventually he nodded, determined, "So you think Mulciber and the gang are still hanging around for some reason? Brilliant. Padfoot 'n I will go check it out now." James decided.

Remus nodded but didn't say anything else, his attention seemed to already be back on the books he had been sorting when they came in. Sirius stared at Remus for a few more moments, until James tapped him on the arm, excited about possibly finding something out that the Order could use.

"Catch you later." Sirius said stepping toward the door. Remus raised a hand in farewell, but didn't say a thing. The door jingled again as James poked Sirius through it.

As it shut behind them and the outside air reminded them of the burning afternoon heat Sirius turned to James, "He that zonked yesterday?"

"After that party? Yes, he's probably just hung over." James said, but he was already somewhere else. "So should we head to Hogsmeade?"

"No we should get ice cream and then go to Hogsmeade." Sirius said smiling and heading straight for the ice cream shop, thinking joyfully about chocolate sauce.

James was briefly annoyed that he would have to wait for proof that Mulciber was up to something, but Sirius had a point about cold ice cream. "To ice cream!" James cheered.

* * *

A half hour later, licking melting ice cream off the edges of cones, Sirius and James apparated over to Hogsmeade and made a beeline for the Shrieking Shack.

"Sweet Merlin I hate this place." Sirius said after fighting through six of Dumbledore's well-placed charms. He worked the kitchen window out, frame and all, and they climbed through into the derelict kitchen. "Where should we start our search?"

"You said you could smell them?" James asked. Sirius held a finger up noting James's good point. A second later Padfoot was at James feet sniffing around. James sighed after the large dog and headed to the nearest cabinets expecting a long search. Most of the lower ones had already had doors busted through, chewed on, and ripped apart but the top cabinets were mostly shut. None of them were magicked shut and none contained anything dangerous. He tried a few revealing charms in various areas of the room. He sifted through the chewed up pile of tablecloths in the corner, but there was nothing amid the dust and dirt of the years of neglect and abuse. He followed the edge of the room working through searching spells but nothing obvious turned up.

Sirius suddenly barked from somewhere above him. James dashed into the living room and up the creaking stairs. At the topmost landing he caught sight of Padfoot at the end of a short hall barking and turning in circles excitedly. James walked to him then stared at his friend until he turned back into Sirius.

"Sorry- dumb dog moment. I think there's an attic entrance here." Sirius admitted brushing his shining hair back into place.

"No way. We've looked a dozen time for one, never found one." James said, but Sirius simply pointed to the ceiling above his head.

"Smells like Slytherins."

James hmmed in thought and walked up next to his friend. "It's possible we missed a spot."

"What charm did we use? I mean we were like fourth years or something last time we checked."

"Revelio, probably."

"Got anything better now?"

James nodded and lifted his wand to the ceiling. He tried three spells each from a different theory and language background, but no door became obvious.

"Definitely password protected." Sirius commented. James nodded, and then as a pair they blasted a hole into the ceiling wide enough for their shoulders to fit through. "Effective." Sirius smiled deviously. James interlaced his hands and held them out for Sirius who scrambled up through the hole. He grumbled and cursed as he pulled himself up his clothes catching on splinters and loose nails. He let out one last curse when he realized a few more spells protected the space and he was forced to stay so low to the ground that he was lying flat on his stomach.

"Can you see anything?" James asked from below.

"I think something shot me in the ass." Sirius replied scooting so he could look down through the hole.

"Was it poisonous?" James asked.

There was a moment of sliding and crunching noises and a muffled, "no."

"Give me a lift then." James commanded and Sirius reached through the hole to pull him up.

Once they were both settled onto the floor and slightly cursed from deflector defenses they lit the tips of their wands and looked around. Boards were set up across the ceiling beams allowing cauldrons and tools to sit neatly. Sirius army-crawled over to one, but when tipped noisily over it proved to be empty and scrubbed clean. Bags that should have held ingredients were equally empty.

Sirius grumbled in annoyance. "Something was here."

"Something, but what?" James wondered out loud.

"We need to tell the Order. Whatever they were making here was secret." Sirius grabbed as many of the small empty bags he could get his hands on. "Lily or Moony may be able to identify what was in these." He opened one of the smaller velvet bags and sniffed. It didn't smell like any ingredient in particular.

"Then grab the cauldrons too. There might be remnants in it." James said nodding to the smaller pewter one. Sirius passed it back to James and once they had gathered everything they wanted they slipped back through the hole they had created. "Let's cover this place back up and take this stuff back to Lily and Rems'." James suggested.

They left the old shack, putting the safety spells they had taken down back up and walking far enough away from the building to apparate back to the alleyway near Remus's. They were too excited about their find to mind the looks and occasional comments from muggles and before they knew it they were at the flat.

Once safely inside they lit enough lights to look more closely at their finds, but they gleaned little more from the information in daylight than they had in the dark attic.

"I guess we'll wait for Moony or Lily to get back?"

"Yep." James agreed grudgingly.

Moony returned at three that afternoon looking no better or cheerier than he had at the bookstore. Sirius and James had invited Peter over and they were all playing a burn mark game they had invented to help them practice their aim. Ten points for a head shot, eight for a hand shot, five for arms, three for legs, and two points for a torso shot. All three of their clothes were smoking with small burn holes when Remus stepped into his apartment.

"Moony!" Sirius greeted brightly. Peter took the chance to shoot a spell at his wrist. Sirius cursed and dropped his wand. Remus stood at the door cringing at the smell of burnt clothes and singed flesh.

"Eight points!" James declared. Sirius stuck his tongue out and bent to pick up his wand. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Remus walking to the kitchen.

Once there he turned on the kettle distractedly. Out of one of the top shelves he pulled out a large bar of chocolate opened it and held it in his mouth as he prepared a cup of tea. The others called a temporary time-out in their game and followed Remus into the kitchen.

"We found some potions ingredients in the shack." Sirius enthused. Remus made a noise of recognition, but didn't take the chocolate out of his mouth to add to the conversation. "We were hoping you or Lily might know a way to identify the ingredients. The bags they were in were all empty, as were the cauldrons." Remus took the chocolate out of his mouth and dropped the bar on the counter.

"Think someone's going to miss their stuff?" He intoned.

He poured his tea, put the bar of chocolate back in his mouth, picked up his mug and walked past them and back into the living room.

"We thought, you know, we could figure something out?" Sirius defended himself. "-and the place looked empty and unused."

"Uh-huh." Remus replied through a mouth full of chocolate. He sat numbly onto the couch and picked up the nearest book. He let it fall open on his lap and stared at the page it had opened to. Sirius and James shared a look of disappointment. After Remus's idea that morning they were hoping for a bit more enthusiasm at their find. Before Sirius could say something Remus agreed, "I'll check them out later."

"Okay." James said, not sure where else to go. Peter was standing beside them eyeing them expectantly, but James didn't think he could do much for the situation, and he wasn't sure how to extract traces of potions ingredients from a bag so he was left to rely on others. Peter looked over at Remus; he looked tired and uncertain and he couldn't blame him for that.

Remus shut his book, opened it back up, and shut it again. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, took another bite of chocolate and a sip of tea as the others stood around wondering if they should restart their game. Remus looked like he was about to say something then stood abruptly tossing the book on the table. "I'm going for a walk." He stated looking around without setting his eyes on anything in particular.

"Okay?" Sirius said again, confused now. Peter was giving him a get-on-with-it look but he didn't want to force Remus to do Order scut-work right after he had gotten off shift. He sent Peter a don't-worry-about-it head jerk and began looking for something to occupy his time.

Peter grumbled, pocketed his wand and rushed to the door. "I'll go with you." He said pulling the door open and waiting as Remus slipped over the threshold.

"Dibs on his tea." Sirius said hopping over the back of the couch and picking up the abandoned mug as the door clicked shut. James was still standing staring at it.

"When's Lily getting back?" James asked, but Sirius only shrugged. She was out on Order business, but they weren't given details because they were still "too low on the rung".

"Dunno, but I've got to get going soon, Hestia is waiting to kick my ass at something or other." Sirius said taking only a sip of the tea before standing up again. "I'm actually going to get going." He decided.

"Right." James agreed without really listening.

"See you tonight?"

"Sure."

* * *

Lily ended up returning an hour later and Peter and Remus still hadn't returned. He was sitting on the couch practicing new disarming spells with one of Lily's old teddy bears. The poor thing had lost an arm in an earlier battle, so James didn't feel terrible about this set up. The door opened and he heard Lily as her light footsteps crossed into the room.

"Hi." She said, and James could hear the smile on her face. James quickly stuffed her teddy bear under a cushion and turned around. Lily had slipped her shoes off by the door and was heading straight to the kitchen her socks slipping on the floor. "I bought groceries and I'm going to try and cook again. Melinda gave me a new recipe." She called back.

"Oh, real food." James enthused, his mouth watering. He quickly stumbled into the kitchen and perched himself on the edge of the small card table.

"Real food." She agreed turning around and kissing him on the lips. "Where is everyone?"

"Out." James replied slipping his arms around her waist before she could move to unpack the paper bag on the counter. Lily smiled mischievously and James pecked her on the lips again. "So any owls come for Remus lately?" James asked leaning back and looking around the small kitchen for any sign of an open note or owl treats.

"No." Lily's smile turned suddenly into a frown. "Weird question," she said coyly smiling again and trying to get James's attention back on her but he was defiantly glancing in every other direction. Lily sighed and stepped away from James and out of the wrap of his arms. "Okay, this is officially not a social call. What do you want?"

"What. I'm-"

"-looking everywhere but at me. What are you looking for?"

James sighed, caught. "A note, or something. Remus is up to no good and we need to rat him out."

Lily looked at him disbelieving. "Why didn't you search the place while I was out?" She mumbled turning around and unpacking more groceries.

"I did but I didn't find much and I thought you might know something." He stated.

Lily glared at the ceiling. "Eventually you're going to learn that just asking people instead of sneaking around behind their backs is more effective." She stated, turning and putting her balled up hands onto her hips.

"I will when people start telling me things straight." He said looking at her pointedly, remembering when they had asked her point-blank about the Order and she had skirted the question.

Lily looked almost sheepish but then replied defensively, "Fine, but why do you need to spy on Remus? He's too innocent. He couldn't hide something if he tried." She let her arms drop back to her sides. James gave her a steady stare, waiting until she realized what she had said. Remus was better at hiding things than all of them combined. "Well except that." Lily admitted with a roll of her eyes.

"Anyway he's been acting weird, and dodgy, and do you know anything?" James continued. Lily shrugged. She hadn't noticed much of anything because their schedules had had them out of the house at different times for most of the week.

"Fine. I'm raiding his room, does he have any weird booby traps on it?" James asked springing to his feet and walking right by his suddenly indignant girlfriend. He stopped at Remus's bedroom door, the one room he hadn't checked yet.

"That's why you waited? You thought Remus had a dungbomb strapped to his door and you thought I could disarm it?" She asked, following him.

"He would keep his trunk locked up with weird spells at school to keep people out." James said sizing up the light wooden door. "I think I'm just gonna open it." He decided, with a deep intake of breath, "Maybe." He said reconsidering for a moment. He tapped the door muttering a spell but nothing happened. He nodded to himself and slowly reached out for the silver colored knob. The door's oiled hinges made no sound as it opened into a sparsely furnished bedroom. Nothing reached out to attack him.

"So far so good." he mumbled stepping over the border and anticipating pain, but again, nothing came.

The room was almost bare, and decidedly tidy. There was a single wire-framed bed pushed against the wall to his right, a desk, a chair, a dresser and one spotless window. "I don't see anything." He said scanning the immaculately organized surfaces. He paused for a moment remembering Remus's favorite hiding places. He peaked under the corner of his friend's pillow, trying hard not to disrupt the neatly made bed. The man's desk was covered in Order work in neat piles, but in his scan he didn't find anything that would make his friend as quiet and curt as he was.

James slowly pulled out the top drawer of his dresser but stopped when a floorboard behind him squeaked. Lily spun and tumbled into him holding out her wand. James pulled out his own before they realized it was only Remus standing in the doorway.

"Silent as the grave." James hissed, lowering his wand and breathing out of his shock. "You're like a ghost." He admonished.

Remus eyed them both intently. "What's going on then?" he asked calmly joining them in his room. James suddenly felt like he was back in McGonagall's office, caught with a sizzling smoke bomb in his hand.

James looked everywhere but at his friend. He could hear the springs of the bed squeak as Remus sat down on the edge of his mattress.

He would have to come clean. "I was looking for some reason why you've been acting so weird." He admitted. Remus folded his hands in his lap. He seemed to be examining his thumbs rather intently. "Lily was just an unfortunate bystander." He added, and an almost smile flickered across Remus's face but it was shaded by a sudden, deep sadness.

"It's in the top drawer, password's 'maraud'." Remus said nodding to his desk. He was suddenly looking around his floor his hands betraying his discomfort as he entangled his fingers and rubbed his palms. James looked suspicious but then turned to the small wooden desk. He didn't see a drawer. "Left side." Remus added. James reached out and felt under the lip of the desk. Instead of air he felt the smooth coolness of wood. He tapped it with his wand and whispered "Maraud". A fog seemed to clear and a small drawer became visible. James slowly pulled it out. "Sneaky brat" James thought to himself.

A neatly folded letter sat atop a pile of dark parchment papers. James lifted the letter from its place and flipped it over. "This?" He asked knowing the answer. Remus jerked a nod.

He wasn't sure who he expected it to be from. It was of no unusual shape or color. The seal was unimpressive, he sighed with relief that it wasn't ministry. They hadn't found his friend out. They weren't sending the Werewolf Capture Unit to his place of employment.

The handwriting was eerily familiar, though some of the letters felt wrong. The 'a's bubblier somehow the 'h's more cramped. He pulled it open and looked. The first line gave it away, "My dear son". The handwriting resembled Remus's. James's eyes bounced to the bottom; was it his mother or father? "with love, Dad" had been written at the bottom. Of course. James should have recognized the handwriting straight off.

James's eyes flicked back to the start but he stopped barely a few lines down, "Your mother has passed unexpectedly." James almost let the letter tumbled from his hands as his heart threw itself at his ribcage. Phrases like "Family is coming in", "The funeral is on Sunday", floated past his vision, as he tried to sort out what to do. He checked to see if there was a date on the letter, but it was irrelevant, the funeral was the next day. When did he get this? James continued to pretend to read the letter, buying time. Eventually he dropped it onto the table, ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Before Wormtail's-"

"At work, right before. I didn't want to ruin the party-" Remus croaked.

"Shit."

"Sorry." The apology made James flinch. He was so tired of hearing it. It was never Remus's fault.

"We should go with you." James stated, but he knew Sirius and he were on duty early the next day, they wouldn't be off until their training with Moody that night. "You should be up there with your Dad." James admonished suddenly, giving Remus and intense stare.

"I had work."

"Blow it off." James shot back, a little indignant. Remus looked up at him and James noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the engulfing pain in them.

"I can't afford that right now, I was off last week and-" James bit back a curse and Remus quieted. They were both tired of arguing about it; how he didn't need a job, James would pay, but it always ended in the same place.

"Don't, don't worry about showing up to the funeral." Remus said quietly, folding over and resting his elbows on his knees, "I know you've got Order stuff."

James stared at his friend not sure if he should be worried or hurt, a piece of him wanted to shake Remus by the shoulders. His stomach twisted into a knot. He felt confused, and helpless. He was thankful when Lily stepped around him and slipped the letter off the desk. Her own mother's passing came back to her, but thankfully when her knees buckled she was already at Remus's bedside.

The mattress bounced a bit as she collapsed and she could feel herself slide into Remus's leg as the cheap mattress sucked her to the center. He looked up at her not expecting her to suddenly be so close. She apparently didn't either, because her eyes were apologetic, but she didn't move. Instead she wrapped an arm around his hunched shoulders, and leaned in until her face was buried in his tangled sandy hair. He smelled like the dust and ink of old books.

She engulfed him in a warm hug, but he didn't feel safe, he felt as if the floor had suddenly disappeared from beneath him. His chest restricted as if a thousand bindings were suddenly keeping air from entering his lungs. But Lily didn't let go, and it felt as if her warm grip was tightening around his shoulders. He felt himself sway in her arms until he couldn't stand the tightness anymore.

He broke from her arms and stumbled out of his room and toward the farthest place he could think of. The apartment was a blur, the kitchen stove a mess covered in their poor attempts at cooking, but there was the green kettle, and he watched it as water began to boil, and steam rose from the spout. If there were voices and movement behind him he couldn't hear them, he couldn't tell; the world was the slowly warming kettle and that was enough. That would put the tightening of his chest at bay. He just had to stop and watch it.

It was quiet in that place with the light green kettle, so when Lily's hand reached past him and lifted it from its place to pour the water into his favorite mug he felt the world pull away in shards again. He couldn't let the shards fall- He had work, and the Order, and a life he needed to keep together, for as long as he could. His dad didn't need him to show up in tears tomorrow. He didn't need to show his relatives that he was unstable, unusual in any way.

Lily set a warm navy mug into his hands. He couldn't tell if his fingers were burning as she led him stumbling, not to the kitchen table, but the couch. The heat was nice, the hot pain holding him in place.

Pieces of his brain were starting to settle in and wonder. Where was James? Did his fingers hurt? His knuckles were white wrapped so tightly around the mug.

Lily noticed the tensions and peeled his fingers away from the ceramic. The insides were blistering red and he let out an involuntary hiss realizing what had happened. She cursed, took the cup from him and disappeared back into the kitchen. Without a cup to hold he just held his blistering hands out in front of him. The throbbing a rhythmic pattern he could follow. She came back with a small bottle, poured the aloe infused dittany over his hands. She wrapped a small towel around his mug and placed it smoothly back into his abandoned outstretched fingers. It was welcome; something to hold tight to again.

He didn't know how long he sat on the couch. Lily would refill his mug with warm tea, and he would dutifully drink it. She made something that resembled dinner that he couldn't bring himself to eat. She fell asleep curled into a ball on his side, and he sat there with a mug pressed in prayer between his hands thinking about the stinging blisters, the Order, the book on the table, and not his mother, never his mother. He couldn't deal with the pain of losing her.

* * *

 _A/N What? You didn't think Remus had gotten that drunk at Peter's party just because Sirius gave him a bottle... no, no._

 _Next Chapter needs some editing, but it shouldn't be too long._


	13. Chapter 13: Grieve

**Chapter 13: Grieve**

"A fucking funeral? Tomorrow?" Sirius asked. He cussed loudly again, but this time because of the large wooden splinters James was pulling out of his arm. His and Hestia Jones' one-on-one training had gotten out of hand.

"Yeah, apparently he found out before the party." James said using his wand to pluck another splinter out.

"Damn. So that's what was up with the-?"

"Drunk-fest, and the communicating in mostly three word sentences, and eating only chocolate and tea." …And worrying about everyone around him dying, James added in his head. "I suspect so."

"He wasn't talking or eating?" Sirius asked. James pulled an especially large splinter out of his friend's arm with especially low concern for his feelings. "Ouch! Okay, I didn't notice, sue me, I've been busy."

"I know. Hestia did a number on you." James commented. He pulled the last few splinters out and poured some dittany over the scratches. They began to clear up immediately. James wrapped his arm and shoulder in a thin bandage and sat down next to Sirius on his trashy couch.

"So are we going or are we still on for the Order?" Sirius asked.

"Remus did his, 'do what you want' bit."

"So we're going." Sirius confirmed, but to his surprise James shook his head.

"Lil's said she'd take him, actually."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "So we're going?" He said slower so James wouldn't miss the point, that they were going whether or not Remus wanted them to.

"We could, I guess. Peter said he's going." James shrugged, but his words sounded uncomfortable.

"I'm glad Peter's going. So Lily'll be there too?"

"Yeah." James replied.

As dense as he could be he knew a funeral wouldn't be easy for her. "She gonna be okay?"

"She said she would be." They paused for a moment staring at the far wall. "I have to trust her." James finally decided.

"And Remus?" Sirius asked after a long pause, leaning his head against the back of the couch and looking up at the ceiling.

James followed the motion feeling a bit helpless. Werewolf he could do something about, grieving over deceased mothers was a bit out of his depth. "Lily said she'd get us when they got back." James said examining the ceiling now. It was covered in brown watermarks and there was obvious mold in the corner.

"What are we supposed to do?"

"I dunno. Like give him tea?" James wondered, scrunching up his face. "We could ask him . . . something?" James tried.

"Let's just get him drunk. It'll take his mind off it." Sirius suggested. James sighed, not wanting to deal with a drunk Remus again. He obviously didn't get less morbid with a high blood-alcohol ratio. "Maybe Pete'll know what to do, his Dad's dead isn't he?" Sirius wondered.

"He might have an idea." James agreed.

* * *

James and Sirius talked their respective trainers and babysitters into giving them enough time off to make it to the ceremony that would be taking place at 10 that morning. They arrived just in time to remember they were attending a muggle funeral in their best wizard robes, and sit in the back nervously.

Remus nodded at them when he saw them, though that seemed like the most he could manage. Peter and Lily were seated right behind him and his father as the service went on. Lily would occasionally reach forward to squeeze his shoulder and remind him she was there. Both men sat still and straight as boards while a preacher spoke.

Remus's father cried as he read a eulogy. Remus didn't react as he stared straight ahead.

The service ended and the lid of the casket closed. Remus, his father, and members of Hope's side of the family carried the dark wooden box to a strange looking car outside the church. Sirius and James in their stranger looking outfits tried to watch the proceedings while making themselves scarce, a trick that proved difficult.

Lily managed to peck James on the cheek on her way out of the door, and Sirius whispered to Peter that they had to get back to work. Peter nodded and said he'd tell Remus.

They were released from their Order business at 5 and were told to get food before meeting Moody for training. They headed back to Remus and Lily's to eat from their better-stocked fridge, floo Moody to cancel practice, and wait for the others to return.

Remus, Peter, and Lily got back at 6:55. The clock above the living room table where James and Sirius were sitting around playing cards ticked away the minutes until the others walked through the door. Remus looked small in James's good traveling cloak, his face gaunt and his eyes dark. Peter looked worn, but was nonetheless trying to hold Remus steady with an arm around his shoulder. Lily was calm as she followed them into the room. James saw her as a light on the dim day.

"Hey Moony." Sirius tested, as they both set their cards onto the table and watched him stumble to the center of the room unassisted. He took off James's traveling cloak and set it on the back of the couch. Underneath was a clean, though old, black muggle suit.

"Thanks for the cloak. I'm gonna get changed, we have practice tonight with Moody." Remus said robotically, loosening the tie around his neck.

"We don't need to go. We talked to Moody today, he said we could-" James started.

"He'll expect us there, the war isn't going to stop for funerals." Remus intoned and pulled off his tie.

"Rem-" Sirius started, but his friend had already disappeared into his room to change. There was a group release of breath as they all shared nervous looks.

"He's been like that all day." Lily whispered walking up the table. James pushed his chair back so Lily could sit on his lap, "Just-" She made a flat motion with her hand as she perched herself on James's leg. "-dead."

Peter sat in the chair to their left and rested his head in his hands rubbing his eyes with his palms.

"Thanks for staying with him." James said as he placed a comforting hand on her back.

"No problem. I'm glad you guys didn't have to stay for the whole thing." She shook her head in disbelief.

"His extended family isn't great." James remarked, remembering stories of bigoted relatives.

"His mother's family was fine." Lily corrected. "He just wouldn't talk to anyone or react at all." She frowned. There was a loud clunk from Remus's room and a mild curse. The table got quiet for a moment. "You guys keep an eye on him tonight?" Lily asked. They all nodded.

"Pete can you wait on Moony? Sirius and I are going to go find Moody. He's going to be furious that we keep changing plans. We'll meet at the warehouse." Peter nodded and Lily stood up, letting him leave with Sirius and apparate from the hall.

"John seemed so strange?" Peter stated wearily once they heard the duel popping noises.

"Who?"

Peter nodded back to Remus's room. "Remus's dad."

Lily looked surprised that they were on a first name basis, but answered anyway. "He seemed to be handling things. He seemed inconsolable, but handling it." She returned.

"That's like him. He was always that way with Remus." Peter said offhandedly.

"You mean about-"

"Yeah. Every time it was brought up he had some new plan to change things, to fix him. He always seemed like he was handling it, not, I don't know-" Peter flustered.

"-accepting it?" Lily finished and Peter nodded.

"Remus is like that sometimes too though. Like he can't believe he can't do something about it, but I imagine it is his dad. Remus always seemed angrier about _it_ whenever he came home from breaks. Now they're both just handling this situation as well." Peter admitted. Lily was watching him intently, taking in the new information.

"That sucks."

Peter shrugged again. "His dad had hope I guess. In a way." He smiled, thinking that he had had Hope. "Now he has nothing. His son is in London fighting a war he might not survive and his wife has just died. He can't just handle this."

"Does Remus have hope?" Lily asked, but Peter had no time to answer one way or the other as at that moment Remus came lumbering out of his room, pulling his own dirty, patched traveling cloak over his shoulders.

"Let's get going, or we'll be late." He said to Peter. They both stood up from the table. Peter headed straight for the door but Remus waited a second and walked over to Lily.

"Thanks for coming today." He whispered, and he wavered for a moment, but eventually engulfed her in a strained, but genuine, hug of appreciation. They stayed that way briefly then he turned and hustled Peter out the door.

Just past the welcome mat they apparated to the edge of the safety charms around the warehouse. They walked in to the empty space, nervous about where the others might be. They moved the tables to the side to make space for lessons and as they moved the last table Sirius and James entered showing signs of a great deal of scolding. Alastor Moody arrived bedraggled and glaring at the gathered group half a minute later.

"First you cancel because of a funeral, only for me to find out a you all actually want to be here." He growled walking over to where the boys were standing in solidarity against the expected onslaught. He stopped and looked Remus up in down in a fashion they were all quickly becoming used to.

"You look tired." He stated. They all expected Remus to take immediate offense to this, in the pair's usual reaction to each other, but Remus said nothing just stared blankly at the auror, his arms crossed lazily.

The older man seemed to decide something because he finally huffed, then barked at them to line up on the far side of the room. "Hideaman's first law of stealth." Moody began. "You don't need to be completely hidden, just hidden from your opponent." The lesson started slowly but by the end they were using upper level spells in creative places in order to conceal just enough of themselves to make an attacker not notice them. They didn't have much diversity to work with, which is why Moody explained practicing on their off time would be vital.

He called them back after only forty-five minutes of pitiful practice. "We'll end with dueling again." He said sounding disappointed. Dueling wasn't what he did with the actual auror trainees but they were in a crash course he had explained time and time again, as if disgruntled that he had to cut corners. The marauders gave each other half-glances, worried about what the auror was thinking by ending so early. There were days they were trapped in the warehouse until midnight.

"Remus you've been off your game today." Moody noted and it was true; spells that should have come easily to him were eluding him. He had messed up a simple partial dissolussionment earlier in their training and couldn't get the hang of the arm morphing spell Sirius had gotten on his second try.

Remus took a deep breath. "Sorry." He exhaled genuinely. Moody took a step toward him and waited for the younger man to look him in the eye.

"You're rather agreeable today." He noted sounding less than appreciative of this sudden change in demeanor. Remus couldn't think of a good answer so he merely squinted at the auror. "You go to your mother's funeral today?" Moody went on. The other three looked at the scarred face of the auror, surprised that he would bring it up. "See her buried?" he pressed in his gravelly voice.

Peter pulled his eyes away from Moody long enough to see something flash in Remus's; life that none of them had seen in days. Moody was still staring Remus in the eye, but he suddenly wasn't looking at the Auror. "Was it good? Did you get to offer a eulogy to the woman who raised you? …I remember what she looked like, did you know that?" Moody said a little louder making sure Remus heard, despite his attempt to avoid eye contact. The volume made Remus look up and Peter saw the storm brewing in they grey pools. "Something powerful about that woman. I kept wandering by the room despite myself. You know she held you the whole time you were in St. Mungos, you remember? Every time a healer walked in she had you wrapped-"

"Can we not?" Remus finally lashed out, looking away from Moody and toward the boxes at the end of the warehouse.

"No." The volume of Moody's voice rose again and the marauders jumped. "When your father asked what they should do if you became a werewolf, she gave him the same indignant look I've seen you give me weeks on end. You know what she said?" Remus was visibly shaking with rage now. His wand hand was twitching as he bit his lip, resolutely not looking at the auror. "She said 'what the fuck do you think we're gonna-'"

"Back off." Remus finally yelled in response, stepping defiantly into Moody's space. Peter could see that his grip on his wand tightened threateningly. Remus looked around like a caged animal trying to escape. It was one thing to listen to his family talk all day about his mother, her merits, her life, because he had tuned them out completely. Shut them out. It became a blur, the sound of thick wind.

James was looking at him, and Sirius was looking back and forth. Peter had taken a step toward the auror, as if to protect his friend from the verbal attack but forgetting that, at this moment, he was more terrified of the auror than Remus ever would be.

The auror looked as if he had won something, but didn't back down. "She had that assuredness about her as well." He noted smugly. Remus whipped out his wand screaming the first hex that came to his mind as he did so. Sirius tried to dive in to pull Remus away but he was stopped by James's arms wrapped around his chest. Peter stumbled away into the tables, terrified. The storm in Remus's eyes had exploded into a full-blown hurricane.

Moody, however, defended himself without blinking, then returned fire. Spells ricocheted off the floors and walls, and if James and Sirius weren't so worried about Remus's safety and the look of fury in his eyes that they only saw in the eyes of the wolf on a full moon, they would have been impressed by the deftness of the two men's skills. Except during clean, one-spell demonstrations they had never seen Moody attack, had never seen Remus use the full breadth of his skills, as he was usually up against Peter.

Remus shot a pins-and-needles hex and Moody managed to slip in a tripping hex in his second of concentration. In his step back to regain a good footing Remus stumbled onto his back. From the ground he was still deflecting a barrage of hexes, giving as he got until a disarming charm shot his wand out of his hand. Moody stopped fighting immediately. Remus was breathing hard on the floor, but Moody looked to be in complete control. In the time it took to blink Remus, in lieu of chasing his wand that had scattered toward the stack of boxes on the far wall, had sprung to his feet physically going after their trainer. A block hex sent him stumbling backward a few feet and once more onto the floor.

"Interesting choice." Moody grumbled flatly before Remus could spring up again. "Your wand's by the boxes. Go for the wizard not your wand?" He squinted as if contemplating this tactic. Remus stood up defiantly but quickly folded back over, resting his hands on his knees and breathing hard. He suddenly couldn't get enough air.

Moody pocketed his wand and watched Remus try to catch his breath. It wasn't the physical exertion that had him folded over.

"Lupin!" Remus heard the yell as if from the end of a long tunnel. He was trying hard to block out the sound. "Lupin." It was no good, he couldn't look up at his trainer. Everything was coming up, like sick, like a blackness clawing up through his core, strangling him, and forcing tears out of his eyes. He couldn't hold them back anymore despite squeezing his eyes shut against them.

"Lupin. You are no good to me, or your team if you're not here. There's no shame in grieving. Go grieve your mother and come back when you're ready to participate." Remus shot toward the auror once more to fight, but was stopped again by a barrier. Moody looked him up and down again and huffed.

Through his tears Remus glared at him, stared with an anger that had settled deep in him. His mother had died for no reason, and with no warning.

Moody nodded, and to the gathered group's surprise he headed for the door. "We're done for tonight." He directed, and let the door snap shut behind him. Remus immediately crumbled, still gasping through tears.

"I just shot an auror." He motioned exasperatedly at the door. "He's gonna. He's gonna-"

"Moony, he's not going to send anyone-" James started, but when Remus straightened pressing his hands to his face in panic, James relented. "I'll catch up with him." He said, rushing out the door and leaving Sirius and Peter behind with Remus slowly cursing to the ground, trying to contain himself.

"Fuck!"

Sirius put his hands above his head, unsure about what to do. Peter had moved to stand next to Remus, but he didn't seems to want anyone to touch him, pushing away Peter's many attempts.

* * *

"Moody. . .Auror Moody wait." James called through the dark. He could see the outline of a robe nearing the edge of the anti-apparation spells. The figure turned, followed by a groan.

"What do you want Potter?" The older man asked out of the darkness. James stopped in his tracks, reconsidered his question, but then decided to continue across the damp cold grass to the auror. When he got closer he took a steadying breath.

"Sir, you're not," James searched for words. "Sending anyone after him, you can't-" James felt the hand cuff the side of his head before he saw it, probably an offense against Moody's call for constant vigilance, but he didn't have time to think about it before he drew his wand. Moody didn't move to attack.

"Don't be an idiot Potter." Moody said tiredly, glancing down at the younger man's wand. James slowly put it away as the auror continued in a tone that made James feel like a first-year again. "You and your friends need to go and have a night off, and I don't mean a full-moon night off. I don't mean a night off where you're pouring over books, or sitting by a dumpster either. I mean you go to a pub and drink until you're leaking Firewhisky out your ears. More importantly get that boy talking."

James hadn't a clue what Moody was saying. With Peter's party and the funeral they hadn't been terribly busy. They had taken time off, even more than their fair share, and there were things to do, and people to fight. "Remus wanted to be here tonight, he's not giving up the figh-"

"Remus is the worst of you lot, make sure he gets extra drunk." Moody grumbled pointedly. James stuffed his hands nervously into his pockets. Few people made him shrink away. When he was younger Dumbledore's office had been somewhat intimidating, McGonagall could put the fear of day into you, and now it was Moody. The man was unpredictable, unsteady. "You fancy yourself the leader of your little group, no?" The man asked after several seconds when James still hadn't turned back around to the warehouse.

"No" James replied trying to sound as disbelieving of the suggestion as possible.

"Flyin' tapdacin' Merlin I don't believe- They look at you boy, or at least glance when you 're all making decisions. _You_ have the final say no matter what you think."

James made a face and tried to come up with a good rebuttal. He didn't want to be seen as the leader, they were friends, four friends. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs and none of them could work without the others. They didn't need a leader.

"You're the leader, and you need to start acting like it. When Lupin wants to come to practice half-cocked you tie him to a chair if you have to, make him angry at _you_. He'll forgive _you_. You're a smart kid, you know your friends and you should be the one to send them home, NOT ME. I don't have time for your childish bullshit." Moody bit. His hair was wild, and the lines on his face looked extra sharp in the half-light of night. James almost took a step back but stood his ground instead. "They're your team Potter, go help them." Moody said his voice withering away.

James wanted to argue back, but he was too weary from the day and he knew the auror was right. Remus should be drinking himself under a table or sleeping, anything but fighting with a ministry official. James knew where he actually needed to be right at that moment, and it wasn't arguing with Moody.

"Go!" Moody barked out of the darkness. James nodded and turned, rushing for the door as Moody called after him, "and you can tell Lupin, short of him actually handcuffing an Order member to a tree next to him on a full moon, I won't be calling the werewolf capture squad, dammit."

* * *

When he stepped back into the larger space, he saw Remus still bent over, Peter cross-armed at his side while Sirius still stood where he had left him next to the tables.

"He said to go drinking." James announced letting the door click behind him. He took stock of the room, measure what should be done next. Sirius looked relieved at the idea of drinking, Peter worried and Remus breathed in, stood up straighter and held his arms above his head, trying to catch his breath.

Sirius shot James a look then inquired, "Three broomsticks?" Remus coughed through a few tears and shook his head, "Leaky cauldron?" Sirius tried "or, um, Andrea and I found a great muggle place the other week? We could do that?" Remus sniffed but nodded. James and Sirius shared a look and agreed. "Muggle joint it is. Grab your cloak." Sirius said but Remus didn't move and his face was contorting into a grimace. Peter reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. This time he didn't brush it off.

"I don't get it." He mumbled. Peter didn't say anything. Sirius and James were slowly separating the travelling cloaks by the door. They shared a quick look before James resolved to ask.

"What don't you get?" He took a few steps closer but Remus blinked up at his friend as if surprised that he was still there then spun around to face Peter, tears burning in his eyes again. He pressed his thumbs to them as if this would stop them from overflowing.

"I don't." He was trying to say something, but at the same time a part of him couldn't sort it out. He licked his lips, his anger was rising like a pot boiling over. He uncovered his eyes as he screamed, "It was supposed to be you." He expelled it, as if the words had been burning in his mouth as well as his mind. "It was supposed to be you." He repeated as if he didn't believe he had said it the first time. He wasn't sure how to stop; the feeling of saying this was a release, it was cathartic. There had to be some meaning to his loss, but there wasn't. There had been no rhyme or reason though he had looked everywhere. It only hurt. He pushed the back of his hand against his mouth, wanting the words to stop. He was looking right at Peter now, his eyes apologetic, "It was supposed to be you". He said again.

Peter stood rooted to the spot, shocked. The room was drifting a little around him. Remus was right, it was true, they both knew it was true. Peter's mom had been threatening to die for years, together they had just assumed it would be her funeral, her coffin. Remus would be holding Peter up, he could do that, he could hold others up.

Peter knew that if he walked away now, letting the flicker of anger take over, the damage would be irreparable. Remus would never forgive himself, and Peter would never forget the sting of the words. As he suspected, Remus was backing away. Peter immediately caught his arms, not sure what he was doing. He held him in place and though he really wanted to run to the far wall he gripped Remus as tightly as he could. He fought against Peter for several seconds, knowing he didn't deserve comfort, but the boy held tight until Remus couldn't fight anymore. He fell into Peter as he tried to stop the words "It was supposed to be you. It was supposed to be you" from fighting their way up.

Sirius had already crossed the room by the time James realized what exactly Remus meant. The realization hit him like a boulder. Over the sandy hair Peter's eyes looked owlish with shock, but he held on as Remus sobbed into his t-shirt. James owed him a great deal of respect for that, but he also couldn't watch his friend hurt so much. He slipped up next to Sirius and together they unfastened Remus's fingers from his friend's shirt. Sirius replaced Peter as a post for Remus to hold on to and James pulled Peter to the far wall.

"You okay?" He asked quietly as Peter slumped into the rough red bricks, still staring at Remus. He was now fighting off Sirius and the two boys were arguing quietly about something James couldn't hear. Peter nodded slowly. "He didn't mean it." James said clearly. Peter nodded again without emotion.

"I know." He finally said, "He's pissed." Peter clarified numbly, and as if to accentuate his statement Remus yelled from the other side of the room,

"Who up and fucking dies like that?" James sighed and fell into the wall next to Peter. He watched Sirius stand firmly before his friend as Remus yelled for another minute. Even though he was clearly not yelling at Sirius it was unsettling to watch Remus express such sincere emotion. Everything was directed at the floor, or the ceiling or his hands. Remus would never purposefully hurt or yell at any of them, he was too afraid of losing them to do that, which was why James was so shocked at what he had said to Peter. James realized, however that the pair had an outcast bond that he didn't think he would ever be able to understand. James glanced to his side and was thankful to see that Peter had relaxed slightly. He would survive Remus's words.

"What should we do?" James asked as simply and clearly as possible. Despite the question Peter could hear James taking control and he fell comfortably and happily back into his following role.

"Listen to him scream. He bottles everything." Peter replied matter-or-factly and James nodded, crossing his arms resolutely.

Remus's yelling stopped slowly and he covered his eyes again feeling tears welling there. He was out of breath and embarrassed, James could tell. He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to him. "Sorry, give me second okay." Remus said brushing off his face with the arm of his dirty t-shirt and stumbling backward. James followed him and tried to pull his arm away from his eyes, but Remus fervently shook him off, new tears quietly streaming down his face.

The look on his face was pained like James had never seen in all the bad days, and all the bad moons. Sirius watched James struggle with Remus's arm and then hands for a second before joining in the fight. "I'm fine, I'm fine just, give me- I'm sorry." Remus tried to explain, but his voice was cracking in between every word.

James and Sirius managed to pin his arms down away from his face so he would look at them. "You're fine." James said calmly, staring the boy down. Holding him was the only way they could get to him when he was delirious in the Shack, he hoped it would work now.

"I'm sorry." Remus whispered again but this time his eyes were tracing the room in search of Peter.

"He's fine too, no one's mad, everything's going to be fine." James repeated reaching out for Remus's chin and turning it toward himself. "I promise." Remus gave him the same steady weighted look he had given him at Peter's party and James knew Remus could only follow his optimism so far. Remus slowly sunk to the ground breathing himself back into his usual calm anyway. James and Sirius squatted in front of him. He looked worryingly tired and James wondered when he had last slept, when he had last eaten. James made a mental note to keep an eye on him for several more days before he could even begin to considered him "fine".

They waited until Remus could catch his breath again and Sirius asked, "So is this when I make tea?" Remus made a face.

"I don't think I can drink any more tea." He admitted with a croaky voice. James and Sirius helped pull him to his feet before letting him go completely. He looked a little unsteady but much calmer and somehow more composed than he had been in days. He sniffed and coughed almost angrily then swore into his sleeve and patted his clothes looking for a handkerchief. "Shoot" he remarked, not finding one.

Peter patted James on the arm appreciatively as he passed by on the way to the travelling cloaks. He fished around for the Remus's ridiculous white handkerchief and tossed it over before going on a short search for his lost wand.

"Thanks." Remus said taking his wand. Peter and Remus nodded at each other as the object passed between them, gratefulness and forgiveness being silently spoken.

Remus sighed before his face contorted into nerves once more. James jumped back into worry until Remus's panicked, "Oh Merlin. I shot Moody." He exhaled and bent over to rest his weight on his knees.

Sirius whistled. "It was awesome." He complimented ignoring Remus's reaction.

Remus didn't move for a few moments then stood and noted, "He's going to kill me."

"He said he wouldn't." James reminded.

"In a tricky way, probably. In my sleep with a paralyzer spell to my heart or something. He strikes me as a sneaky killer." Remus contemplated.

"You think he would?" Peter asked, acting worried. Sirius couldn't help but cough out a few laughs at his naïve act but Remus still looked too dazed to catch the joke.

"It was a nice fight." Sirius noted.

"I thought you were going to kill each other right there." James added, impressed.

They stood for another moment as Remus pulled himself together, the weariness of the last few days hitting him like a thousand pound weight.

"Can we maybe skip the pub?" He finally asked.

Sirius groaned as if relenting to some great injustice, "Fine we can skip the pub." but then he winked at his friend and the corner of his mouth slipped into a smile. "Home then?" He asked, and Remus nodded heavily.

Sirius walked back to the table and started tossing cloaks back to people. No one bothered to put theirs on in the summer heat, and instead they made their slow way to the warehouse door. "I'm apparating then." Sirius informed Remus, putting an arm around his shoulder, which Remus didn't try to shrug off this time. He gave Sirius a sour look, but didn't argue as he didn't fancy splinching himself.

Lily was waiting for them to return and repetitively practicing transfigurations on the books on the coffee table to pass the time. When she saw them she was reminded horribly of the first full moon at the apartment. They all looked tired and a mess, and Sirius was steering Remus straight to the couch.

"I'll make tea." She said springing to her feet, but a groan from behind stopped her. Remus's head fell onto the couch back.

"Alcohol!" Sirius called throwing his hands in the air. Lily raised an eyebrow and shot a look at James, making sure alcohol was an okay idea. They shared an eyes-only discussion and decided it couldn't hurt.

She returned shortly after with cups, a half-empty bottle of Firewhisky and a bottle of cheap wine. Sirius poured himself a glass and settled himself on the couch next to Remus. Lily poured drinks into the rest of the glasses and handed them out as they sat. James sat himself on the footstool and gracefully started drinking both his and Remus's Firewhisky while Peter slipped into his favorite chair. Lily perched herself on the coffee table directly in front of Remus and looked at his red-rimmed eyes and somewhat shaking hands. His whole body looked exhausted but his eyes were somehow wide-awake, unable to rest in the turmoil.

"How are you doing?" She asked softly.

Remus blinked at her and mumbled, "I dunno."

Lily looked around at the weary marauders.

Peter leaned forward in his chair, he looked slightly more shaken than the rest of them, and Lily could see something was bothering him, just under the surface. "Hey Remus." Peter picked up his glass, thinking. Remus didn't turn his head to look at his friend, but continued to look up at the ceiling. "You… Do you remember that summer when we went out to brunch in the Leaky Cauldron and your mom, she accidentally ordered half a goblin meal." It was a memory Peter hadn't gotten out of his head all day. It had sat in his brain during the funeral, and as he watched Remus carry the casket holding his mother to its final resting place.

"Ate the whole thing, even after she found out what it was. Said it was important to learn about other cultures." Remus half smiled, but it turned into a pained grimace. Peter flinched and looked away quickly.

"Sorry." Peter apologized but Remus shook his head.

"Defiant as ever too, I bet." Lily added and Sirius and James huffed out laughs knowing she meant her son had inherited the trait.

"Defiant as ever." Remus agreed. After a moment he apologized, "Sorry I didn't say anything. Peter had a party and everything."

"Yeah, you got really drunk at that, remember?" James said with a pinch of fake annoyance.  
"I don't actually remember. Woke up on your floor, no clue how I got there." Remus admitted.

"Your dad didn't send out the official letters until Friday morning anyway. He said it was gonna be a muggle funeral, I didn't know if I should go or not." Peter admitted.

"You knew Friday morning?" James said pinning Peter with a stunned stare.

Peter nodded. "Yeah of course."

"And you didn't tell us!" Sirius argued.

"Thought you knew actually. I was wondering why you were all over him about things." They all got quiet. Remus blinked slowly.

"So what was her favorite color?" Lily tried again, forcing brightness into her voice. Remus rolled his eyes up to the ceiling.

"Favorite food? Favorite band? Favorite weather?-"

"Rainy afternoons in October." Remus cut in with certainty, an appeasing half-smile gracing his lips. Lily leaned in and Remus began to tell them about his mother reading him muggle storybooks when the cold autumn rains came. He eventually wore himself out, the fierceness in his eyes softening with each story until he felt himself truly drift off for the first time in days.

* * *

Remus woke the next morning bleary-eyed and still on the couch. There was a pillow and blankets covering him. Sun was streaming in through their two windows and he absently wondered how late it was. Sirius, who usually slept on the couch, was nowhere to be found and he wondered if he had stolen his bed or if he had already slipped off to do Order work. He licked dry lips. Despite how he felt the night before he was now very thirsty for a cup of tea.

He moved to get off the couch but was stopped by a heavy weight on his feet. He blinked through his morning grogginess and looked down. Something large and black was sprawled out across his legs, warm and snoring. He almost remembered Sirius and James discussing who had to keep an eye on him before falling asleep last night. Sirius must have lost because he was there. Remus didn't mind. He had never said it aloud but Padfoot had been comforting after several moons and he was equally comforting now. Remus tried to slip out from under his friend but the dog wasn't budging.

He groaned and fell back to the couch. He considered falling back asleep instead of fighting the weight of the large dog over his legs but after several minutes his need for tea and maybe breakfast overcame his weariness and with some twisting he pulled free. The dog growled in annoyance at being disrupted and Remus grumbled at it as he moved toward the kitchen and the possibility of tea.

He checked the cupboard, and the special cabinet they kept magicked with an icing spell, but there was little food in the house, and less that he knew how to cook. He groaned and put the kettle on with a wave of his wand.

He heard someone coming out of a bedroom just as the kettle began to boil. Lily stumbled into the kitchen moments later. She was still rubbing her eyes and yawning. Remus mumbled something that Lily interpreted as asking if she wanted tea. She made an equally unintelligible grumble in response and Remus pulled a second mug from the cupboard. Lily moved to the ice cabinet. "Eggs?" She mumbled. Remus made an affirmative sounding noise so she pulled a couple of eggs from the cabinet and set a skillet on the stove to heat up. Together they pulled off slightly burnt toast, undercooked eggs, chocolate, and perfectly made tea for breakfast.

"You look better." Lily noted after they had both eaten and had something to drink.

"I just feel foggy." Remus admitted. Lily nodded.

"I don't remember huge chunks of last April. It's like I was there, but I have no idea how I was there." Remus nodded this time. Lily took in a deep breath. "I had this thought last night." She said rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand. Remus gave her a quizzical look. "You can hate it or whatever, but I just thought it would be nice if we had something." Remus continued to stare. "I thought we could celebrate them. My parents were both muggles and you're mom was. Maybe we could do something once in a while to celebrate them, and who we are?"

"Isn't that a little dangerous in this day and age." Remus asked, the corner of his lip twitching. The idea sounded like a perfect solution to making purebloods livid and remembering his mother.

"I like it." Lily replied with a smirk. "We can play really loud muggle music and eat junk food and-"

"Play chess with pieces that don't argue back?" Remus added, and Lily couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course." She agreed holding up the remaining contents of her mug for a toast.

"Thanks." Remus said tiredly tapping the lip of his mug against hers. At that moment he was very thankful that she was there. She was steady if nothing else. She knew how to make tea, and knew just what to say. Often it seemed that Lily knew what others needed before they knew themselves.

Lily gave him a long slow stare. "They're doing the best they can, you know." She said. Remus blinked at her and she nodded toward the living room. Remus turned around. Sirius was stumbling to his feet and rubbing his eyes. Remus turned back to Lily and nodded jerkily. "They were talking last night after you fell asleep. They would do anything for you. You need to know that." Deep down Remus did know it, but it was often hard to remember. He had to admit though, the others had been doing everything they could think of to be supportive, in their own helpless way, but once again Remus was a wild card of need; always something new.

"I know." He told her with weary confidence, "I know."

Lily refilled his empty mug of tea and they sat while the others stumbled into the kitchen and ate whatever they could find and drink as many cups of tea as they could.


	14. Chapter 14: NEWTs and Nonsense

**Chapter 14: NEWTs and Nonsense**

James and Sirius didn't knock on the door when they entered early Thursday morning. They slammed in through the front door holding their envelopes up. "You didn't open them did you?" James demanded. Lily and Remus were sitting across from each other at the living room table looking like they were about to rip into two identical envelopes.

"You can't do that!" James panicked walking to the table and plucking the envelopes from their hands. "We're waiting for Peter and opening them together."

Their NEWT results had arrived not five minutes before. Sirius had rushed to James's and together they rushed to Lily and Remus's because if anyone was going to open their NEWT results together it would be them.

There was a loud crack in the hall and Peter walked in also holding an envelope, but it was clearly already open, the letter inside unfolded in his other hand.

"I flunked Potions, are you kidding me!" He whined. James blew out a puff of annoyed air at his wasted efforts and tossed all the envelopes over his shoulder and onto the table. Lily and Remus immediately sorted theirs out. Peter walked over to the table. "Come on open them so I'm not alone." He sighed.

"Count of three." Lily said to Remus, who nodded. They took a deep breath and Lily counted down, "Three, two, one." She yelled and Remus and Lily tore them open, pieces of tan parchment fluttering to the table. James and Sirius shared a stare before lazily picking up their own envelopes and opening them.

Lily squealed delightedly. "O's some E's!" she beamed. James opened his own scanning the A's, E's and two Os that covered the page. All acceptable and would get him into Auror training.

"Brilliant!" Sirius smiled "an A's and E's" He smirked "O in Defense. Moony?" Remus was looking at his own report a little dumbstruck. Sirius reached out a finger to poke him in the arm. "Moony?"

"It's good. It's fine, they're fine. Anyone want tea?" Sirius and James looked at him with raised eyebrows as he bolted around the living room table and into the kitchen. James looked at Sirius and jerked his head at their retreating friend. Remus was making noise in the kitchen puling out mugs and sugar and setting the kettle to boil.  
"No way!" Sirius mouthed.

"We drew straws, you have to deal with Remus's problems." James hissed back.

"When was that!?"

"I dunno."

"I said I would help if I could solve al his problems with alcohol." Sirius reminded and James shot him an annoyed look.

"Come on, you're better at getting him to stop sulking." James pleaded.

"I'm not sulking!" Remus yelled from the kitchen. James and Sirius rolled their eyes up to the ceiling.

"You're kinda sulking mate." Sirius countered. He threw his hands up at James, defeated and walked into the kitchen. Peter sighed heavily in a seat at the table and Lily reached out to pat his arm consolingly.

"What did you get?" Sirius asked as he rounded the edge of the counter. Remus was compulsively putting tea bags into five cups, still holding his results tightly in one fist. He scrounged around the top shelf for a bar of chocolate but came back empty-handed, his stash depleted with James and Lily's constant attempts to get him to eat. Sirius watched the NEWT results in the other boy's hands before he reached out to snatch it. Remus fought back for half a second then let Sirius have the paper.

"It's fine. I just… It's just. I could have done better you know?" Remus said motioning to the paper as he focused once again on tea making. Sirius scanned the list of O's. "Remus, these are all O's and an E?"

"They're not."

Sirius took another look. Halfway down the list was an A and then, to Sirius's surprise, a failing grade.

"Remus this is Potions and Arithmancy. Arithmancy is a bitch and you weren't actually awake for most of the Potions test."

"Yeah and potions is _not_ a passing grade." Remus said snatching his letter back from Sirius.

"James and I barely got E's on some things." Sirius concluded.

"You don't need the grades though…" Remus stated looking anywhere but at Sirius now that the mugs were prepared, "You have-"

"What?" Sirius pressed.

"Really?" Remus croaked turning on Sirius and squinting in anger.

"No, sorry, I get it." Sirius decided to agree. Remus turned back to the kettle that was now whistling. He poured the tea into the cups as he started making a plan.

"I'm going to talk to Dumbledore. I should at least be able to retake the potions exam if he signs off that I was sick that day. I'll go to the ministry tomorrow and sort out the paperwork."

"I'll go with you." Sirius offered.

"I don't need a babysitter!"

"You need a friend. You hate the ministry." Sirius pointed out.

Remus huffed at him, but then conceded, "fine."

"Great, now give me a cup of tea please." Sirius said reaching out, "We have O's to celebrate." Remus looked dubious but handed him one of the mugs and levitated the other four into the living room. They had moved to the couch and chairs by the fireplace; Lily next to James and Peter, who was still sulking, planted himself in his favorite chair.

"Sirius are you putting alcohol in your tea?" James chided as Sirius enter the room a minute later carrying his own cup of tea.

"No… Yes! A little. I PASSED NEWTs!" He argued planting himself in the other seat.

Remus checked the clock on the wall. "I have work today. I'll see you guys later?"

Everyone else mumbled, "yes" and Remus slipped back into his room to change.

"Me too." Peter said standing up and not looking pleased about the prospect.

"Bored by work already Wormtail?" James asked.

"Huh? No I just don't want to have to tell my coworkers I failed a NEWT." He admitted.

"It's fine, no one's even going to bother you about it." James comforted.

"And if they do, we'll come beat them up for you!" Sirius said cheerily. Peter half smiled at them as he left through the floo followed closely by a hurrying Remus.

"So what are we doing today?" Sirius asked James and Lily, who had tangled their legs together on the coffee table. They looked at him expectantly. " _We're_ not doing anything today are we?" He guessed. Lily agreed with a nod of her head.

"Fine, I have things, or something to do. Kitty's got a nice place in Hogsmeade, I'll see if she's there." He decided with a smile, and Lily waved unapologetically as he left through the front door.

* * *

The week ended and August turned quietly into September. The Bones proudly announced that Adrick was sorted into Hufflepuff as reports starting to trickle in about how many families had elected to keep their children home and safe during the school year. The Prewetts often talked about their sister's boys and how she worried constantly for their safety.

Sirius and James continued their pleading for a solo mission, and eventually one was scheduled, against Moody's will, for the fifth. Easy surveillance work he made sure, but work nonetheless. They spent the week getting up to snuff on anything Moody mentioned in passing and by Saturday they felt more than prepared to watch the front of an apartment building from the roof of a neighboring one. They sat hidden under James's invisibility cloak bored out of their minds but delighted to be out together without a babysitter.

Remus made himself scarce, but as effective as ever. His research for the Order was coming in twice as fast as it used to, and the marauders began to worry he had stopped sleeping completely. This became doubly likely when he started perusing, with all seriousness, books on mining, European prisons and smuggling. "Tare!" He smirked, pointing to an imaginary dot on a map one day when James was checking on him.

"Sleep!" James countered, before walking into the kitchen and pouring a healthy amount of sleeping potion into a fresh cup of tea.

Remus took the mug and while James hoped he would simply drink it without thinking he gave James a nice-try stare and set it aside before pointing out the names of a dozen legendary inmates. Later that same evening the bookwork assured Sirius it was just nice to have a distraction and that September made him nostalgic for homework, but that didn't stop the group's worry.

By mid-September Sirius-James shifts were on the schedule about once a week with an occasional Remus, Lily or Peter thrown into the mix.

Lily and Remus's investigation into the Shrieking Shack potions was continuing as well. However since they were nowhere near proving that the contents of the cauldron were sinister Sirius and James couldn't think of a good way to bring the issue to the Order in a way that would prove substantial. Instead Lily and Remus pressed on discovering the possible presence of two innocuous ingredients and possibly traces of a foreign mineral, but nothing else. Time trickled on.

"Mum I brought Remus over? Mum?" Peter's house keys clinked on the side table as he walked into their once grand home. Remus had been there a few summers previously when Peter's aunt had also been around. The woman really did keep the place in order as in her absence all the furniture looked slightly askew, book and newspapers were left lying around and photo albums were left open on several surfaces. Peter led him back to the kitchen. Here, in spite the rest of the house, there seemed to be some order. "What do you want to eat?"

"Whatever you have." Remus mumbled. He thought he heard a noise from another area of the house and was waiting to see if Peter had heard.

"Mum?" Peter shouted. He didn't wait for an answer but began pulling pots and various bits of food from the cabinets. As Peter lit the stove Remus heard his mother enter from a hallway off the dining room.

"Hello Mrs. Pettigrew." Remus said with a smile. The woman waved a hand back at him, distracted. Her hair hadn't been brushed in possibly days and her cloak, though clean and pressed, was crookedly buttoned.

"Peter, your Father still wants to see you." She said seemingly to the dining room curtains. By the stove Peter angrily pushed a half stick of butter into a warming saucepan. Remus could see him cursing under his breath. Remus shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"Mum, we went over this, Dad isn't around anymore." His mother sighed with the same upset tone Peter had just used and stumbled back out of the room. Peter waved his wand and the wooden spoon sprung to life, stirring the sauce. As he turned to get spices out of another cabinet Remus raised his chin questioningly.

"She's been on about it since I've been home from school, no clue. Dad's been dead since I was twelve, nothing I can do about it. 's not a ghost that for certain." Peter stated, focusing intently on cooking.

"No good that is." Remus mumbled crossing his arms. He tried to change the topic as he heard footsteps heading up a set of stairs. "How was duty with Mundungus by the way?" Peter looked annoyed once again. "That good?"  
"'s awful. Spent the whole time complaining about us, and the war."

"He's not exactly excited about this work."

"Not a bit, but he's got connections to the underworld, Dumbledore needs him." Peter shrugged working to marinade chicken he had pulled out of a cabinet. "We were just wandering around asking some of his contacts about French importing schemes. I dunno."

"The dark seedy underworld."

"Sirius should have gone, he would've be all into it." Peter stated setting the food into a skillet where it sizzled.

"Probably would enjoy it… You need to teach Lily and I how to cook, we can't figure it out to save us." Remus reminded and Peter smirked.

"You two caught your kitchen on fire the other day, I'm not helping until you figure out how to use a stove."

"I think we've now overcome that obstacle...Mostly."

Peter looked skeptical. "Maybe if you start with something easy?"

"I can make pasta."

"I know Moony, but that's the only thing you can make." Peter sighed. "Come on this has to cook a little." Once in the dining room they could hear Peter's mother fumbling around above them.

"She's been on a mission about something." Peter mumbled and the noise above them quieted. Remus looked around. Last time he was here the room was set with a vase of proper looking flowers, each one tall and colorful, but certainly in it's right spot. There was a delicate crocheted mat under each painted vase. There were family pictures tastefully displayed on the walls alongside pictures of boats floating lazily at sea. Now the pictures were dusty and crooked, the flowers wilting and dropping dirt-colored petals onto the dark wooden table below. The back half of the large table was stacked with odds and ends, old daily profit articles, blankets, coats, jars of food and empty potions bottles.

"Is your aunt coming back into town?"

"Sometime. She's taking care of things back at her place for a while." Peter replied without much enthusiasm. A clambering of noise directed their attention to the hall where Peter's mother was shuffling toward them holding a large cardboard box.

"Mum, what are you doing?"

"Looking for your Father." She panted setting the box onto the kitchen table and taking the lid of. A puff of dust flew into the air glittering in the light streaming through the large window at the end of the room. Peter pulled the tail of his shirt down, a nervous tick he'd had since fourth year when he suddenly grew out of every shirt he owned.

"Mum, I'm not talking to a picture of Dad, can we just put this box away." He said sounding very embarrassed about the situation. He glanced briefly at Remus and his friend tried to show he wasn't going to hold his mother's odd behavior against him.

"Not a picture of Donald. I want to show you _him_." She said looking up with a broad smile. Peter walked around the table and began shutting the box his mother was rummaging through.

"How about another time, we have company tonight." He noted nodding toward Remus.

This time his mother recognized Remus with a soft smile and a twinkle in her eye. "You don't mind me looking for pictures do you Remus? No of course not. Not with this war and everyone dying- Peter should know about these things." Peter slammed the cardboard lid of the box shut on his mother's hands. The embarrassment on his face was quickly replaced with worry. He was gauging his friend's reaction, but Remus didn't seem to have even noticed the mention of death. Instead he was looking contemplatively at the box his mother was still trying to get into.

"Come on Mum, let's sort out your hair before dinner yeah?" Peter asked, distracting the woman before lifting the box away from her. "I'll be back in a second." He said to Remus and walked out of the room with his mother right behind fussing about something Remus couldn't hear.

Peter rushed back down three minutes later and skidded into the kitchen cursing about boiling sauces. His mother had followed him but had apparently been distracted enough by her hair that she wasn't talking about his father anymore. She brushed it with her fingers as she wandered around the kitchen behind her haggard looking son asking both him and Remus about their jobs (fine), if they had found any girls yet (no), and if they thought lemons would grow well in the garden (only with the right spells).

They enjoyed dinner and Remus was sent home with not only leftovers from that dinner, but seemingly leftovers from the past week. Peter handed them over with a look that said "eat them all or I will stick Lily on you."

"I promise to eat them." Remus said reading his mind with a smirk, "see you at the meeting?"

Peter sighed heavily and replied "as always."

* * *

James flipped to the back of the Daily Profit. He had read that day's series of depressing articles and wanted quidditch news, anything to help him temporarily forget that a muggle family of three had been murdered, gleefully, the night before. There was a green skull blasted above their home, and some suggested a lingering chill was left in the air. The Order didn't want to add dementors to their list of foes already, but it was looking more and more like a possibility by the day. Something odd was certainly happening at the cold northern prison island. On top of that there were thefts in Hogsmeade and another wizarding shop had been partially burnt to the ground.

James flipped around looking for the sports section but Sirius must have pinched it because it was nowhere to be found. He looked up, Sirius was across the table from him sourly drinking at a cup of tea and definitely not reading. They had two hours to kill before going out on night watch and they had just gotten out of a planning meeting an hour ago. James grumbled and tossed the paper down on the table, beaten. He pulled his own cooled cup of tea back toward him, spelled it to warm up enough to make it worthwhile and joined Sirius in silence.

"Moon's in three days?" James reminded dryly after some time.

"We sticking with the Shack then?" Sirius said slowly, not bothering to pull himself into a sitting position.

"Should, I think, if nothing else we get to keep an eye out for any more trespassers." James agreed.

"Sniff around for Mulciber." Sirius agreed, following up the statement by yawning loudly.

"October's not a Halloween moon is it?" James asked looking suddenly worried.

"Nah this one's middle of the month, next one should be too. Why?"

"Lily and I's anniversary." James said and Sirius suddenly perked up. He smiled a genuine smile.

"One year, I never would have believed it." James laughed at Sirius's delight.

"Never thought I would get her, let alone keep her." James admitted earnestly. "What do you think I should do?"

"Marry her!" Sirius insisted misinterpreting James's question about anniversary celebrations for a question about life. James looked panicked for a moment until he realized his friend was joking.

"I meant for the anniversary, where should we go, should I get her something?"

Sirius leaned back in his chair, intertwined his finger and squinted pensively at James. "Well…" He began, "I don't have much experience with this 'anniversary' thing you speak of."

"Because you've never dated someone more than three times."

"and that was only once. Lydia Listing." He sighed briefly then waved off the thought. "But I am exceptional at planning the perfect romantic date." James didn't bother looking skeptical; Sirius's playboy status at Hogwarts was enough to tell him that Sirius did have skills.

"You have to start with a nice dinner, then get her a gift." Sirius instructed.

"Huh?"  
"We'll work on the gift later, for now we just need to make sure you have something to wear and a reservation."

"Well I wasn't going to go naked." James smirked. Sirius ignored him so he asked, "Where should we go?"

"Classically speaking puddyfoots would be the best, nostalgic and all that, but you want to appear suave and grown up so that childish heartsy fartsy place ranks too low." At that moment there was a politely sharp knock on the door cutting off Sirius's scheming. James's thoughts about fancy restaurants and Lily in fine gowns vanished. He was going to yell for whoever it was to just come in but Moody's growling voice insisted "constant vigilance" and he slowly got up from the table. He grumbled as he got to his feet and walked to his front door still holding his mug of cool tea. He peeked through the peephole.

"If you knock at my front door again I'm going to hex you." James said snapping the door open. Remus was standing on his welcome mat holding what appeared to be enough food to feed an army, not looking at all sorry about knocking.

"I was trying to respect your space."

"Don't." James grumbled turning sideways to let him in.

"I walked in on you an Lily once and I don't care to repeat that." Remus reminded slipping his shoes off by the front door respectfully, and completely unnecessarily, then walking into the small kitchen. Sirius was howling in laughter as Remus placed the containers of food onto the table.

"What's this then?" James wondered peeling off the lid of a still steaming bit of chicken in sauce.

"Food from Pete's. They wouldn't let me leave without taking half their fridge, eat up." Remus encouraged. Sirius and James looked dubious.

"Did you eat?" James asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I ate. Peter ate. I left food for Lily, just help a friend out here, I can't eat all of this." Remus said as he slipped into a vacant chair. Sirius stopped chortling and pulled himself straight before peering at Remus.

" _You_ should eat all of this." Sirius argued. Remus held his stare until Sirius threw his hands in the air and pulled the container out of James's hand. He hadn't made a move to eat and instead was scrutinizing Remus. He was scrawnier than he had been at Hogwarts though he and Lily had been stocking their fridge religiously. He was more tired-looking though Lily had forcibly drugged him a few times to get him to sleep. James sighed at the lost cause and turned to Sirius with a pointed look suggesting he better put the food down.

Sirius shrugged.

"I'm not saying 'no' to free food Jamsie." Sirius explained plopping the food in front of him and accio-ing a fork. James resigned himself to the loss and sat back down in his own seat.

Remus waited for the big "how are you" question but it didn't come so with a relaxed smile he asked, "So do you have plans for your birthday yet Sirius?"

Sirius finished chewing through a mouthful of food and said. "I saw this place in a travel book. It's a bar called, get this-" Sirius looked very excited about something and James and Remus both leaned in slightly. "The Marauder… We have to go." Sirius said delightedly. Remus and James smiled at his enthusiasm and leaned back in their chairs. "It'll be perfect."

"It'll be a dingy coastal wreck." Remus corrected. Sirius couldn't disagree.

He pointed his fork at Remus, "Of course."

"Whatever you like." James agreed with a small laugh then to Remus, "We were thinking the Shack again." He said it matter-of-factly because at this point in their lives it unfortunately was. Remus silently appreciated James for his nonchalance. He didn't skirt the issue and it never made him uncomfortable. Remus nodded without saying anything. "How bad do you think it's going to be?" James continued and Remus could feel James's eyes on him.

"I'm not thinking about it." Remus decided to admit as a cloud passed behind his eyes. James leaned onto the table with a nod and closed his hands together.

"Then we'll worry about it when we get there." James pretended to agree with Remus for his sake. He then glanced over at Sirius and tried to catch his eye, but the other was digging into his late dinner with puppyish gusto. _We're going to do all the planning then_ , he wanted to say, but he held it in, he would remind Sirius later. It was just another month of many.

* * *

A/N At this point I've been able to describe my recent chapters as _Remus is having a bad week and Sirius is drinking_. hmmmm. This was short, but it's done now. On to funner things...?


	15. Chapter 15: Papers and a Pyre

**Chapter 15: Papers and a Pyre**

"What on earth is in that cabinet?" James asked wandering around Lily's small kitchen table and peeking into a half opened cabinet.

"Um, polyjuice potion." Lily replied still looking for glasses. "Dumbledore actually asked me to make it, handed me a restricted section book and everything."

"That's a lot, though, isn't it?" James asked leaning over to look at the contents of two bubbling cauldrons.

"Yeah, I decided to make extra. I thought, since I have the recipe and everything, next month I could pretend to be Remus, you know, at work. With his Mom and everything he's missed a lot. We thought it might throw his boss off." James was still staring at the potion.

"That's disgusting looking."

"Yeah, I try not to think about what's in it." Lily mumbled rinsing out two mugs in lieu of real glasses and filling them with the wine. They had almost successfully cooked dinner together, and besides having burnt a few rolls and misplaced all of their butter knives and glasses they were about to sit down for a decent meal.

"Is it supposed to smell like that?" James continued.

"What, dinner?" Lily asked glancing to the table.

"The potion."

"Oh…I hope so, otherwise I'm going to die when I drink it."

"Maybe I should do it for you?" James suggested.

Lily took a sip of her drink. "Better you than me, but I figured we could draw straws when we got our Order schedules."

"Fair enough." James reached out and Lily handed over the second mug.

"Speaking of work, did Remus tell you who was in the shop the other day?" Lily suddenly asked. James ruffled his hair, he had heard and he hadn't liked it.

"Regulus." He mumbled.

"It's a little odd. School's in session and everything." Lily prodded, watching James's eyes for any further information.

"I think we have to stop assuming anything under the current circumstances. So Regulus was in Diagon Alley? He's a seventh year and legal. He might have apparated there during a Hogsmeade weekend or something. Remus said he bought a book about house elves or something. That's not our problem." James sighed.

"He is if he's also doing Death Eater work on one of his little escapades. I was just wondering if Sirius had heard anything, or if he wanted us to try to turn him in. We're certain Regulus's a Death Eater so shouldn't we be worried?" At this James nodded slowly.

"That's very true. Sorry. I'll see what Sirius thinks." James told Lily a little more cheerfully as they took seats across from each other at the table.

"So how's your sister?" James asked, now that they were on the subject of wayward siblings.

"Still married." Lily answered dully. Brief panic at the thought of marriage flicked over James's face, but it was quickly hidden.

"They're not still mad about that meal we had with them last Christmas?" He asked, regaining his composure.

"No, well yes, but that's hardly your fault. Sorry about dragging you to that, meeting my family when we'd only been dating two months was kind of mean."

"No, I'm just sorry I haven't made it up to them yet."

"It's okay. They weren't particularly interested in patching things up at the wedding." Lily sighed before changing the subject. "And your parents? Still wandering around somewhere?"  
"Somewhere" James agreed with a small laugh. He took another sip of wine. " I got a postcard from Argentina."

"Lovely. And at least they are safe." Lily sighed contentedly.

James shrugged. "I've been too busy to worry about them really. So what did the Longbottoms say about last weekend?"

"The giants?" Lily clarified and when James nodded she continued, "Don't know. Everyone's fairly certain it was at the bidding of You-Know-Who though. Thankfully we were there or the damage would have been much worse. Most of the giants couldn't get past our barrier."

"I guess that's a relief, I just wish the giants would stay out of it." James sighed. He and Sirius had been pretending to be bartenders in the south as the Order was called out to push giants from the edge of a muggle town. The informants James and Sirius were expecting never showed, and they felt a little left out.

"Melinda thinks Voldemort has offered them land." Lily replied with little enthusiasm.

"We obviously can't offer them much but maybe we can prove that Voldemort's lying…" James began scheming as he fiddled with the tip of the spoon they were using to dish peas onto their plates.

"I think the Longbottom's and Hagrid are doing the best they can on that front. Shouldn't we be more worried about who the witches and wizards are siding with?"

"And werewolves." James mumbled, still seeming to be lost in his thoughts.

"Werewolves?" Lily wondered as she buttered a roll and took a bite.

"Nothing." James said snapping back into himself, "Remus and Moody have just been talking, they've heard things."

Lily look contemplative. James figures she was storing away information to talk with Remus about later and when she spoke she was already on her way to changing the subject. "Well for the moment I would stop worrying about it and start worrying about how we're going to make it up to Sirius since we had to celebrate his birthday here instead of at that weird place on the coast." Lily reminded.

James smiled. "Not my fault we couldn't go into public that night. I wasn't the one who got hit with a sparking-boils curse."

"Poor Peter." Lily sighed. "He's out with Mundungus again tonight. Are you and Sirius house-watching?"

James nodded.

"Have fun, I guess." Lily smiled encouragingly, but it was a weak smile and James didn't feel his spirits lift at all.

* * *

James flipped his wand around between his fingers again. Night had fallen over the small town of Chatterbury and a chilly breeze was whipping through neatly trimmed hedges to where he and Sirius sat on a pristine white bench. They were waiting to catch sight of any possible Death Eater and slowly losing themselves to boredom. It wasn't always easy to identify the figures who walked down the quiet cobbled street, but they suspected that a Death Eater sizing up their next victim would show signs of interest in the small brick house across from where they sat under James's invisibility cloak. As of yet not a single passerby took even a double take of the neat little home.

James suspected, as there was little other cover, that his cloak was part of the reason they had been allowed to do this particular stakeout. The other reason being that it was easy, and, as Moody had grumbled, "the rookies probably can't screw it up." Rookies, James had spat, it was late October and Moody was still barely letting them out, let alone to do anything interesting, or seemingly helpful.

James sighed as some teenagers skidded by, their laughter loud and their off-key singing louder. A flicker of jealousy shot through James. How long ago had it been since they were those kids? At the thought of kids he was reminded to ask, "Have you heard from your brother lately?" He tried to sound off-handed, but he was silently wondering how Sirius was handling his brother's fall into the world of Death Eaters.

"What brother?" Sirius replied without inflection and James's question was answered. He didn't bother asking if Regulus was still in school or was one of the Death Eaters they might now be looking for. It didn't matter, and he didn't think Sirius would know.

James tilted his head back toward the scattered stars as an old lady and her very small dog walked by without so much as blinking toward the house. Sirius groaned next to him.

James held out a handful of Bertie Botts. They had gone through three packs of them, four Pumpkin Pasties apiece, dozens of Chocolate Frogs as well as some cookies Lily and Remus had successfully baked. The ground around their invisible feet was slowly being covered in the crinkling candy wrappers that had slipped out of their pockets. Moody shouldn't be worried that they would screw up an exciting mission, it was the boring ones they were apt to destroy, simply out of frustration.

"I say we hex the next person who walks by." Sirius mumbled popping an off-white bean into his mouth. "Gross, salt."

"I say we turn that tiny dog's paws green." James smirked lazily.

"Repaint all the mailboxes puce."

"Tickle charm a squirrel and put it down someone's pants."

"Iambic chatter charm some teenagers." Sirius snorted.

"Moody would kill us." James reminded soberly.

"Not a major hex though, like a good one, a cheering charm?" Sirius tried hopefully. James was considering their options when out of the darkness he heard twin pops and perked up instantly, scanning the immediate area for his prey. The night was suddenly interesting. No black robes or masked figures slipped into view, however. Across the street, two red heads burst out from behind the brick house's rose brambles and began scanning the immediate area.

"Potter." One of the men hissed, walking across the street at a rushed pace. "Potter!"

James scrambled to his feet and pulled the cloak off as an afterthought. Sirius followed his actions, balled up the cloak and held it tight in his hand. Fabian didn't waste his breath with pleasantries but dove in. "We need your help at the Lestranges, it's urgent."

"Emmeline's not helping you?" Sirius asked, a little confused. Emmeline and the Prewetts were a well-known dream team.

"She is but-" Gideon said reaching the small group.

"We need your certain skillset." Fabian clarified with biting urgency.

"Now?" James asked, a bit worried about abandoning his post.

"Now." Fabian demanded holding out his arm for James to grab so he could side-along to the protected home. James assumed the pair had already found a chink in whatever armor usually kept the house protected. Gideon didn't say a word but grabbed Sirius by the collar and before they knew it they were being squeezed through apparation.

The group of four landed heavily on a circular gravel path before a towering victorian house. The entire place echoed what little James knew about the couple living within its walls. They were unimaginably wealthy and equally unstable. Tokens of their riches, marble and gold-plated statues littered the walkway and the surrounding overgrown gardens seemingly without order. Wind chimes hung from every inch of the large porch making a confusing cacophony of noises that included whistles and human-like shrieks. What might have once been a lush garden in the center of the gravel path now looked as intent on strangling and dragging over the statue of an elegant couple as the house's occupants were of destroying muggles.

As Gideon and Fabian led them carefully up to the dark front porch James noticed the dark stone that made up parts of the house jutting out in fierce angles. James shot Sirius a raised eyebrow and the elder Black raised his hands as if to say "Don't look at me I left the family." He then whispered aloud to the twins, "Their wards were bound to go off."

Fabian shook his head slightly as James and Sirius eyed a screeching wind chime suspiciously.

"That was phase one, Emmy turned off all the sirens. We were going to spend the night quietly spying, but things turned interesting and we need to get in. The Lestranges are keeping some documents for Volypants." Sirius snorted in appreciation and Gideon motioned for him to be quieter. "There are plans for something in there..." James briefly imagined Filche's office, the files upon files of paperwork, the wards on every inch.

"The problem with this place is the Lestranges well-"

"They say-"

"Bellatrix likes to play with her food." Gideon finished bitingly.

James and Sirius must have looked confused because Fabian continued, "They have a rather strict, easy to get in, impossible to get out policy."

"And we are going in?" James asked trying not to betray his excitement in deference to the Prewett's clear distaste for the place. A pair of red heads bobbed slowly in unison and James tried to hold down the flicker of a smile fighting at the corner of his mouth. "So how do we get out then?" Fabian and Gideon looked at each other a little nervously.

"That's the reason we needed you, Black." Fabian admitted, using Sirius's surname for the first time since they met all those months ago.

James glanced to the side. Sirius looked mutinous.

"I'm not using my families status for-" He started but Fabian covered his mouth hastily as James lightly grabbed the back of his friend's shirt to keep him from diving at anyone. Sirius's face began to burn red with rage.

"We know exactly how you feel about this Sirius, but this is important, so you're going to do it anyway." Gideon hissed. There was a racket of noise above them, and they all jumped, worried their argument had brought attention to themselves. They relaxed when a pair of sleek ravens flapped away from the porch top. Tensed shoulders slumped and James and Sirius exchanged a deep look, James ready to jump to Sirius's defense, but Sirius turned back to the twins and acquiesced with a slight nod, still inwardly seething. He wasn't about to give up an opportunity for real Order work just for pride's sake.

Fabian slowly uncovered his mouth. "You can turn off the house's anti-apparition wards can't you? Because getting out the front door for a non family member is almost impossible without a blood sacrifice."

Sirius's mind briefly flickered back to his childhood and the spells his parents would cast around the house to make it safer. What would be the reversal spells for that? Occasionally his father, in rage, would apparate into Sirius's room if he had locked the door. What did his father always have to cast before doing that? He racked his brain for a second before nodding. He knew the spells. If all he needed was pure Black blood and a few waves of his wand to take down the wards he could do it. He nodded more clearly for Fabian and Gideon. "I can do it." There were relaxed smiles as James asked,

"What do I have to do with this then?"

"Firstly, the cloak, and secondly, you and Sirius are accomplished pranksters, a skill Moody underestimates." The twins shared a look and James and Sirius suddenly understood how disconcerted others felt when something was communicated silently between him and Sirius.

Gideon continued for his brother "You've also had practice communicating across a room while wearing the cloak if McGonagall's stories are anything to go by." James opened his mouth to admit to using the mirrors and the Maurader's Map to communicate then closed it again. Now wasn't the time and Fabian didn't need to know all of their secrets just yet. James glanced at Sirius and Sirius glanced back reasserting that they both had their mirrors stuffed deep in their cloak pockets. "Basically you two need to be great at snatching something and running without getting caught." He finished.

"So we're getting voldy's plans?" James clarified, trying out the twin's game of playing with Voldemort's name.

Gideon smirked. "Exactly. Bellatrix-"

"-The bitch." Gideon and Fabian both spat on the ground as if her name were a curse. The rage that had been slowly draining from Sirius disappeared completely and he smiled at the twin's antic.

"-is showing them off to her friends."

"We would very much like them." Gideon finished.

"The group of ladies were in the study earlier, then they went to the dinning room with something and that's when we went to grab you."

James squinted at the pair, trying to make sense of the directions they were getting.

"Follow her and snatch whatever it is she's showing off. Preferably without her knowing who's doing the stealing." Fabian finished pointedly.

"We'll be outside if you need help."

"Or more likely if you need a distraction. Gideon and I are good at distractions." Fabian winked and James felt a little shorted that Remus and Peter weren't there with them. They were good at distractions too.

"Cloak on boys, and good luck." Gideon said with a cheeky smile, cutting off any further questions. Sirius unrolled the cloak in his hand and slipped it over his and James's head. "wards-wise, you're safe through the front door, I don't know how much further you will get." Gideon admitted. James and Sirius nodded, but the twins clearly couldn't see them because they were simply squinting at where Sirius and James had been standing moments before. James looked at Sirius who looked back and they turned together toward the front door. This was their chance to prove themselves.

James and Sirius could make any door opening look like the wind, but whether that would work here, he didn't know. They slipped in through the dark wood front door to the distant sounds of pots and pans banging together, but no one was in sight. They closed the door as quietly as possible and breathed in a prayerful breath.

Listening closer they could hear raucous laughter somewhere near the back of the house amidst the kitchen sounds. James and Sirius stepped to the side of the door and stood tight against the entryway wall, sizing up their options. James glanced around briefly then held out his left hand. With a whisper and three flicks of his wand an old spell Remus had discovered and James had perfected slowly formed a blue hazy orb suspended in the palm of his hand. Darker blue lines within the sphere showed walls as well as furniture in rooms nearby. The spell didn't spread far, ad James had to hold it in place with his wand, but it spread far enough from their present location to show the few spaces directly surrounding them. James cringed; he hadn't used the spell in years, and had temporarily forgotten how to add a detector for living beings. He and Sirius, under the cloak, wouldn't have shown up in the foggy blue orb but any other threats might have.

James held the orb out to give Sirius a better view of their location. They were in the entryway, a large room with ornate paintings, candle holders, and a troll leg umbrella stand that Sirius believed was the pair to the one in his childhood home. He glanced at the orb where a deep blue wall separated the entryway from a larger room to the right that appeared to be a sitting room full of dark wood couches, coffee tables and bookshelves. A kitchen where all the noise was clearly coming from was straight back, and though they could only see half of it a dining room was next to it. They could see the base of some stairs in a room off to their left, but no sign of an office where plans or paperwork might be hidden.

The distant laughter grew louder and James and Sirius pressed themselves tighter against the wall, waiting, planning. A door slammed open at the end of the entryway. James could feel Sirius tense next to him as a woman with wild black hair and a wicked smile emerged from the room they suspected was the dining room. Three women surrounded her, each looking more venomous than the next, chatting and sharing wicked, angled smiles. A redhead on her right looked particularly horrible with long painted nails and high cheekbones red from mirth. "I watched the muggle squeal…." She said to an uproar of cackling.

"Pathetic creatures." Bellatrix agreed. "I caught one simply walking by once. . . They asked me for the time." Bellatrix absolutely gasped in giddiness, as if asking for the time were some tremendous punch line. James held a hand out in front of Sirius. They needed information more than they needed to murder his cousin, though that was sounding more and more like the correct choice of action. Sirius looked over to James his eyes were burning dark with rage, but he didn't move from under the cloak so James dropped his arm.

"I left them in here, to show you ladies. My husband has it all planned out." Bellatrix cooed proudly. It seemed they wouldn't have to wait long to get what they came for. Bellatrix was simply laying the plans before them albeit in front of a crowed of women. The group of women passed through the entryway and into the sitting room.

Their invisible footsteps were no louder than the woman's jubilation as James and Sirius rushed across the threshold. James put out the spell in his hand and glanced around the room. He checked for exit strategies. Windows could be jumped out of and they might be able to apparate from the front yard like they had when coming in. There was a fireplace, but no floo powder container sat atop it. Their options were limited.

Bellatrix and her cronies were settling themselves into the couch as their leader called for her house-elf. "Tabby!" James shut his eyes for what he knew was coming. When she arrived, shivering and barely clothed, James slowly cracked his eyes open and glanced to Sirius. His companion didn't seem to notice the new arrival and was instead whispering spells under his breath, poking lightly at the house's protection spells, trying to bring them down.

"Fix the fire up and get a fine bottle of wine from the cellar." Bellatrix asked rather softer than James anticipated though he couldn't block out her glee as she watched the creature hobble on a clearly hurt leg to the fire where it burnt its fingers on the wood it was moving without a poker. "Hurry now Tabby!" Bellatrix snapped suddenly, losing interest. The small creature stood straighter and appeared calm for a brief second before she disappeared. James blinked away from the spot the creature had been, back to Bellatrix. She leaned forward coyly in her seat and James's eyes landed on the coffee table. A large curled piece of parchment sat before her. A seal on the side was broken and though he couldn't make out the symbol he already suspected that upon the melted green wax was a dark mark.

"You just have to understand why we joined him so completely." She was explaining. "There are so many… benefits…and he… he is miraculous. Doesn't only believe in blood-purity, like so many of the others, he truly has a plan for brining it about." Bellatrix's voice was wispy and reverent, and James considered sneaking forward just to hear her. He looked to his right though, and worried that a closer proximity or any more overheard words would be too much for Sirius to handle. His friend's wand movements were turning sharp in his concentration to both bring down the anti-apparition wards and ignore his cousin's words. Instead of moving James reached into his pocket for his mirror and started planning how to get the parchment out from under her nose.

There was a small clink as the house elf returned with a bottle tipping dangerously on a tray with four glasses. Sirius jerked his elbow into James's side. He glanced over and saw Sirius mouth, "I can get it off." Bellatrix was glaring at the house elf who was beginning to pour wine into the glasses. James nodded then pointed to his wrist asking how long it would take to turn it off. Sirius flashed five fingers, five minutes. Afterward all they would need would be to have the plans in hand and apparate out. That could be done easily with a summoning charm, but it was likely that the parchment was blocked against such charms. If they waited for Bellatrix to set the paper down or leave they could simply steal it, but she might also take it to another room and lock it away. Right now it was right in front of them for the taking, they could walk over, snatch it from her bony fingers and disapparate before she was any the wiser. James glanced at Sirius again but he was busy staring at Bellatrix as if she were a charging bludger needing to be batted away.

"All we need now is to show our full dedication, and I'm just so pleased with what he has planned for us." Bellatrix bragged. A sinister smile crept across her face as she leaned forward and set her wine glass on the coffee table. Her long thumbnails scratched against the rough paper as she uncurled it. James saw blueprints. They were building something!

"We pull a Peter." Sirius breathed out, deciding on their tactic.

"Bit dull." James whispered back, but his voice said he agreed and he added "Red vase, top shelf, the far bookshelf?" Sirius nodded and without another word slipped as close to the coffee table as possible. With a deep breath Sirius shot a spell at the red vase. Slowly but surely the red vase began wiggle. A small tail grew out of the side and ears sprouted from the brim. Only one set of eyes moved in the direction of the vase. They were large round blue eyes and they grew to the size of saucers as they saw what was going on.

"Mistress! Mistress Lestrange!" Bellatrix's attention snapped to her elf, venom in the motion. James groaned. If the house elf got in trouble for this he would be very disappointed in himself.

"What do you want Tabby?" Bellatrix snapped, but her hands stayed firmly on the plans. A whiskered mouth now sprouting from the vase made a squeaking noise that was even higher than those of the elf. The red ornate vase was just beginning to sprout fur when Sirius, done with the slow distraction, switched spells and the vase was suddenly a very large red rat flying from the bookshelf to the coffee table. It scattered glasses and a vase full of dead flowers as it squealed and squirmed around the table. At Sirius's encouragement it darted for Bellatrix's hands and she finally dropped the plans. James's hands, momentarily visible, snatched it up.

He felt successful for the briefest moment before a scream ripped through the air. He glanced up and certified his fear that it was not directed at the rat but where his hands had been a second before. A long bony finger was pointing as a voice screamed "Mistress, a hand a hand mistress, invisible intruder." James cursed to himself, loyal-house elves! They needed to leave now.

No sooner had he stuffed the plans into his pocket than a wide sweeping bludgeoning spell shot out from a wand and slammed into his face. There was a nauseating crunch and James folded over grabbing his nose trying not to make a noise. It was a crude and affective means to find an invisible person he thought as he shut his eyes against the pain. He didn't have time for this but as he turned to disapparate it was if something had swatted him back to the ground. He landed heavily on his stomach, half of his body sticking out from under the invisibility cloak. Sirius landed a second after him looking winded and bewildered. Both faces mirrored brief panic because the anti-apparition wards clearly hadn't been shut down. As Sirius motioned that he had one more idea there was a tug on James's pant leg and he was dragged out of the tangle of the invisibility cloak by a pair of strong hands. Sirius threw off the cloak and scrambled to his feet, preparing to duel.

"Sirius!" Bellatrix bellowed angrily. She looked twice as livid as Sirius had upon first seeing her. Her usually cream skin was blotchy with red spots and muscles were straining painfully against the skin on her neck. James heard rather than saw the beginning of their duel as the pair of hands wrapped around his ankle dropped him and reached for a wand. He rolled aside dodging purple sparks as he scrambled around in his pocket for his own wand. From the floor he tried to focus on deflecting spells and not on the vile language spewing from the cousins on the other side of the room.

Tabby had disappeared from the room and at least one of the women had drove behind an end table for safety. James rolled on the ground again, shot a disarming spell at his main adversary who he now recognized as the redhead from the entryway and jumped to his feet. He was raising his wand again when the fourth woman made herself known with a shoving spell at his back. James's head slammed hard into the edge of the fireplace and black dots appeared in his vision. He blinked them away quickly as he stumbled back to the ground while trying to keep a defensive position.

He turned to the redhead and smirked when he saw that she had lost her wand with his disarming spell. He spun on the ground and shot another disarming spell. It missed its mark and he was soon distracted by a body slamming into him, pinning him to the ground.

The redhead had retrieved her wand and was now on top of him fighting aggressively to hold him in place as the other woman slipped closer. Both women had winning smirks on their faces now and James's stomach twisted with disgust. He struggled under the weight of the first woman his wand arm now pinned between them while hers was pointed at his neck.

With his free arm James pushed her wand arm away, but she was clawing bitterly at him fighting with everything she had. Unable to make pure movements her half finished spells missed his head and torso. James was pulling his wand out from where their bodies were pressed together as he tried to see past her to his feet. Sometime in their scrambling they had half rolled into the fire. Cloth was burning but he didn't know whose robe hem it was. Across the room he could hear Sirius and Bellatrix screaming at one another as they fought. A window behind Sirius smashed and shards of glass clinked to the floor. Sirius flicked his wand in a broad circle as Bellatrix glanced at her destroyed property.

"Oops, there go the anti-apparition wards." Sirius laughed casting another spell in his cousin's direction. There was a screech clearly from Bellatrix and Sirius dove over the table grabbing for the invisibility cloak. A spell from Bellatrix missed him by inches as James pulled his wand free. He was about to blast the woman off of himself, and Sirius must have expected him to do so because in the next moment he had James's wrist and they were side-along apparating away from the house. James hadn't been quick enough though and instead of being free from the woman she was now clinging desperately to James's robes.

They were being sucked tightly into oblivion when everyone was jerked painfully sideways. It was a feeling James had never experienced before. Air that was barely held in his lungs was slammed out, Sirius's tentative grip slipped and the woman holding tight to him was almost shaken away. His head felt like it was being pulled in a different direction from his body as every piece of them was shaken. Just as James worried pieces of him would tumble away they landed heavily in a dark, small and crowded space.

Before he could get a grip on what was going on Sirius tumbled down from a tower of wooden boxes to the floor. James felt a draft as he coughed away sawdust lifted up either in their arrival or Sirius's fall. James pushed the suddenly terrified woman off of himself as he scuttled toward the far end of the space. He was on rough wood and looking up at a gabled roof. "Wow, okay, not completely turned off." Sirius said coughing and trying to stand.

"What?" James asked scrambling unsteadily to his feet and readjusting his wand so he was pointing it threateningly at the woman and the only bit of light penetrating the space. He blinked through the dusty haze and noticed with a shock that the light was coming from the flames burning up the side of the woman's robe.

"Oh shit." Sirius grumbled. In the dry dusty room the flames had already jumped to the nearest box and the fire was working its way up the pyre of crates and sawdust.

"Sorry about the rough ride. I turned off most of the anti-apparition ward, but apparently you could only pick a few points to go to. Bellatrix-"

"The bitch-" James coughed, trying to make a joke.

"Is probably following us."

A pop followed quickly by a crash behind the woman made James scramble back again. "Where's a door!?" he demanded trying to see through the thickening haze. If this was a Lestrange construct the door might be hidden. Sirius was holding his wand out, considering the pros and cons of extinguishing the ensuing blaze, and didn't answer.

James covered his nose and mouth with a robed arm as two dark silhouettes rose behind the screen of dust and smoke. "I'd give 'em an O for effort. _Expelliarmus_!" The woman's wand flew from her hands and James sighed with relief as the Prewetts' wands flicked around in the air. Without her wand the woman was now screaming, both at them and the fire.

"That was fun." Gideon said satisfactorily.

"Not a lot of choice in places to escape to was there?" Fabian added patting Sirius's shoulder as he stepped through the smoke to see them more clearly.

"Are you coming peacefully?" Gideon asked the woman with as strong air of authority. The woman replied with a colorful string of profanities.

"I take that as a 'no'. Have fun cooking." Gideon said and waited. James could feel the air in the room disappearing, his eyes were watering and he was burning with heat. There was more cursing. Fabian waited a moment then patted James's shoulder.

"Come along." He suggested and steered James toward a wall of what James now recognized as a large shed. Fabian blasted a person-sized hole in the wall and they stepped through as the added oxygen in the small space sent the flames higher still. The night air was clear and the sky sparkled with the same stars James had been staring at from the bench in Chatterbury.

"Nice shed." Fabian mused as he tugged James's sleeve, trying to direct him out of the clearing and toward a thin forest. "Come on, we're safe for now." Fabian explained as James turned and followed but not before catching sight of Sirius and Gideon who were now negotiating the terms of a burning woman's arrest.

Fabian planted himself into the damp grass and leaned against a tree. James fell to the ground next to him and rested his back against the rough bark of gnarled walnut. They sat catching their breath for a few seconds then, much to James's amusement, Fabian transfigured a rather large leaf into a cleanly pressed yellowish handkerchief and handed it over. "Your head, it's bleeding. Get that stopped. We can't go to Mungo's since Benjy was almost done in by some Death Eaters healers and we can't have you bleeding to death." He noted. James felt around on his forehead until he found where the cut originated and pressed the rag to it. It was barely a scratch and really he couldn't feel the pain over the throbbing in his nose, which he assumed was bleeding as well.

"You alright?" Fabian asked eyeing him up in the dark. James nodded, tilted his head back and gingerly pressed a finger under his nose. Something warm and sticky greeted him.

"M'fine. How long do we have then?" James asked, his voice muffled as he pinched his nose trying to stem the bleeding.

"Meh, an hour maybe." Fabian said as he glanced back at the shed. "The Lestranges have three apparition points one can go to when they shut off their first line of anti-apparition wards. Which is what Sirius did. Emmy's making it look like we are at one on the other side of the country. They'll be looking around there for quite a while." He smirked with satisfaction. The rather long time frame was comforting to James but he still wanted to be far away from any chance of capture.

"How are you liking your time with the Order?" Fabian suddenly asked out of the silence. They both watched quietly as flames made it through the shed roofing to touch the horizon.

"It's fine." James mumbled. His nose seemed to have temporarily stopped bleeding. He let go of it, looked over to Fabian and had to add, "I just thought that there would me more-"

"Saving people?" Fabian finished for him. James nodded carefully.

"I thought that too, you know." Fabian admitted. "When Dumbledore came to us, it was like a dream come true, an army! We would be on the front lines saving families, locking up the Death Eaters, real auror work. No O-level NEWTs needed." Fabian said with a small laugh. "It took months before that old man trusted us. Emmy as well, she spent months glaring at him. Then one day Edgar, annoyed and already buried under ten layers of different work, snaps. Absolutely snaps and demands that Moody let us do real leg work… I think this was when Melinda was pregnant again… and still working, don't really remember." Fabian waved away the thought.

"But arguing with Moody, that didn't work, so to spite old Moody Edgar just drags us out of our house one night, tells us to apparate to some random place and not to return without such-and-such a dark device." Fabian glanced over to James and he could see the shed's fire, as well as something else dancing in his eyes. "And we did it, and Moody had to accept that we weren't useless. I think he was a bit stunned."

"So more saving people now?" James asked hopefully.

"More saving people." Fabian agreed.

"You think that'll work for us?"

"Oh, hell no… We burnt a shed down, you've got two black eyes and Bellatrix is surely plotting revenge. Moody's gonna kill you." James deflated at the realization. "On the other hand…" Fabian continued and James perked up. "We have this." He slipped his finger into the collar of his robes and pulled down enough for James to see a pile of crisp white parchment held tight to his chest.

"Huh?"

"You and Sirius are excellent distractions." Fabian winked. "And not to shabby at disabling anti-apparition wards." He mused. James fumbled in his own robe pocket until he pulled out the crinkled parchment he had stolen. Bits of green wax fell to the ground as he smoothed it out before him.

"Nice new dungeon they're building, isn't it?" Fabian said looking at the blueprints that James now realized matched the outline of the Lestrange's house. He groaned, but Fabian didn't stop smiling. James plucked a few bits of the wax off the ground. What remained of the seal he now realized showed tools of a construction trade, and not a single snake. He groaned and tossed the wax pieces back to the ground.

"That is actually useful too." Fabian consoled. "They've put their dungeon and security plans right there. If they ever capture one of us we'll have an idea of what they'll use to keep us out… or in… and you gave us enough time to duplicate these." Fabian tapped his chest. "So they have no clue that we know everything. Brilliant."

"So we did well but Moody's gonna be pissed?" James clarified.

Fabian shrugged. "Well that is kind of his state of existence."

Leaves crunched before them as Sirius and Gideon walked over, dragging the woman along behind. Sirius reached out for the rag over James's head, but James didn't budge as he wearily examined the blueprints before him.

"Move your rag, dumbass." Sirius mumbled, some of the anger he had directed at his cousin still seeping into his voice. James wasn't insulted and he let Sirius swat his hand away from his head, pull out his wand and easily seal it with two spells.

"You two know how to heal?" Gideon asked as he helped his brother to his feet.

"Madam Pomfrey demanded we learned a few basic spells after our 30th trip to the hospital wing." Sirius explained lighting the end of his wand to make sure he had fixed all the damage.

Fabian laughed quietly. "Beat our record then."

"Only in trips to the infirmary though." James sighed.

"I think since there were two more of us we also beat their Filch record." Sirius noted. Fabian and Gideon faked insult to the marauders amusement.

A loud whumph and crackling from behind them signaled that the last bit of the shed's roof had fallen in a heap of flames to the ground. "We should get going." Gideon noted and Sirius pulled James to his feet. He handed Fabian the blueprints with a sigh.

Gideon walked a few paces back, slung the bound, gagged and flailing woman over his shoulders then walked to the front of their gang to lead them through the forest and to the true edge of the anti-apparition wards.

They walked for perhaps twenty minutes before they met Emmeline, hands on her hips, and a smirk on her face at the other edge of the forest. "Have the brothers returned victorious?" She asked with a curious smile.

"Always." Fabian replied with a charming smile.

"I meant the other brothers. They getting on Moody's good side tonight? Did they actually manage to get any work done with you two around?" James glanced briefly at Sirius who had a flicker of a smile on his face.

"I stunned my cousin." Sirius bragged.

"Glad to hear it."

"And you dear?" Gideon asked.

"They still think you left from the Wayward Place." She replied proudly.

"You do your work well darling." Fabian smiled as his double dropped the bound women at her feet.

"And you brought me a present." Emmeline mused poking the woman in the side with a sneakered foot. "We should apparate out. Give Moody the good news, and I think these two have a watch to finish." She added, more seriously. James and Sirius exchanged glances without the need to express their fatigue at the thought of sitting through the rest of the watch.

"Have fun." Fabian said with a cheeky smile before popping away without further ado. Gideon followed a second later and Emmeline gave them a not-at-all-sorry grin before grabbing the woman's wrist and disappearing.

"Really?!" Sirius groaned, followed by a childish curse before he leaned heavily into a tree. He wearily unstuffed the invisibility cloak from his pocket and held it out but James was still caught up on what Emmeline had called them.

"Brothers?" James smirked catching Sirius's eye, but Sirius didn't look interested in this designation. Despite their closeness the marauders had always skirted around the word when Sirius was around. Now that someone from the outside had brought it up again James couldn't help the slightly warm feeling in his chest and the dopey smile creeping onto his face. Sirius shook the cloak at James, hoping he would take it. "Come on Padfoot, I've never had a brother before." James pleaded good-naturedly.

Sirius sighed and dropped his outstretched arm. "You know" Sirius began thinking about the word a little more, and his conversation with James earlier that night, "neither have I." He looked up at James expecting a smile but doubled over in heartfelt laughter at the wide grin stretching from ear to ear on the other boy's face. "You're pathetic Prongs." He laughed now feeling a quiet comfort about the idea of having a brother who would always have his back.

"And you're a dope." James retorted and then with a bored sobriety added, "Let's go babysit a house…" He reached out for his invisibility cloak and Sirius chucked it at him before they both disapparated.


	16. Chapter 16: Dining Out

**CHAPTER: Dining Out**

"Today's not our anniversary." Lily explained with a curt laugh. She had entered her apartment to an odd sight of James Potter in his finest dress robes waiting for her arrival. Sirius wasn't far behind looking rather pleased with himself.

"What?" James responded, annoyed, for he had memorized the date. He had made sure he knew it so that Lily would never have to be disappointed that he had forgotten. Also because he had been so delighted by the prospect that he had memorized the day it would happen.

"No, it's a week from now remember?"

"No. I distinctly remember asking you out and setting the date for October 30th. Halloween Hogsmeade weekend. We went to Madam Puddyfoot's." James explained.

"No we went the weekend after, when I thought you had gotten permission from McGonagall, but you hadn't" Lily disagreed.

"Well, we kind of did."

"Oh don't 'kind of' me James, I got a detention for that date."

"But it was a good date, you have to admit." Sirius cut into their argument. He had clearly had a hand in this, Lily realized, and had planted himself at the kitchen table to watch his friend successfully surprise Lily with an anniversary dinner.

"And it was on the 30th." James added.

"No. You backed out of our October 30th date because Sirius got his head caught in the mouth of a carnivorous plant and you decided holding his hand was more important than Madam Puddyfoot's." Lily mocked. James and Sirius shared a confused look, then both snapped their attention back to Lily as she continued, "Seriously, I remember the next Monday in class. Sirius had a nasty cut on his head." Lily said, pointing to her forehead in the exact location where Sirius still had a short jagged scar, just under his hairline. "All the girls thought you had fought a vampire or something equally glamorous." She finished in a mocking airy voice.

"Oh!" Sirius and James realized simultaneously.

"Shoot." James added.

Lily looked at both of them, wondering if she had won the argument. "I have really nice reservations at the restaurant." James finally said, trying to win Lily back over with a charming smile.

"What?" Lily asked slowly. She was starting to wonder what unspoken conversation was passing between the others.

"Moony." Sirius decided to say pushing his hair back and pointing to the scar on his head. Lily may have witnessed Remus sick and injured stumbling back into the house after a full moon, but they hadn't quite admitted the damage he sometimes did to them.

"Remus?" Lily asked her eyes pinging between them both.

"Yeah, sometimes we get our cover stories a little confused. There are a lot of them." James said. "I missed the date because Remus had almost offed himself and Sirius's head wouldn't stop bleeding."

" _Worst. Moon. Ever._ I think it was because _someone_ was too busy staring at the stars and imagining snogging their date to help." Sirius accused.

"Wasn't my fault..." James started but Sirius held up his thumb and pointer finger, slightly apart, indicating it was a little his fault.

"Wait you missed our first date because of the full moon?" Lily clarified.

James nodded. "Sorry Lils." James said stuffing his hands into his pockets and waiting for the argument to continue.

To James's surprise Lily almost sang, "That's so sweet."

"Oh sure it's sweet when it's Moony, but god forbid James ducks out of a date because I'm bleeding." Sirius whined.

"That's because you're annoying." Lily reminded with a smile. She then stood up on her toes to peck James on the lips. "I'm a little gross." She motioned to her dirty work clothes. "I wasn't expecting this. Let me clean up real quick and we'll go."

"Of course" James agreed kissing her back, bewildered, before she slipped back to her bedroom.

"Does this mean the 30th is our anniversary?" James thought to call after her.

"Still the sixth of November." She countered.

"We're never going to remember that." Sirius noted, and James nodded sadly in agreement.

* * *

The auror's jaw had actually dropped. That's what the Prewetts told James and Sirius about the papers they had stolen. Alastor Moody had brushed aside James and Sirius's involvement with less than a wave and continued to shuffle through them shocked and impressed. He announced the finding at the next Order meeting and they had been discussing little else since, piecing together what the lists of names and maps of buildings meant. There were spells and potions ingredients listed, but the most important piece was the code name for the target. It took the Order less than a week to decide that the Death Eaters were going for the Ministry and the Minister of Magic at that. There was general tension in the air at every meeting now, a frantic uncertainty about what should be done. No dates were given, no exact plan, only the knowledge that Voldemort believed he now had the power to take down the strongest, if not the only wall between him and total pureblood control.

Despite the urgency this latest meeting was ending with no further decision. The Order talked themselves out again, ended up speaking in circles and decided that, once again, they should divvy up the duties calendar and hope for more information to come.

Moody leaned heavily on the center table his cut and scarred hands balled into fists as he read down the list of shifts for the week. James and Sirius would be working together on tracking down and trailing a few objects that had gone missing in Austria and they feared would soon show up on the boarder. Peter volunteered for a night of basic stakeouts with a recently recovered Benjy but before Remus could fill his evenings that wouldn't be taken up with trainings Moody stopped him, "Remus you're going north with me this week. Frank and Alice will be covering my training sessions."

Remus glanced nervously at the others seated at the table, but they appeared more jealous of this sudden turn of events than worried. They had calculated. They all had Tuesday night off. Lily had made extra polyjuice potion so someone could take over his work Tuesday and Wednesday. They seemed to be more interested in the meeting ending than counting days until the next full moon though. Maybe Moody had overlooked something. He wasn't as used to checking lunar calendars as Remus, maybe he should remind him.

Without letting Lily sign up for any daytime duties Moody called the meeting to a close and walked back to his seat and sat down heavily. Remus rose slowly to his feet as several of the busier members of the order disappeared out the warehouse door. Some lingered, began conversations. Sirius shot off to talk the Prewetts into going out for drinks and James was dragged to the side by Edgar who was asking for help ridding his garden of a few pests. Remus, followed tightly by Lily walked over to where Moody had just stood from his seat to whisper in undertones to Eliphias. It took him only a few seconds to finish the conversation and turn to Remus. "I'm well aware about Tuesday night, Lupin." He grumbled before Remus could even say a word.

"Sir?"

"I didn't think you would appreciate me explaining to the whole Order that you and I are going north to spy on a werewolf pack." He said just loud enough for Remus to hear.

Remus's heart stopped. "I have work." He stated on autopilot.

"Lily will be covering it." Moody countered, and next to Remus, Lily raised an eyebrow.

"That's what I was making all that Polyjuice potion for?" She asked, a little surprised.

"Half of it." Moody responded. "There are plans for the other half." Lily shot Remus a look, both wondering what she was to do with the extra caldron full of Polyjuice potion in her cabinet if the first would be going to covering Remus's shifts at the bookstore. "Though I think you'd be better off fighting full time, Lupin, you could be incredibly helpful." Moody said looking Remus in the eye suddenly. Remus didn't feel any desire to agree with Moody. He felt that full time work had always and would always mean spying on werewolves. Was that why they had agreed to let him in in the first place? Was it the only reason Moody was keeping him around, acting impressed and interested in him? A flair of annoyance rose in him, and he briefly considered refusing to go, but they had all heard the news, the stirrings that werewolves were switching to Voldemort's side quickly. Rumors that Voldemort was now using them as an intimidation tactic. Instead of refusing he broke eye contact with the auror and nodded. There was no denying how important this could be, no matter how many terrible rumors he had heard about wild werewolf packs.

"I'll come get you tomorrow morning. That will give you a few days with the pack before the full moon, and a day or two afterward. Gather as much intel as you can while there, but don't make enemies, chances are you'll be going back." Moody instructed punctuating their conversation and walking away calling for Dedalus's attention.

Remus stood dumbstruck next to the table until his mouth caught up with his brain. "Shoot." he whispered under his breath at the auror's back. Lily stepped up next to him looking almost equally surprised at the turn of events.

"Three Broomsticks! First round's on me!" Sirius called to them from across the room. James and Peter were next to him looking eager. Remus ran a hand through his hair and waved them off. Lily did likewise. James shot them an odd look but Lily returned a smile that said all would be well and a moment later he left the warehouse an arm around Sirius's shoulder singing along to a quidditch chant.

Lily and Remus went back to the apartment together. Remus immediately walked to the bookshelf and flicked a few volumes off the shelf including Sirius's stolen dark creatures book with the scribbles on every page relating to werewolves. Lily went straight to the kitchen and put the kettle on to steam. There was little in the cabinets by they way of snacks, but she checked each of them three more times from nerves before the kettle began whistling. She found two mugs, filled them to the top with tea, added sugar and wandered back into the living room. Remus was cross-legged on the floor next to the coffee table where he had stacked anything that might be remotely relevant to feral werewolves.

"I just thought-" Remus began as Lily plopped down next to him and held out a mug, careful to make sure he gripped the handle. "I dunno. I didn't think it would come up in this way. Or this soon…" Remus finished with a loud sigh before glancing at Lily. She shrugged apologetically.

"You-Know-Who _has_ been recruiting from the werewolves for years though. The more we know, the better." She tried to console. His head dropped hopelessly backward onto the couch.

He rubbed his eyes and admitted a little obviously, "I'm really not looking forward to spending a full moon with them."

"I wouldn't want to." Lily agreed and to this Remus laughed bleakly.

After a brief pause where Lily flicked at the cover of a pamphlet from the Beings Division Remus said "I'll have to remind the rest of them. They didn't seem too worried about me wandering off next week."  
"Jealous more like." Lily noted. "James would give his arm to go on a week-long mission with Moody."

"If James would give his arm, Sirius would give both his legs." Remus smirked.

"Bleh. So tomorrow morning?" Lily checked. Remus nodded soberly. "Well at least it will be helpful to the Order." Remus jerked his head in silent agreement and flipped to another page in his book.

The door to the apartment was slammed open an hour later, "We got kicked out!" Sirius slurred, an arm slung over James's shoulder and a black eye beginning to show behind his tumbling hair. James was smiling deliriously next to him and in the background Peter was following, his mouth still a little slack from awe.

"And why's that?" Lily asked trying not to sound amused.

"A Fuc-" Sirius stopped himself at the look on Remus's face. "An expletive was calling some people mud-" He stopped himself again before repeating the slur "Muggle-borns, but he used the mean word, and then saying they should be- what's the word James?"

"Genocided" James slurred.

"Yeah, Genevieve, Geno, Genosidled." Sirius agreed. "So I punched him! And James. James-"

"Stunned them!" James cheered letting go of Sirius long enough that they both stumbled in opposite directions, unable to hold themselves up alone. As they fumbled into their respective nearest pieces of furniture Lily and Remus shared an unimpressed glance.

"I guess you get to explain the situation to them tomorrow morning?" Remus asked dryly.

"Yeah. I'll tell them after they've dried up some." The pair watched as Sirius and James half crawled to the kitchen and began rummaging for snacks. Peter smirked at Lily and Remus then followed the others for damage control purposes.

* * *

Moody showed up early the next morning. The sun hadn't yet risen and Remus was still chewing through toast when he rapped at the door. Remus answered and Sirius, still asleep on the couch, groaned. "Morning Moody." Remus said ushering the Auror into the apartment and finishing off his breakfast. "Would you like some tea?" Moody looked at Remus as if he had just offered him a pet blast-ended skrewt.

"You're going to hide among a messy bunch of werewolves for five days and you're asking me if I want tea?" The auror grumbled. Remus rolled his eyes. "Go put on something you can get dirty in." Moody instructed glaring pointedly at Remus's attire. What he was wearing wasn't special, an old Hogwarts shirt and cloak. "Nothing with Hogwarts on it, as far as these people will know, you were raised without magic." Remus looked up, startled; dressing down was one thing, not using magic was quite another. "Hurry up, we don't have all day." Remus worried about the magic comment but stumbled off to his room to change.

Lily stepped out of the kitchen and eyed the auror. "You're gonna keep an eye on him?" She asked evenly. Moody nodded and placed his hands on his hips. Lily's eyes turned to appraising slits. They stayed like that for a moment until Moody broke the silence.

"You know how the Polyjuice potion works?" He double-checked. Lily nodded.

"Remus let me cut off some of his hair this morning, so I'll be covering his shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday, will he be back-"

"By Thursday." Moody confirmed. Lily nodded. Remus clomped back out of his room wearing a t-shirt, ancient tattered jeans and the cloak he wore for most full moons, brown and littered with holes and stains of every color and variety.

"That's better." Moody approved while Remus crinkled his face in annoyance. "I'll be needing your wand at some point." He added holding out his hand. Remus had considered several circumstances, had gone through all the horrible possibilities for this mission, but the thought of giving up his wand had never crossed his mind. He blinked over his shoulder as if expecting James to come to his defense, or Sirius to toss a hex at the absurdity of the suggestion, but the only thing to happen was Sirius snorting and rolling over in his sleep. "You're going to have to hand it over eventually, most werewolves don't get to have a wand or magic, and we don't need you to be standing out."

"I'll keep it hidden." Remus responded venomously, surprised that Moody thought he would be flaunting his magic.

"Didn't you read anything I gave you? Werewolves don't do personal property, what you have could just as easily be theirs. Unless you're planning to stay awake for the next five days to watch yourself, you'll hand over your wand." Moody said without a hint of suggestion. Remus stuttered for a moment but slowly slipped his wand out of the sleeve where he kept it sheathed. He briefly wondered if he should leave it with Lily instead, but he knew Moody was going with him. If something went sideways the auror would be the first on the scene, and he would want his wand with him.

Remus held it tightly in his hand, feeling the smooth warm cypress wood, the calming magic radiating out of it. He rubbed it between his thumb and finger as he slowly placed it in Moody's outstretched hand. He suspected it would be safe there, but he couldn't help but gasp slightly as he released it into the strange hand. Moody pulled his hand away before Remus could re-snatch the extension of himself he had just given up. He watched, almost shaking as the Auror pocketed it.

"We'll leave from out front." Moody directed breaking Remus out of his concentrated panic. "Lily." He added as a farewell. She was leaning against the counter separating the living room from the kitchen, and watching the exchange closely. The werewolf nodded at Moody's instructions and began to follow him out the door. He briefly glanced behind him to the apartment and Lily whose green eyes betrayed her worry, but he didn't stop or change his mind.

Lily turned back into the kitchen with a deep breath as the door snapped shut.

Remus glared into the cold grey morning. "Meet in the forest by the knotted Poplar", he mumbled to himself in a mock of Moody's voice, "just as the sun is rising". The auror was at least an hour late. Remus let out a puff of visible air. As much as he hated to admit it, at least with the pack there was a fire, and liquid that would pass as tea in a pinch. He stuffed his hands angrily into his pockets and tried to sniff away an oncoming cold.

There was a sudden loud crack behind him that sent several birds flapping away, and although it had been five days Remus still reached into his sleeve for a wand that wasn't there. Moody stood a few paces away eyeing him as usual. Remus reached out for his wand with frozen fingers. Moody continued to stare for a few moments then reached into a deep pocket inside his cloak and handed the wand over. There was nothing as sweet as having you wand returned, unharmed. Remus felt the power flood back through him, a small warmth in the cold morning. He flicked the wand around in front of his eyes checking for any damage, but knowing there would be none.

"Come along, I'll take you to breakfast in town." Moody said turning to go, "and hurry, my eye's about to freeze in its socket."

"Can't we apparate?" Remus asked through chapped lips, catching up with the auror.

"I can." Moody grumbled looking to his side where Remus limped, tired and cold. The boy gave the auror a focused stare as they reached the edge of the trees.

"We can apparate to the edge of town. It's mostly a wizarding town but there are quite a few muggles in the area. They leave well enough alone, and don't seem to notice us, but no need to be scaring them." Moody finally conceded with a nod. He pointed down about five miles away to a small quiet town. "Apparate behind the church, there's a small wooded area." Remus nodded and before the auror could give any more instructions Remus was gone. Moody followed with a questioning, "hmf?"

Moody met Remus on the road next to the church. He didn't say a word as he led the boy down a cobbled street to a small homey pub. It was a welcoming light brown building with a patio that suggested outdoor dining when there was nicer weather. A sign in the window showed that day's specials. Remus's stomach gnawed at him greedily.

The wooden door opened into a toasty dining area that smelled of freshly baked bread and warm ale. The room was scattered with families and individuals chatting over plates of food. Remus eyed a plate of sausage and eggs as a curly haired waiter carried it by and into an adjoining room. He barely had time to see where she was headed before a large balding man in an apron stepped out from behind swinging doors across the room and called out angrily to them.

"NO!, Get out. Don't serve his kind in here. Out!" Remus jerked his glance up. His heart temporarily stopped. Years with the marauders made him forget what this felt like. He reflexively started to turn toward the door, anything to get out of the situation, but Moody grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back toward himself.

"He's with me, and we'll be seated."

"Fat chance of that, I don't want him and his kind thinking they can wander around this town or be near my establishment." Moody didn't move. The other diners were beginning to look in their direction. The quiet clattering of silverware was stopping. Remus could feel heat rising onto his cheeks.

"He can _wander_ wherever he damn well pleases. We'll take a booth if there are no tables available."

"Out!" The man continued, looking uncomfortable about Moody not taking his meaning right off. He was a large man with a round belly and strong arms. He looked large enough that he probably didn't often need to state something more than once, especially if his main opponents were emaciated werewolves.

"How do you feel about a booth?" Moody asked Remus, eyeing a table by the front windows.

Remus merely "uhhhed" with a dry mouth, trying to remember if the manager had legal rights to refuse service to him. He knew he was with an auror, but no part of him wanted to be booked and processed for eating breakfast, no matter how hungry he was.

"I'm calling the werewolf capture unit!" The cook threatened.

"I'm above them." Moody cut him off, finally loosing his desire to argue. "As an auror I demand you seat me and my guest or I'll be the one doing the arresting." The cook did not seem pleased by this turn of events. He huffed and snapped at one of his waitresses to come over. He talked with her for a moment then looked up. "You can have a seat on the patio." He agreed, "Tina will set it up for you." He looked smug as if he had won somehow. Remus groaned inwardly at the thought of having to sit in the cold any longer. He glanced to the window where frost was still clinging to the edges of the panes. His knuckles were already bleeding from the cracked and dry skin, and in the warmth of the building he was just beginning to feel his fingers again. He didn't make his feelings noticeable, but under the fear he was almost pleased when Moody began to drag him further into the restaurant.

"Care to join me at a booth?" Moody asked striding confidently over to the table he had gestured at earlier. Remus felt torn for just a moment, but a wave of tired hungriness overcame him. Some primitive aspect of him took over and with the safety of having Moody with him he decided breakfast and warmth overruled his fear of being arrested. He heard the cook swear as he sat down facing the front door. Moody picked up a menu and smirked, "This is fun." Remus stared, horrified at the auror who handed him the second menu. Remus looked to his left, a few diners were beginning to get up and leave. Remus leaned across the table.

"People are leaving." he whispered.

"Hm… strange. I don't think they would have done that if the cook had just let us sit down. He had to bring up the werewolf thing though." Moody sighed, still reading the menu.

A family of four eyed him nervously as the parents shuttled their young daughters out the front door and into the cold.

"What are you getting?" Moody asked almost conversationally.

"What?"

"Food." Moody reminded reaching across the table and pointing at the menu. Remus blinked himself out of a trance and looked down. The paper menu was covered in different food options, but his brain was moving too quickly to read anything. It didn't matter, seconds later a nervous and annoyed waiter stumbled over to their table as the cook watched from the kitchen doors. She glanced at him pleadingly one more time before turning her attention, grudgingly, to the table. "Get me a tea, will you lassy?" Moody told the girl who nodded but didn't seem to know if she should look in Remus's direction or not.

Remus finally said, "I'll have a tea as well." The girl squeaked a little, nodded nervously at Moody and slipped away as quickly as possible. Moody eyed her with his magical eye as she disappeared into the back.

"You're right this is fun." Remus said sarcastically as he looked back down at his menu. He was ravenously hungry, but he didn't have a coin in his pocket with which to pay for any meal. He suspected Moody knew as much, but didn't want to rely on his cranky trainer for food. A toast and jam combo was listed at the bottom of the page. It was cheap and would last him until he got home. Maybe he could even talk Peter or Lily into cooking him something edible.

"What are you getting?" Moody asked again, "In case I have to translate for the squeaking kitchen girl."

"Um . . .toast looks fine." Remus responded uncomfortably. Moody stared at him, his spinning eye even stopping briefly. Remus's level of discomfort rose a few more notches.

"They feed you anything but boiled shoes up there?" Moody asked cynically. Remus stared at the auror. "Get real food." He instructed when it became clear Remus wasn't responding the way he had anticipated.

"I don't have any money on me." Remus explained back at the auror. Occasionally James and Sirius would forget what it meant to not be swimming in money all the time. He wasn't unaccustomed to others bewilderment at his lack of funds, but it still wasn't his favorite conversation.

"You think I'm taking you out for breakfast and making you pay." Moody scoffed. "Hell boy, you're brains are more shaken than I expected. Order something real." He repeated pointing to the side of the menu where the heartier foods were listed. Remus shut his slightly agape mouth and nodded. The thought of real food was suddenly overwhelming his senses and his decision became significantly more difficult. His mouth was watering with anticipation for every meal his eyes passed. He was halfway down the page when the waitress snuck back over to the table. With shaking hands that caused the ceramic cups to clink noisily on their saucers she set two steaming cups of tea in front of them.

"Can. . Can I get you, food? I mean, um, what can I get you?" She fumbled out, looking directly at Moody's chest where she could see neither the auror's or the werewolf's scars.

"I'll have the Sunrise breakfast plate-" Moody said pointing at the meal then handing the menu roughly back to the girl.

Remus reached out and wrapped his hand around the warmth of the tea and brought it to his face, the wonderful smell was almost enough to make him woozy. When the girl resolutely didn't look at him or ask him for his order he made a snap decision about his breakfast, "I'll have the same." He let go of the tea for a moment and held up the menu with a decided smile. Her eyes grew wide now that she was looking at him, "Please" he added. She slowly took the menu from him, as if he would lunge at her any moment, then once again darted for the back room. Remus turned back to his cup of tea and breathed in the aroma. "Merlin, civilization!" He whispered into the mug. Moody harrumphed at him before taking his own cup in his hand.

"I'm glad to see you're alive." Moody noted. Remus sipped his tea. It was still too hot, and his tongue burnt a bit on contact, but he didn't much care. He shook his head at the auror.

"It wasn't horrible." He said working on the brave face he planned to put on for the rest of the marauders. In truth the wolf had missed Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail, and he was not better off for it. On the other hand he had notebooks of information for the Order. Moody nodded, and Remus suspected he knew he was lying. "I'll do it again, when the time comes." Remus continued, trying hard to convince Moody, and possibly himself.

"That attitude will do you good, boy."

They sat in silence, Moody looking around at every nook and cranny in the place as it slowly emptied of people. Remus slowly warmed his face on the steam from his tea, almost falling asleep in it until it was warm enough to drink.

The young girl must have been too petrified by his politeness earlier to return because their food was brought out by the cook who put the plates before them with the scathing glare of a man who was plotting their execution for later that day. Eggs bounced off Remus's plate as the dish hit the table with angry gusto. He smirked, then looked up and smiled his most polite smile. "Thank you, sir." He said, expecting that would be the worst phrase possible. The cook stormed off and Moody let out a gruff laugh in appreciation.

"You're catching on."

Remus didn't bother to reply. The food, despite being haphazardly presented, looked and smelled rich and delicious. He reached for his silverware, trying to convince himself that he would have to eat in a civilized manner if this escapade were to be successful. Wolfing out and eating everything in front of him in ten seconds like his stomach and brain were telling him to do would do him no favors. He unwrapped his silverware from his napkin like his mother had taught him and placed the napkin on his lap, still trying not to dive into his breakfast. Moody pulled his fork from his folded napkin, propped his elbows onto the table and forked a large amount of egg into his mouth.

"There is nothing like proving their point." Remus said nodding to Moody's elbows. His mother had taught him to leave his elbows off the table when eating in a restaurant and hi intended to look presentable.

"Their point is not _my_ problem." Moody grumbled. Remus carefully forked his eggs and held it in front of his mouth.

"You wouldn't happen to have a bezoar on you?" He asked, last minute. The aroma of food was taunting his nostrils.

"Firstly I watched him make our food and secondly I'd kill him before you dropped. He wouldn't dare." Moody growled as his magical eye settled on the kitchen door once more.

Remus gulped nervously and carefully took a bite. His self-control melted away instantly. "Merlin food! This's delicious." He exclaimed, losing himself and forking another, larger bite. Despite his best efforts he cleared half his plate before Moody had a chance to even butter his toast.

"I don't think I can eat anymore." He suddenly realized eyeing his half eaten meal. His stomach felt totally full, and he still had food to go.

"That happens when you don't eat for days." Moody explained knowingly. It didn't stop Remus from eyeing his eggs and sausage like a starved puppy.

"Don't worry about it." Moody said. "I got food in you. Now Evans won't try to hex me when I return you looking like this."

Remus's face twisted into a look of confusion "That's what this is about?"

"I've seen the food you lot bring to meetings. I wouldn't wish that on you, especially looking how you did an hour ago." Remus eyed his breakfast wishing he could eat more, but he felt sick from what he had already shoveled down. Moody had a point about the food at the apartment though. The gang had unapologetically brought undercooked canned soup and a bag of potato chips to the last Order workday and real food made a big difference on a day like this.

Remus waited and quietly finished his tea as Moody cleared his plate. The auror paid for the meal as Remus tried to pretend like he didn't hear the cost, as low as it actually was, and they left the now empty pub into the still crisp morning air. They walked back to the church and apparated back to Remus and Lily's apartment hallway.

Moody pinned Remus in place with a look before the younger wizard could turn to unlock the front door. "They were the tame ones." He said quietly. Remus gave him a quizzical look. "Tame for a werewolf pack." He clarified, equally quietly. Remus's face turned from quizzical to pitying to terrified within a few second. There were a quite a few words he would use to explain the last few days of his life, tame was not one of them. He wouldn't use "tame" to describe the squabbles over food, the fights, the jeers about his clean hands and neatly cut hair, the few ratty blankets the clan owned, the sickness and anger that pervaded every section of the camp.

"Tame." He finally croaked, knowing the man was giving him a hint about what was to come, what they might have to ask him to do. Remus nodded, accepting the truth.

"Make sure you put together a good report for tomorrow night's meeting. I know it's close timing and you have work tomorrow so you're excused from practice tonight." Moody began, then added with emphasis, "Which means don't show up! And if you see the others tell them to wear clothes they don't mind setting on fire, I understand you're already a skilled fire starter, so I thought this would be a good practice for you to miss."

"Report?" Remus asked.

"Dumbledore's eye's only, you'll be anonymous." Moody clarified.

"I'll do that." Remus held out a hand for Moody. "Thanks for breakfast." Moody grumbled, ignored his hand, looked him up and down then with a quick turn apparated away. "great." Remus said letting his hand drop. He breathed in heavily, suddenly very tired and feeling a headache rushing toward him like the Hogwarts express.

He turned and with a flick of his wand opened the door into his apartment, but before he could step in Sirius and James were upon him with questions.

"Where did you go?"

"What was it like?"

"Are they with Voldemort then?"

"Did Moody tell you any auror secrets?"

Remus held up a hand trying to stem the tide. "Whoa, back off." He insisted calmly. "I'm going to go shower, and shave, and then you can berate me with questions." Sirius and James looked miserable at this answer.

"Come on Moony, tell us something." Sirius insisted following Remus back to his room.

"I've eaten mostly broth for five days, I haven't seen a shower, blanket, or pain potion in equally as long, so I'm going to go enjoy at least two of those things, and then I'll think of telling you about it."

"Broth?" Sirius asked.

"Broth, Sirius, it's apparently what they eat when they want to make hot water taste less like hot water and more like boiled locker room." Remus said grabbing a towel and clean set of clothes. "Where's Lily?"

"Your Job." James said.

"Oh yeah." Remus remembered, "I owe her for that." He fought his way past Sirius and James and back into the hallway. "You can stop following me now, I'm going to shower." Remus reminded turning, holding his towel in up in a surrender pose and backing into the bathroom. The door clicked shut behind him and James and Sirius slouched down, defeated.

"Bugger."


	17. Chapter 17: Girl in the Shrieking Shack

_A/N- I guess I've been rude up till now in not saying thank you to everyone who's read or review or followed or liked this story. So a sincere thank you to you, but mostly I do hope I'm still guiltily entertaining you._

 _p.s._ \- _I had to get some information into this chapter and was struggling with it not sounding awful (in so many ways) so sorry it took so long to post and I hope it's not just bad._

 **Chapter 17: The Girl in the Shrieking Shack**

The winter sun seemed to give up early that night and darkness swept down Miller St and into Remus and Lily's full apartment. It was the kind of cold winter darkness that the group was trying to keep at bay with snacks, drinks and good cheer, and the hope that tomorrow would wait. All four marauders and Lily had a free night and had quickly transformed the living room table into a casino style poker table at Sirius's insistence. While he and James procured drinks Remus and Lily found snacks and Peter combed his home for stacks of cards of both the exploding and non-exploding variety.

James flicked a card onto the table still not sure he understood the rules of the game, and equally uncertain about Sirius's grasp on muggle poker. Thankfully he was more engaged with the conversation than the game and fell back on what he was trying to convince Lily of- that Moody didn't trust him, "I'm just annoyed, even after our win with the Prewetts he still won't let us do anything." He reiterated.

"Whining is not going to fix anything." Sirius replied, finally annoyed at James's choice of topic, he wanted to be having a fun night, not dwelling on work. "He let us out on watchman duty alone last night, so it could be worse."

"Yes but we discovered papers saying that they're after the Minister, and what do we get? Squat."

"Technically those papers didn't say that." Lily pointed out, playing a card with careful concentration.

"and technically we didn't find those papers." Sirius reminded handing Lily back her card, as if to say "you can't play that."

"But we kind of did." James countered as Remus's face turned from confused to annoyed at Sirius's apparent rule-change.

"And Moody is letting you out on your own almost all the time, so take what you can get." Lily reminded throwing out a card haphazardly. Sirius gave her a nod.

"I know, but it doesn't mean I don't want to be doing more!" James argued. He had leaned forward over the table to try and get the pair's attention away from the game, but it wasn't working. He waited and eventually Lily took the bait,

"I think Moody trusts you more than you think."

"If he did he would let us in on more information and more dangerous missions. I feel like we're on the outskirts of what's really going on and I hate it!" James blinked up at Sirius and was happy to see him nod in agreement, but his delight was tempered when Lily turned to half scowl at him.

"What? It's true." Sirius said in his defense. "Something's going down and what did he say when we asked?"

"'We'll tell you when it involves you.'" James quoted angrily.

"I don't know anything either, and I've been in the group since January. Almost a year." Lily reminded. Remus, who had been silently contemplating his cards and shooting Peter weary looks over a pile of snacks in the center of the table gave her a sidelong stare. "Don't look at me like that Rem! I actually don't-"

"Really?" Remus questioned. The pair gave each other testy stares and questioning eyebrow raises until Lily cracked a smile. "Bad liar." Remus teased remembering her deception about joining the Order.

"Eat food." Lily retorted pushing a bowl of food into his space.

"Lil, I'm eating! Moon's not till next week stop babying me." Lily ignored him and added a few crackers to the top of the bowl of chips.

"Lily, you actually got to fight a Death Eater last week." James cut into her fussing. Lily turned her attention back to James and reminded him again,

"Alice and Edgar fought the Death Eater, I was just there."

"Ah-ha, but you _were_ there." James said pointedly, leaning further into the table. Now that they were terribly sidetracked Peter used the moment to lean over to look at James's hand. He tried to mouth something to Remus but it didn't get across. Instead Lily glared at the werewolf and he innocently picked up a handful of chips to placate her. "And don't you start Moony, you got to go north with Mad-Eye, you probably know all the Order secrets!" James added pointing at him accusingly. Remus raised his hands at the onslaught of accusations as Lily cut in,

"Anyway Edgar wouldn't have struck, but the idiot called Alice a you-know-what and he's a loyal little Hufflepuff so.. . " Lily trailed off, letting them fill in the story that ended with a Death Eater in Azkaban. Sirius looked pensive for moment then suddenly asked,

"So which one's worse?" He finished his turn, ending that round and began to gather the cards. Lily handed her stack over and raised an eyebrow. "I mean the m-word or you know, crier?" Sirius asked nonchalantly but just quiet enough to seem respectful. Peter's eyes grew wide and Remus fumbled the stack of chips in his hands, shocked. James's jaw dropped in horror.

"Sirius you can't just ask-" Peter started but couldn't figure out how to finish.

"I can." Sirius replied in goofy indignation while Remus silently counted the number of empty bottles tumbling around Sirius's feet. "In third year I asked Remus whether being called wolf or a lyche was worse and he answered." Sirius continued with slurred bravado handing Lily the deck of cards to deal.

"Yeah but he popped you one first." James replied from behind his own drink. Sirius turned to Lily who, instead of looking angered, was staring, a bit bemused.

He leaned up closer and asked, "You're not gonna pop me are you Lily?"

"I might." She answered slowly watching him as if looking for any bad intention. Sirius sat back in his chair but the pair didn't stop looking at one another. Lily's bemusement turned to a serious ponder as she began to quietly shuffle the deck. She could almost feel James's pressing concern at the turn of the conversation, but she didn't want defended or helped. She was ready to take Sirius's question with levity if he had good reason to ask it. "Why do you want to know?" She finally queried. Sirius blinked slowly once before turning back to the table.

"It's just nice to know, you know." He started noncommittally, then turned back to face her, and to everyone's surprise his seriousness matched hers. "I got called blood traitor and scum and the worst of it at home, but that was always a badge of honor to me. Proof I wasn't one of them. I don't know what being actually yelled at for who I am feels like, not really. So these two terrible names are flung at you with all seriousness by people who want to kill you. People we're fighting. I want to know if it hurts, or if it's a badge of honor, and I want to think of that every time I send on of those sons-of-bitches to Azkaban. I'm kind of an outsider when it comes to muggle-borns and you're almost my sister-in-law after all. I need to be properly pissed off."

Lily took in his answer, surprised at the honesty of it. The others must have been as well because they were suddenly too quiet, waiting to see what would happen next. "Well then, I dunno." she said thoughtfully. She wasn't sure how she felt about Sirius's inquiry. Perhaps the other boy was drunk, perhaps he was just being rough and rude, but she couldn't deny him his question, because at least he was trying. Unlike so many other pure-bloods who were determined to make her life hell he was, at least, in his own way, trying to get on her level. She continued shuffling the cards between thin fingers as Sirius watched. "The m-word is kind of big, you know and very rooted in your culture. It means so many things, but when people call me a" Lily got quiet. "I mean a _crier_ " The word seemed to shudder in the air as she tried to shrug its heavy meaning off. "I know it's a silly Hogwarts term but I feel like it's more personal, like the person saying it revels in muggles dying and that hurts worse, I guess. It hurts that someone could enjoy inflicting pain."

Sirius nodded thoughtfully, and sat quietly for longer than Lily thought possible for the boy. The silence was weighing on the table when he finally took a sip of his beer and let his face crack into a classic marauder grin. "You do cry a lot though." He half laughed, quickly breaking whatever moment they were having. James's jaw dropped and Lily's fist shot out to punch him in the side, followed quickly by a smack to the back of the head by Remus.

"Don't be dumb." Lily chided, but something was dancing behind his eyes and to everyone's surprise she broke into a quiet laughter. "It is awful though. You know Fanny Flinn, in third year, her parakeet died, and I cried through transfigurations. I thought McGonagall was going to kill me." Lily smirked at Sirius and took a sip of her own butterbeer. The table relaxed slowly as Lily began to deal out cards.

James's eyes met her in gratitude as she placed a card before him. He knew she had a tense relationship with Sirius. He hadn't grown in the same ways James had over the past year and he knew Lily struggled with his carelessness and bravado. He often worried that his best friend and the love of his life would always repel one another, but it was the small moments of forced bridge building that made the tension in his chest ease. Lily quietly moved on with her dealing and Sirius grinned at her as she placed a card in front of him. "What?"

"What?" Sirius returned.

"You're grinning."

"I'm just thinking that if I die at least someone will cry at my funeral." He said delightedly. Remus groaned.

"Oh I wouldn't go that far." Lily quipped back instead of arguing. Sirius put his hand over his heart as if shot and faked death upon the table.

"Oh Sirius don't feel bad. I'll cry." James comforted getting up from the table to grab another round of beers from the kitchen. Now that they were playing around he felt safe to leave the room.

"I mean he'll also be drinking a lot." Remus added, picking up his own stack of cards, deciding that if Lily wasn't gong to fight, he wasn't. "And so it will probably just be the extra alcohol leaking out."

"but it's the thought that counts." James said popping lids off two bottles and raising one in an imaginary toast to his friend.

"I don't think that's how the human body works." Peter ventured.

"Shut up Wormtail! Prongs and I are having a moment." Sirius grumbled peeling his face off the table, a queen of hearts sticking to his face.

Lily plucked the card off his head, "Your lack of a poker face isn't going to be what ruins you this time." She noted and dropped it in front of him before pushing the bowl of food to Remus again.

"Eat." The moon was coming up quicker than they would have liked and none of them wanted to take chances. Remus grumbled and picked up a handful of chips and put the bowl back in the center of the table. "When are we doing Christmas shopping" Lily asked turning to James, and trying to change the subject.

"Tonight's my last night off until Christmas eve." James replied thinking over his schedule.

Lily frowned, "We'll find time sometime. Remus and I were going to get a tree this weekend, if anyone else wanted to come." She smiled warmly letting as the night began to pass along in a lull once more.

* * *

Remus cursed as they sat him up, but they were nonetheless thankful that he was awake and looked better then he had in October. There was color on his face, and he wasn't bleeding profusely from anywhere but a small scratch on his leg. Sirius draped a tattered cloak around his bare shoulders to ward off the drafty December air creeping in through the thin walls. Remus tried half-heartedly to thank him but found his mouth tangled with exhaustion. Sirius didn't need to hear the words, he squeezed Remus's shoulder as he sat himself cross-legged in front of him.

They were waiting for Peter who was busy trying to find a pain potion in the bag they had stashed in the hall closet. James was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, glancing every few second up at the ceiling. He was anxious and even through the thin slip of vision Remus had through the slits of his eyelids he could tell. With a shaking hand he pointed past Sirius and the other boy didn't need to check over his shoulder to decipher his friends message. "Dunno what's on his mind." He lied, suspecting James was thinking about the trap door, because he was thinking about it too. Sirius waited until he heard Peter shut the closet door before asking, "You alright then?" Remus gave him one thumb-up and shut his eyes the rest of the way. He let his head drop onto the ratty couch behind him while Sirius bounced to his feet and crossed the room to James in less than tree strides.

"Something was off last night." Sirius whispered closing the gap between them and finding himself certain that James was thinking of rushing upstairs to the attic.

"I-"

"Heard something." They finished together. They shared a look.

"We have to go." Sirius decided. Peter had returned to the room and was watching as Remus put back a whole vile of pain potion. "No wonder that kid can do shots like no on else." Sirius mumbled, thinking about the vile flavor of the electric blue potion. James shot the pair one last look and stepped toward the stairs "I'm going up, I'll be back soon. Stay behind, but not too close. Just in case."

They both crept up the stairs and stopped beneath where they had blasted a doorway months before. James mumbled a spell to uncover the edges and they listened there for a moment. Without his dog hearing Sirius couldn't hear a thing. He shrugged when James looked over his shoulder at his friend. "I'm going up, check on the other two." He whispered and pressed lightly against the trapdoor. To his irritation it was very much sealed shut. Sirius slipped back down the hall as James reached into an inner pocket of his cloak. Within the folds he found the small red pen knife the Bones had given him months before. The night before something in him had suspected he would need it for this reason and almost without thinking he had brought it. He wiggled it into one of the visible cracks and whatever charm was holding the hole shut broke. James hurriedly pulled himself through and unfolded himself into a defensive position in case someone was there. The space was still very dark, even with the grey morning outside. James's eyes refocused as he peered around. The cauldron was still there, but this time it was surrounded by bags and bowls of ingredients and thin white sticks of chalk.

"There's a werewolf down there." The voice found him before he found the source. It sounded familiar, lilting in a very specific way. James looked up trying to focus and his eyes caught unexpectedly on a figure cloaked in blue, pressed hard against the slanting back wall of the attic. She was shaking hard and holding tight to her thin wand.

"Kitty, what are you doing here?" He couldn't help but ask as soon as he realized who it was. Her vision shot to the potions in the middle of the room, but flicked back as if nervous James would discover her secret. She huddled further into the wall.

"What?" James mumbled stepping toward the cauldron. Sticks of pure white were lying in neat piles next to the cauldron on top of lined bags that looked similar to those they had stolen months before. Kitty whimpered nervously at his simple discovery. "Kitty what is this, what are you doing here?" He held tighter to his wand, nervously preparing himself for what he suspected was coming. When nothing did he slowly reached down for one of the thin sticks.

"Don't touch it!" Kitty screamed. James stopped mid reach.

"What is it?" He asked again.

Kitty didn't answer, her mouth tightening to a thin line. James reached for one of the bags realizing now that the thick layer of cloth on them was likely a protective layer, and carefully picked up one of the sticks between his fingers. He held it to his face to examine it.

"Acid chalk." He mumbled to himself, remembering the material from the long list of dark materials he had helped Lily and the Bones' compile months ago. Thoughts came crashing together. He slowly lifted his want to point at Kitty's nervous face. She stood in its path unmoving like the unicorn Sirius had stumbled into with a lit wand in third year.

"The thefts? The imports! This is illegal!" He stated clearly holding up the piece of chalk so Kitty could see it. He was remembering the odd brake-ins mentioned in the paper months before, the odd illegal French imports Peter was keeping track of with Mundungus.

"The Dark lord doesn't care." She whispered and suddenly James realized this went deeper than a few stolen books and a burnt building. James picked the rest of the chalk off the table with his bagged hand flipped it inside out so the pieces were inside it and closed it off. He stuffed the whole thing into his pocket while he held his wand at Kitty's chest making sure she didn't move.

James squatted once more and looked down through the hole. Sirius had returned and was looking up at him eager to join. Instead James signed for him to get Moony home.

"Wormy's got him." Sirius hissed quietly. "They're both back at his and Lily's". James glanced Kitty's way then reached down a hand and pulled Sirius up. At the addition Kitty backed further into the shadows, but didn't raise her wand to defend herself. Sirius caught sight of her silhouette and cursed under his breath. He sighed, "Can't say I'm surprised though."

They didn't need to curse or threaten her. It was still dark in the attic, for all Kitty knew there was still a ravenous wolf downstairs. James walked across the room and gripped her by the collar. "I think the wolf wants a snack." James said with certainty, walking her to the hole and cursing himself internally for using Remus this way, even if it was imaginary. "What were you going to do with this chalk?" He asked, holding her as close to the hole in the ground as possible. She pressed herself back into him, whimpering.

"Nothing." She screamed pushing back against him, flailing in fear.

"Really." He yanked her once more toward the hole. Her knees buckled in fear but he didn't let her fall.

"Azkaban!" she finally exclaimed with a terrified wail. James almost dropped her in shock but reaffirmed his grip at the last second. With the amount of chalk in his pocket she could have set free half the inmates in the infamous prison, assuming she could get to it and survive the dementors swarming the small icy island.

"Shit!" James looked at Sirius and he knew where they needed to be. With a nod he flung Kitty around himself and pointed his wand at her. He racked his brain for the only binding spell he knew, but Sirius was already on it and she was stunned before he could say a word. In the brief moment after Kitty was down James heard the trapdoor, floors below, creak open.

"I thought you said they left already?" James hissed.

"They did!" Sirius replied eyes widening in fear. "Maybe they forgot something." This was doubtful, as they never brought much, simply clothes and a few pain potions that were all stored together. Worry gripped them as it became clear that the footsteps belonged neither to Peter nor Remus. They had to get out. They had to warn the Order and get to Azkaban before Death Eaters swarmed in to free their criminals.

"Grab Kitty, I'll go see who it is." Sirius whispered shooting one last disgusted look over to the woman on the floor. James nodded and Sirius flung himself down to the lower level with surprising grace. The stairs were creaking now. The person beyond was getting closer so Sirius pressed himself against the wall as he slipped quietly down the hall.

"Kitty hurry up, they'll be there soon!"

Sirius's body froze in anger. He knew the voice. He knew it and he hated it. _Mulciber_. Having survived months seeing neither hide nor hair of the death eater Sirius felt a wave of excitement that this could be his chance to take the other man down.

He flicked a look over his shoulder. James was slipping silently through the hole in the ceiling levitating a limp Kitty in his wake. He let her fall quietly to a heap on the floor and turned his wand toward the end of the hall. Sirius could tell James had heard the voice and recognized its speaker; the menacing grin on his face gave him away as surely as his defensive stance. This time they had the element of surprise, the superior numbers, and no reason in the world to hold back. Sirius mirrored James's grin as he turned back to catch Mulciber at the corner.

The thin body of the once Slytherin, now Death Eater, appeared with a whip of a cloak around the corner. Sirius barely had the chance to savor the surprise in his eyes before his and James's spells flashed toward his chest sending him stumbling backward. He was throwing wild defensive spells, but it wasn't enough, James and Sirius were furiously attacking, stepping closer and closer and closer until Mulciber was pinned, panting against the wall barely two inches from stumbling down the stairs. His feet fumbled uncontrollably, lost to a jelly legs jinx, and his fine velvet cloak was ripped from the ground to his knee. He choked out a puff of pink smoke and looked up to find James's wand pressed to his neck, Sirius mere inches behind twin smiles glistening at him, hungry at the sight of their catch.

Sirius had to admit he felt disappointed. He hoped fighting Mulciber would involve more of a bang, and certainly more screaming on the Slytherin's part, but a win was a win, and this one was a stomping. They could add him to the "future prisoner pile" with Kitty and get going.

James finally felt calm and clear. Mulciber _had_ been behind the potion brewing going on in the Shack's attic. It was obvious now that the Slytherin's were using the space for potion brewing, and Kitty must have been a pawn of his.

He looked up from the wand positioned on his neck and breathed out. In the short time since graduation something aged had appeared behind Mulciber's eyes, despite the youthfulness of his cream skin and full hair. At barely nineteen he looked like he had seen too much, and now two dead grey eyes were staring at James, but they weren't angry, or afraid, or for that matter even surprised. James's stomach lurched nervously, in a tired way Mulciber's eyes still looked determined, undefeated. What was up his sleave? James pulled his wand back to stun, fear suddenly gripping him, but he wasn't fast enough, Mulciber's hand had already shot up to his mouth and in one swift movement he puffed out a handful of glittering green dust that engulfed James in a dry fog.

He tried to send out a spell but his voice felt heavy? James was beginning to wonder if a voice could feel heavy when a strong yank pulled him forward and onto his knees. He blinked several times trying to sort out his surroundings, two pairs of feet were around him, the larger pair connected to a man who was loudly cursing.

Sirius stumbled back the second he saw Mulciber's arm move. He shuffled back into a defensive stance and without thinking cast the only physically shielding spell he could think of. The iridescent wall blocked the puff of green dust reaching him before dissolving away but James was already succumbing to its numbing effects. Sirius gave himself a moment to feel relieved at the sparkle in the air, there were dark powders in the world, but from years of living at Grimwald place he knew that the least of these powders glittered. Mulciber took no time into putting up a protective bubble and stepping around James who seemed to be moving out of sync with time, his movements labored and sluggish.

" _Stupefy_!" The battle picked up as quickly as it had slowed. Sirius shot a spell back at Mulciber with deftness he had gained from months of work with Moody. As Mulciber stepped so did he, before Mulciber could curse him he whipped out a jinx and a defensive spell, he shot stunners and petrifiers into every wall, returning fire with clarity and ample time to keep an eye on James's progress.

James had managed to turn on his knees. He was watching the duel with mounting frustration. He tried lifting his wand and was once again beaten to the punch by Sirius sending another stunning spell, this time to be deftly deflected. Slowly he fumbled to his feet slamming quickly after into the wall. His arm didn't seem to know that it should be up and actively trying to fight. He tried to shoot a disarming spell but the effects of the dust were weighing his tongue down and nothing happened. He took a labored step forward, his foot dragging on the ground as if a giant were hanging from it. Mulciber was desperately trying to get into the attic, searching, James assumed, for the chalk that he wouldn't find. Mulciber didn't know James had it stored in his pocket. James wanted to smirk, but his face was struggling with the same weight as his legs.

He forced his arm up bracing it against the wall he was still leaning heavily on and tried a stinging hex, a spell he could do without speaking. Without much ability to aim it shot wide but distracted Mulciber enough for Sirius to land a strong steaming spell onto Mulciber's clothes. Engulfing clouds of hot steam rose in plumes from his rich green robes as he dove to the side and up again closer to James than he felt comfortable.

Sirius continued his onslaught, his wand moving too quickly to follow. Mulciber was losing energy fast, and he could tell he was running out of time. James sent sparks at the floor near Mulciber, and felt the invisible weight he was carrying loosen some. He leaned away from the wall and took a steadying step, but despite his regained abilities he suspected couldn't deflect spells fast enough for a duel.

Sirius knew Mulciber's strategy, probably before the Death Eater figured it out himself. Thanks to his ground dive Mulciber was now closer to James than the attic door and Sirius watched as he slowly realized his ticket out. In one swift movement he disarmed James, slipped behind him to use him as a human shield and tightened his arm around his neck. James was several inches taller than Mulciber, but it didn't deter him as he pulled the unsteady Gryffindor back slightly and leaned around him to flash a cocky smile. Just as he suspected Sirius slowed his attack.

"Oh Sirius, with a wand pressed to James Potter's neck I think we all know how this ends." Mulciber hissed in self-congratulations over James's shoulder. James's face wrinkled in concentration, sure he was sluggish and wandless, but he knew with the right force he could escape this situation. He glanced at Sirius to try to reassure his friend that he was fine but at the look on Sirius's face he knew he didn't need to. Sirius's concentrated stare was one he only wore during the final moves of a chess match, after he had won, but before the other player had realized that they had backed themselves into a corner. He wore that look seconds before an uncontrollable grin would flash across his face and he would call the winning move.

Sirius struck out with whipping speed. The wand movement was complicated though the words he used were simple. Sparks of violet and red exploded from the tip of his wand with the sound of an explosion, searing the air as it hit James with a pounding force.

James looked immediately down, not sure what to expect but terrified to see the worst, and then Mulciber's arm released his neck and a heavy weight shook the floor. He reached a hand up to his sore but intact chest and looked down. Mulciber was lying in a stunned heap at his feet, and Sirius, a few feet away ginned with canine exuberance as he replied to Mulciber's taunt, "It ends with me and Remus reading every damn charm book in the library until we find the one that fixes the problem." He stepped up to them and used a foot to roll Mulciber onto his back. "Let's tie him up and get to Azkaban." He decided as he helped James extricate himself from the Slytherin's tumbled limbs.

"That powder packs a punch." He noted as he bent over to drag Mulciber to Kitty while James watched. "Regulus thought that stuff was fun for about a year when he was six. Dark stuff. He found it in a closet. I figured it was some potion solution that had dried up. Apparently not. . . My suggestion is to blow out when they do then just hold your breath."

"And your suggestion for after being hit with it?" James asked around a weighted tongue.

"walk it off?" Sirius tried, though he honestly didn't remember coming to a good solution at seven and he certainly didn't have one now. Sirius finished roping up the pair, handed James his wand and pocketed Mulciber's.

"Let's go then." James decided with as much urgency as he could muster.


	18. Chapter 18: Fortress Breach

_A/N - Wow- long wait. A lot has happened since my last update, we know Sirius's birthday! We know what happened to James's parents! I reread the Goblet of Fire and realized Mad-Eye should still have both his eyes at this point! Bummer, I love Mad-Eye's eye as much as I love Mad-Eye._ _L_

 _So I feel a need to apologize. I like to be vaguely cannon, but here I veer of completely. Azkaban was never been broken out of, not until Sirius. Azkaban was not a battle ground. Unfortunately I didn't realize this when I started writing. I tried to change the setting of this chapter, put it on foreign ground something, but everything came out sounding silly and forced, so I'm forging forward into non-cannon territory, but I hope it's enjoyable anyway. A story is to be enjoyed after all._

 **Chapter 18: Fortress Breach**

"Voldemort has a plan to release people from Azkaban, we need to get there now!" James was yelling as he pushed the door open onto Remus and Lily's apartment. He was no longer suffering the affects of Mulciber's dusty poison and hadn't been since he and Sirius had left the Shrieking Shack in a rush. By the time they were to an apparition point on the edge of Hogsmeade they had agreed that Sirius would apparate ahead and James would follow with everyone else.

Lily was on her feet in a second. Remus's eyes grew to the size of snitches and Peter took a break from trying to bandage Remus's leg to stare in horror at James. As Lily turned Remus grabbed her shirttail and demanded, "Where's my wand?"

"Pete's got it." She told him, then to James, "I'll inform the Order."

"Hurry."

Lily nodded and stepped to the side to send a patronus.

Peter tossed Remus his wand and headed toward the door. "North point." James informed as Peter left through the front door. Lily shot her patronus doe out of the window and grabbed her travelling cloak. Remus was slowly getting to his feet.

"Let's go Lil. Moony, you'll be alright?"

"I'm coming." Remus countered roughly. James steered Lily to the front door. "Get to Sirius." She nodded and rushed out pulling a thick cloak on over her robes.

He remembered what Moody had told him. He should strap Remus to a chair, make him stay put for everyone's sake. This was James's job as de-facto leader. Remus was no good if he wasn't going to be at his best, but James looked at Remus and found himself saying, "Come on." James comforted himself by believing he knew something Moody didn't; that they had been, and always would be better as a team than they were as one or even three.

He waited for Remus to decide that he had made a terrible decision, but it didn't happen. Instead his friend stood firmly for a moment then walked determinedly across the room, grabbed his traveling cloak off the back of a chair and headed out the door. James took one last look around the apartment and followed, his brain still rushing with the need to do something.

Remus was still standing when James reached him in the hall. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and grabbed Remus's outstretched arm. "Hold on." He instructed through gritted teeth. Remus swayed as he clutched James's arm with his wandless hand. The world sucked in on them tightening threateningly. Remus thought about each of his limbs, and holding them together until, before he knew it, they were spit out on soft ground in the grey morning light.

Mist obscured the vast stretch of field they knew should be there. James squinted, looking for a sign of the others until his eyes rested on the shadowy outline of the stone shed where he expected them to be. They walked cautiously forward, wands outstretched until they could make the outlines of bodies. The pair of guards who usually stood sentinel were lying on the ground, Peter and Sirius leaning over them. "Someone's been here." Sirius called, and James realized that Sirius wasn't the one responsible for stunning the guards. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering which Death Eaters had beaten them here. "What now?" Sirius asked, glancing over to James and Remus as they approached.

"The problem with apparating to Azkaban's dock is that it's purposefully hidden." Remus mumbled as they reached the stone shed. James blinked at Remus, realizing he was remembering word-for-word something Moody had told them a few months previous. Remus continued talking as he stumbled toward the shed. "You can floo into the shed from the Ministry's cells or-" At this Remus limped over one of the guard's bodies and leaned into the wooden door. It was bowed in the middle as if more than a few sentenced prisoners had thrown themselves against the door in a last ditch attempt to escape, and Remus's shoulder pressed into the splintering wood. He reached out with his wand and slid it gracefully down the door jam. "- you can perform the counter jinx, that really only an auror should know."

Remus whispered three short words that the others had, by now, forgotten and before he could regain his balance the door flung open and he tumbled over the threshold onto a cold cement floor. Groaning on the ground he finished with a cough, "and we walk through that archway to the boat." Sirius peaked around the edge of the door and saw that instead of a solid brick wall the far side of the building was an archway, not to the rest of the misty field, but to a dark molding dock sitting on a cold sea. A rowboat large enough for four clattered against the edge. At this distance, in the morning haze, Azkaban wasn't visible. James felt a terrified awe freeze him, but he was here for a reason and it was that fury that thawed him. He stepped over the bodies of the two guards, quickly helped Remus to his feet and turned back to the group. Sirius was peaking around the edge of the shed, determination bordering on rage was flickering in his eyes. Lily and Peter were a few paces behind, framed by the doorway. Lily looked thoughtful and alert while Peter was still a little dazed at the turn of events and kept glancing nervously to Remus still bolstering himself with James's shoulder.

"Remus and Peter stay as guards and to meet Order members." James directed, realizing he was holding more of Remus's weight then he should, and making a snap decision. Peter had never managed a great patronus and Remus's would be weak in his state. They weren't going across the sea if he could help it. "Lily, Sirius and I are headed in." James considered safety directions such as sending sparks or messages, but they would be lost in the fog and their patronuses would be busy. He hadn't even thought to grab the mirrors before coming here. He had to trust that they would make it out without Remus and Peter's help. Everyone nodded without question and though Remus looked a little disappointed, Peter breathed out a long sigh of relief.

Lily, Sirius, and James headed through the archway and down to the dock. The water looked black as it lapped against the edge of the boat and they were all unsteady as they stepped over the edge and took seats on the wet wooden planks. There were ores hanging loosely on either side but before he could grab a paddle Lily turned, tapped her wand against the stern and they took off across the expanse.

The air was suddenly whipping through their old and tattered "full moon clothes" as if they were mesh. Only Lily, wrapped in her thick winter cloak wasn't covered in goose bumps, but soon the cold grew deeper than just skin and she was shivering just as well. Sirius could feel ice spread through him. A cold despair was settling into his chest and he was forced to shut his eyes against the unwelcome feeling as he held tight to the one thought he would need to form a solid patronus. Not long after, Lily glanced at James at the head of the boat, eyes fierce and set, and summoned her patronus. It tamped out some of the cold, but they could all still feel something outside themselves whispering hopelessness into their cores. Sirius and James were forced to conjure their own patronuses not long afterward.

Azkaban prison came abruptly into view on the edge of a rocky island. It seemed to grow out of the same dark, jagged stone that made up the yard-long beach between their boat and the stairs to the great prison. The boat crunched up next to another, even more worn, vessel on the rocky island and James sprung out, wand ready to fend off any possible attacker. Lily was at his side instantly and Sirius had already taken his place watching their backs. The boat they had arrived in, as if afraid of the island's inhabitants immediately skittered off across the sea toward safer shores.

It took barely a few steps across dark rocks before a set of cracked and crumbling stairs grew out of the rocky hill whereupon the dark tower loomed. Grey and black bricks, stacked one on top of the other higher and higher, allowed more and more prisoners to be held within its walls. The trio's footing was desperately uncertain as they ascended toward the already half open iron doors that were tall enough that they would have easily allowed even Hagrid entrance. Rusty dew dripped down the door side leaving a red puddle that reminded them all jarringly of a pool of blood as they wearily followed their patronuses into a dark hall. No human guarded the entrance but as his stag galloped forward, a dog on his heals, James could just catch glimpses of black cloaks diving away down the dark hall. As the dementors swished away though, the sounds of anguished groans and the stench of human decay rose out of the black.

Lily suddenly froze, her heart stuck in her throat. The hallway was wide, but the cells on either side were repressively small. Pale thin hands reached through the bars toward the light of her quiet doe. James and Sirius were walking slowly away from her, she had to stay with them, watch their backs as they watched hers, but she had trouble moving.

Her doe reached her nose down to the level of a man with a thin dust-colored beard as long as Dumbledore's and bare arms she could have wrapped her hands around twice. Tears were pooled in his misted over eyes as he brushed the wispy fur of her patronuses nose, "No better place for a Death Eater to rot." Sirius voice returned to her, but from much too far away. Lily jumped out of her stare and stumbled forward as quickly as possible to catch up with the pair who had already slunk halfway down the hall. Her doe followed swiftly after her, shaking her graceful head as if trying to clear away a cobweb.

"Someone was here, the door was open." Sirius reminded again through gritted teeth as they reached a cold stone wall at the end of the hall. They had passed a stairwell to the upper floors some way back but hadn't gone up in order to finish a sweep of the first floor. "Thoroughness." Moody had grumbled, and they had listened. The people they were looking for were waiting for the chalk, James knew. Unless they already had a stockpile somewhere they would need what Kitty had been brewing, and suddenly James stomach jumped to his throat. He briefly touched the pocket of his robe, hoping he wouldn't find what he expected, but was met with the feeling of an unwelcome bump. "Upper levels then?" Sirius clarified.

James nodded, unable to speak for the lump in his throat as he cursed himself inwardly for not taking the chalk out of his pocket before storming into the tower. He was having trouble remembering the best way to dispose of acid chalk when a new, cold voice echoed from out of the darkness and fog, "Baby Black." It crooned. Sirius's wand shot up into a defensive position faster than anyone's eyes could even focus in on the figure.

The voice whispered Sirius surname again, the words travelling down the hall through the cries of inmates. Sirius's patronus dog flickered briefly at his side before beginning to bark at the tall dark-haired woman stepping into a crack of light.

"Bellatrix." Sirius sneered in reply, and there was a short bought of high-pitched laughter. Sirius's wand was now pointed at the dark figure's chest as hers was set on his. "Come to check out the real estate?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, cousin Sirius is trying to sound cunning?" Bellatrix mocked.

"Just trying to be helpful, I know how much you like this community, good neighborhood, fine schools." Sirius quipped back. He barely had time for the barb to land before Bellatrix shot a wordless curse at them. It was deflected with an easy flick of the wrist and barely a blink of the eye. Sirius considered returning fire, but waited, wondering if he could turn this, get information out of his cousin.

"Why are you here, Bells?" Sirius squinted into the fog. Something else was moving, he couldn't tell from here if it was a dementor, or another person, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Lily's wand move from Bellatrix and he knew he wasn't the only one who noticed something.

* * *

"There it is then." Remus mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for Peter to hear. Twin cracks had sounded on the edge of the forest, and he could make out that the figures were not Order members. Black and green cloaks were hitched warmly up under proudly held chins.

Peter tried to stuff his hands into grey security robes. They had traded outfits with the guards now concealed behind the shed, and though they were now warmed by the thick material, the resizing charm Remus had tried to use overshot and now Peter was hard pressed to even find his hands at the end of sleeves that hung down to his knees. Remus on the other hand could feel a breeze around his ankles from the shortening charm he had tried to use to avoid tripping over the hem.

"There it is then." Peter agreed, breathing out a puff of visible air, trying to calm his nerves. "If we survive this-" Peter's voice hitched in fear, "I'm going to.." But he couldn't think what he would do, surely not quit the Order, and "hide in my room for a month" seemed like a petty thing to say at a time like this.

"I know mate." Remus consoled, knowing that Peter's real sentiment was "if they survived" and his meaning had nothing to do with what he wanted to do afterward. The fear radiating off Peter was tangible.

The figures were walking briskly toward them, acting calm, ready to take down guards they surely thought should already be down and out. Peter saw Remus stretch himself up to his fullest height, acting the part of guard on duty. Peter swallowed, finally found the handle of his wand in his pocket, and tried to stretch himself up to look as official as Remus. Another cold breeze whipped through, this time taking a cloud of fog with it. Out of the brief clear the faces of the two new arrivals stood clear in the morning light and both of the fake guards found themselves groaning.

* * *

Sirius waited, expecting a curse to come at him. He watched through the haze as carefully as possible as Bellatrix held her wand steady.

"Make a fucking move or leave Bella, I've got shit to do." Sirius spat. He could tell James was searching around. If Bellatrix wasn't attacking them, she was stalling, and they needed to know why.

She took the bait with a flick of her wand, whispering a spell that was lost in the cries of inmates. Sirius smirked when no threatening sparks issued from her wand, but his attention jerked quickly away when James twitched at his side.

"You brought it for me!" Bellatrix cheered and James's eyes grew wide with horror. His hand snapped over the pocket where the bag of chalk was stashed, but he was too slow, the small satchel was already rushing into the air. James shot a holding spell trying to stall its progress. It stopped abruptly but he could feel the constant pull of Bellatrix's spell, a light tug of war held it between them.

Bellatrix's eyes were glistening reverently, excitement etched across her face. A high-pitched laugh suddenly escaped her, "Potter tried to steal our secret weapon!" Sirius shot James a look, and he flinched expecting accusation but he saw instead that Sirius was trying to plan something. He glanced past James to Lily who was still tracking something beyond the current conversation.

"Not so secret Bella, you were brewing it in Hogsmeade." Sirius reminded scathingly.

"A perfect place. Only a tunnel's walk from a fully stocked potions lab and no one would disturb a haunted house on a full moon except some buxom French girl who doesn't know any better."

"You put her up to it?"

"She put herself up to it." Bellatrix snapped back.

Sirius didn't say that Kitty could have been killed or injured. He didn't know if Bellatrix knew what really happened in the Shack. Maybe the Death Eaters were simply tipped off about the tunnel by Snape, maybe they were told everything. How would he know? Lily took a step to the side, and Bellatrix blinked at her. Sirius didn't think but decided on to use her moment of distraction to lash out. He struck out into the dark with a stunning spell. Bellatrix didn't drop the chalk to defend herself, but simply dogged the spell and slashed her wand through the air changing her summoning spell. Though the sticks of chalk burst from their bag puffing poison dust into the air they all stayed put hanging in the air between the opposing sides.

James briefly panicked, expecting her next move would be to create doorways into the individual cells, freeing inmates and causing havoc. His brain was reeling for a way to stop her, but the chalk wasn't spreading out. He worried what her plan was instead, and how to stop it when, with another flick of her wrist and a jerk on his wand, several sticks flew into her gloved hands and the others cracked into tiny pieces, still hanging in the air.

James knew they had to get it out of her control. He reaffirmed his hold on the few bits of chalk still floating, but was having trouble holding them. Her reapplied summoning charm was stronger than his holding spell, and he knew he couldn't hold on forever.

Sirius struck out with another stunner. Bellatrix dodged it by barely slipping to the side. "What are you doing with this Bella?" Sirius demanded again, losing patience, and feeling more than ready to duel in earnest.

"I thought you liked surprises Sirius." Bellatrix snapped.

The person Lily had been searching for finally came into her view. Long white hair flitted in and out of the fog near the staircase. What was Narcissa doing here? Lily cursed under her breath and began to rush forward, between Sirius and Bellatrix, knowing he was stepping into a dueling stance and this was her last chance to get by them. Lily had barely taken two steps when James's pulled her back. She spun, barely in control of her feet before he pinned her against the wall, covering her with his body and his head with his arms.

Sirius screamed out a " _protego_ ", but Lily could hear the pops of projectiles ripping through the magical shield. The spell holding the chalk aloft must have broken and Lily suddenly knew that Bellatrix was using the extra chalk as a weapon and not a tool. James hissed and Sirius screamed a profanity with a cry that made her blood turn to ice. She looked down to see sizzling bits of white dust scattered at her feet burning holes into the ground. Sirius screamed again and there was both anger and intense pain in his voice as he shot every curse he could think of back at his cousin.

When the pops ceased Lily pushed away from the wall ready to take down Bellatrix and find Narcissa. James gritted his teeth and buried his face briefly into Lily's shoulder before stranding with determination to face Bellatrix. Lily glanced around to find her target once more but saw as she did Bellatrix lifted the two sticks of chalk still in her gloved hand up to her face and smile wickedly before handing them over her shoulder. James, now holding a bleeding right arm, pointed his wand angrily at her. "Take these to him." The dark haired woman ordered to a slight figure who appeared behind her. James's wand flicked at the new arrival but he fled before the sparks bursting from James's wand could reach him.

To _him_? Bellatrix had said. James started. She could mean _him_ , Voldemort? He was here? James took a second to look sideways. Dozens of the tiny bits of white chalk had torn through Sirius's old school robe and into his side. Blood was pooled in his left hand as he tried to cover the several small wounds. Anger pulsed through James before he noticed with surprise that Sirius was mouthing the same thing he had been thinking, "Voldemort?" Sirius's eyes tracked sideways to James for a split second before both young men looked back down the hall at the retreating back and James burst off the wall, past Bellatrix and toward the stairs.

Lily was suddenly uncertain where to point her wand. Sirius grimaced and pushed himself off the wall unsteadily while she scanned the hall. Sirius raised his wand at his cousin once more, a determined smirk plastered under the grimace on his sweating face. "Lily-" Sirius started with a hiccup in his breath. Bellatrix shot a threatening hex in his direction. Lily shot the spell away from him sending it careening into the far wall as he teetered. He took a deep breath and took a step forward deflecting Bellatrix's next hex on his own. "Lily-" Sirius repeated as if trying to tell her something vital but too busy to fully form a sentence.

"I should go with James." She guessed under he breath with more than a bit of worry for the man dripping blood before her.

"Yes. _STUPIFY!_ Go." Sirius cursed in more ways then one at his cousin then chanced a glance sideways at Lily. She returned a worried look then took a last cursory glance around the dark hall for the other Black hiding in the dark before bolting off after James and the man holding the chalk.

* * *

James could hear the footsteps on the path before him. "Mulciber". He hissed to himself. He must have arrived just after them, must have twisted out of his bindings and arrived in time to make Bellatrix think he hadn't failed at his job at all. James felt a sinking feeling in his stomach worried about what that meant for Remus and Peter standing guard. Were they casualties of Mulciber's arrival?

Old concrete broke under his feet sending chips of stone down the steps and to the pair of footsteps following him. He knew it was Lily by the softness of each step, and didn't have time to wonder why Sirius's feet weren't barreling up behind her as he followed the sound of Mulciber up and up.

The natural fog from the lake was less and less as he rose, but the cold from dementors persisted and James could do little to fight it. His patronus, though still galloping ahead, was weakening with time and the pressures of his fears. Dark feelings battered him, nervous thoughts about his friends fought the dimmed creature as much as the dementors, but he kept one foot in front of the other until suddenly the dark feelings were pushed away and the stairway opened into a hallway lit with several flickering torches.

James looked nervously around. The sound of footsteps ahead of him stopped. He had reached the top floor and could see Mulciber skidding to a stop halfway down the hall, this one worrisomely devoid of dementors with lively light flickering off solid cell doors. Unlike on the levels below the only bars here were the ones covering small windows set high in the doors.

James blinked in the new light and focused on his target. He was knelt on the floor before a cell, a piece of chalk held nervously in his gloved right hand. James didn't stop to think but immediately shot a stunning spell at the Death Eater. Mulciber deflected it without looking up from his work so James slashed the air with another spell, and though Mulciber cursed angrily at the apparent inconvenience of needing to block spells he didn't pause from drawing a burning door into a dusty solid cell door. James continued to shoot spells, distracting the figure until Lily skidded up behind him. It was Lily. James breathed out thankfully until he realized that the stairs were now completely quiet and Sirius wasn't coming up after her.

* * *

"Impedimenta"

"Stupefy- CRUC-!"

"EXPELIARMUS!" Sirius dodged, screamed and Bellatrix's wand finally exploded from her hand, skittering across the floor.

"Looks like I win cous." Sirius coughed, pressing a hand to his side and taking a stumbling step toward Bellatrix. She was good, but she wasn't desperate, and desperation was what Sirius had going for him. Hot liquid oozed over his fingers and he felt a piece of chalk slip out of him and between his fingers burning and dissolving a strip into the digit. Before he could feel himself tilt over Sirius shot a hasty binding spell at the woman. Only her hands were wrapped in tight cords as he stumbled sideways, barely catching himself on prison bars.

"Bella?" It was another woman's voice, one Sirius recognized. It was cool and thin and coming from the stairway. In his darkening vision Sirius could see Bellatrix kneel to retrieve her wand as she sneered at the other woman.

Sirius held his wand tight, ready to stun her, now that she had nothing to defend herself with, but that spell took energy, and something was trying to cook him from the inside. It was in perfect contradiction to the ice pressing in around him. Why was holding his arm up taking up so much of his energy? Sirius shot a simple jinx at her as she crawled to her wand but she rolled from it easily. His aim was getting worse. Bellatrix made a desperate grab for her wand, snatching it between her bound fingers. Sirius sent another spell, this one stinking her shoulder, but she only hissed in pain as she unbound her arms.

A hand shot out from behind, shocking him more than it should have. The fingers were short and the skin was pressed tight to bone. Sirius turned and his eyes settled on the dark sunken eyes of an inmate, "help me!" a voice croaked and pain shot up Sirius's side as he recoiled in disgust. He re-clutched his side but had already his lost balance. He stumbled heavily onto his knees. The noise of the prison was starting to fade away, his mind a thick haze of muted sound that matched the fuzziness around the edge of his vision from wherein Bellatrix's silhouette slipped into view.

* * *

New voices echoed up from floors below as James and Lily advanced on Mulciber together, but the frustration had finally gotten to him. The Death Eater reached into his pocket, and James, in panic, stepped back trying to pull Lily with him, but Mulciber had found something else in the depths of his cloak besides green powder. Not excited about more tricks up the boy's sleeve James tried to blast the object away. Mulciber glared and returned fire as he whispered into his palm and threw something near the pair's feet.

As it skidded to a stop James realized it was nothing more than a watch, but a watch that was pulsing with light. That was enough to raise alarms in James's mind, but Lily had no such worries. Before he could hurry aside she grabbed his wrist tightly and pulled him over the now smoking object to rush Mulciber who was trying to use the distraction to continue drawing the doorway into the cell.

James used the forward momentum to tackle Mulciber down as the watch, in a final flash of light, made a deafening whistling noise and sent out a pulse pushing Lily to the ground next to them.

James coughed dust as Mulciber kicked him away. They were in a tangle on the floor when Mulciber finally looked over at Lily and realized who it was. With a leering smile he glanced at James knowingly, and suddenly a whispered memory from a dark alley returned to James like a punch to the stomach. "Crier is the key." He breathed out. Mulciber laughed lowly and in James's shock was able to slip away toward the door once more.

"Lily get away from that, you're the crier! You're the key." James was yelling now. He felt instantly guilty for using the word "crier" and for bringing her here, but he pieced it all together. The Death Eaters needed a key to get into this particular cell. Somehow Lily, or another muggle born was the key… somehow. He could feel cold that had nothing to do with dementors seep into him. Lily had righted herself and was scooting away from the door on uneven stone. James didn't want her to be a key to anything, least of all a high security cell in Azkaban. The voices had quieted, but were replaced by the dim sound of many footsteps, and from the gleam in Mulciber's eyes James suspected they weren't the footsteps of the Order.

"James, I don't think I am. I'm not." Lily finally said pointing at the door. James's heart was battering his ribcage as he turned swiftly and looked where Lily was pointing. Scratched in the door by what looked like fingernails were the words, "Zael Crier. Prisoner level 3". James blinked in confusion and Lily scrambled to her feet against the far wall. "Crier is the key?" he repeated and looked down to Mulciber who glanced over his shoulder, a smirk on his face and half an opening already visible, burning in the thick door. Both men began to rise slowly to their feet as a cold laugh reached them. The sound was hollow, lifeless. James could feel it rattle in his bones. They all looked toward the stairs, and out of the darkness a pale face shone, flanked by two masked figures.


	19. Chapter 19: The-Man-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Nam

**Chapter 19: The-Man-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named**

"Crier _is_ the key though." The voice whispered and the rest of his body came into view. He wasn't tall, or broad, his clean black robes were neat and perfectly tailored, he was nothing menacing. His hair was brown and smoothed over to one side making him look almost young, but his smile shimmered skeleton-like out of a thin merciless face. He was confident, with a cold voice that resonated in the echoing hall, "The key to something much bigger."

James and Lily both lifted their wands, but the man didn't so much as blink at the threat. "Mulciber." He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named nodded toward Crier's door. The Death Eater behind Lily and James breathed out in reverence to his leader and slipped behind them to Crier's door.

James briefly considered his options, and just as Mulciber began to scrape chalk against metal he lashed out. The Death Eaters flanking Voldemort blocked the hex with dismissive flicks. Lily joined James and moved her arm to shot a spell at Mulciber, he dodged by pressing himself against the door. James considered tactics, plans, spacing, and swallowed nervously. Four to two. They were outnumbered.

* * *

Bellatrix had clearly regained her feet in Sirius's brief distraction and was contemplating what to do to her cousin, "Crucio or stinging hexes all over?" She debated with herself smoothly, but another voice joined hers.

"Leave him." This voice was quiet and nervous. Somewhere in the mist Sirius could see Narcissa pull Bellatrix's dark sleeve. Why was she fighting for him?

"Cissy leave him to me, there's a good price on his head."

"Bella, leave him to another." Narcissa pleaded, and something must have passed between the two sisters because Bellatrix let herself be led away down the hallway leaving Sirius with the cries and pleads of the inmates and the suddenly swooping figures of dementors. Sirius, in a panic, looked for his patronus, but the creature had dissipated long ago. He could feel cold hopelessness try to freeze him. He fell against cell bars again and the same emaciated hand reached between them. Fingers slithered into his view. Sirius tried to move from the sight, but his body felt weighted down with hot lead. Dementors swooped around him, their rattling breath shaking his freezing limbs. Ice fought fire within him.

Sirius gripped his wand in his hand, tried to conjure something positive, but there was something wrong; He was so thirsty and tired. Fear spun in his stomach as another dark figure swished by. He was having trouble remembering what was going on, what he was doing when a thunderous explosion shook the air. Sirius glanced up to see a cloud of bright dust against the morning sun and in its center the grumbling profile of Alastor Moody with something small and bright bounding at his feet. Sirius hastened a sideways smile and called out, "They went up." But the words weren't nearly as loud as he hoped they would be, as his eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment.

The world swirled around him for a second until something changed. There was sudden warmth in the air. Sirius opened his eyes enough to see a bright blur. When he opened them again a face was there, worried and worn. "Dammit Padfoot." It said. Then a feeling like being ripped in him half hit him. Everything was burning and he couldn't pinpoint why.

Remus pressed a rag to Sirius's stomach and lifted him off the floor, his own legs threatening to buckle. They just had to make it to the boat, they could apparate from the far side, they just had to make it to the boat. An order member swept by them in a rush to secure the few escaped prisoners. Sirius was too heavy over his shoulder. The boat. A spell sparked over his shoulder, another followed quickly after. Remus tried to dodge but with Sirius barely walking they tumbled sideways avoiding another brush of spells by the skin of their teeth. As their knees hit the ground a red blur crashed overhead sending the wall bursting into dust next to them.

"Dust cover. Get him up. Cover me." Sirius heard a voice hiss from his left as a second body lifted him back onto his feet. Sirius tried to grab Remus's arm as he was pulled upward but his friend had turned to return fire into the hall. His surroundings swam as he was swept forward crashing back down the hall to the front door, the body holding him twisting and careening them both out of the way of bodies and spells. He thought he could hear Remus's steps following them, and suddenly there was the light of the outdoors and the rocky cliff stairs leading down to the sea. He turned his head to his left and got just a glimpse of a mop of black hair before the person dropped him and rushed back into the prison. Remus was already back on his right, breaking his fall and holding him up.

"Reg?" Sirius wondered after he and Remus began stumbling down the stairs again.

"Sirius we need to get to the boat," Sirius's feet suddenly weren't following orders. "Sirius, stay with me. Shit. Sirius." He could hear Remus calling him from down a long tunnel. He was trying to turn and look back at Azkaban, at the fading figure of his brother, but all he could see was the tall stone fortress as it tilted sideways and fell into the sky.

* * *

"Malfoy. Goyle." The names were apparently order enough, because the masked men to Voldemort's left and right stepped forward aiming their wands at James's chest. Mulciber turned from his almost finished work to aim at Lily's. The couple were back-to-back, waiting for the onslaught of spells, and it came, fast and ferocious. Wands swerved and swished. James was hit with more spells then he could keep track of, a stinging hex, a distractor, a buzzing sound filled his ears, his fingers froze and his legs slipped from under him, but Lily, fighting only one wizard, stayed firm defending herself from Mulciber and gaining enough time in between to shoot spells over her shoulder to Lucius, but it wasn't enough, they were being slowly beaten down.

James hit the ground with a thump. Lily ducked out of the way of a flurry of blue sparks. They sailed over her flying red hair and hit a surprised Mulciber in the chest. He tumbled to the ground once more and suddenly James knew how Mulciber had escaped the Shrieking Shack. The Bones's red penknife had clattered from the man's pocket and skittered away. He must have slipped it from James's pocket when he was holding him at wand point, or after he had poisoned him. James didn't know how and cared even less, all he knew was that he had given the man the tool of his escape.

James made a split second decision and scrambled forward on the ground until his fingers wrapped around the small object. In his moment of distraction Lily found herself struck with a jelly-legs jinx. She slipped to the ground with a groan. James reversed the spell and shot another spell at the larger of the two Death Eaters still standing. Lily gathered herself and attacked Lucius. Her spell hit him square in the face and he fell to the ground, limp. James's wand hand was still in the air when Mulciber regained his momentum and struck out, sending James's wand clattering against the ground and Lucius's side. As James looked up he saw, rather than heard, the Dark Lord laugh lightly.

Another blast from the end of Mulciber's wand stung Lily's shoulder. She threw up a shield and looked over her shoulder to James. The Death Eaters had slowed their attack, they thought they had won. Lily just barely protected them from another round of spells when James looked down at the knife in his left hand. "Go for the person?" He whispered to himself remembering something through the fog of time. "Interesting approach." He mumbled as Lily countered another jinx headed straight for him. Lily must have heard because as she returned fire she shoved James enough in the leader's direction to make a point. James dodged a stunner and slid behind Voldemort, his wand still abandoned by the unconscious body of Lucius. Voldemort had begun toying with Lily, who was running out of energy to counter him and Goyle. The man didn't spare a thought for the unarmed boy behind him. Surely a wandless wizard was nothing but a muggle.

James bolted to his feet as Lily deflected a barrage of jinxes. He dodged a hex from Mulciber, righted himself and wrapped his arm around Voldemort's pale thin neck. "Funny thing about fighting like a muggle." James hissed in his ear. "Always underestimated." James pulled out the Bones's knife and stabbed down at Voldemort's wand hand. Sure, the knife could open any door and untie any knot, but James realized that its one non-magical function was currently the most important. The knife was very, very sharp.

Voldemort's pale thin fingers jerked, dropping the wand onto the floor with a clatter. Voldemort screamed in pain and shock. Mulciber's eyes grew wide in disbelief and he fell to his knees, grabbed the chalk and drew until a full hole had been burnt into Crier's door. It took less then a second and then he skittered sideways. Instantly a leg the size of a tree trunk kicked out and sent the makeshift doorway clattering to the ground.

Out of the space an overwhelming figure lumbered into the hallway. Though not nearly as large as even Hagrid he was menacing. James looked up from the slowly bleeding hand just in time to see Crier rip the wand from Mulciber's fingers. Lily spun on her heals lashing out with spells, but as wild from Azkaban as the man lumbering toward her looked, he deftly deflected the spells into the walls. James pushed Voldemort as hard as he could into the wall farthest from his wand and dove for it. His fingers wrapped around its soft wood just as a spell began wrapping his arms in crawling silver threads. Lily deflected another spell long enough to dive into James. She turned expecting another spell to hit her from either Crier or Voldemort but the pair looked uninterested in them. Crier picked up Voldemort's wand from where it sat on the ground, and gently placed it in his master's outstretched hand. "Mulciber. Make sure you and Lucius get out of here soon. I daresay the Order is closing in on us." Voldemort instructed, regaining his cool. He blinked briefly at Lucius who was just waking up and then turned.

Lily was breathing heavily from the intense dueling, and James struggled with his bindings but they watched, stunned as Crier blasted a large hole out of the far wall, debris flying to the night air, and without saying a word the pair stepped out into the morning light and fell out of their sight.

"No." James jerked from the floor trying unsuccessfully to send spells toward the pair, but night had already taken them.

"It's over James. It's over." Lily wrapped a calming arm around his waist and pulled him back toward her, but James had turned his attention back to Mulciber.

"You'll lose." James hissed as the Death Eater wiped a patch of blood from his face. Mulciber didn't reply but shot a silent disarming spell. James's tentative hold on his wand was lost. Lily let go of his waist ready to deflect any further attack but Mulciber and Lucius quietly gathered themselves and walked toward the stairwell.

James fought the binding on his arms as if freeing himself would somehow bring Voldemort back for another round, but it was no use. Everyone they could fight was gone. All they could do was hope that they met Order members on their exit.

"We let them get away." James cursed. His arms were tangled up to his shoulders now and he was becoming more tangled with each pull of his arms.

"It's okay James." Lily soothed. "It has to be okay." Lily didn't seem okay, she looked ready explode with pent up anger, but she remained calm for James's sake so they could walk home in one piece. James calmed enough for Lily to get him to sit. She worked for a few moments trying to free his arms. Quickly, but carefully, she pulled away the wires that were digging into his flesh as he struggled. The binds left deep red marks on his skin but they had made it out, she reminded herself. They were still alive despite fighting He-Who-Must-No-Be-Named.

Footsteps reached their ears from the end of the hall. Lily shot to her feet wand in hand once more, but breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Alice standing among the rubble. "Hurry." She instructed "Moody's worried they may send in another wave."

Lily jerked her head, "No. They were leaving." Lily stated.

"Sorry?" Alice asked.

"They got what they wanted." Lily called back, disappointment evident in her voice. "They have Crier." Alice blinked at her then took a better look at her surroundings, the busted door and the broken wall.

"Crier?" Alice repeated, then ordered, "Get up, we need to get going."

Lily knelt and helped James remove the last tangle of wires from his arms. She pulled him to his feet and they followed Alice through the hall and down the winding stairs.

Dementors were scattered throughout the building as they rushed toward the ground floor and the doors. Some places looked untouched by battle, while others showed signs of a full-blown fight. The ground floor had holes blasted in it and the heavy stone that made up the walls crunched underfoot. Moody was waiting for them on a boat as they stepped outside.  
"That everyone?" he grumbled at Alice. She nodded and ushered the pair toward the boat. They stepped in gingerly. Moody twisted his wand and the boat pushed off from the shore and rushed to the mainland. Lily's heart hadn't stopped beating against her ribcage. She could see the hole left in the side of the tower from Voldemort's escape, and in her minds eye she could still see the blood dripping through Sirius's fingers. Her own mortality seemed slightly more tangible on this side of a true battle.

She was still staring at the tower despite the thin cover of mist when the boat bumped against the mainland dock. James helped her out and steered her toward the archway.

They slipped through and out into the wide field. The pair had just enough time to see Sirius's body laying on the ground before Elphias apparated him away. James rushed forward but was grabbed by Moody and Lily. "Headquarters. Your house has been compromised by Kitty." He grunted. James didn't have time to gather himself before Lily turned him to face her and apparated them both outside the wards of the warehouse.

James rushed into warmth of the building. Many Order members were gathered there already, some still in their pajamas, others clearly having just returned from Azkaban, but they might as well have been ghost for how much James cared. He bolted around tables and chairs until he found Elphias and Peter slowly setting Sirius onto the floor.

James stumbled over a chair in his hurry and was a few feet from Sirius when Lily suddenly stopped him. She spun him around, panic etched on every corner of her face.

"James. Marry me!" The words came out in a breathless, hurried rush. Everything in the room was spinning except for his face. She clutched at his arm and he reached out to hold her steady.

"What?"

"Marry me, James." Lily repeated. James's mouth fell agape. The room almost became silent in the chaos, the only sound was Sirius clawing for breath on the floor behind Lily. She wouldn't let James pass.

"Lily." There had been a galaxy worth of meaning behind her words and the deepness of her sincerity unsettled him more than the sound of blood continuing to drip from Sirius's open wounds. He pushed the sound to the back of his mind, held Lily steady by the shoulders and stared into her eyes, feeling as if he might fall into the green pools. His words were pointed and serious as he spoke each one, "Any second of any day, yes, a million time yes." His face fought between fear and exuberance, and Sirius hissed again, "but right now..."

"I know." Lily said, slightly more relaxed. A few tears of relief unwittingly slipped from her eyes. James kissed the top of her head and pulled her into a brief but meaningful hug. She held on tight, but let go almost immediately to allow him stumble over and kneel next to Sirius who reached out instantly for his hand. His face was ghost white, and his eyes were losing focus as they tried to find James's.

Lily wiped the fearful tears away from her eyes as she stumbled back. The room hadn't settled around her. She felt lightheaded and disoriented. She stared at the blood pooling around James's knees until she felt Remus's gentle hand grip hers and lead her to the far side of the room, to a cold, hard metal chair. Remus tumbled into a seat next to her with a rattle of metal against concrete. He looked barely better the Sirius at first glance, but he was going to be fine, just like he always was.

Across the room, on the cold, floor Sirius might not be. Despite his fluttering eyelids and shivering body, Sirius grip on James's hand was firm. Melinda said this was a good sign as she dropped to her knees at their side.

"We need to go to Mungos." James insisted.

"Shouldn't." Melinda gave James and apologetic look. "There're people working there that would be perfectly happy to-" Melinda didn't finish the sentence, but James imagined she meant "leave him to die", just as they had tried to with Benjy, and James's heart sank nervously. "I didn't want to tell you this, but there is bounty on the head's of Dumbledore's friends."

"So?"  
"So we fix him here. It's fine." She said putting her hand over Peter's as he resolutely held a rag to the wounds and looked desperately at the back wall. The red bricks were not much of a calming sight to Peter when he could feel the warmth of blood dripping through his fingers, but at least he wouldn't have to look at it. He was upset, more upset than he would admit. Where Sirius and James always saw tough scars, Peter saw the blood and wounds that came before. While the others were crafting nighttime excursions and ways to bother madam Pomfrey during the mornings after full moons, Peter was skimming healing books and stealing potions from the dungeon classroom. He could never take credit for figuring out how to do it, but he had certainly pointed the group in the direction of becoming animagi. Stop the hurt before it happened. But despite all the research he had never gotten over the actual sight of blood. Something deep, animal, in him would panic, make him turn away or become sick, just as he felt now, so he felt more than he saw when Melinda Bones pulled his hand away from the spattering of wounds on Sirius's side.

The chalk might still be inside his friend cutting him to shreds, burning his insides. They didn't know. Melinda sized up the wound trying to see beyond the pooling blood. She called for blood replenishing potions, sealers, pain potions, and Peter took a few seconds before he realized she was yelling for him to get them.

"Um.. Wha..Where." He flustered.

"My bag over by the door." She directed then added, "Hurry!" Peter fumbled to his feet and bolted to the other side of the warehouse.

Peter didn't give a thought to the other Order members milling about. He was on a mission. He grabbed the large black bag and rushed back Melinda. She motioned with her head that he should keep it. She was up to her elbows in blood and was doing her best with her wand to seal up the smattering of holes covering Sirius's side. She had made sure all the chalk was out, but was unable to seal the potion burnt holes.

Sirius's grip on James's hand was tighter than ever and Peter noticed Melinda was holding his leg down from rising up in pain. Whenever she would stop trying to force his skin closed, Sirius would breath out an exhalation or a colorful curse, but at least he was conscience, Peter reminded himself. He wasn't dead yet.

"Get him a pain potion, then hold his arm down. I think he's poisoned, and I know this wound is unusual, it's not staying closed." She directed Peter. He rifled through the bag for a pain potion and Sirius followed his movements greedily. Melinda tried a different approach to stifling the blood and Sirius involuntarily tried to roll away from her, screaming profanities. Peter knelt down with a bottle of familiar electric blue liquid. Sirius's shaking hand reached out for it and Peter guided it to his mouth. His friend took a swig, swallowed and let out a breath of relief and another curse. The concentrated crease between Melinda's eyes grew deeper, "Give him a mouthful of Wither's Anti-curse, get out dittany, and the blood replenishing potion. I can't do anything with spells, I need to brew something." And James could almost hear the words she wasn't speaking "If we can keep him alive that long."

Melinda looked around, deciding where best to brew her potion. "Moody send Edgar a patronus get him to bring my potions kit, Mellow weed . . ."She began to list off ingredients and Moody nodded with each one. He immediately sent off a speeding patronus while James and Peter watched her nervously. "Peter, hand me the bandages from my bag and the Dittany." Peter did as he was asked.

James watched as she did her best to staunch the bleeding with the potions and bandages, but it did little good. Peter gave Sirius the prescribed amount of blood replenisher. Edgar soon arrived with the potions ingredients and supplies. "James let me know if anything changes" Melinda directed and got to her feet. Sirius dug his nails into James hand.

"Not losing you yet I guess?" James translated. Sirius nodded imperceptibly. "You know where you're at?" James asked. Sirius blinked around at his surroundings.

"Yeah, think so, no dirty couch." Sirius whispered. "Warehouse?"

"Right." James answered.

"Ceiling's nicer here too." He added. The pain potion had fully kicked in now. Sirius was shivering, drooping with tiredness, but not writhing. "Wormtail, can you grab a blanket?" James asked and Peter scurried off, returning with a thick winter coat. James draped it over Sirius's shoulder trying to avoid hitting his wounds.

"Did we win?" Sirius asked suddenly.

James looked at him sadly. No, they hadn't won. They were in a lot of trouble actually. "Not yet Padfoot."

"Where're Lily and Moony?" He asked, his words slowly slurring. James looked up and around the room. Lily was still sitting in a chair on the other side of a large table, Remus at her side, an arm around her shoulders, keeping her calm. James noticed he was barely in one piece himself. His hand was pressed against his side, still in pain from his transformation, and blood had started trickling through his pant leg.

James looked back to Sirius, "Right over there." James pointed, but Sirius couldn't follow his finger. Things were becoming speckled with black dots. He held tighter to James's hand trying to hold on.

"Prongs, everything's going weird." He said blinking once and trying to settle his vision on his friends face.

"You're fine Padfoot. Just stay here with me." James pleaded. Sirius blinked again, but then couldn't pull together the strength to open his eyes back up. James's voice was calling to him.

"Sirius stay with me. Come on. You're going to be fine, open your eyes, Melinda's making you a potion- Peter grab Melinda. We already got the stupid chalk out of you, now we just have to get you to stop bleeding."

"Stop bleeding." Sirius tried to repeat back but it came out slurred and quiet, he couldn't make himself heard. He felt heavy. Tilting. James's voice faded, and Sirius scrambled to feel his friend's hand in his, but it was as if he were lost under a mountain of clouds. He tried to say James's name, but it was more distorted then his previous words, father away. Where was James's hand? He tried to squeeze. Something squeezed back, called. He held on as everything else went black.

"Melinda, he's not waking up." James called, but she didn't move from her station behind the cauldron. Peter rushed back over to him.

"She's making a potion that will stop the bleeding." Peter explained. "She has to stay by the cauldron, but she says to give him another dose of blood replenisher."

"That'll poison him." James reminded from his little knowledge of the potion he had learned from Remus. Peter shrugged and reached for the bag. "Right, what's it going to do at this point." James realized, and Peter poured another dose down his friend's throat.

Remus patted Lily on the shoulder and walked back over to where Sirius was lying on the floor. He carefully knelt on the far side of Sirius from James who was trying to get Sirius's attention again. There was a light squeeze of a hand, but James couldn't tell if he had imagined it.

Remus reached out for James's shoulder and held it for a moment trying to give him strength. "He's not leaving this world because his cousin shot a demonic bag of chalk at him." Remus comforted with a half smile. James nodded without taking his eyes off his best friend. "Keep talking to him though, that's important. Gives you something to hold on to." Remus suggested. James nodded again and began to talk, as if they were joking in the dorm.

He dredged up Quidditch statistics, a book of stupid jokes Sirius had given him as a crack gift in second year, anything he could think of. He blathered for a long while before realizing, "You should sleep Moony." He looked up through bleary eyes. Remus hadn't slept, not since the full moon and it was nearing midday. Normally they couldn't wake him from a state of dead sleep at this point. Remus slumped out of his squat and into a sitting position.

"'S'kay James, I'll wait until Sirius is up." He rested his face in his hands and listened as James reminded Sirius of the time they managed to put a time release on some stink bombs in the Slytherin team's locker room. He racked his brain for more stories and seconds felt like hours as they sat there waiting for a potion that would hopefully work, to be finished.

"Ten minutes." Peter said bringing back news from Melinda. Sirius's grip was getting frighteningly loose. He wasn't holding anymore. James was suspicious he was simply keeping Sirius's hand in his. Remus didn't say anything but was quietly watching Sirius's breathing slow to a worrisome crawl. It was minutes later, when it looked like he had stopped altogether, that Remus panicked and called for Melinda.

"Reinvigorate spell." She called over her shoulder. But none of them had the first clue how to start that. "Remus come here and stir." She commanded instead. "Sixty seconds on the dot clockwise, thirty counter. Add leaves, sixty clockwise add that root and stir until it turns white, frothy, and thick." Lily sprung to her feet before Remus could get up. Being the better of the two at potions she began following the instructions directly. Remus instead slipped out of Melinda's way at Sirius's side and as he stopped breathing the older woman used her wand to push air in and out of his lungs, James cursing everything he could from his other side.

It felt like another hour, and not five minutes, before Lily declared the potion done. She stepped away from it hurriedly putting her hands in the air, in case she was to mess it up somehow. The potion looked just as Melinda had described. "Bring the whole cauldron here!"

Lily lifted it off the table and brought it over. Many of the people in the room had turned from their side conversations to watch nervously. A quiet swept the large room. Melinda peeled away the bandages to reveal a wound bleeding only a trickle with the lack of strength of heart to expel more blood. She grabbed a clean bandage, placed the frothy potion on it and handed it to Remus. "I'll use a spell to close it you follow behind with the rag."

She whispered words and slowly the largest of the wounds closed as Remus followed with the potion. It didn't work the first time or the second. His skin slowly peeled apart, and she had to stop to check that Sirius was breathing; shallow, sparse breaths, but breathing. The third time the wound remained mostly closed, and the bleeding stopped.

They lathered another bandage in the foaming potion and let it sit while Melinda once again used magic to breathe for Sirius. James watched her motions closely and five minutes later when the wound started turning the white potion a frothy pink, he told Melinda he could use the spell while she fixed him up again, and he did. For the next hour she worked on fully closing the several small wounds, while James concentrated on keeping breath moving into his friend lungs.

"Done." she breathed out, "or as close as I can be. The bleeding's mostly stopped, and it's not opening up anymore." She decided peeking delicately under the bandaging again. They gave him another half dose of blood replenisher, throwing caution to the wind, and waited. Remus breathed out and reached for Peter's arm as he fell back into a more comfortable sitting position. Peter steadied his friend then joined him in sitting. Melinda slipped off to check on the other injured Order members.

* * *

 _A/N- Wall of Author text._

 _Happy Thanksgiving to anyone celebrating it. Since I love food and family it's my favorite holiday. I'm thankful I've had time to write for fun (this much) for the first time in my life, and of course I'm thankful to all you lovely people who have favorited and followed and reviewed this story. It's nice to know someone out there is reading._

 _I wrote the marriage proposal and the few paragraphs following it first. Perhaps there were other bits written, but these few paragraphs were the center from which I wrote the story. Lily asking James to marry her and then still, with all the fear, knowing he had to be with Sirius seemed right. That was the story- and from there we find out that Peter is just trapped in his own weaknesses. It was a good place to start from. – but all of this meant I had to almost kill Sirius...Blerg._

 _I will be the first to admit I enjoy (like one enjoys eating an entire bag of chips or a pint of ice cream) a well-acted soap-opera or drama. This is my cheesy overdramatic soap opera scene… You know the ones written by people who don't understand medicine but have watched a lot of Science Fiction. So Ta-da._

 _See you at the next chapter._


	20. Chapter 20: Of Criers and Consequences

**Chapter 20: Of Criers and Consequences**

Sirius slowly began to breath for himself. Shallow and slow. James pocketed his wand and picked up a hand. There was blackness spreading under his friend's fingernails, poison, probably from a blood replenisher overdose, but the chalk could be blamed as well. They tried two more anti-poisons potions, some basic repair potions, pain potions, and James slipped one to Remus who had begun to shake from exhaustion at his side.

After a third anti-poison Melinda said she'd go on a search for a bezoar if he didn't show signs of fighting the chalk by nightfall, which James took to mean that his friend would make it to nightfall.

The warehouse had people trickling in and out, checking for news and continuing work as the end of the day drifted nearer. Lily had begun fielding questions and organizing. Remus, still shivering like a battered feather, was eventually forced by Lily to lie down. He did so, grudgingly, at Sirius's feet, and woke often to check on his friend's status. Peter eventually went to help Lily, feeling woozy at the sight of Sirius's blood now that he wasn't being directed into action every few seconds.

Another hour stretched by and when she thought the blackness was fading from Sirius's nails Melinda breathed her first sigh of relief. "I'm going to get a shower and check on my kids, but you know where to find me." She said in hoarse weary voice, looking James in the eye. James nodded and the woman got to her feet wiping bloody hands on her robes before cleaning them with a short spell.

Before she could make it beyond the first table, a gravelly voice called from above them. "Melinda, give Lupin a once over before you leave." It was Moody. He was suddenly a few feet from where Remus who was lying on the floor his arm covering his eyes. The auror didn't look happy about what he saw. His usually crinkled face was lined with worry and annoyance. The healer shook herself out of a stare at the door to glance in Remus's direction.

"Huh?" She asked coming out of a heavy daze.

"He beat himself up rather nicely last night." Moody stated. The auror looked like he was about to tap Remus in the side with his boot to wake him but quickly thought better of it and knelt heavily, and shook him awake. "Lupin. Get up." He ordered. "I've asked Melinda to check you out before she goes." Remus uncovered his face and looked lifelessly up at Moody. He thought about covering his face again and continuing his slumber. He briefly considered arguing, saying it wasn't necessary, that he was too tired, but that would involve energy he didn't have. Slowly he sat up and Moody helped drag him to his feet, where he stood swaying next to the auror, grabbing a chunk of his robes in a white knuckle grip.

"I assumed you were simply tired, sorry dear." Melinda said rubbing weariness from her eyes and walking over to where the pair were standing, careful not to bump Sirius. "What happened?" She asked reaching out to hold him steady as he peeled his fingers away from Moody. Melinda reached her hand up to brush a fever damp fringe away from his face, trying to assess some kind of damage.

Remus looked wearily at Moody. What hurt was indicative of his lycanthropy; bites on his arms and legs, bruises up and down his sides, he was weak and achy, and if she were any good at her job, she would figure him out as soon as he mentioned it. Did she know that last night was the full moon? Would she figure it out at that moment, or a month from now?

Remus looked guiltily at the floor, but considered Moody's words from months ago. Trust rang in his ears. He swallowed back the fear rising in his throat. He was so tired, everything in him wanted to hide or leave as quickly as possible. Instead he looked up, seeing the room was mostly empty he breathed out the truth in hushed tones, "I'm a werewolf Melinda, last night was the full moon." Melinda's hands dropped from his shoulders immediately and Remus flinched reaching instinctively for Moody to hold himself upright. The auror grabbed him tightly, bracing him with a sturdy arm. Remus waited for the curses but Melinda seemed to be too stunned to be vicious. After a moment she turned her scathing glare on Moody.

"The north?" She hissed, thinking back to Remus's mission. "He's a kid-" She snapped, to Remus's surprise before Moody cut her off.

"He's an asset" He corrected giving her a look that told her she shouldn't argue. Melinda glared for a few more seconds then turned her attention back to Remus pointing with a broken nail to the table where her potions still sat. He lumbered over wearily, noticing Melinda didn't reach out a hand to assist him, and sat down, thankful for the pain potion she placed in his hand.

She didn't look him in the eyes as she checked for broken ribs and patched more than a few scratches including the deep one, only half bandaged, on his leg that he hadn't noticed was red and hot under the crusted blood. She didn't speak another word to him and her demeanor, usually liberal with hugs and warm pats, was cold and clinical. It was a jarring change. When she left ten minutes later, leaving him a potion for fever, she barely managed a goodbye.

Remus placed a hand on his tightly wrapped ribs, the job was done better then Peter or James had managed in the last three months, but he wasn't sure the truth was worth the care. Melinda would never look at him the same. He had sensed her fear, her pinch of carefully concealed disgust.

He looked down at Sirius's still body. He imagined him and James going off at Melinda for the mere insinuation that she wasn't okay with what he was, but that wasn't going to happen. James had been awake for almost two days, his eyes were rimmed in dark black and his eyelids were slipping shut. He wasn't even aware anything was going on. The dark-haired boy didn't dare let go of Sirius's hand, and Remus could just catch words whispered under his breath as he fought to stay awake. Lily stood off the side, her arms crossed, eyeing James nervously. They couldn't drag James away to sleep anymore than they could make Sirius better.

Lily did, eventually, glance his way with a consoling frown before her vision bounced behind him. "Hey Pete." Lily finally croaked, "You should take Remus home. If you have time could you make some dinner? We should all eat." Peter was behind the table where Remus sat looking lost without his leader, and though he had also had little more than a wink of sleep in two days he nodded enthusiastically to Lily's suggestion.

Remus wanted to shrug Peter's hand off his arms when his friend reached out. He needed to stay with James and Sirius, but Peter would need a friend as well, and he could feel himself getting sick from weakness. A nap on a couch might do him some good.

He gripped Lily's shoulder on the way out, the only way he could think to try and impart strength, but there didn't seem to be enough strength in the world for this.

* * *

Peter returned an hour later with a casserole and a plate stacked high with warm sandwiches, Remus on his heels. Lily sighed at the sight of him, but didn't argue.

They ate bits of food, all too worried to dig in, and continued to wait. After an hour the last of the Order members, carrying maps and charts, left, either to guard somewhere, or snuggle up next to loved ones and slowly calm down from the day's events. The Marauders and Lily were suddenly left alone with only Alastor Moody for solemn company.

There was a vacuum of calm before a chair clattered in the back corner and Moody rose to his feet. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" the auror demanded in a deep rumble, unable to hold it in any longer. Remus blinked awake from Sirius's feet, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Peter backed into a table. There was a pulsing silence until James realized they were waiting for him to answer.

"Voldemort was there. We had a chance to stop him." He finally decided to state tiredly.

Moody welled with ire, his shoulder's broadening and his scarred face becoming more fierce and angled. He was towering over them, "No! You decided to run into a heated situation without immediate backup."

"Five Order members isn't backup enough?" James snapped in retaliation. He would be damned if Moody continued to ignore them.

"Wizards die when you don't follow instructions." Moody countered, bending down to James's level and staring him in the eyes. "I've buried too many aurors because of stupid decisions. I had to cut corners training you. You had to be better." He pulled away from James to look at the rest of them until his eyes settled on Lily and Remus, "I expected you to be better." His voice tapered out with a low growl as he rose again. The room grew quiet in the aftermath.

"On a situation we had been eyeing closely for months. More than that you were holding the tool they needed to make this mess!" He struck up again but this time toward the back wall.

"No one had been monitor-" James started.

"Elphias, Mundungus and I have been watching the movements of certain illegal substances onto London shores since July."

"Then why didn't you realize they had been brewing them right under Dumbledore's nose!" James replied testily. He was too tired for this. He was too tired and too upset at himself already without Moody's help.

Moody turned slowly and gahuffed at him. He didn't need to say it. James knew. The second they found the potions tools they should have turned them over to the Order, but they were waiting for more evidence, something concrete to turn over. To James's surprise Moody said, "We were expecting something to happen this morning. We were set up to stop the Death Eaters at their meeting spot, but we were called away. It didn't matter where the potions were brewed if we could cut them off before they were used."

"Then why didn't you tell us about it? If we knew we would have-"

"Demanded to be on the front line with us, fighting?" Moody cut knowingly. He knew them well enough to know they wouldn't have said "no" to a fight even with a rising full moon.

James's nostrils flared as he stared with anger at his trainer. "That's the point, that's why we're in the Order!" He yelled dropping Sirius's hand for the first time in hours to rise to his feet.

"You can't follow basic instruction, you don't share vital information with the Order. You sneak off and do whatever you want. I didn't feel we could trust you on a mission this vital!" Moody growled.

"We found out they were in Azkaban. They were already there when you got called away. We alerted you as soon as we knew! How is that bad?" James seethed.

"Because they got their hands on the chalk, freed Crier, and now Sirius is half dead at our feet." He motioned to the still body on the floor and James tensed.

"Sir-" Remus cut in quietly, and both James and Moody bristled before calming themselves long enough to listen, "We're an…impulsive lot, I give you that, but you have to understand we were under the impression that we could hold off whatever was going to happen until more Order members arrived, and I think we did. If James and Sirius hadn't gone to check on whatever was happening in the attic at the Shrieking Shack they would have been with Peter to take me home and Kitty would have gotten out unscathed with an entire bag of Chalk. All of Azkaban could have been freed." James suspected the only reason Moody was listening was because it was Remus talking. His magical eye had even swiveled to the floor where Remus had propped himself up on his elbows.

"There is a reason we keep information and give out assignments. If you want to get anywhere with us, you're going to need to trust some of our decisions." Moody explained, more disappointed than angry. "We didn't want you there."

James flinched, and looked away from the auror down at Sirius. He knew this was the nail in their coffin. If they screwed up this bad on a mission they weren't even supposed to be on, they would never get anywhere on fighting Voldemort. He couldn't think of a defense, he was too tired. He sat down and placed a hand into Sirius's once more. It felt limp and cold in his. It cut him deeper than he thought it would, "Clearly you were right" James said, defeated.

"Clearly I underestimated you." Moody's eyes both stopped on James. "You messed up," He glanced briefly at Sirius's bedraggled body before flicking his attention back to James.

Confusion bubbled up in James. Nothing about the day had gone right, Sirius was half dead, Crier had escaped, and Order houses had been compromised. He knew his, at least, had been ransacked the night before by Kitty's cronies. Sirius's was a likely other target.

"You shouldn't have been there, by any accounts, but when push came to shove, you fought." Moody eyed them all now. James blinked up at him. "That doesn't get you off the hook." He finished with a pointed grumble to temper the sudden seed of pride floating up in James. "The lot of you are still a heap of dimwitted trolls."

James fought a smirk. He tried to think of something to say, but without Sirius's snark nothing came to him. Remus slumped back to the ground and covered his face with a half-repressed groan.

"So we're not kicked out of the Order?" Peter whispered from beside the table. Moody glared up at him as if this were the dumbest thing he had heard that day.

"No, fer Merlin's sake." He reassured, against his will, as he crossed the room and kicked a chair out from the table where Melinda's potions ingredients were still sitting. He sat heavily.

* * *

He was still grumbling quietly to himself an hour later when the floo on the far wall leading directly to Dumbledore's office suddenly burned bright green. Remus sat up grimacing in time to see the Headmaster sweep into the room and quietly assess the situation.

"Alastor." Dumbledore nodded in greeting to the auror who waved a scarred hand in response. The Headmaster sensed the mood of the room and calmly walked to where the marauders were seated. He pulled a metal chair as silently as a floating feather away from one of the tables. James waited for him to transfigure it into a sofa or a wildly painted armchair, but he simple sat quietly onto the hard metal and asked seriously, "How is he?"

James throat seemed to pinch together as he looked into Dumbledore's kind blue eyes. "Not dead." He barely whispered. He thought this would be the first of many times he would have to answer this question and he hated it. Dumbledore continued to watch him. He should be more specific he realized. There was a hiccup in his voice as he continued, "Melinda thinks he will be okay. Poison's going away and he's stopped bleeding." Dumbledore nodded and let his eyes sweep over the other three appraisingly.

"Peter, I just got word from the Ministry, Avery will be put on trial. He will likely be added to the ranks of those serving time in Azkaban later this week." James and Lily blinked in confusion at the nervous boy.

"I caught him at the gate." He looked briefly at Remus. "Remus and I got him." He explained. Lily beamed at her timid friend.

"Peter that's amazing." James said, feeling a tingle of warmth first time that day. Before he could let the image of Remus and Peter taking down Avery sink Dumbledore was speaking to him again. He tuned in as best her could.

"-From what I've heard you and Lily defied Voldemort? That is no small feat either." James glanced to Moody before looking at Dumbledore. The Auror's arms were crossed over his chest, but he had turned to face them over the distance. He didn't look as disgusted as he had earlier. Indeed he almost seemed to agree with the Headmaster.

James looked back at Dumbledore. He had interlaced his long fingers together on his lap and James suddenly felt like he was back in his office, staring at him over an ornate desk. He had a calculated look on his face that told James he was deciding on the best way to explain a wrongdoing. There was a beat where James wondered if Dumbledore would offer him a sweat before the old wizard said. "We plan, and have strength as a team, not in heroics." he explained quietly. James's heart, already pressed with guilt, suddenly felt as if it had been hit by a crushing hex.

"We felt we had to." James whispered, temporarily unable to explain his actions even to himself.

"That being said, you stopped a great catastrophe." Dumbledore's deep stare lightened, and with it James's heart buoyed enough to allow him to breath.

"Crier's not the key then?" Lily spoke up, frustrated. "Why did they keep saying that? He wasn't the key, so why did they want him out so bad?!" She had gained back some of her courage in the face of the Headmaster.

"Unfortunately Crier was the key." Dumbledore began, readjusting himself in his chair before continuing. "The young miss Kitty Crier. She had the connections to make the chalk. She imported goods from rebels outside Tare, she got Mulicber and Avery to-" Dumbledore paused, "harvest some of the goods from the young Lilith. Unfortunately on school grounds." His lips puckered in disappointment. James remembered the screams they heard when they were coming back from their trap-setting in the tunnels under the Whomping Willow. Who was Lilith though? He glanced up and saw Peter's face twist in horror, and a fuzzy memory struck him. The girl with the missing finger Peter had flirted with at the party; dark potions often involved fresh human bone. James grimaced as Dumbledore continued calmly, "Kitty Crier was the key, in the end, to freeing her father."

"What?" Lily said, shocked. "Why would they want Crier? What's he got to do with anything?"

Dumbledore pinned her with two intense blue eyes. "He is, unfortunately, very powerful. We believe he may be _their_ key to winning the Ministry."

"And we let him go." Peter exhaled falling into a chair.

"On the contrary you allowed us to discover the true purpose of the Death Eater's attack on Azkaban. If they had been able to free all the inmates they had wanted to, we wouldn't be able to narrow down their plan. Since their focus was mainly on Crier we know how they will execute their next step."

James blinked at the Headmaster in confusion.

"Crier has special skills." Was all the Headmaster said in elaboration. "We'll know more before the next meeting."

"Will we be allowed to attend?" Lily asked tentatively.

Dumbledore smiled. "Why of course, I expect you promptly at 5 tomorrow. I wouldn't want to do without a pair that has stared down Voldemort and survived."

Lily glanced over at James who blinked back, surprised that Dumbledore had agreed with Moody. They turned to Dumbledore together and nodded.

"Well then. I need to take my leave. There are issues to be sorted in relation to the current state of the Ministry and the Prison Azkaban. Until then I will see what I can do about more comfortable accommodations for those of you whose homes have been compromised."

"Thank you, sir." James exhaled.

"Is there anything else?" Dumbledore asked kindly. James shook his head and the Headmaster nodded in James direction and walked off to the fireplace to floo back to his office.

"Wow." James realized, the events of the day just now sinking in.

Lily agreed, "Wow."

* * *

 _A/N- I don't really like Moody (and Dumbledore's only okay) in the second half of this, the characterization isn't quite right. If someone could point out why I would appreciate it so I can fix it._

 _Also 1 short Chapter to go. All I have left are quick edits, so it'll be up soon._


	21. Chapter 21: Home

**Chapter 21: Home**

"How is he doing?" Remus asked, stumbling through the apartment doorway and into the toasty warmth of the room. He brushed snow out of his hair and blinked the flakes off his eyelashes. The apartment held a magical heat that had been a lifesaver for them in the last few cold weeks especially since they had been forced to board up their magical fireplace for fear of attack. Since Kitty had compromised so many homes they didn't want to take their chances. Most Order members had moved back home and resumed life as usual once their homes had been determined safe, but they had quickly discovered Sirius's had been broken into with malicious intent.

Sirius and James were really the only ones left without a place to go, both being unable to fix up their apartments after the raids that had left them ransacked trashed and probably booby-trapped. Remus and Lily had dragged them back to their own apartment after the first night stuck in the drafty warehouse.

"Better." James said looking up from a sheet of scratch paper where he was once again jotting down notes. "He woke up long enough to ask me why I wasn't a scantly clad, busty nurse, so he'll be fine soon." He added with a wry smile.

"Great, just what we need…What are you writing? Can't be quidditch plans." Remus said thinking about the thing James most liked to scribble notes about.

"Order plans actually. I'm going to do this better. I'm going to be better at this job. The best." James said with determination. The top of the list, Remus noticed when James held it up, was to "follow instructions".

"That top one'll be the hardest for a marauder." He said taking off his coat and tossing it onto the heavily laden coat rack.

"Marauding _is_ in my blood." James sighed.

"Still can be. I think. Just a bit more focused?" Remus suggested cautiously.

"That seems to be against the basic tenant of marauding." James replied grudgingly, and Remus couldn't argue against the validity of that statement. He began to walk over to the coffee table pushed tightly against the edge of the couch where James sat cross-legged. Not six inches away, spread out on the couch and still looking pale Sirius was lying surrounded by blankets.

"Prongs, I got this. Why don't you go get a shower and some sleep?" James shook his head and looked back down at the paper, where his notes were becoming increasingly incoherent. Remus was right up against the table when he insisted, "James go. I'll watch Sirius for a while."

James flustered for a moment then looked up. "It's fine, really. I… and… you have work in the morning anyway, I don't." He tried to explain. James looked back at his paper, but didn't continue writing. At his side Remus's lips bent into a twisted smile.

"Don't have work actually-"

James's face snapped up to his friends "What!" but before he could ask how Remus's boss had found out about his furry-little-problem Remus explained.

"I was named in the Daily Profit article about our little Azkaban event." He said nodding to Sirius. James didn't quite know what Remus meant, or why he was smiling. "Apparently my boss doesn't want rebel rousing nonsense in his shop. Doesn't want polarizing people working for him… The git." Remus continued, his eyes meeting James's, a delightfully marauderish twinkle in them.

"Fired on your own merits then?" James said suddenly matching the grin.

"Precisely. Wonderful isn't it?" Remus said with a short laugh, but he calmed himself. "So. . . anyway. I was hoping you might continue paying my rent? I feel like I've got a new calling that doesn't involve re-shelving books." Remus asked sheepishly.

"You only needed to ask." James said happily. He let out a breath of air, and looked at Sirius's pale face again. "You got this then?" He asked.

"100 percent" Remus assured.

* * *

"I made soup." Peter said setting a pot on the table and slipping into the seat next to his mother. The pot was full of a rich white soup and Peter ladled a bit into each of their bowls. His mother watched him the whole time. Peter settled into his seat and reached for his spoon but was stopped by his mother's warm hand covering his.

"I found your father." She smiled lopsidedly to him. Peter took a steadying breath, but his mother was already fumbling in her dressing gown pocket for something. Peter let her, trying to figure out how he was going to dispel her statements this time. "I found him." She said again, slipping a crumpled photograph out of her pocket. She pressed it onto the table and smoothed out it's crumpled corners. It was a black and white photo that had faded somewhat to brown. In it two people sat mooning at one another over a crowded dinner table. His mother looked young and happier than he had ever seen her. Next to her a round man sat in dark old clothing. He looked as bad a Remus, poor and threadbare, but delighted. Peter squinted at the pair, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't reconcile the man in the photo with the man he knew to be his father. His mother had changed, but she was still the same person. This man was certainly not his father.

"Your father wants to meet you." His mother said with the same certain smile. Peter looked at her. She was definitely confused now.

"Mum, this isn't my father… I don't know who it is, but my father is Jacob Pettigrew." Peter explained shortly. He slipped the photo back across the table to his mother's bowl.

"No, no." His mother whispered into her empty bowl. She looked like a small child with her hair wild and her smile innocent. "I married Jacob to survive." Mary Pettigrew blinked down at the photo, then up to her son. "We survive Peter, you and I. We are survivors… Jacob isn't your father, but he was rich." She said in explanation. She pushed the photo back toward her son. Peter looked back down at the photograph before him. The man didn't look like Jacob Pettigrew, but now that he looked closer Peter could reconcile some things about this photo, a nose, eyebrows, ones he had seen several times before, in mirrors and pictures of himself. A struggle was rising in him. Squirming, Screaming.

"I love you so much." His mother went on over the sound of blood pulsing in his ears. She said it seriously, and there were tears on the edge of her voice. She was trying to look him in the eyes. Peter swallowed a lump in his throat and returned the gaze realizing she knew what he had been up to. His name hadn't been in the paper, but Remus's had, Moody's had and that was enough. Peter looked down at his bowl of steaming soup. The fear of loss mingled with everything else. He had watched Remus lose his mother that year, but that's what happened. If you picked a side, people around you died, just as innocents had on Lily's birthday and every week since. The names were stacking up in the newspaper clippings, in the notes, and lists the Order made each week. Sirius, one of the strongest people he knew had almost been added to the list. His mother was a survivor though- he put this together with the new information. She had given up a poor man she loved, the man who made her smile like he had never seen her do, for a Pettigrew who she knew had money and would provide for an unborn son.

His mother had sacrificed true love to survive. They were survivors, he and his mother, and he had almost died in a fight outside Azkaban prison, and for what? He truly didn't know anymore. All he knew was that only one side was going to come out alive. "We're survivors" his mother said again reaching out to stroke his cheek.

"Survivors." He reassured, finally understanding what she meant. They sat for a moment, then Peter resolutely picked up his spoon and pointed to his mother's bowl, "You should eat." He said quietly as he felt his life begin to shift.

* * *

January came around colder, and snowier than any of them had expected.

"Hurry up!" James called. He was bounding ahead hand-in-hand with Lily as they all traipsed through a foot of snow down a small quiet road. Churches and houses lined streets looking like a gingerbread town under a layer of white frosting. Remus and Sirius were holding up the back, both tired and cold, but it was Lily's birthday and James had pleaded with them to come for when he showed her her birthday present.

"You going to make it?" Remus asked when Sirius stopped again to pull in a lung full of stinging air.

"Yes." He grumbled back. It had been a month since he had come back to himself, and being treated like he was a fragile piece of glass was wearing on him. "It's just freezing out here," He added picking up his feet and trudging forward a little quicker than before. Remus watched his friend nervously and slowed his pace to match his friend's weary one. "Melinda says there won't even be much of a scar." Sirius added with a smile that was more in his eyes than his cold lips. He looked ready to show Remus the spot were the scars should be, but thought better of it when a frozen breeze passed by. "More'n I can say for you." He said instead, pointing a gloved hand to the three new thin, but deep, scratches now running over Remus's left eye and down his cheek.

Remus pulled a red callused hand out of his pocket and ran a few fingers down the parallel lines for probably the hundredth time since the full moon the week before. He sighed and replaced his cold hand in his pocket. "What can I say? Prongs and Wormtail are useless babysitters without you."

Sirius smirked. "I always told them I did all the heavy lifting, they never believed me. Not once."

Remus smiled back at Sirius, who wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Don't you have a warmer coat?" He asked feeling his friend shiver under his arm. Remus shook his head and buried his face back into his fading Gryffindor scarf. Up ahead James had turned a corner and called to them again to hurry up.

After short walk down the next road leading out of the village James stopped suddenly in front of a warm brown cottage. Peter, Remus and Sirius caught up with Lily and James who were standing hand in hand in front of a wooden gate.

Once they were all gathered James nodded to himself, psyching himself up. "Okay." He encouraged.

"Okay!" Sirius called. Lily smiled to him then looked James in the eye, waiting as well.

"Lily Evens." He started, then stopped suddenly his face too busy breaking into a wide smile to continue. He looked around himself nervously then gave up, grabbed both of Lily's gloved hands and fell onto one knee in the deep snow. The marauders, knowing what was to come, were watching Lily closely. Peter snuck a camera out of an inside pocket of his coat. Sirius snuck his wand and a mini confetti cannon out of his, ready to shoot it off.

"James, we already-" Lily said giggling.

"Shut up Lily." Remus yelled, covering his mouth to pretend he hadn't spoken. Lily shot him a quick glare then immediately shut her mouth and smiled at James, inviting him to continue.

"So I thought you deserved this happening the right way." James said with a nervous cough. Lily mouthed "okay", letting him continue unimpeded. James gathered himself and started, as if reading off a script, "You take my breath away everyday." Sirius and Remus snorted to each other. This statement was one of the first thrown out in their brainstorming session. James didn't bother shooting them dirty looks, he was too busy staring at Lily's red hair sticking out the bottom of her hat, her green eyes sparkling despite the greyness of the day.

James dropped his right hand and reached back to his pockets looking for the ring, forgetting where he had stashed it. After an awkward few moments Sirius elbowed Remus in the side, and he immediately shook himself out of his stare remembering that they had given him the ring for safekeeping. He popped open his cloak and pulled a small box out of an inside pocket. He tossed it over to James who caught it gratefully, while Lily smiled bemusedly at them both.

James straightened himself, popped open the box and tried again. "This was my mother's, I had them send it out with their blessings." He told her leaving the script he and the marauders had written up behind. "This is your 19th birthday, you've made it a whole year in the Order. You've been mine for only a few months longer. You asked me to marry you in war, in fear and in a sudden realization of our mortality." James paused thinking through what he wanted to say. He could feel snow melting through the knee of his pants, but it didn't matter. "I want to ask you to marry me in peace times too. When we told you we knew about the Order, you said you wanted us to think about life. I've thought about it. I want my life to be with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to have kids with you and come home from a job to you, and…" James flustered. "I want you." James finished slowly rising to his feet. He reached out for Lily's hands and nodded to the house behind the wooden fence. Lily's face followed his nod. "I thought this would be a good start to proving that." He breathed out.

"A house?" Lily whispered a puff of breath visible in her astonishment.

"It's not bought yet, in case you don't like it. Remus helped me pick it out." James reassured. "He's been taking notes about what you hate about the apartment."

"James?"  
"So?" James asked, bringing his right hand and her left up to their faces, the box with the ring between them. Lily didn't answer, but instead dropped his hand and reached around his neck pulling him in for a kiss that lasted so long James thought he could feel the extent of their forever on her lips.

At some point Sirius shot off the confetti cannon and told them to get a room. They pulled away, James's glasses fogged and Lily smiling radiantly. James fumbled with the ring box, while Lily worked to get her glove off. He slid the glistening ring onto her freezing fingers, then slipped his hand into hers and led her through the gate and into the house.

The others followed slowly behind.

"Remind me never to fall in love." Sirius whispered to Remus.

"It looks nice." Peter countered.

"I wasn't made for a happily ever after." Remus sniffed through the cold as the wooden gate of Godric's hollow snapped shut behind them.

* * *

 _Finite Incantatem_


	22. Maraud: Who We Are

_Hey dear readers. A part II to "Maraud" has been written. :O_

 _[Dramatic music] The drama continues in "Maraud: Who We Are". Link is in my profile under stories..._

 _Thanks for following, favoriting, or generally enjoying, and here's a bit from the first chapter to entice you._

"And so I had my wand at his throat and he says 'fancy a drink?'… Idiot, so I blasted him into next week. Now he's in Azkaban." Sirius hiccuped jovially at the end of his story but across the table Peter's attention was still on a stack of papers. "Hey pay attention to me." Sirius slurred. He reached across the table and poked the blond tuft of hair atop Peter's head. "Hey, hey, hey-" he continued until the front door of the Hog's Head creaked open. Both young men snapped their attention to the door, but were immediately relieve at the sight of Lily and James pulling their hoods off.

Sirius broke into a wide smile. "Oi over here!" He beckoned unnecessarily, "Two more Butterbeers, Abe" Sirius ordered. Lily and James smiled thanks at the innkeeper and slipped over to join the others at their booth. James fell into the seat next to Sirius and Lily sat down across from him, weary but still graceful. "What took you so long? Peter's been ignoring me all night and Remus is dead to the world." Sirius jerked his thumb at the pile of rags on his right. Remus was curled up against the wall and snoring slightly.

"I haven't been." Peter protested still not looking up.

"He hasn't been, but he's been doing paperwork all night-"

"It's important Ministry of Health stu-"

"Is not!

Peter finally raised his head, "I have to get it done. I've been out with Mundungus every night this week-"

"Why did you leave me here alone with him James?" Sirius demanded.

"We got hung up with Order business, as always." James smirked before Peter had a chance to retort.

"Ignore him, James. Sirius is just upset that his stakeout yielded nothing." Peter pointed out.

"Nothing?" Lily was surprised, "The Lestrange's place was supposed to be a hotbed tonight."

"Either their security has gotten better since our last break-in or their meeting place moved." Sirius said dryly, dropping his argument with Peter. "Fabian and Gideon took over about a half hour ago, but I don't think they'll get much either."

"Maybe not, but there's always hope." James sighed.

"I was hoping to catch sight of Crier." Sirius moaned. What they all wanted was more information about the man. Anything at all, his whereabouts, his plan, his loyalty and more importantly why had the Death Eaters gone through so much trouble to break him out of Azkaban four months ago.


End file.
